CHAPTER 3: PRETTY LIES AND UGLY TRUTHS
I sighed heavily when we reached at our gate, not so much had changed, five months in the asylum now finally back home "Are you ready dear?" Asked mom, I took a deep breath and nodded my head as she opened the door. "Surprise!" those were the first words I heard
Oh my! Everybody was there! Including Lydia.
"Lydia! Oh my God what are you going here?" I asked happily surprised
"Well I got tired of that cold place and also heard what happened from Eddy so i took the earliest flight back here" she answered welcoming me with a hug. I winced inwardly from the pain caused by the chains. Joan was also there who jumped at me excitedly "Anna you are back!" she chirped
"Hey Jojo, I missed you" I give her a peck on the forhead.
We enjoySeriously? Couldn't he give me even just a day to enjoy this moment with my family before showing his ugly face? I know I said ugly but dah, they say love is blind. When I was in love with him, he was the handsome man I had ever seen but now that I hate him, he is ugly! Yes, like an oga and don't you dare argue with me! And its because I hate him with Every. Single. Fiber, In my being.ed the meal with laughter and smile,
Damn! I almost forgot what this felt like but I was too scared to smile, scared to be happy fully, I knew my hell wasn't over yet
"So bess, what happened? I mean why the sudden break down?" Lydia asked and then boom! Twilight showed up.
I gritted my teeth while I gave him an angry look. All over a sudden I realized that it was quite. When I looked around everybody was eying me suspiciously.
"She is right, what happened my beloved?" he said cunningly. Suddenly the chains lightened themselves again "Surprise! Am back, but am too tired to join you in your little celebration, I will go upstairs to rest but you will have to come with me" forcing myself not to hurl profanities, I took a deep breath, then gripped, Lydia's trouser nervously. "Twili...." I started
"Oops don't say a thing or they might take you back to the asylum, say nothing to either of them, just get up and come" he ordered playfully. Getting up, I excused up myself, lying that I was tired and needed to rest for a bit in my room. My mother ran after me trying to find out what happened "Anna! Open up the door, let's talk" she called out
"Get rid of her" commanded Twilight.
"Another time mom am too tired now!" I said slowly, tears welling down my cheeks I had to push them away for now so that Twilight won't hurt them. Now that I was getting better I knew that he will even enjoy torturing me.
Days past by and he started messing with my head that made me restless, I felt like I was fighting an a diction, my blood boiling up. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I yelled, sometimes I just stared, I could hear mom crying on the other side of the door, Eddy drowning himself in alcohol, Joan comforting them, I could see my dad punching the wall and hating himself for being so helpless.
I never wanted them to know that I wasn't better, but Twilight had his own way. He was so sure that they won't take me back to the Asylum knowing that it did me no good before. I kept screaming in my sleep and every time mom and dad would rush into my bedroom to calm me down. When they thought I was asleep again, they went back to their room only for Twilight to arrive again.
It was like a cycle. I guess it reached a point where it felt normal. Twilight torturing me, me screaming and my parents rushing into my room. I felt guilty that I had to tell them not to bother anymore.
That it was just a face and it would pass, but they didn't listen. I had to start finding ways on how to make myself busy so that I wouldn't fall asleep. Sometimes even Lydia would come for sleep over to keep me company but I wouldn't doze. I kept looking for the medicine I used to take earlier but were nowhere to be found.
Seemed like they learnt from the last episode. I came to realize that sometimes in life, money cannot solve all the problems. Despite us being rich, there was nothing they could have done. I mean my parents were millionaires but now, their money felt like useless papers
My mom was slowly falling into depression until one day as I was passing through the study when I heard her speak to her therapist, I felt so Broken when I heard how she was talking like she was actually reciting a poem, she said
I could no longer take it, I ran quickly to my bedroom, I locked the door and broke down in bitter sobs. "All this is my faults" I cried
"God please enough have mercy on me," I continued feeling so helpless.
By the way, when was the last I prayed? I couldn't remember.
I fell down on my knees. We were never a spiritual family, to begin with.
When was the last time I went to church? I think it was a wedding. Yes! Aunty Mary's wedding.
When nobody can help you in world, turn to God
The word just popped in my head.
Who said that?
I tried to wreck my mind trying to remember who said the words but I couldn't remember. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to get rid of my surroundings. To empty my brain so that I could feel his presence.
"God" I started
" I am so ashamed that am thinking of you now when everything is falling apart. That I waited this long to seek your presence, please forgive me for neglecting you. I know that I don't deserve seeking your presence. I have no one else to turn to, nobody can help me because I can't tell them what is really happening. But you God, you already know my problem and everything am going through. Help me God, help me be strong and help me that at the end I emerge as a winner. Amen"
I opened my eyes and didn't even realize that I was crying. Just like that, I felt like that the world I was carrying on my shoulder, was lifted.
I was in the verge of giving up but all over sudden I felt there was hope.
I felt lighter.
God was now on my side and I was sure that he won't abandon me.
If mom was ready to take my place then whatever Twilight would throw at me, I would take it with silence, no matter how much pain it will inflict on me, I would have to endure it. No more crying.
That night, I slept peacefully without dreaming. All I know was that I woke up still on my knees, supporting myself with the bed. The day went by uneventful. Twilight nowhere to be seen. I wondered what had happen. I rushed downstairs hugging my mom from behind who was preparing breakfast,
"Morning mom" I smiled hugging her from behind.
She gasped and turn around quickly looking at me like I have just came back from the dead.
"Morning sweary, hi" she said back looking surprised
"Hey, what's for breakfast, am famished! Smells nice!" I chirped opening the lid
"ah...mmmh, what would you like?" she asked cocking her eye brow
"Toast bread, with an Apple!" I said excitedly
"huh? Toast bread? With an apple? You do know that you don't eat eggs right?"
"Hello family am here!" Lydia entered hoping inside the house but froze when she saw me.
"Anna? Is that you?" she asked surprised
"Who else but me in flesh? You know, best friend who shares every tiny little details with you!" she looked at me speechless
"Even the dirty little one" I whispered at her then chuckled
"oh, okay! The weather has changed!" she exclaimed looking at my mom with 'what's happening'.
I turned to the half fried toast bread and sighed "Look at this, it looks yummy and so inviting but so deceiving to the eye. It's sweet in the mouth but once I eat it, will destroys my stomach. I will be in pain, I will feel like my world is burning up" I said putting on a sad face then sighed again "That's when you learn, that all that glitters isn't exactly gold right?" I grinned at Lydia patting her shoulder.
I was about to go to my room, when Lydia held my arm "Lydia!" I looked at her surprised "What's happening to you? You lock yourself all day and night inside your room. You scream at night, hurt yourself then out of the blue you show up today, asking for a toast bread which you don't eat then talk in riddles. What do you expect us to feel?" a tear escaped her eyes while mom kept silent
"Am so sorry, if you think that way, but riddles are meant to be solved right?" I winked at her then freed my arm heading towards my room. On my way up, I could hear Lydia asking my mom to call Eddy and dad, while she was going to sort out something. Locking the door behind, my worst fear, stood in front of me
"Missed me?" He said with an evil grin.