5. Serenity in your Solace
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Happy and Blessed Holidays!
“People are guests in our story, the same way we are guests in theirs. But we all meet each other for a reason because every person is a personal lesson waiting to be told.”
― lauren klarfeld
Coming back to the place, where my heart and soul belongs,
In between people who’ve become a part of my life,
Who would have thought I’ll be lost, utterly stupefied and upset.
Not once the thought to return cross my mine, despite the earnest desires of my soul,
calling out for someone, I pushed myself to believe, returning is not an option.
But then, life was prepared to surprise me,
And here I’m.
In the place which comes as my solace in dreams, but I forbid myself to desire for.
In between people, my people, around Someone!
The rustling of wind sends me smile, welcoming me into the warmth of nature; the air has its ethereal scent which brings tranquility to senses, I know, it can be here only. Everything here is magical, because the sincerity of life resides here.
“Still astonished by the view?” I turn, the smile blossoming on my face takes a wider turn.
Fergal smirks in his decent warm manner, behind him is my brother, quiet and calm like an ocean with no waves; but I know, there is going so much in this calm, a turmoil of emotions is crashing through his edges. It’s in his eyes, quiet eyes, just like mine. We look at each other, I’m aware of Fergal’s assessing eyes, quieting witnessing the enfolding scenario.
I itched to reach him, his warmth and care cradled me in cherished wings; leaving, I missed our bickering, our kitchen time, our quarrels on turns of food, our glaring encounters; I missed those warm caresses, his worried glances, those deceiving harsh words after my delinquent encounters with peril.
Moments like sprinkles of misty water splashing in the meadows of heart, I take step and he reaches for me; I afford a smile but he stands mute like a mannequin. Wetness drapes curtain on my eyes, before I take another step, falling in his embrace. My brother holds me saving my fall, like always, he proved my trust, I hear my own muffled weeps while he caresses my scalp.
Just like always!
I let out my emotions but he remains quiet, saying nothing, offering nothing. From our embrace, I look up and notice the shadow of tears on the corner.
I couldn’t hold anymore and cried louder.
Still in his embrace, I shake my head; the sudden wave of change, despite being so hidden, I caught and chose to explain, “You miss those you forget, you’ll had been on my mind always. I had you’ll in my heart.”
I find my smile in his hearty chuckle as he pats my head again and Fergal comments, “Still a charmer.”
“Welcome Lun—Miss. William!” from my brother’s shoulder, I peek at the audience finding a bowing Mr. McCoy.
I sigh, and we’re back for bowing formalities!
However, my brother doesn’t give me time to response as he growls softly, tightening his hold on my shoulder, from my peripheral view, I notice Fergal’s stance straightened as well.
I chuckle at the drained face of McCoy before pulling away.
I turn to Fergal, he gives an awkward side hug, before facing them back, “Still not in friend zone?”
“Never in this life.” My brother grumbles softly; his voice deceiving to be agitated but he couldn’t save his feeble voice from me.
I hide my sadness behind a small smile, exchanging pleasantries.
“Niere? Is—is that reall—ly…is that really you?” I turn, the surprised stuttering, despite the tight throat of mine, made me smile.
A loud gasp escapes the delightful features, and soon realisation settles.
And I take a step, then another; knowing she’ll need time to revive from shock.
Wet surprised eyes, head shakes, “Mahriyah dear! Come say, Mah—ri—yah!”
Despite the cascading tear of my cheek, I let the giggle spill before tacking her into a hug.
“Yes…yes Mrs. Mahri—yah. I missed you.”
“Awe! I missed you too sweetie, so very much.” She whispers to my ears, caressing my head.
I smile through the tears, settling myself in her warm embrace.
I pull away to take a closer look of her face; once grinning eyes, now smiling through tears, her delightful features still remain the same, only a shadow of sadness lurking there on her twinkling eyes.
“Let’s go home, shall we?” I nod at Fergal’s mumble turning back to Mrs. Mahri—yah.
I wipe her tears, before taking her arms into mine, I pull her with me as we continue to walk toward the home.
The serenity of the wind entices me in its charm, peace blended in beauty is offered in the deserted road. Although, I know the path is long, I’m glad, they chose to escort me to the entrance.
My smile and musing over the area continue, until it halts and the reason declares its presence when Mrs. Mahri—yah stiffens, the usual warm body suddenly turns cold. She staggers a step back before looking above at the sky, she grunts.
Confusion blended in startled shock, I could only watch before Jerry separates us, pulling me beside him.
Their gaze twinkle in alertness before Fergal offering a quiet nod, rushes toward the opposite direction, into the dense woods. A few howls resonate behind and I bet he must’ve been shifted into his beast.
Frantically, I look around, the howls continue occasionally, fear crept down my spine, I clutch into Jerry’s arm and he slips in closer me.
Reluctance to answer was clear, yet they answer and that answer took away my breath.
The moment I step in, the same tinkles of warms in air engulf me, like welcoming me as their own, I felt peace and relief like one feel reaching home and nothing but a smile of delight meets me, warms me like awaiting me to breath in this majestic land.
“Do you really want to—”
I smile at Mrs. Mahriy—ah as I turn to the delightful lady, whose features have turned anxious in my worry.
“I’ll be alright. I just like—I’ll be fine.” I mumble, unable to ease up her worry through my consoling. The fact is, she is worried for my safely; I can’t blame her for my past experiences. Yet she needs to leave me alone.
After a deep dive in my eyes, she must have got a feeling of my determination, so defeated, she sighs, “Alright. but be careful, scream, if you get into any danger, guards are around, so am I. okay?”
I pass a wavering smile at her concern which falters when my gaze collides the intense aura of the woods.
I know it’s risky, I might break another law, perhaps, I won’t be favored like past experiences, yet I can’t help but take my chance.
I need to meet him, face him and his rage.
Only then, I’ll be able to face myself.
I’m the reason of his bitterness, I broke my promise and I’ll mend him, his bitterness, I’ll bear, if I can’t heal.
The dark lurking in the shadows of trees come to cover me; almost taking away the fact that the day is still ruling over trees. Woods have taken away the rule from light; like ruling their own lands, on their own turns.
The mighty Woods!
Curiosity peeking from the shadows of anxious fear; I roam my gaze around, hoping for a miracle, my miracle to meet me.
The dry twigs and branches crushing under me as I walk, quite similar to my thundering chest nestling hope.
I need to meet him.
I walk deeper, Forest swallows me whole as I continue to walk deeper and denser regions; the incessant warnings from the beginning rush to my mind; along with the different encounters imprinted in my chest. A few gasps, tears, fears, smiles, solace and trust; all the element of life, I’ve been graced with in the custody of Woods, the trees, the breeze, the soil and sky are witnesses and my heart.
My desperate aimless steps falter; a sudden gust of scented wind rush past me, I’m felt breathless against it. Taking the support of the thick aged tree beside; I let my gaze roam, the scent is wild and so much familiar.
The realization settles a new breath in me; Miracle!
With another flutter in my chest, I leap with a new zeal until I reach to the outline of a known bulgy figure, shielded in the safety of huge trees; I smile; Woods don’t protect him, instead, he is the Protector of all.
His warning growl resonates in the surroundings, a shiver escapes my body—his indication, he is aware of the intruder, he used to trust, he used to interact.
With a leap of faith; I take a step forward, silence prevails in the depth of woods—between us, then another. Cautious, a feeling, I never associated with him, now, I feel daunting in some corner of my mind.
His eyes melting the tree trunk; I sigh at the sight of his lustrous fur-coated back.
Majestic Creature of mine!
A strange yet welcoming warmth surges into me; calling him mine.
I close my eyes; restricting the tears, trying a itching leakage.
A strange whisper rings in the air, it took me time to recognize as mine.
A growl shakes the land beneath us and my eyes open.
The warm liquid of chocolate browns staring at me, a gasp escapes my lips.
After all this time, home has knocked at my door! I’m finally at peace.
Happy tears brimming, and I smile.
Instincts guiding me, I take a step ahead.
But the castle of sand, perhaps I built too soon; a snarl from his smouldering gaze slips, before he moves making distance between us.
My heart wrenches at the dread coming to wash over; I choose to follow him but still.
A soft almost like nothing whip touches me; I turn cowering away when I notice a huge wolf is staring at me. The grey spark of eyes seems so familiar yet so different; after all, this is the first time, I’m meeting his beast.
His snout almost pushed me away, shaking my head, I plead him. But a reluctant denial looming in his apologetic gaze. My eyes snap back at Miracle’s way, finding a cold emptiness, where his warm figure was, a few moments ago.
“He left.” I mumble losing my hope along with my energy.
The faith rushing in my veins turned water.
The wolf of my friend makes a soft noise before coming to stand in my way; hiding the spot where Miracle was.
My head shoots up, between the submitting silence of wild, the voice of authority rings crystal clear.
Alpha walks his way from the trees—towards me. Beside me, Fergal’s beast’s bows, his snout touching the mud before it moves back and left.
There is no accusation in his tone, so simple almost impassive yet it hurts, like thorns infested in poison. His tone—his heart isn’t blaming me.
The brown glitters in the gold of his eyes; my eyes widen, it’s Miracle taking command.
“You left, why?”
Although, a husky whisper yet I shiver; it left an effect, like always.
Where Gideon was quiet, Miracle wants to know my reason, where Gideon was quiet, Miracle is communicating…expressing!
I gulp, I can lie to the world, fool myself; anything apart from truth, I know you’ll catch me.
From his intense soul piercing gaze, I look down under overwhelming guilt, “Because I had to go.”
Someday or other, I had to leave.
Serenity of nature in the retiring day accompanies us in silence as we both seems lost with each other. In each other.
“Then why come back?”
Why I came back? Sanity had asked the same and heart had only one answer.
“Because I couldn’t stay away.”
I left leaving so much behind; like a part of mine was left behind with the people here; I left myself here taking them in my heart. Taking someone in my heart, taking his part in my chest, losing myself in his shadows!
Staring at his warm brown eyes, I can’t bring myself to speak because I might only say things I would regret later. But I can’t fill the void that follows. Instead, I smile.
An annoying snarl meets my smile, I know I’ve vexed Miracle.
“Why not waited for our return?” his mumble, so soft yet the richness seep into my soul.
Despite all efforts, a sigh escapes my lips, the weight of my feelings lowers my gaze, “I was afraid, then I might never be able to leave.”
There, I confessed.
Leaving in your absence was the only way; with you around my desires are mighty, my heart is stronger than sanity. I couldn’t make a decision of—
Gideon heaves out a sigh of his own; staring at him; I realize, he is only in his pants, his chest bear in its golden glory. Suddenly, I’m hyperventilating, a glow of embarrassed blush appears on my skin.
So, he shifted from his beast form to speak!
Silence prevails, even the soft rustling of trees has stopped like submitting in the meet of Miracle; however, it isn’t alone, it brings the piled-up thoughts, which almost I forgot having him in front of me. My heart falls into my stomach.
I look back at him; lost in his own thoughts, his stare on me like a fireball and I can’t help but feel like a lunatic moth.
Gideon, how shall I apologize, tell me, what should I do for you to forgive me? For my deeds—
Wide eyes snap up to his furious ones, before shrinking in confusion.
Miracle takes a step ahead, “You apologize when you do wrong. Nothing is wrong when you take your decision, choosing what you think is right; you followed your conscience.”
“How following your conscience can be wrong? You should never regret your decisions.”
Did I say that loud?
Gideon shakes his head, “We don’t need words, Miracle.”
A soft shudder in my chest shakes me before I’m falling into embrace of eccentricity.
For the surprise of my face, he honors me with his charming heart melting smile.
Although, words have done the work, the warmth of eyes has come back; yet I can see. However, he tries, the dull ache of sorrow is peeping behind his smiling orbs, the strong beating of his heart mirroring mine; telling me the reality of his heart. A sorrowful sigh slips me, as I return his pleasant smile; trying to hold back my guilt, that I know he can see right through my soul. We both are trying to comfort other, yet unable to rise from the buried sadness within us.
And I realize another truth:
Taking other’s pain and offering them smiles, all our life; I don’t know when we become so miserable. The sorrow has engulfed us like a blanket where a ray of hope seems like brisk of crisp cool breeze. I’m afraid, this sorrow may bury us deep in agony, I’m afraid, we’ll make it our life.
No, no! I can’t let it!
I can’t allow misery to rule our life!
Gideon won’t be miserable. He won’t make agony his life, he has suffered for a lifetime, now, it’s his moment to smile.
And my love isn’t shackle of sadness’s imprisonment. It’s the beauty of my breath, I’ll rejoice and live until my hopes wither and ashes remain.
I’ll make us both live, and smile.
Misery of life has to leave!
December 24, 2020
And they met. Sharing the smiles and sorrow, they made the promises to make other’s life better.
He knows her better than her, she will make his future brighter!
Miracles awaiting the hustles of fate…now are together to face the will of Destiny!
What awaits next? Let’s muse while we celebrate.
Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this Christmas Treat.
What’s your view? Let me know your views.
Happy Winters, happy Holidays and wish you a bright future ahead!