A Little Secret

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This is Harder then I Thought

Chapter 12: This is Harder then I Thought

✦Sean✦

I’m breathing heavy just from this slow run. Damn this concussion and slowly me down. With my hands on my knees I’m at the end of the trail. I feel like I haven’t exercised in almost a year. God damn this sucks ass. I felt my necklace fall out of my shirt and I watched it swing back and forth as it came in and out of my line of vision. Was this how it felt when Sasuke got a concussion when we were younger? But his was a lot worse then mine…by the sounds of it and what he told me he forgot a lot even about his fire ability thing that he can do. What the fuck did he call himself and snowflake? Elesomthing or other…aah whatever I’ll ask him what it’s called again later.

I stood back up and tuck my necklace back in my shirt before I go back to finishing the trail. Well the part that goes around the rest of the school. Andy and I really haven’t talked at all since I got back yesterday. Of course I just kinda clunked out on my bed after classes. Mr. and Mrs. Kaisai made me walk with Sasuke and I almost fell asleep in all of my classes. I accidently fell asleep during lunch. Snowflake and Liz made me sit with them so I was closer to the door. Now that I think of it. I don’t think that I really even saw Andy all day yesterday. Snowflake came and woke me up to come with him to get dinner. And I don’t remember what I even had last night. This sucks…I hate this…

On top of all that I don’t dare try to go swimming till I can actually stay awake and know for a fact that I won’t fall asleep floating in the pool. Maybe I’ll try to go swimming on Monday or Tuesday. “Why is the dorm so far away?” I grumble to absolutely no one but myself. I’m down to a walk now because I’m getting too dizzy trying to jog. I’m sweating like it’s fucking the middle of August and it’s not even that hot out today. Damn this so much. I never want to get a concussion again. I didn’t want one in the first place.

I don’t know how I’m going to react when Nick and Sam come back to school. I’m glad that I get a week away from them though. Well it doesn’t feel like a week that’s for sure. “The doors unlocked.” I muttered to myself like an idiot and open door to my room. Andy’s in the room and at his desk. He must be working on homework.

“Hey there.” I greeted as I slipped out of my running shoes and went into the closet to take off my socks and get on my flip flops so I can go sit down in the handicap shower.

“Hey.” He responded.

“I’m going to go take a shower.” I told him as I threw my towel over my shoulder and grabbing my shampoo and what not. It was kind of upsetting to leave the Kaisai’s I really liked being able to sink into the tub.

“Before ya do can I ask ya somethin’?” I turned around to still just see the back of his brunette head. Could he not even look at me because I got his best friends suspended? Well they got themselves suspended.

“Can ya tell me yer side of the story?” He said finally actually leaning to the side in his chair and turning to look at me.

“Originally they said that you wanted to talk to me, but you knew that I had my picture to work on but I followed them anyways, I can’t remember our conversation all that well, um…Sasuke came in, I got in front of Sasuke, told them they better make sure I don’t get up other wise they won’t like the outcome and yeah…that’s all I got.” I say trying to remember more but my head was starting to hurt so I ended up grabbing my water bottle and finishing off the water I had in it.

“Why do ya hang out with that lil’ pipsqueak?” I blinked a few times taking in the question.

“What does it matter? He’s a friend…Besides I haven’t really been hanging out with him. And if this is all because I protected him from getting involved in the fight between me, Nick, and Sam, then shove it.” I spat back at him going over to the door and jerking it open. “Why do you even want to hang out with me anyways?”

“Because I need ya for the swim team. Yer records are nuts and we lost are good free style swimmer so we need to stay on top.” He got up form his chair and came over to me. Grabbing a fist full of my shirt he pulls my face close to his. “And if ya value that pipsqueak ya’ll do what I say. And don’t worry everything will be blamed on ya for whatever happens ta him.”

He was threatening me…This fucker is actually fucking threatening me and Sasuke. Closing my eyes and taking a slow shaky breath in I put my free hand on his and untangle his. “Your father’s not the one that’s the principal the last time I checked. So you might want to back the fuck off.” I drop his hand and turn back towards the hall. “Leave Sasuke out of this. It’s between us, not him.”

“Oh bout that, he got involved the day he stepped in to defen’ whitie when I told ya to go pick on him.” Again slow deep breaths, just slow deep breaths.

“His name is Toshiro. Get it right will ya.” I said and headed down the hall to the bathroom ending the conversation.

Turning on the water to let the water heat up I get undressed after closing the door that closes off the small section that is between the shower and the rest of the bathroom. Before I go in though I wrap my towel around my waist and go fill up my water bottle that I accidently brought in with me. Then I go back and get in and let the hot water hit my chest first as I close the curtain.

What do I do? I mean I can go and talk to Mr. Kaisai about it. He is the principal…But if I do that…Andy will know that it was mean and not only will he make my life even more of a living hell he’ll make Sasuke’s one too. I took a deep breath in turning my back to the water and tipping my head back. If I talk to anyone about this…no matter what Sasuke will end up getting hurt. And it’ll all be because of me. Maybe I can ask for a room switch…there are a few other people that are thinking of trying out for the swim team that don’t have roommates. I could try to room with them…

Running my fingers through my soaking wet black hair I pop a squat on the still a bit chilly seat that’s in this shower. My head is pounding and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I feel like I should have just stayed at the Kaisai’s till Monday. Hell I would have gone back to my foster parents house too. I hate this…I hate this so much. “Why is it everywhere I go I feel like a fuck up…” My voice cracks. I’m sure that no one could hear me with the water running.

At least water helps me calm down. I can’t let it show that he got to me. “That kid needs to get the shit beat out of him that’s what he needs.” I grumble to myself leaning back and resting my head on the wall. After I don’t know how long I finally decide to clean up and get out of the shower. I’m exhausted anyways. I’m not too sure what I want to do. I have homework I can try to suffer through. If I don’t try to get something done, then it’ll just be worse tomorrow. “Ugh…I wanna sleep.” I whined as I pulled my shorts up. Sighing as I put my towel over my head I grab everything and wander back to the hell hole of a room.

I notice Sasuke and Toshiro coming out of his room. I forced a smile onto my face. “You okay?” Snowflake asked me.

“Yeah, I just shouldn’t have done as much running as I did. I don’t feel the best ya know.” I said which isn’t that much of a lie.

“Try to get some rest.” Sasuke nodded a bit I don’t know if it’s just me but it looked like Sasuke didn’t really believe me.

“After I get some homework done.” I said when I got to my door. I put a hand up and wave a little before opening the door and heading in.

Apparently I was in the shower long enough for Andrew to leave. Good I didn’t fucking need him in here to deal with. So sitting down at my desk the wonderful not so fun fest begins with History, because that I always try to do first.

“That’s done…” I mutter to myself and look at the clock to see that it took me an hour and a half to do. I can just try to crank out what I need to read and reread for Beowulf tomorrow morning. I need to lay down.

Obviously didn’t wake up because when I open my eyes and look at Andrew’s alarm clock in the room it’s 6:30 in the morning. He’s passed out in his bed blanket on the floor and sprawled out. Today’s not going to be very eventful. But I need to piss so…up and out of bed I go. It feels like the day flew by because before I know it it’s Tuesday morning. Andy and I really haven’t talked since the argument.

I’m feel a hell of a lot better though. Tonight I’ll probably try to float in the pool a little bit after class. I should also probably call my foster parents again just to make sure I tell them that I’m okay. Even they are stressing to me to not over do it and they want me to come home this weekend just to make sure. It’s not that bad though. I’m actually really happy that I ended up with nice foster parents that care about me.

“Sean wait up.” I stop. Fourth period and this is the time where I normally head to my locker.

Sasuke ran up to me. “Hey are you free tonight?” he questioned.

“I thought we agreed not to really talk in public.” I grumbled still what happened Saturday fresh in my mind.

“You’ve been sitting with Shiro and Liz at lunch, besides I’m open tonight, I’m willing if your up to it to try and learn how to swim.” I’m a bit shocked by this. He actually wanted to try. When we were kids he always refused to get in the pool. I guess people can change.

“Oh um…sure…I mean I was going to try swimming today anyways so I don’t see why not.” I reply looking down at him. I don’t have to look down as far as usual, he must have gone through a growth spurt.

“What are you two talking about?” I sighed a little when I heard snowflakes voice quickly come up behind us.

“It’s nothing.” I answered quickly.

“Well Sean offered to teach me how to swim. Sasuke commented as the three of us got to my locker as I started doing the combination.

“Oh that’s nice of you to do Sean.” Snowflake mentions. “Can I join?”

I sigh opening my locker, “Sure why not.” It was just supposed to be something between Sasuke and myself. I didn’t really want anyone else of people that we hang out with to know. But the cats out of the bag with snowflake now. “Sasuke do you have any swimming trunks?” I want to get right to the point with this.

“Um…no…” I drop my books in my locker and grab the other ones I need and then I turn and look at him.

Of course he doesn’t. He can’t swim so why the hell would he have swimming trunks… “You can borrow mine. I have my leggings or jammers I can ware.” I say and close my locker.

“You don’t have to do that.” Sasuke waved his hand at me.

“Obviously I do. I’m not teaching you how to swim with you wearing gym shorts in the pool.” I responded and leaned against my locker.

“What’s wrong with gym shorts?” He puffed out his cheeks at me.

“They’ll drag you down. Gym shorts aren’t made for a pool. Any type of normal pair of clothing will drag you down.” I argued back to him with that valid point.

“But I don’t need to borrow yours.” Sasuke objected.

“Obviously you do. Snowflakes joining us so you have no choice in the matter. I’ll give them to you in the locker room. Be there around 6 tonight.” I said ending the argument that we were having and walking away from the two of them.

The rest of school kinda went a faster after that. I end up decided to stay in the art room so I can get more of my watercolor done. Stopping every now and again to get up and walk around. Clary was in here with me working on hers. She had her laptop open and youtube playing.

“Who are these you tube artist?” I question her not looking up from my painting. The song that was playing was a youtube artists version of I’m Just Your Problem from Adventure time.

“Oh do you recognize the song?” She asked me and I nodded.

“It’s from adventure time isn’t it?” I mutter I haven’t watched it myself but I’ve heard about it. And I’m Just Your Problem is one of the biggest song from the show.

She came over and sat down next to me with her laptop and proceeded to tell me about the artist’s and showing me other youtubers who’s done their own versions of songs. “Hey Sean I have a question.”

“Shoot.” I respond as I walk over to the sink and wash out my brushes and cup.

“Your so nice. Why do you put up with Andrew and his friends? They bring out the worst in you.” I stood there with the water running over my hands. I stopped washing out my brushes and stood there.

“It’s complicated.” I answered quietly my chest is starting to hurt again.

“They’re not bullying you into hanging out with them are you?” I turn off the sink and walk over to my painting again setting everything down. “They are aren’t they? Sean you can’t let them do that.”

“It’s a lot more complicated then that Clary.” I sigh not looking up at her as I grab my bag and zip it up.

“You need to tell someone. Go to the principal, tell someone they can’t get away with this. It’s not fair.” She was trying to to defend me.

“It’s okay. I can handle it. I’ve been picked on all my life.” I put one of the straps over my shoulder. “Besides if I don’t others could get hurt. I don’t want to see them hurt.” A sad smile makes its way onto my lips as I shove my hands in my pockets. “I’ll see ya later Clary.”

Before she could say anything else to me I leave the room and head to go get something to eat. After eating I went back to my room. Andy’s here.

“Where are ya goin’?” He asked me considering all I did was drop my backpack on my bed then went into my dresser. I grabbed my swimming trunks and jammers at the same time then went and grabbed my spare towel.

“Thought you weren’t talking to me. I’m the ass that got your friends suspended.” I retorted not looking at him as I tossed everything in my arms on my bed and grabbing my sports bag. I over heard him talking to someone and that’s what he said.

“Zimmer yer not makin’ things better fer yerself if ya keep up with that attitude.” Andrew mentioned.

I didn’t answer him back as I threw everything in my bag and pulled it closed and left the room. The less I had to be around him right now the better. After tomorrow Sam and Nick would be back in school too. It was going to be a living hell when they get back here. The best thing right now was the fact that I was going to be in the pool. When I get to the locker room snowflake and Sasuke are already there. Toshiro is in his swimming trunks already and Sasuke is leaning against the lockers and they’re talking.

“Hey Sean!” Sasuke smiled at me and then his smile quickly went away. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head, “It’s nothing. Just frustrated with Andrew is all. It’s nothing new.” I reply and set my bag on the bench so I can open it. Once I get it open I throw my swimming trunks and nail Sasuke in the face with them. “Readjust the strings so they down fall off your ass in the water.”

“Thank you.” Sasuke said obviously upset that I won’t really say anything about what’s bothering me. I can read the kid like a book sometimes.

“Hurry about and get changed.” I said pulling off my shirt and kicking off my shirt at the same time. Over the years I’ve gotten so use to getting changed in front of people that I don’t care if someone’s right next to me.

Sasuke was able to get get changed as fast as I could and in what feels like no time all three of us walk out into the pool. I walked over to the shallow end of the pool and hopped in. The water only waist deep.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Sasuke comments and I look over at him raising an eyebrow.

“Get in the fucking pool.” I grumble and he gets in.

He takes a couple of shaky breaths and then turns towards the side of the pool. “I can’t do this. I’m getting out.” He panicked.

“Oh no you don’t.” I grabbed him and pulled him deeper into the pool.

“I’m going to drown.” He squirmed in my arms.

“You won’t drown. Stop acting like your afraid of the water.” I comment but he doesn’t stop. “Okay hold your breath. It’s time for you to cool off.” I said and take a deep breath myself and fall back into the water.

I didn’t keep us under the water that long. Literally just to get Sasuke completely under the water and then I pushed us back up. It did actually help him calm down and I’m able to let go of him. “See, we’re in the shallow end. And I’m right here, nothing bad is going to happen.” I reassure him.

“S-Sorry…” His face flushed a light pink and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’ve got this Sasuke. It’s like riding a bike. Once you learn how to swim you’ll never forget.” Snowflake tried to reassure him as he sat on the side of the pool with his feet in the water.

“First you need to learn how to float before you can even think about learning how to swim.” I mentioned “You have to trust me.” I said putting my left hand on his already dry back. It’s like his body was a fricking oven. I pressed my right hand on his chest and started to push him back. “Now relax and let your upper body lay on top of my hand. When you feel comfortable take your feet off the bottom.” I explained to him.

I could feel his heart pounding against his chest into the palm of my hand. “Relax, I’m not going to let anything happen. Take deep slow breaths and calm yourself.” I don’t really consider myself the best teacher in the world. Hell I can’t even call myself a teacher, but the one thing that I was confident enough in was teaching someone how to swim.

It took a few minuets but he did calm down and when he let his feet up off the bottom of the pool so all his weight was on my hand that was on his back. “I’m going to pull my hand out from under you now. If you start sinking just get your feet under you.”

He took a slow breath in and nodded so I pull my hand away. Aaaaand down he goes. Into the water. He burst out of the water and spit out the water that he must have pulled into his mouth on accident. He was coughing so I pat him on the back. “You okay?” I ask and he nods.

“I’m okay.” Sasuke smiled up at me. “Lets try again.” He sounded determined, which is a good thing. I don’t want him to give up just because he couldn’t get it on his first try.

We keep trying, but every time he keeps sinking, like a fucking rock. We tried for a solid like hour, hour and a half till we decided to call it. “This sucks.” Sasuke groans as he was sprawled out on the bench.

“Well you were right about you sinking like a rock. Every fucking time.” I sigh as I dry my hair with my towel.

“I’m the worst person in the world.” He whined and snowflake laughed a little.

“Some things aren’t meant for others Sasuke.” He tried to make him feel better I think.

“Sasuke stand up.” I told him and he actually did. I tapped him with the back of my knuckle on his forehead. “I’ll figure out a way to teach you how to swim. Don’t get down on yourself okay?” I smirked. I wasn’t about to give up on him. “Shake on it.” I smiled at him and held out my hand.

He took my hand and we did our normal hand shake. “I’m going to head out.” I waved and turned my back to the two of them. “And no stealing that hand shake snowflake. It’s mine and Sasuke’s.”

I can only do so much, but at least I’m trying with everything going on. I didn’t want to lose a friend. Don’t want any of my friends getting hurt because of me.

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