For the past 2 weeks, Luka and I’s relationship hasn’t changed. I know I said I was gonna help him plan for the end of summer party but I just find is so difficult to trust myself to be alone with him and he won’t hurt me. That’s the kind of mentality Rick has infused into my system after what he did. I’m glad Mason ripped his fucking body and soul apart but I can’t say I didn’t believe there was still an ounce of good in him.
Anytime Luka and I crossed paths in his home, I would simply walk away if he tried to talk to me. I didn’t avoid his presence because I mean I watched some television and he happened to be in the same room sometimes. It was only when he tried to speak with me that I avoided him. Sometimes it was a day or 2 before he tried again but Anna was continually bugging me to just give him a chance. Insecurities and fears are stronger than taking a chance so I’d rather not.
I went downstairs with my hair packed into a loose ponytail with a blue scrunchie. I wore a blue and white tie-dye midi dress with my adidas slides. It was loose and comfortable that’s why I liked it very much.
I’d learnt how to make some basic meals from all the youtube and tiktok food videos I had been watching so I decided to make some chicken curry since it was the only dish I had perfected with some white rice. I always forgot to add the salt to the rice but I didn’t forget this time.
Getting some frozen already marinated chicken I usually left in the fridge, I got the curry going and proceeded to wash the rice. I hated parboiling it ’cause it usually got a little too messy and a few times I forgot to wash out the starch before it cooked completely. It was completely nasty so I went with boiling normally.
When I saw that everything was cooking perfectly, I set out a plate for myself and brought out a canned cola soda. It was my new drink addiction.
“Why don’t you set a plate for Luka too?” Anna inquired
“And why would I do that?”
“Because he is our mate”
“You and I both know that we are not on that stage of our relationship”
“And whose fault is that”
“Let’s not do this right now Anna”
“Can’t you just try and if you get any bad vibes you can withdraw. If he tries anything similar, I will personally rip him apart. We can’t the same weak girl from 2 years ago.”
“But he’s a Delta.”
“And we are ex-rogues. We have more blood on our hands than he could imagine.”
“Just do this for me alright, please. I don’t want to fade away from existence because we neglected our mate. Heartbreak is the last thing I want to experience.”
“Alright. But if anything happens it’s all on you and I am running away and I won’t come back EVER.”
I proceeded to bring out another plate and cutlery and placed it beside mine. When all the water in the rice was dried out, I tasted it to see if it had enough salt and if it was too hard. When I saw that it wasn’t I turned off the cooker ( a/n stove, gas, electric plate whatever yall call it) .
The curry was almost done so I tasted it too and cut into a piece of chicken to taste for salt and it it wasn’t under or over cooked.
I dished reasonable portions into each plate and put the curry on the side just in case he didn’t like his rice soaked in curry. I just hope he likes chicken curry too.
“I thought you didn’t care but here you are worrying about whether he liked curry or not” Anna said cockily
"Shut it ” I said a little too harshly making her whimper
Now I just had to figure out how to get him down here to eat my food without giving off any vibes of affection so he won’t get the wrong message.
“And what exactly is the wrong message?” Anna said
“That I like him.”
“You’re in denial homegirl. Just don’t crush his sweet soul.”
As I was about to go back upstairs to look for him in his room, he entered the kitchen door with his eyes slightly glazed over signaling he was communicating with his wolf.
“Bitch, did you snitch me?” I asked Anna
“Maybe” she replied with a cackle
“I umm got the message from Liam. You don’t have to explain yourself but umm thanks. It smells really good in here” he said with a small smile
My mate was dressed in a pair of black sweatpants with a blue tank top that had splotches of black on it that clearly defined his muscles.
I think I’m going to start drooling”
“Shut up Anna”
“Umm, yeah ,sure whatever”
I sat down on the table and picked up my fork to eat. When I thought he wasn’t looking I used my side eye to glance at him only to find him looking at me already.
I looked away but I didn’t notice any weird reaction from him. I guess my cooking is getting better.
“Liam says I’m an awesome cook” Anna suddenly said
“Yeah sure, you totally are” I scoffed
“Thanks Zadie, it’s really good.”
“Mhm” I hummed since I was chewing on a piece of chicken
Awkward silence followed as I continued eating as so did he. When I was done, I picked up my plate not sparing a glance at him while sipping from my soda.
I proceeded to wash my plate and when I was done, I turned around ready to leave only to come in contact with a cotton covered chest forcing a gasp out of me.
“You’re in my space Luka”
“I’m not Rick you know yet you keep treating me like a plague ready to infect you at any opportunity.”
“You’re in my fucking space. I won’t say it again.”
“Why do you hate me so much? All I tried to do was get to know my mate. Last time I checked I didn’t do anything worth ignoring except existing.”
“Just leave me alone. ”
“You’re not the only one who had a shitty life. Bad things happen to people who live in packs too. You don’t have to act as if it’s my fault but I’m not gonna give up until you give me a chance.”
I don’t know why I even stayed to listen but I regretted doing so ’cause know I felt like a shitty person. I can’t keep treating every male I come in contact with like Rick but it sure as hell doesn’t mean they aren’t like him.
He didn’t even wait for me to speak before he actually left my space and walked away.
Later in the evening I went downstairs to get another soda only to see Luka in there again. We locked eyes for a few seconds before he looked away but it was long enough for me to know that my actions had hurt him really bad these past few weeks.
“I’m going for a run and I uh just wanted to let you know”
He was about going out of the door when I stopped him.
“Can I um join you. I haven’t let my wolf out in a while”
" I don’t have to change , do I”
“No, I mean you’re not gonna be wearing it anyway.”
So that’s how I found myself running around in my wolf form where Anna was more dominant and freeer. Anna’s coat was the exact shade as my hair as well as her eyes as in her eyes and mine were the same.
Luka and I kind of went our separate ways but I could sense his presence a few feet from me. I would run for a couple of minutes before stopping to catch my breath then do the same again. Luka didn’t bother trying to race or play with me until Liam took complete control.
“Lemme bond with my mate Zadie. Come on gimme full control. You and Luka can ignore yourselves but lemme just have this time”
Liam immediately recognized Anna’s full presence as he ran his snout along her neck in a form of a hug before he barked a little and ran forward signaling her to follow.
She complied eagerly as the two chased themselves while I watched from her mind licking themselves and mixing their scents once in a while to show that they belonged together since we hadn’t marked each other yet I guess.
They went deeper into the woods and came to a halt at a lake where they eagerly drank some water before Anna gave complete control back to me forcing me into my human form. I pulled on my dress which I had earlier tied to my ankle before I shifted as Luka put on a pair of shorts.
We both sat at the river bank consumed in our own thoughts.
“Our wolves seem to like themselves but our human forms seem like a one-way feeling” Luka said with a sad chuckle
“How do you know about Rick?”
“You get nightmares about the asshole Zadie. It’s not hard to figure out he’s the reason you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you Luka”
“Well you don’t like me either so”
“It’s not that easy”
“Yeah, so you’ve said”
I just kept quiet because in reality there was nothing else to say.
“My parents and siblings died 5 years ago. They were attacked by a bunch of rogues and killed in cold blood. A lot of people died that night but for so long I was so selfish to think that I was the only one who was affected. I didn’t care about people who were trying to help me, my academics or even my duties as the future Delta. All I felt was pain and loneliness. Jamie’s parents took me in and they helped me as well as Khalil, Jamie and Jared believe it or not. They became my new family and now I don’t let my past define who I am. They died on this exact same day and it’s a painful reminder every single day. I thought that when I met my mate that by now she would know all this and comfort me about it but that was just me being selfish again. Love is about putting other peoples’ emotions before your own and I hope you see what I’m doing Zadie.
“I don’t care about who you were before you met or what sins you’ve committed. I just wanted someone I could call my family again. My other half, My soulmate” he said looking me dead in the eye.
“You might hate my sole existence but I’m not going anywhere and I’m not letting you go either until you learn to be comfortable with me. I’m not Rick, I never will be and I will never EVER be like him. Even if it takes eternity to let you understand that, I’m not going anywhere.”
Soaking in all that eh just said for a while, I decided to speak up. Turns out it was confession night.
“He raped me when I was 16. At the time, I was naïve and so fucking stupid. I thought he loved me but he just wanted to reap away my dignity and that’s exactly what he did. He instilled a kind of fear in me that made me hate any male person that touched me in any physical way possible. Even if it was a slight tug of the wrist.”
“It may sound pathetic to you but it’s not something that I can help. Everything that happened that night, the way he ruined me. It broke my heart, my mind, my soul and my wolf. It’s not easy to just let your guard down when you know that there are people that will always want to hurt you no matter what.”
“I’m sorry. I -”
“What? You had no idea. Of course you did and don’t say sorry. It’s not your fault and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it. Bad things happen to good people all the time right.” I said getting up
“Wait, Zadie. Don’t be like that. Where are you going?”
“Back to your humble abode where I can’t be seen as the wreck I am by my mate.”
“Don’t go. Please” he begged while my back was turned to him
“You already got the information you want, there’s no need for me to stay.”
“Would you just let me be with you tonight. You can go back to ignoring me tomorrow, next week, forever. Just be here tonight please. Even if you won’t do it for me, do it for Anna” he begged
“Okay” I agreed with a quiet response
I sat down next to Luka. Very close to him that I myself was shocked.
“Why aren’t you rejecting me? I’m a broken flower.”
“You’re not broken Zadie. You’re just hurt and until you learn to realize that I’ll keep reminding you that your past doesn’t matter. It’s who you are today that matters. Don’t let your past define you and I don’t care. The fact that you I woke up everyday and still found you in our house tells me that a secret part of you wants this for us. Don’t reject it, embrace it and you won’t be disappointed. Don’t let the pain overcome you, let love do that.”
“Where do I even start from?”
“How about talking to me for one?”
“I could try”
“Then maybe just maybe if you’re comfortable you can get to know our duties in the pack Get to know our pack members and build our relationship. It may take weeks, months, years even but as long as you’re willing to try.”
“You don’t know if I’m going to die tomorrow or next week or next year”
“Like I said at least I’ll know that you were willing to try.”
“Why? How are you so-”
“It’s just life. You only live once right. So don’t let the opportunity go. Snatch it and hold onto it tightly.”
“Mason would have punched you if you said that to her face you know” I said giggling
“I get that’s she’s pessimistic. Not so hard to figure out but Khalil can take care of her.”
“Like you can take care of me.”
He smiled at me before replying” Yeah, just like I can”
Zadie fell asleep moments after our heartfelt conversation. I find out heart wrenching things about my mate. I don’t regret trying to find out but it hurt more than I expected. She was fighting herself to avoid getting hurt by the one person who will never hurt her.
I carefully lifted her into my arms as I walked back to our home. Zadie was average heighted and beautiful. She had averagely sized boobs and her ass. Oh God!! My girl was thick. No one and absolutely no one could compare to her and she was mine and mine only.
With all the shit she has been through, the fact that she even managed to hide all that was beyond unbelievable and Goddess it just made me love her even more.
I carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom where I carefully laid her on her bed. I contemplated whether I should remover her dress as it was stained or not but decided against it. I don’t think she’ll appreciate that.
I watched her for a few moments before deciding that she was comfortable enough. I brushed my knuckle over her cheek before gently placing a kiss on the cheek. I was about to leave when I felt a slight tug on my wrist.
“Don’t go yet” she said
“I have work to do Zadie. I’ve sacrificed a lot of time for us.”
“Please. Just tonight.”
“Okay.” I said agreeing while I went to get the chair near her desk to sit.”
“You can lie down beside me.”
“Trust me babe, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please” she said fluttering her eyelashes at me a little
I was so going to regret this but I got under the cover with her putting a safe distance between us anyway and folded my arms over my chest looking at the ceiling. Everything reeked of her scent and it was slowly driving me and my wolf crazy. She was lying down facing me but I refused to look in her direction . Only when she moved closer and placed her hand on my stomach tapping away until she felt my arm. She curled her palm over it before dragging it closer to her cheek while my wolf was chanting one word in my head ‘Mark’.
Shutting him out, I was thinking about how to escape her grip now that she was asleep. Instead of releasing her grip, one of her legs moved over my thighs and she moved so close that her head was now on my chest.
“Zadie” I whispered but it’s either she was too deep in sleep to hear me or Anna was in control.
I could either grudgingly shove her away or fuck it and regret my actions entirely in the morning. I chose to go with the latter and wrap my arms around my mate enjoying the sparks and comfort it brought. Her scent alone was driving me crazy talk less about all the things I was feeling. Trying to get my body to cooperate with me, I welcomed sleep with open arms as she breathed in my scent before I closed my eyes as the mate bond worked its magic.
THIS IS CRAZY
LONGEST MOTHER FREAKING CHAPTER OMG
Hope you all enjoyed all the emotions I put into this
There’s still more to their backstories lol
You’ll find out sooner lol but please comment.
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When I thought of it, I’ve been excited to write it ever since lol. I’m glad I finally could.
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