Former Congressman

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“No! No! No!” John’s tone of protest wafted out. He would have been alone in Jane’s office, if not that Jane was there too. Jane was dismayed to see John protest. She had to talk.

“One moment, you fell like a pack of cards for my advances. Another moment, you were having fun, kissing my sensuous lips. Now it is no... no... no…”

“Not again.”

“Don’t tell me you suddenly got infected with saying no, from kissing me.”

“That is the point!”

“What point? I wonder if we had a taboo going on.”

“That is the point!” John screamed out of irritation.

“Everything seems to be the point. What is really the point?”


“Oh…you suddenly found my saliva acidic?”

“It has to stop,” John screamed on. “Kisses, hugs and all the sex! They all have to stop! Don’t you get it? Our relationship must become strictly official henceforth.”

“Oh...really,” Jane responded and smiled. She made to draw John closer to herself, but failed because John withdrew at once. “Oh…really,” Jane repeated.

“I’ve made myself abundantly clear.”

Jane laughed. Her laughter showed that she regarded John’s sudden change of idiosyncrasy as a thing of no substance.

“What has come over you?” She asked after laughing. “You should not be doing this, John. Well, let me believe that you wish to spend a little part of this day kidding.”

Jane observed John, who now had his back turned to her in defiance. “John, face me and hold my waist,” she demanded in a commanding tone.

“Your waist? No way!”

“That which has given you so much pleasure already.”

“It will never happen again. I swear!”

“Really? Don’t start what you can’t handle, John.”

“Can you swear you don’t know about Katy and I? Oh… come on, stop blundering about as if you don’t know Katy and I have something going for us.”

Jane went to John and grabbed his waist with both hands.

“Katy and I are women. Same sex,” said Jane, as her tone suddenly changed form. It became a seductive one. “Haven’t you found out what makes me a special breed, John?”

“I have no idea!”

“Stop lying and deluding yourself.”

“Get off me!” John yelled, and yanked off Jane’s hands from his waist. He now turned to Jane, looking at her face, which showed a little flicker of a warm inviting smile.

“I love you, John” John just frowned as he heard that.

“But that can’t be true,” he later responded. “You know it and you can’t be planning to trap me.”

John, still facing Jane, took two steps backwards, as Jane smiled again. Her response was gentle.

“John… my John,” she said, “is a man with very little understanding of numbers.”

“Point of correction! I’m Katy’s John. Not yours.”

Jane did not respond at once. She took three steps away from John, who looked on, before she turned.

“I must repeat this again,” she went ahead. “My John is a man with very little understanding of numbers. Do you think that numbers twenty eight and twenty eight match?”

“I don’t understand your language.”

“I’m right,” Jane said and laughed. “You have a problem with numbers. Now, John, let me put it to you simply. You’re too young for Katy and she’s too old for you.”

“Don’t force me to conclude that you’re really out of your mind, Jane.”

“I’ve made myself easy to understand. Twenty eight and twenty eight cannot go.”

“Jane, you heard me! Let’s keep things official here,” John shouted at Jane at once. This once again spelled his defiance. Jane then unleashed her threat in a mild manner.

“Are you dictating to me here or something very close to that?” She began, some firmness taking position in her tone. “You really should be dictating to me here?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that you’re stretching me.”

“I don’t think you love your record deal very much, do you?”

John had by now lost all words to utter in response. Jane’s threat, though indirect, was able to snuff out any guts to talk more, which John might have had. With no words further spoken, silence took charge. John was staring at Jane now. Words finally came to him. He did not speak them, for Kevin and Katy entered. Jane’s expression became a friendlier one, quite different from the stone-cold one she evinced, as she ditched out her threat earlier on. Kevin’s stare met Jane’s new expression, having narrowly missed the earlier one.

“Katy and I are heading to my office for some official discussions,” he said to Jane with a smile. “I decided to pop in to know how the two of you are getting on.”

“Great.” Jane’s quick reply came. She added a smile that beamed ‘all is well’. “John is having a great time,” she further said and smiled at John. “Any objection?” She asked John.

John would not dare to reveal what was actually going on. He forced a smile, as if he was never under any kind of pressure to keep doing anything against his volition. The smile he offered came hard. Katy watched with keen interest as John eked out that smile, in which he was smart enough to be able to say he was having a great time, successfully shielding the bone stuck right there in his neck, the bone being Jane.

“Not at all,” was what he later said. This drew a nod of satisfaction from Kevin. Katy’s face glowed with joy as a result, making her smile at John.

“Great!” Kevin responded. “That is what I love to hear.” He was soon on his way out with Katy. And it was a matter of two seconds elapsing before John and Jane were all alone again. John had lost what he wanted to say before Kevin and Katy came around. The expression now on Jane’s face had become unfriendly once again. She stared at John. It was not hard at all for John to decipher what that said. Jane’s stare said words that were direct and firm, before she went to take her seat. John, let me know when you are really serious about keeping your record deal, it said. There was only one way John would show he needed his deal. It was back to what it was before he began to protest in the first instance. Kissing Jane, mouth to mouth, deep kissing the virus that causes AIDS would be absolutely delighted to have all humans engage in, and facilitate its spread. Who was John to say he wouldn’t continue?

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