Not Yours to Keep

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Chapter 2

Every step I took up the stairs made me more nervous. I knew, once I got to the top, what lay behind these doors. And I'm sure they knew what lay on this side.

They were wolves. No doubt about it. I could smell them. I could sense them.

Celeste opened the door and ushered me into the room.

Now, I knew there was wolves in here, but I didn't know that there were this many.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirte-

"She looks scared." One of them chuckled.

"She has good reason to be. What's your name, little kitten?" I cringed at the name he called me. That's what they used to call me anytime I'd misbehaved or displeased them. They would call me that, then they took pleasure in my torture. In my screams.

One of them started talking and I jumped, "Hello? Are you mute? We asked you a question."

"Uhm, uh, you can call me Black Widow." I finally got out.

"No. I want your real name." I heard a deep voice say on one of the back couches.

It was dark, but I could tell. That was the man who found me in the woods. I involuntarily took a step back.

All of the wolves here were big and muscular and tall, but he stood over them all.

"You.. you. It was you. You helped me in the woods. Why?" Nobody helps someone unless they want something in return.

Completely ignoring my question, he asks, "What's your name?"

"I'm not answering you until you answer me." I stated, less firmly then I would've liked.

He got up from his couch and started walking towards me.

Panic mode!

"Wh- what are you doing?"I asked, shakily. He kept walking without answering my question. I put my arms up in front of me, realizing my body hurts from putting so much strain on it whilst running with my fresh new beating I had received for running a few days before. I hate whips.

With my arms straining to stay in between us, I said, "Stay away from me, don't come near me."

But he just kept walking. I squeezed my eyes shut. I thought I was going to cry, before he stopped about four feet in front of me. "Why do you cower in fear? All I wanted was your name."

I opened my eyes to see that he was slowly taking steps closer to me. I started walking backwards with my arms still up in between us - not that it would do anything anyways, he could overpower me in a second if he so pleased, and we both knew it - while saying "Katerina. That's my name. Katerina Riverz."

He stopped, "See, that wasn't so hard. Now we can get to more difficult matters, Kateri-"

"Please don't call me that.." I said, barely over a whisper.

He looked confused for a moment before asking, "Why not?"

Tears started to fall down me cheeks. "You saw what he did to me in the forest. We both know you don't want me up here to dance. You- You're a-" I swallowed the lump in my throat, and croaked out, "a wolf."

"Right to formalities, I see. I was only trying to make this easier for you, but I suppose." He started walking again. And so did I.

"Wha- what are you doing?" I asked again.

"You know, I thought I smelt a foreign wolf in the bar, earlier. Then I saw you dancing, and I knew who my culprit was immediately." He started taking bigger strides, and I started to take quicker steps, before I knocked the wind out of myself, hitting a wall. He stopped as soon as I did. About three feet in front of me this time.

"I have some questions for you, and your going to answer them truthfully." He started again.

"No. No, I want to leave." I muttered, starting to let the tears fall again.

"You can leave after I get my answers."

"What if I don't answer you?"

"Then I guess you'll get to meet my interrogators. I have two different types of interrogators. Depending on how you answer to the first, you won't have to meet the second."

I was all too afraid that I knew what he meant. We had two interrogators at my old pack, too. One of them provided you with false comfort to try to get you to answer. If that didn't work, you got to meet the second. He was not so nice. I was more terrified of the first one. With his pack I would be beaten for answers first, and then the comforter would come. I could resist a beating. I could only fight the comforter for so long.

He must have saw the look of fear in my eyes because he simply said, "But if you answer me now, that won't be necessary." He looked at me expectantly. But I shook my head. He couldn't know about my past. He sighed, "Nick, Xander. Your turn, I guess." He walked back over to the coach he sat at, while two other wolves started walking towards me.

I could not let them touch me.

I screamed, "HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!" The sound was muffled by somebody's hand on my mouth. I couldn't fight him. He had a hand covering my mouth, and his other arm was around my torso, trapping both of my arms. I didn't even see him move. But he trapped me in less then a second.

I kicked and struggled. Throwing my body around to no avail. Nobody said a word while I tried to get away from him. It wasn't one of the interrogators because they were both standing in front of me. And it wasn't to man who found me in the woods - who I presumed to be the alpha - because he was still sitting on the couch at the other side if the room. I tried biting the man who held me, but his grip around my jaw prevented me from opening my mouth again.

I decided, even if it was muffled, people had to hear my cries and screams for help. So I tried once more, screaming from the back of my throat. It worked, even though it was muffled. But I wasn't sure if anybody could hear me. I screamed again, resuming my fighting and kicking and bucking. Until I heard a low growl in my ear. "Stop it. Before you hurt yourself. I'm stronger than you."

I didn't listen. I started crying, and I'd probably be sobbing if he didn't have hold of my mouth. I shook my head as best I could, and started again. Kicking and throwing my body around as much as possible, if only to tire him out enough for me to slip out and run.

I soon learned that I would become much more tired than him, much faster. So instead of saving my energy like a normal person, I screamed louder, I kicked faster, and I threw my body around harder. After probably 10 minutes of him telling me to stop and me disobeying him, I went limp. Not strong enough to even move anymore. "Are you done? Or do I need to keep you here all night?" The truth is I probably couldn't even stand up if he put me back on my feet.

I did the only thing I could to reply, simply shook my head as his grip eased up on my mouth.

Instead of putting me down, he simply sat down and adjusted me on his lap. I thought he would let me go. But he just let go of my mouth, still not letting my body move.

Adrenaline is a wierd thing. My body hurt when I was fighting, but now, just sitting here, it feels like somebody is holding a hot poker to my back. My arms and legs were numb, but my back... I started to groan in pain and he simply got ready to cover my mouth again. He didn't realise he was hurting me.

"Please.. let go.. my back.." Was all I could get out.

He paused and lifted me off of him and set me down so I was kneeling with my back facing towards him. I curled up as to ease the pain in my back, but in my position, I knew, as soon as he lifted my shawl to see my back, the entire group of wolves in the room got a glance.

I didn't want them to see. Now they'll have even more questions that I don't want to answer. But I couldn't fight him. He was too strong and I was far too weak, at the moment.

He touched my back just barely, but it hurt so bad. I cried out in pain, but he touched another area and I cried out again. I tried to sit up so the whole room wouldn't be able to see, but he then said, "Lie down."

I whimpered. I didn't want to do this. My hands were squeezed into fists as to stop myself from shaking. "No. I won't do it."

He sighed, "If you don't, I'll do it for you. And I'm not promising it wont hurt."

I shook my head, pleading with him. "Please," I begged, "Don't make me. I don't want you all to see it."

He sighed, again. He said nothing, as he grabbed the inside of my knees, and pulled them out from underneath me, and then he took my biceps and eased me off of my elbows.

I was splayed out, for all to see. I couldn't stand it. I tried to pull myself up again. But he put his hand on my back as a warning, and I cried out again.

"Elijah, do not purposely hurt her if she has not done anything wrong." I heard the Alpha say.

"Liam, she has disobeyed me more times in the last 15 minutes, than I've been disobeyed in my entire life." I heard the wolf called Elijah reply.

"She is just trying to protect herself. Let it go." Liam - the alpha - replied back.

"Ugh. Fine, you're right. She needs a doctor. Get Miles."

My eyes shot open at that. "No! No doctors!" I pleaded as I pushed through the pain to bring myself up to my feet. They just watched me freak out, not saying or doing anything. I pulled my shawl down and braced myself on the wall. "No.." I said raising one hand from the wall to put distance in between me and the group of wolves.

I remember how they used to give me checkups. They stripped me in front of the whole pack, humiliating me. They would give me medicine that made it hard to move, hard to fight, hard to scream. And they would cut into my skin, telling me I needed it. Let me suffer through days or weeks with infection, to dump me in a bath of alcohol to fix it.

"No doctors..." I pleaded once more.

They said nothing to me. But Liam made a phone call. "Yes. The bar. We've got a patient. See you soon, Miles."

He ended the call and my eyes went wide. Miles. That's who Elijah said the doctor was. Liam said he had a patient.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

I started to hyperventilate. I slid back to the floor, my back aching more than ever.

I can't do this. I can't do it. Then, the one I think is Nick, came up to me and grabbed hold of my upper arm. I know what he's doing. He's the comforter.

"NO!!! LET GO OF ME!!!"I screamed at the top of my lungs, only to feel another person sit next to me at the speed of lightning and take one of his hands to grasp the back if my neck, and take the other to cover my mouth.

"Not a good idea." I heard him say. He was the other interrogator. Xander. He was supposed to be the one that tortures and gives beatings, but his hold on me was surprisingly not as rough as I would've expected.

I slowly felt like I was starting to be calm. I didn't feel the need to run away. I didn't feel the need to fight or scream. It felt nice.

Then I remembered. No! I started struggling to get out of the grasp of the two men that held me. I only stopped when I heard the door to the VIP lounge open.

Somebody could help me! I started screaming through the muffled hand as to get there attention.

I got there attention all right. But it wasn't until he shut the door that I realised nobody would help me.

My blood went cold, my heart started pounding out if my chest. It was the doctor. Miles. I know it. He walked over to me, crouched down as to get a better look, while I stared wide-eyed at him.

He stood up and turned to Liam. "Is this my patient?"

"Yes."

I started crying, and struggling again. I tried so hard to fight the comforter. Then he just let go. Along with the other man that was holding me.

Miles came over to me, crouched down once more, and asked, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Nothing. Get away from me." I said, still letting the tears run down my face.

Another wolf spoke up, "Her back is probably the worst. But you should give her a thorough checkup, anyways. I'm sure there are other problems."

"Thank you, Jacob" he said.

Thorough checkup?

"No. No. No. No. No. Stay away from me." I sobbed, unsteadily standing back up. I put my arm up again. "Please..." I begged.

"I need a private space." Miles stated, standing up, "I refuse to do this in front of a pack of wolves that look at her like she's the next meal."

That did nothing to make me feel better. One wolf is plenty enough people to be able to make me suffer.

Liam stood up. He walked over to Miles and told him something I couldn't make out. Miles nodded. Miles then went to the far corner of the room motioning for me to follow him. Even if I could walk, I wouldn't.

"She can't walk. She wouldn't stop fighting us and overexherted herself." I heard Elijah say.

Miles frowned, "What were you doing to her to make her need to fight you."

Liam stated, "I just wanted to know her name, and she freaked out. I saw her in the woods last night being manhandled by another wolf, so I wanted to know the name of the girl I saved. I later learned that she is a wolf, probably from the pack the stray wolf belonged to, and decided I wanted to ask her a few questions. But then, she freaked out again and started screaming, so we had to restrain her and she refused to stop fighting."

"Hm, well, did you find out her name?"

"It's Katerina."

I winced at the name. The name my parents gave me. The name my parents died for. The name that was used as I was beaten countless times.

"But she doesn't like that name."

"Well then, what should I call you?" Miles asked, returning his attention to me.

"Kat.." I whispered. If it weren't for their wolf hearing, there is no way that it would've been audible to them.

"Alright Kat, unless you want to do this in front of an entire wolf pack, your going to let one of them carry you. Do you understand?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to have this checkup at all.

He sighed. "Alright, in front of everybody it is."

My eyes went wide again "Wait!" I croaked "Let me try to walk," and then added, "please."

"No." I turned around and faced Liam.

"Why not?" I asked, nervously.

"Because I said so." He stated as he placed one hand under my knees, and one on my back.

I cried out. Louder than the last times.

He just looked at me and said, "Sorry, but it needs to be done."

As much as I hated myself for doing it, I wrapped my hands around his shoulders as to ease the pain on my back.

He set me down in the corner of the room, near the doctor.

Miles pulled a curtain out to separate a small portion of the room from the rest of it.

When he stepped towards me, I instinctively stepped back and hit Liam. I hadn't realized he stayed inside the closed off area.

Miles calmly smiled at me, "I can't help you if you don't trust me."

"I don't want your help." I said plainly, maybe if I kept fighting, they would give in. I doubted it, they made a game out of my defiances.

Liam calmly grabbed my arms, "If you keep resisting, you're going to be restrained." Then, he let go and stepped to the side.

I shuddered at his words.

Miles stepped towards me again, and I involuntarily took another step back. "I'm sorry..." I whimpered "I can't help it..."

A flash of annoyance flared in his eyes, but only for a second. It still made me freeze in fear. He smiled at me again. When they smile, it only makes me feel all the more uneasy.

I closed my eyes so my body wouldn't keep moving on it's own accord after he stepped towards me.

I felt his hand touch my arm and I jumped while my eyes shot open. Though, he had hold of my arm so I couldn't back away.

He frowned at my arm. "Liam, could you get the alcohol out of my bag, and the bandages." He said, still looking at me.

My eyes went even wider, "Wha- Why?" I stuttered.

"Because of the makeup covering your body." He said simply.

Wait. They looked at my back and they saw all the cuts and other marks. But that was covered with makeup, too. How did they see it?

Liam must have seen my confusion because he explained, "It's still on your back, but it's hard to cover up indents and scars in your skin, especially when you're looking for them."

I only nodded. Everyone out in the lounge could see my marks of abuse. They could see my scars. The makeup artist lied to me.

Then I heard him start again, "However, they were hidden exceptionally well. None of us probably would have noticed if you weren't in so much pain."

I relaxed, if only a tiny bit.

That faded immediately as Miles grabbed the alcohol and wipes and bandages.

I'm pretty sure I just turned ghost white.

"Will it hurt?" I croaked, barely audible.

He gave me a serious look for the first time all night.

I hadn't realised I was so short compared to all of them. The top of my head reached only to his shoulders, and they were similar heights, aside from Liam, who was taller than them.

I returned my focus to Miles' serious look.

I was scared. They would hold my body underneath the alcohol. Make me soak in it. To fix what they broke. It burned.

"Listen, I know you've been through hell. I believe that you can get through this, if you just put a little faith in me.

I nodded slowly, noticing that he avoided my question. It's going to hurt.

He gestured for me to sit down in a chair. I did.

He put the alcohol on the wipes, and he started to clean out the wounds on my arms. It did hurt. Enough to bring tears to my eyes. I choked back a sob.

He finished my arms, "I need you to remove your shorts for me."

I know that they all saw me in my underwear when I was dancing, but now they were going to see me. The real me. The beaten, bruised, broken, little girl.

Slowly, I complied, Miles gripping my arm to support me so I didn't fall. It hurt to touch, but it would probably hurt more if I fell, so I let him hold me without fighting.

I winced as he touched the alcohol to the back of my upper thigh. I had to grab the chair to brace myself. I'm positive they heard my muffled cries.

I haven't cried in front of people in such a long time because I was punished for it when I was with them.

He finally finished my legs, and I hurried to put my clothes back on.

Now came the part I was dreading. I knew they would still make me do my back. That was the worst part of my body, and they all knew it.

"Lift your shirt," Miles said, still calm as ever.

"No." I said, shaking my head, vigorously.

Liam walked towards me, making me take a step back. And another. And another. Until I hit somebody from behind. And it wasn't Miles.

"Thank you, Jacob," said Liam, gripping my upper arms with his huge hands.

Jacob didn't respond, only sat and watched as I struggled to get out of his grip.

Liam didn't show one sign of letting me go. In fact he sat down on the floor and did what his friend... um Elijah, did earlier. Sending shockwaves of pain through my back and other parts of my body, as well.

I cried but did not give in. I know what he's doing. He's trying to force me to submit to him. I won't.

He squeezed me tighter, causing my breath to catch in my throat. The pain radiating through my body caused me to start seeing black dots. I rose and fell in and out of consciousness.

After what was probably not a very long amount of time, I was placed on my stomach, not able to move, and my shirt was pulled off my body.

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