I shivered once again at the thought of losing my only friend. I continued to pace to get some of the fear that I felt at that memory.
“Illian I can smell your fear, what is wrong?” Fahdon asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Oh nothing, I was just remembering the day I almost lost you because of my stupidity.” I sighed, rubbing my hands up and down my face trying to wipe my fear through friction.
“You were young trying to do something sweet for your mother. I don’t hold it against you and you shouldn’t either.” Sighed Fahdon with a sad look in his eyes.
“You say that but it is easier said than done if you ask me.” I smile at him.
“Come lay down and stroke my scales. It always seems to relax you for some reason.” He said as he rolled his eyes trying to make me laugh. We both knew why it helped me calm so much, he just wanted me to recite the lesson he taught me when I was little. So instead of blowing it off I let him lead me onto a less stressful conversation.
“The reason why it calms me is because you are calm and are able to transfer your emotions through your scales into my body by touch. Also because we are physically and mentally attached you also can pass calm though our bond but not as well as with physical contact.” I said as I sat down and made room on my lap for him.
“You know that this all will work out, even if it seems hard now once it is all finished it will be worth it.” Fahdon seemed to understand better than usual what my problem was before I even voiced it.
“I know that but already I am having issues controlling my mating instincts to pick her up and throw her on a bed just to claim her as mine. It is going to be hell for me for the next couple of years while I am trying to help her save the world.” I sighed and continued to run my hand down his back, “When mother said I would fall in love with her why did she not mention that she was supposed to be my mate. Hell why did she not tell me it was going to be so intense.”
“To tell you the truth, Illian your mother and I did not think you would have that part of being a dragon. You are only half so when you showed no signs of wanting to mate with any of the available females we assumed that you would have to find a mate like a human. We never dreamed that it would be this late in your life, every male and female dragon are driven by their very nature to find a mate when they are mature enough to conceive. For a normal dragon that is when they hit their one hundredth birthday. When your birthday came and passed we assumed it just passed you by because you were too human.” Faldon sighed and put his head on my knee, “I am sorry we did not tell you but we were hoping to spare you the heartache if you had found a mate.”
“Fahdon what are you not telling me?” I asked, stopping the movement of my hand on his back but still keeping contact because I had a feeling that I was going to need as much calm as I could muster.
“Illian if she is your mate and she dies while trying to save the world you won’t be able to live on. Your mind will be lost, you will have no more feelings for anyone and that includes me and your mother. You will force yourself to stop eating and die in the process. Since you did find your mate we have to assume that you too would mourn like one. Some dragons go insane before starving to death and have to be put down by the council. Your mother had to do it to her best friend because she lost her husband.”
“But my mother lost my father and none of that happened to her!” I said exasperated with their ability to hide things from me and talking behind my back.
“Now that is an interesting story if you ask me, but don’t try to hide behind a story you don’t care to hear. I know how you are truly feeling, so please, just be straight with me. Don’t beat around the bush until you make me poke it with a stick.” he said as he scratched behind his ear.
“It is just frustrating that you two talk like gossiping old women behind my back! You both should have told me it was a possibility from the start so I didn’t get blind sighted.” I growled at him smoke coming out of my nose again.
“Hey puff boy! I don’t know how many times I am going to have to tell you this but let me go slow for you, WE ARE OVER THREE HUNDRED YEARS OLDER THAN YOU! So yes we talk about you as if you’re still a child because you are compared to us. I would say I am sorry for that but your bitchy attitude has pushed my limits. We didn’t tell you because there was nothing we nor you could do to prepare yourself for that particular inevitable part of having a mate. Most likely it would have just drove you crazy, or should I say crazier, just thinking about when it happens and if you are going to be able to handle it. So we left it to fate so you could have a true childhood for a little longer!” Fahdon yelled, turning his back to me and curling his tail over his head.
“Hey big guy I should be the one apologizing for the things I said, I’m just scared. I didn’t realize how much mother and you did for me when I was young. Have I ever said thank you for always being there and making the hard decisions?” I put my hand on his back and started petting him, “I believe you and mom made the right decision by not telling me because I don’t think anything could have prepared me for this. I feel like my body is on fire, like I am getting pulled apart from within, and the only person that could even remotely help is in the other room. What scares me the most is this animistic urge to throw this door open go into her room and claim her as mine. It is hard to resist.” I sighed putting my hands in my lap trying really hard not to hit something.
“I need to warn you Illian it will get worse. I don’t know how bad it will get for you nor for how long, but if you don’t claim her soon you will have to fight like hell not to kill everyone around her that even looks at her sideways.” Faldon said as he turned his head slightly just enough to barely see him looking at me.
“What am I going to do?” I sighed just barely a whisper.
“Illian I-I-I don’t know.” Fahdon finally said as he crawled in my lap trying to comfort me in the only way he could.
“Think it’s time for bed, what do you think?” I smiled bleakly down at Fahdon.
“Well since we have nothing better to do... well actually I could think of somethings you would like to do better.” He said with a sly grin on his snout. I laughed so hard tears ran down my face which is what he had meant it to do.