1 month later
I had finally awoken from my coma a few days ago. Aspen was fully healed but I still had severe aches and pain in my legs and back. My body felt like it had been run over by a truck and at certain times I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. I was numb, everywhere. Zel has been here ever since the day Val found me unconscious, trying to heal me the best she could but even she had her doubts about my current state and recovery. I had not had contact with Jack since that night and to be honest, I was devistated. I heard a soft knock in the door and it open as Zel walked in.
She sat on the edge of the bed contemplating her words. She sighed softly and said "Anna, you have suffered one of the greatest devistations. The loss of your mate. If we do not fix this you will die along with him." She said sniffling as she held my hand.
I didn't respond. I didn't have the strength or the mentality to. I was hurting, no I was dying, just like Zel said. I had accepted it though, after almost a month in a coma I had a lot to think about. Most of the time I was wishing I had not rejected Jack the way I did but the other times I was thinking about my death. Would it be painful like the past few weeks? Would it be slow and torturous? Or would it be fast and emotionless? I wished for them all. I deserved it after the way I treated my "mate," even when they mentioned the word or when I thought about it, it made my heart constrict and burn. I pulled my knees into my chest and sobbed. I cried so hard I was getting sick, dry heaving as I crawled off the bed and to the bathroom.
Val came running into the room gasping when she saw me on the floor and said "Anna, let us help you."
I growled and snarled baring my teeth at them both. "I don't need any help. I deserve this. This is all my fault." My arms gave out and I fell to the floor smacking my face on the tile and busting my lip. I lay there with the taste of blood in my mouth as Zel and Val came to my side. Val's eyes were red and puffy from crying and Zel had the most sympathetic look on her face. And just like that, all the emotions and pain I had bottled up for the last month came flooding out. I screamed out in pain, tears pouring out of my eyes as Val sat up pulling my head into her lap trying to calm me. I grabbed her arms and held her tight. I just wanted the pain to go away. I wanted everything to go away.
"Shhhhhh, Anna it's ok." She said while rubbing my head trying to help my pain go away. But I knew nothing would help. I needed Jack but I didn't know where he was or if he was still alive. Since our mate bond wasn't completely connected I couldn't mind link him but I knew Aspen tried to reach Jett almost every hour and he never responded. She was slowly slipping away and I knew once she was gone, this time it was forever and I wouldn't be far behind her. I closed my eyes and let the possibilities soak into my brain. It was all too much and then I saw darkness.
I opened my eyes. Damn it, I'm still alive. Why? When am I going to die? Why can't I just go to sleep and never wake up, have a heart attack or just stop breathing and suffocate on my own spit. I stared at the wall of my room. Val and Zel must have put me back into bed after my breakdown. I could hear voices in the living room but I couldn't make out what they were saying but they sounded familiar. Then the voices stopped and the front door closed. Val knocked on my door.
"Anna?" She came over to the other side of the bed and knelt down in front of me. "Mr. Johnson came by just now. We spoke with him a few days after you came home but we had to lie to him about a sudden death in your family and he understood your suffering so he agreed to give you the next two months off." I didn't respond I just blinked and watched as she sighed closing her eyes as if she had given up on me. "We will get through this Anna. I promise. Zel is talking with other healers and is trying to fix this." She waited again for a response and when I didn't answer her she got up and walked to the door pausing to say. "I love you Anna. Please don't give up."
I sat there thinking how horrible I had been for making her go through this. My decisions always impacted others without me considering it. I was suffering and so were they but if I was going to get through this then I needed to start by admitting that Jack was my mate. I needed to let my heart heal, not that it ever would because the mate bond was so strong even before you're marked and mated that any seperation would break your heart. But I deserved it. He was right. He was my mate and I would never get the chance to tell him. I couldn't help but think about his beautiful face and the way he looked at me with those blue eyes. I wiped a tear that was falling down my face "I love you, Jack. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." Aspen whimpered and I let the tears flow with silent sobs.