I am already late
I am already late for her birthday party. I promised her that we would celebrate it together. I am supposed to be with her today, yet I still left her alone. For the first time in such a long time, she was happy about something, but again I am just disappointing her. Not only her but my wife as well. That is what I have always been, disappointment. Sometimes I feel it should have been me, not her mother to go away. She won't have missed me, I am sure. But now she is going to live a long disappointed life until she finds someone who can give her all the love she deserves. For now, the only thing I can do is reach her and make up for whatever we have left. This small present is all have now for that precious smile. I drive as fast I could, cutting in lanes, driving so fast that a tiny mistake, and it would be over. Just like that day, when her mother left us. When she left her.
While thinking about all that I reach to the door of the house, the only lights that I can see are in her room. It would have been a party if her mother had been alive today. We won't have had to move away from that house. Our daughter would have her mother and her friends with her. But here, she only has me. I slowly turn the doorknob to enter the house. Open all the light and put the gift box on the sofa. And then I go towards her room on the first floor. I open up the door slowly and look at her sitting on her bed looking towards the TV.
'Hey, honey. How are you today? Dada is so sorry, but he had work today, but now we will have the party. Okay?' I asked her
She looked towards me, for a moment in a daze like she was waiting for me for so long that she might cry, and then she said 'Hmm.' For a moment, she looked just like her mother. We both went downstairs, and I got the cake from the fridge. While I put the cake on the table, she got glasses and her favourite cola from the refrigerator. She looks so happy. Only if I could keep her smiling like this. As soon as she sat on the chair and looked at the cake, a shine came back to her eyes. And she blew over the candle with all her might. She looked so happy, just like any other girl of her age.
We both ate the cake with each other laughing and smiling. I still haven't been able to talk about her mother to her after those days.
'Honey, Dada is very tired after coming from the office, so he is going to the washroom. If someone comes at the door, don't open it if you don't know them, okay?'
With a small nod, she said yes. Taciturn as always.
I am so glad Dada made it back for my birthday. I was missing him so much since no one was at home.
When Dada was in, washroom suddenly came a knock on the door. I put the chair on the door to look who is outside from the hole indoor. It was the mommy. I am so happy mommy came back early from office. Dada came home after many days, last time mommy said Dada had gone far away, but he is back now. I opened the door and hugged mommy as soon as she came in.
'Honey, how are you? Let's go to Tommy for your birthday. Everyone is there.'
'Let's take Dada as well. He is in the washroom. And look, he brought me a cake,' and as soon as I pointed to the leftover cake on the table, it was empty. Nothing is there, the only thing there is the cola glass I used and an empty glass.
'Honey, I told you didn't I. Dada went to god. Didn't we go to his funeral? You shouldn't lie; it will hurt dada.'
But he comes to meet me now and then. He brought me a cake today as well. But I can't say that as mommy gets sad whenever I say anything about Dada.
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