As we all went our separate ways, I was anxious to be alone with Luka. I mean sure he made me feel safe and happy but I had a feeling anything could go down between us if I didn’t keep my wolf at bay and I was scared I was gonna do something I’ll regret even though he’s been anything but nice to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before following close beside him. He put his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him.
“You really don’t have to do that Luka”
“I don’t but I want to and how am I going to show all these werewolves both mated and unmated who you belong it”
God, the sparks were beginning to become overwhelming as we walked together to his house wherever it was. It was quite a walk from the woods but we got there in record time.
“OMG!” Your house is huge”
“Yeah I guess but it’s just big in size not in life”
“Come on, lets go inside” he said pulling me in.
His house was big and beautiful. That just confirms how loaded he is as the third in command.
“Let me give you a tour”
He didn’t even wait for my response before he started showing me everywhere . He showed me the living room, the backyard , the kitchen, his office, his gym, the bedrooms and lastly his personal room.
“Pick any room you want ’cause I can sense your distress and anxiety. You aren’t ready to stay intimately close to me but remember I won’t force you into any uncomfortable situation. Remember the promise I made Zadie” he said when we left his bedroom.
He didn’t look sad saying this but I looked into his pretty grey eyes. They were currently a rain cloud gray and were looking at me with such sincerity I wanted to cry. He was trying his hardest to make me feel comfortable around him and my wolf was whimpering knowing we made him sad.
“Shhhh. You don’t have to say anything. Now come what do you want to eat” he shushed me walking ahead.
I walked faster and met him in the kitchen.
“I’m not really hungry”
“Do you want chips , cookies , popcorn , a sandwich........”
I cut him off ” A pack of chips is okay”
“Okay. Hmm, I have Doritos, Lays, Pringles....”
I cut him off again ” Lays is just fine”
“Hmm, what flavor? I have the classic.....”
“For the love of God. Just hand me a darn packet of chips” I said getting frustrated with the questions
I heard him chuckle in response and damn did it sound sexy
“Did you do that on purpose ? ” I said placing my hands on my waist
“Maybe” he said sheepishly
“Damn Delta” I muttered going to grab the chips from him.
“I don’t get a thank you? ” he said pouting after handing it to me.
“No” I said and he just laughed some more.
He grabbed 3 packets for himself and set it on the kitchen counter.
I raised an eyebrow at him and he just gave me an innocent face.
“He opened his fridge to do God knows what well probably get a drink but whatever. Before he could bombard me with ridiculous questions I replied him
“A water is just fine”
“But you didn’t even let me lay down my options” he said pouting
“You look cute when you pout”
“You think so but hey you’re avoiding the fact that I didn’t get to lay down my options”
“More like so you can bombard me with ridiculous questions ”
“Okay, okay I get your point”
He handed me the water and got an AriZona drink for himself.
“You really love junk food don’t you”
“Mhmm” he replied grinning like a child while I silently laughed to myself
“Come on lets go to the living room”
He plopped down on the couch while I awkwardly sat down beside him but not close to him. He noticed the distance between us and I heard him sigh quietly.
“Do you umm wanna watch anything? I have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon prime video and Disney plus.” he said
“I don’t really know anything about those but you can put anything that should scare the shit out of me” I answered shrugging.
This was better than if he had asked to get to know me better
He opened Netflix and put a movie titled’ Malevolent’
We watched it in silence while the only sound make was the slurping of his drink and crunch of chips.
It was awkward throughout the movie. I don’t get scared during horror movies’cause they are my absolute favorite. I stared at the screen the whole time but I wasn’t really paying attention. Too lost in my own thoughts.
When the movie was done, I took a quick glance at Luka only to find him staring at me.
“You know I’ve been staring at you for the past 15 minutes”
“Wow not creepy at all”
“That’s not my point. I’m just saying you looked absolutely lost in your thoughts”
“Oh. Well I was.”
“If you want to be alone, I’ll go set up a spare room for you”
“I don’t mind sleeping on the couch for tonight”
“I don’t mind setting it up”
He stood up before I could respond but I followed closely behind him making sure I grabbed my backpack.
He went to grab spare bed sheets, blankets and pillow cases from the laundry room before heading to the room closest to his.
He laid the bed even though I was well capable of doing that myself. He cleaned up the bathroom to a reasonable extent. He asked if I needed anything but I thoroughly declined saying I had every other thing I needed in my backpack.
He left but returned shortly after with a pillow in his hand.
“I figured you’d need a pillow but you won’t ask so I brought one from my room. I changed the pillow case though.”
“Thanks ” I said collecting it but avoiding his gaze.
He still stood there for a few moments before walking closer to me. My breath hitched when he tilted my chin up to look him in the eye.
“I don’t know what I do to make you so scared babe. I don’t know what else to say anymore but it breaks my heart to see that you don’t want anything to do with me”
He gently moved his hand from my chin and placed his lips on my forehead in a gentle and loving manner. I pushed him away slightly enough to create distance between us. I looked at him and I could see the hurt in his eyes before he gave me a sad smile and whispered “Goodnight mate” then left shutting the door behind him.
I felt horrible for what I did but I couldn’t trust him just yet. He has done nothing but be nice to me but my insecurities still show their dominance.
“We made mate sad” Anna said
“I know and I feel horrible but my mind refuses for me to accept him” I replied shedding a tear
" We’ll get around eventually and I know it isn’t going to be easy. I talked to his wolf and he can see that we are scared of being loved and then broken again but they made up their mind to never give up”
“I’ll be holding unto that”
“Me too” she replied before retreating to the back of my mind.
I opened my backpack and pulled out a large t-shirt comfortable to sleep in, my toothbrush and toothpaste , my body wash and sponge and a small towel I took with me.
I took a shower, brushed my teeth and dressed up before going to lie down.
The pillow he gave me reeked of his scent and I embraced the smell but couldn’t ignore the tug in my heart that I indirectly already broke his heart.
I wonder what it would have been like if it didn’t happen. I probably would be in his room cuddled up to him enjoying the sparks his touch causes but it did happen and now I have to live with it and hopefully one day he can forgive me for the way I’m treating him.
My heart yearns for him but my mind doesn’t and I hope one day when he finds out, he’ll understand because as much as my insecurities are dominant so is the thought that no matter what my mate Luka will always love with me despite my flaws and imperfections.