The Beginning Of The End
May 20th 2020
I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to, but I had to! He knew too much! He was on to us. He even had the photo! He was going to post it and spread it everywhere. I couldn’t let that happen. That would ruin everything! I came here to have a better life. A life where no one knows what happened. People like me here and I’m not going to let anyone mess that up. It was his fault anyway. He made me do it. I’m not crazy like they say. I’m not! I did nothing wrong. No one will ever find out. This will stay a secret. No one has to know that James is dead. They’ll never know that I killed him. I can’t let that happen. If anyone else finds out I’ll kill them too. There’s too much to lose. Our secret will stay our secret forever. No matter what! It started with my mom. Now James. I’m not crazy. They both deserved it! Trying to get into business that isn’t theirs. This defying me will stop now! Let’s see how James like being sacrificed. I know my mom loved it. She always was a dumb bitch.
I woke up to my aunt yelling at me, and my alarm blaring. ”Alex! Get up now!” She yelled. “Okay, Jacky I’m up! Chill!” I yelled back. I know she didn’t like that. My Aunt Jacky never really liked me, but since the “accident” she’s been taking care of me. Ha. The “accident.” I grinned. I can’t believe people actually think it was an accident. That stupid bitch deserved it. Now I get to start a new life without her trying to control me. Today is my first day at Royal Academy. This will be a good day.
I finally get up and make sure that my diary is hidden. If Jacky found that I might have to shut her up too. I don’t need anymore of that. Too many of my clothes are already stained with blood. Anyway, I think I’m ready now. Am I? Yeah now I just have to get my backpack. I rush down the stairs to get the keys before Jacky does. I’m not siting in the car with her for that long. I’m only 15, so I can’t legally drive, but who cares.
I stop at this weird place called Rebelz Café to get some coffee. Finally, I have my white chocolate mocha. Coffee makes most people hyper, but it helps me calm my thoughts. It makes the voices a lot quieter too. Sometimes, I wonder if I could get cut the voices out of my head. I wouldn’t mind a little pain for them to disappear. I live for pain. Oh god this place is so preppy and happy. I hate it. What is there to be happy about? Our world is shit. I did mom a favor by taking her out of it.
Wait. Who is he? He doesn’t look like he’s from here. His curly black hair with his ‘I Don’t care’ Beanie doesn’t look like anyone else from here. He’s somehow mesmerizing. His hair looks so soft, and shiny? Am I okay? I never fall for boys. I only play with them. There’s just something about him. He seems so different. His body. It’s perfect. Oh, Lucifer why can’t I stop starting. I wonder if he sees me starting at him. Oh, is he?
Who is she? I’ve never seen her before. She must be the one I dreamed about last night. She seems so mesmerizing. Her long soft black hair goes below her chest. Just like in my dream. She’s even wearing the same beanie as me. Oh, Lucifer even her body’s perfect. Oh shit. I think she caught me starting. For some reason though I don’t want to look away. She’s different. I can feel it. Maybe she’s like me. I can’t call out to her. I don’t even know her name, but what if she has abilities like me? Maybe she’s an unseen too. I have to get to school now or I’m going to be late. I finally look away and get in my car. The drive to school was nicer than usual today. Everything looked so green yet so dark. I’ve always liked the dark. There’s just something so fascinating about not being able to see much if not anything, but still knowing somethings there. Again, I felt something different. Is she behind me? She is! She’s probably going to Royal academy. I just know she won’t fit in here.
I know he was starting at me too. At least now he can’t say that I’m a creep. What was he even looking at? Probably my belly button piercing. Boys are such creeps. I can’t help to think though. He looks just like Ash. Even his eyes seemed familiar, but it can’t be him. No! Ash is dead. You saw it yourself. The blood was on your hands. Maybe I should think about something else. This school is going to suck. I can’t even imagine all of the annoying kids that probably go there. I mean really. Royal academy? Who are they trying to fool? That’s when I saw it. It looks like a castle an old castle. There’s a long driveway lined with tall dark trees. You can barely even see though them. I wonder what’s back there. As I park I start to realize how much today is going to suck. I sigh. Let’s just get today over with. Everything is stone even the doors. The inside is even darker then the outside. “Hey I see you” What the hell? Was that. “Are you inside my mind?’ “Uh, yeah.” “Wait that means you’re like me! You’re one of them!” He didn’t answer after that. Maybe he lost the connection or isn’t strong enough. I have to get to my first class anyway. I check my schedule. AP Psych Room 330. The bell rings as soon as I get in the door. “Ah, Alex is it?” The teacher asks. “Yeah that’s my name.” “Well, Alex tell us a little about yourself.” Lucifer, I already hate her. “Okay. My names Alex and I love lucifer. You know Satan. Oh yeah and that kid in the back. What’s your Jake? Yeah, you’re cute.” The teacher Miss bitchy is what we’ll call her cuts me off. “Okay Alex that’s enough. Please take your seat.” I go all the way to the back and sit right next to Jake. Miss Bitchy starts talking. “So, Class I want you to take notes while watching this video.” That shouldn’t be hard.
- traditionally a personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits.
·Sociopathy is the same thing, but can be different.
·NOT official diagnosis
·true definition of a psychopath in psychiatry is antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
· an individual who shows patterns of manipulation and violation to others.
·ASPD does not mean Anti-social
Anti-social in ASPD is someone who goes against society, rules, behaviors, etc.
·Deemed crazy by society
·socially irresponsible behavior
·disregarding or violating the rights of others
·inability to distinguish between right and wrong
·difficulty with showing remorse or empathy (They don’t understand it?)
·tendency to lie often
·manipulating and hurting others
·recurring problems with the law
·general disregard towards safety and responsibility
· tendency to take risks, reckless behavior, and being deceitful with frequent lying.
·may also lack deep emotional connections
·have a superficial charm about them
·be very aggressive
· get very angry sometimes
·promiscuous sexual behavior
·More men than women have this diagnosis
·to receive an ASPD diagnosis, you have to be 18 years of age
·Some people will show signs of conduct disorder, which may be an early indicator of ASPD, as early as age 11.
·It’s a chronic condition that seems to improve with age
·Mortality rates are higher in people with ASPD because of their behavior
·the established guidelines used to diagnose ASPD is that the behavior generally begins by age 15 or in the teenage years
·ASPD tends to co-occur with other mental health and addictive disorders
Diagnosing and treating ASPD presents some unique challenges. ASPD is difficult to treat because they don’t believe there is a problem with how they act. So, they rarely seek help. In most people the worst behavior starts in late teens to their twenties.
Children showing signs are evaluated for CD and/ or ODD. CD is more severe than ODD.Typically, someone with ODD is more likely to act oppositional or defiant around family members, teachers, or a healthcare provider.
Often treated with psychotherapy and meds. However, personality disorders cannot be treated with medication. (?) Although they can be, they’re not always violent. In fact, most are not. They are not easy to spot. They tend to act charming and intelligent. They’re very good at mimicking emotions. They sometimes pretend to be interested in you, but in reality, they don’t care.
Although psychopaths and sociopaths are the same diagnosis they tend to act differently. Sociopaths aren’t able to pretend they care. They make it very obvious they only care about themselves. They’ll blame others and make excuses for their behavior. Some experts see sociopaths as “Hot-headed.” They act without thinking. Psychopaths are typically more cold hearted. They carefully plan out everything they do.
Their brains are different than most. Making some basic bodily functions different or opposite as ours. For example, when most people see blood or graphic violence their hearts get faster and they tend to sweat, but a psychopath has the opposite reaction. It calms them. This helps psychopaths be fearless and engage in risky behavior. They don’t fear consequences if anything at all.
Most psychopaths do love their family, S/O, and pets in their own way, but have trouble trusting anyone else. Psychopaths do suffer with divorce, death, even dissatisfaction of their own behavior. Centrality, to popular belief they do suffer emotionally. They, like everyone else, have the deep wish to be loved and cared for. Because of their behavior this desire is frequently unfilled. Psychopaths are sometimes aware of their behavior and can be very sad about their inability to control it.
Most psychopaths grew up in chaotic family lives. Lack of parental attention, substance abuse, poor relationships, etc. They feel as if they’re prisoners of their own etiological determination and feel that they had fewer advantages and opportunities than most normal people.
Despite their arrogance, Psychopaths feel inferior to others. Some are superficially adapted to their environment. Popular even, but they feel that they must hide their true nature in fear of people not accepting them. They often feel dejected knowing they’ll never feel the love or friendship others do. Psychopaths are known for needing excessive stimulation, but most foolhardy adventures only end in disillusionment because of conflicts with others and unrealistic expectations.
As they age they find that they’re not able to keep up their energy- consuming lives. They become burned-out and depressed while looking back at their lives. Their health deteriorates as the effects of their recklessness accumulate.
Suddenly the bell rings. “Wait class, we’re not done! Tomorrow we will be taking notes about violent psychopaths.” As I finish putting my stuff away Jake slides a note on my desk.
Meet me tonight 3 AM at oak tree dr. Clearing in the middle of the woods.
3 AM? That’s weird. After all my class I go put all of my stuff is my locker. Locker number 666. That’s ironic. In my locker is a piece of paper. Written on it is The Unseen. Someone knows. Already? Maybe it was just that boy. It’s probably nothing. I hear a faint beep before realizing that’s my phone going off. Aunt Jacky: Remember the Rules. Come right home after school.
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