A Little Secret

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I'm so Sorry

Chapter 18: I’m so Sorry…

✦Sean✦

I’m really glad that Mrs. Kaisai likes her bracelet it made me really happy. After my shower I laid in bed. It was really quiet when you don’t have a roommate. I didn’t have all that much stuff so the room is pretty empty. It’s not long that I’m drifting off to sleep when I close my eyes and relax the muscles in my body. I rocket out of bed when a loud thud hits my ears. Trying to look around my room while I’m half asleep. What time is it? Rubbing my eyes to try to get myself to wake up I get myself out of bed and open my door.

Covering my eyes from the light that’s in the hall there’s no one there. Though it wasn’t a knock that hit my door it was a thud. Maybe Sasuke or Toshiro hit my door on accident? Might as well knock and ask. Leaving my room I wandered the short walk to my neighbors room and knocked on their door.

I heard someone hit the floor with a thud and then come over to the door. The one who opened it was Shiro. “Sasuke did you lock yourself…oh hey Sean.” He said that automatically told me that Sasuke wasn’t in the room. “Is something wrong?” He asked covering his mouth as he yawned.

“Did you or Sasuke hit my door?” I asked feeling a little more awake then what Toshiro was looking right now.

“He got up to go to the bathroom like five minuets ago. It’s weird, he’s usually back in the room by now.” Toshiro stated scratching his cheek.

“I’ll go check the bathroom to make sure he didn’t fall in.” I sighed and wandered down the hall to the bathroom. I stop as I pass my old rooms door. It was cracked open. It’s never cracked open like this even sense I left. I pushed the door open and no one was in there.

Andy doesn’t get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom though. So where is he? I go and check the bathroom and no one but me is in here. All the stalls are unlocked and empty. Now my heart is starting to speed up. Don’t tell me Andy did something to Sasuke… I run out of the bathroom and back down the hall my bare feet tapping quickly as I picked up the pace. I come to a stop in front of Toshrio.

“Was he not in there?” My snow-white haired friend asked me as I looked at him.

I shook my head. “There’s no one in the bathroom. What’s worse is Andy’s room is also empty.” I answered.

“You don’t think…” He trailed off.

“If he did I’m going to fucking kill him. He can’t take shit out on Sasuke.” I growled and headed off down the hall.

“Where are you going Sean?” Shiro called out after me.

“I’m going to look for Sasuke.” I answered and picked up the pace and headed down the stairwell to the first floor.

My heart is pounding against my chest as I make it to the end of the stairs. My nerves are on end. Did Andy do something to Sasuke. My heart sinks even further when I seen Andrew and Sam walking back into the building snickering. I ran over to them and instantly grabbed Andrew’s shirt collar.

“Where the hell is Sasuke?” I questioned with a snarl in my voice.

I heard foot steps behind me. “Are you trying to wake up coach?” Andy said right back to me. I know that we’re standing in front of his door and I don’t care if we wake him up or not.

“Where’s Sasuke. I know you have something to do with it.” I retorted getting louder.

“He said he wanted to go for a quick dip so we figured we would help him out with that.” Sam snorted and covered his mouth trying to hold in his laugh.

My eyes grew wide and it felt like my heart stopped. I quickly let go of Andy’s shirt and pushed him out of the way. “You idiot’s, Sasuke can’t swim.” I heard snowflake’s voice behind me.

I ran out of the dorms and straight towards the pool. I have to hurry. There’s another set of foot steps that are catching up to me. I look back to see that it’s snowflake. “Do you know CPR?” I called back to him as I took the corner rounding the building so I can get the the side entrance for the pool.

“I do.” He replied quickly.

“Good because get ready to do it when I get him up and out of the pool.” I said opening the door and not even waiting for Toshiro to get here I threw off my shirt and kicked off my shoes then dove into the pool. I opened my eyes once I knew I was completely under the water and I can see Sasuke not moving at the bottom. When I got to the bottom I hooked my arms under him and tried to pull him up but I couldn’t get him to move. Letting go of him I made my way over to the drain. Something’s got to be caught. Why the fuck are his ankles tied? Are they seriously trying to kill him? My chest is starting to hurt from how long I’ve been down here. I’m closing in on a minuet. But I’m not leaving him down here. I’m already running out of time he’s unconscious. I have to get air…no I’m not leaving him. I can’t hold my breath any longer as I finally get the knot out I let out what hair I had left in my lungs and like an idiot I inhaled taking in water.

Why aren’t I blacking out? No, no I don’t have time for this. Whatever the hell this is, it’s telling me I need to get Sasuke out. I get my arms under him trying not to breath because I don’t want to take the chance of it being some sort of fluke and I actually start drowning myself. I get a good hold on him and push off with bottom with all the strength that I have in my I have left in my legs and launch us towards the surface.

I take a deep breath deep breath of air when I get us up and start coughing as I swim us over to the side Where Toishro was waiting. I handed Sasuke to Toshiro and I helped him get Sasuke out of the water. I get out of the water myself and I start coughing up water as Toshiro starts CPR on Sasuke. What was that back there? I don’t get it. I sucked in water I know I did, so way wasn’t I choking? Coughing came from behind me and I turned around to see Sasuke on his side and he was upchucking water.

I crawled over to the two of them. Toshiro was rubbing Sasuke back as he was in a coughing fit and heaving a bit to get the rest of the water out that he swallowed.

“Sasuke, are you okay?” I asked as he was finally calming down.

He nodded a little as he rolled back onto his back. “Thank you.” He was out of breath and breathing heavily.

The side door burst open and I looked over to see Mr. Johnson the swim team couch and Mrs. Manson, the schools nurse come through the door. Mrs. Manson came right over to start to check on Sasuke.

I sat back on my legs I brought my hands up to my wet face and started to wipe away the tears that were starting to fall. I felt a cold hand on my back and. “Sasuke’s going to be okay because of you.” Toshiro mentioned.

“It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t beat Andrew in that race this wouldn’t have happened.” I answered and I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Mr. Johnson standing over me with his hand on my shoulder.

“With the stunts that Andrew has been pulling trust me he’s going to have to answer to a lot of things after I tell his father what he’s done. He could have killed someone tonight because he thought it was a joke.” Mr. Johnson tried to reassure me, but I still feel like it’s my fault.

“Boy’s can you help me get Sasuke to my office.” Mrs. Manson asked snowflake and myself.

“I can walk Mrs. Manson.” Sasuke smiled. He looked exhausted.

“Well then they are going to at least walk along side you just in case.” She was flustered with Sasuke a bit because I can tell she doesn’t want him walking with what just happened.

Toshiro helped him up and we walked with Sasuke and Mrs. Manson to the nurses office. Mrs. Manson called Mr. and Mrs. Kaisai about what happened. They didn’t file anything against Andrew or Sam. But that doesn’t say what’s going to happen to them when Mr. Wolfe finds out.

I haven’t seen either of them today. Maybe they got suspended. I don’t know what happened, but I sat alone. I know that Toshiro motioned me to come over but I just couldn’t bring myself to sit with him and Liz. I wanted to be alone. It’s my fault that Sasuke got hurt. Everything’s my fault, that’s how my life has been. I take the blame for other’s, no matter what it is…I’ll take the blame…I always have. I’m just a no good foster brat. I’ve never known my parents so it’s easy to get things blamed on me.

“Hey.” Someone’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked down to see Sasuke had put a hand on my shoulder. We’re at my locker and it’s the end of the day.

“Hey.” I answer back quietly as I go back to pulling stuff out of my locker.

“Are you okay? I’ve been trying to get your attention all day, and Shiro said that you didn’t sit with him at lunch. Something’s gotta be bothering you.” He rifled off at me.

“Why don’t you blame what happened on me?” I ask simply and kinda quiet as I zip up my bag and look over at him.

“Because you didn’t do anything. Why would I blame you? That’s a stupid thing to say Sean.” He commented.

“Everyone else does so that’s why it would just be easier to blame everything that’s happened on me.” I stated throwing my backpack over my shoulder and closing my locker.

“Your ridiculous you know that?” He sighed and I looked down at him.

“Sorry.” I muttered and go to walk away just to have him grab my wrist. “What?” He didn’t say anything he just pulled me in the opposite direction. “Where are we going?” He didn’t answer me. “Sasuke…” Okay, he’s starting to piss me off because he’s not answering me.

He drags me out of the school and onto the cross country trail. He doesn’t let go as we go off the trail and deeper into the woods. I think I know where we’re going. We’re going to that meadow that they train. But why are we going there without Toshiro or the twins? He let go of my wrist when we got there. “Why are we at the meadow?” I question confused.

“Because I want to ask you something.” He said.

“And you couldn’t have asked all the way back at the school?” I tipped his head.

“Let’s play 20 questions and we’re going to spar. Come on I want to see what you’ve got.” He motioned for me to follow him further into the meadow.

“W-why?” I stutter completely confused as to why we’re going to spar.

“Because you seem interested every time you come and watch and I want to see what you’ve got.” He smiled happily as we stopped.

“But I don’t have a reason to. I don’t have an element to train with. I’m just some boring nobody that takes the blame for everyone.” I confessed. To be honest I was a bit jealous of Sasuke, snowflake, and the twins. I would love to be like them. I feel like I’m on the outside of a club that I can never join.

“Sean, you shouldn’t take the blame for others when you’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t make yourself think that it’s always your fault. It’s not, it’s really not.” He lightly tapped his fist to my chest. “When your minds a mess and you feel lost, listen to your heart. It will always show you the way and guide you back to the light, even in the darkest of nights.”

I blinked as I looked down at Sasuke. What does that mean? Did he get that off a snapple cap or something? “I don’t get it…” I finally said and he smiled.

“It’s something my dad told me. It means if you can’t think straight and your thoughts are confusing listen to your heart instead. Your heart will tell you where to go.” He explained and a stupid grin spread across his face as he took his hand off my chest and scratched his cheek. “At least that’s what I got from it when dad told me it.”

I sighed and slapped my forehead. “You were being all cool and then you go and act like a dork.” I slid my hand down my face and he chuckled a little.

“My main point is you keep thinking that you’re the one to blame for everything, you need to stop doing that. Listen to your heart. Its telling you you’re not a bad person.” He said and I looked away from him and down at the ground.

“Yeah, but when your heart and your head are both confused what do you do then?” I questioned rubbing my arm. I didn’t give him time to answer because I started heading back to where I left my bag. “Sorry Sasuke I’m not really in the mood to try and spar. Maybe some other time.” I answered.

“But Sean, I have something I want to tell you.” I could hear him getting closer to me, but then I saw a particular head of white hair along with a pair of blue heads.

“Tell me later, you have something else you have to do.” I smiled at him and Toshiro popped out of the woods.

“Hey you two.” Toshiro greeted and looked between the two of us. “Are we interrupting something?”

I shook my head. “Na, Sasuke just wanted to get here early and didn’t want to be here alone so I tagged along. I do have to get gong though. I’ve got a lot of English homework I have to get done. It’s what I get for being in a AP class.” I lied and headed into the woods. “You guys have fun.” I told them gripping onto my bags strap. My heart hurts, I want to be with them. But every time I watch I always think I’m interrupting and I shouldn’t be there. I’m sure whatever Sasuke has to tell me can wait.

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