6. Retaliating the vows of Unrequited Love
When one has an urge to say something but wouldn’t quite know ‘what’ & ‘how’ .. it is better to let it remain unsaid.”
― Neena Verma
Where is the wind that promised the mist of calm,
I feel scorches of burns awaking again;
Where is the pond of memories which promised me the illusions of joy,
Now, I feel alone in the desert of reality,
Can time take mercy upon me,
Can I be blessed again and feel the touch of life, even for a mere moment!
Looking behind, I often realized, what seems to be so tough and difficult to face, I did tackle it well; if not easy, all problems somewhat had been manageable, some weren’t, and I got help, easily, sometimes with a little push; eventually, situations or people were managed. With my little experience in life, I can say, whatever comes your way, may look huge like an never ending puzzle and hustle has a reason and surely has a solution, which you can find by taking courage and not dragging yourself away in fear and anxiety. If not today, it’ll end tomorrow, if not tomorrow maybe any other day, but of you won’t try, it might stand right beside you, holding you back from progress.
“You’re lost again.” I turn at the statement from my brother, driving in the road cutting through the mighty woods, his stance is at ease, sure he has his experience speaking.
Focusing on his words, I smile before glancing back at the passing trees shimmering under the golden light and blue sky, “Am I?”
Jerry sighs instead, “Niera, I hope you remember what I’ve said earlier, you aren’t alone, you can always share your worries.”
My smile falters, I nod, “I remember Jerry. There is nothing to worry. I was just admiring the view.”
I grin, “One can’t get enough of it.”
For my lame response he remains quiet, driving swiftly through the concrete toughing the greens of Forest.
For a moment I debated, last night and Tiara’s words still ringing in my mind, her mood was same jovial in morning, leaping and weeping when she saw me getting ready, and only calmed when I promised to be back with Daada in evening; not a single glimpse of what had happened at night was lurking in her features, perhaps, she had vented out her anger and disappointment, perhaps there was another reason.
“Is something wrong on my face?” Jerry’s fidgeting breaks my trance, I purse my lips thin, realizing I’d been staring at his face.
I face palm, shaking my head, “Jerry, I was wondering, is it a good idea; coming back and joining A V Inc.?”
My brother regards my anxiety, he can see right through my calm façade, and smiles, “When did you start calculating your moves Niera…?”
His gaze concentrates on the road, “However, no one can tell you that, the future is determined by your present, and you’re here already, and on the way to reach A V Inc..” he smiles, softly bowing at the mention.
I wish I could tell, what seems right and valid, now looks utterly wrong stupid!
I close my eyes, Tiara’s words and Gideon distant eyes on our encounter pierce my heart, “You’re worried over Tiara’s words.”
Relief from closing my eyes flee instantly, I snap my gaze at him, was he listening?
Of course! Supernatural perks!
“Tiara is child, Niera, she doesn’t even know…I’m sorry on her behalf, I truly am—”
I place my palm over his on the steering wheel, he stiffens; choosing to retreat it, I mumble, “Jerry! Please, I’m not hurt by her words. I was just thinking about it, that’s all.”
For a long silence prevailing between us, I lost my hope to find answer, “Jerr—”
“All your asking questions, is it curiosity or mere an attempt to dodge answers you don’t wish to speak.”
I fell into silence as he slows down, and I realize we’ve reached our destination, the majestic fortress-like edifice A V Inc., it stands proudly surrounded by the mighty woods but not letting anything else taking its charm; the golden initials of the Kingdom’s Identity, A V still holding the prime place on the crown; magnificent and ruling.
I can’t help but admire it through my eyes and press my mind to focus on my brother.
“No one will ask you if you don’t wish to answer, but Niera, at least be clear with yourself. You seem lost within and finding your answers in us won’t help.”
The car enters through the main gate, making me frown for which my brother casts me a charming smile. We park just in front of the building, brown cobblestone. Turning off the engine, he sits quiet, before his eyes focuses ahead, I couldn’t scowl properly before the gate of my side opens swiftly, startling me.
I turn only to find the two well-suited security team members bowing at me; one man’s pitch-black hair almost scratching against our car’s door.
Bowing at me? No must be Jerry, has he ascended some title in my absence!
Darn! I missed my Brother’s promotion!
“Welcome back Luna!” a witty well-polished and familiar tone grabs my attention; I sigh before the bulgy men step aside to reveal the bended Mr. McCoy—bowing Mr. McCoy and Mrs. Mahri—yah.
Their posture almost stiff yet comfortable for the smiles on their faces speaking so much, “Mr. McCoy, Mrs. Mah—riyah…!”
“Niere dear, I’m so elated, you’re back.”
Is this royal welcome for me, have they arranged it to welcome me?
“Of course, Sweetie, after all you’re Lu—lovely, our precious Niera.” Mrs. Mahri—yah’s grin settles unease into me.
Mr. McCoy steps ahead but stiffens over an animalistic growl coming from right beside me, I cringe before shooting my brother an annoyed look.
However, Mrs. Eagerly Excited Mahri—yah shove off McCoy before making her way toward me, I wanted to sink into the seat but act otherwise, gracefully sliding down and letting her squeeze me.
“Where are your manners Mrs. Dovin? Let her go.”
My squeezed skin admires the comment from McCoy while mouth seals the words.
“She is my friend, she won’t mind.”
The lady grunts in displeasure before letting me go, I smile easing off the situation, looking around, I notice the bowing head of the security men still looking down and stiff.
“Mm! Such a warm gesture. Thank you, guys.”
Mrs. Mahri—yah waves her hand, gargling a soft laughter, “Oh common, it was nothing. We wanted to do more, but couldn’t.”
Jerry finds this time to come and shield me from the bulky men, dispersing them with his gaze, “Let’s get inside, shall we?”
I smile back to my smirking brother; his warmth fills me with relief.
Entering through the main entrance, I feel the sudden change, familiar yet I can’t save myself from the shiver ran through me.
The exquisite lavished interior has next my eyes locked over them, golden illumination giving the hall the beauty of pure gold, the glow and glory suits to be the entrance of Majestic A V Inc.’s office. My gaze travels to the golden Alphabets engrained on the wall, the alphabets, everyone bowed for every mention, every gaze on them. A V rules the air, and despite all efforts to conceal my emotion, her fragile face invades my memory and a wistful smile slips me.
I’m back Alicia!
The lady on the reception now straightened and looking down at ground, almost like she is bowing; for a moment I frown, looking around for the signs of Authority, finding none.
A sigh escapes me, nothing is out of place, this place still holds the magic to take my breath away!
Charmed, I let the enchantment command over us before heading toward the nearest elevator pair.
“Niera!” my brother’s call stops me, allowing me to break free from my automatic mode and turn to him, he smiles at my inquiring face, “You must take the imperial lift.”
I can’t help but frown, imperial elevator, can they not make something normal and ordinary!
“Expecting ordinary in the world of Supernatural?” I flush while others chuckle at Mrs. Mahri—yah’s comment.
Bless my mighty mouth!
The grand golden box seems to be waiting for me, it opens within micro-seconds as Jerry press the call button.
I debated over jumping into it over; crossing the distance of oceans was easy, meeting in the shield of nature was natural, now, I’ll be facing the faces and the queries they hold, can I hold them, what will be my answer.
A hand on my shoulder nearly jostles me, “No matter what your answers are, what matters is your will. Take a leap and embrace it.”
My brother’s words, despite making me scowl, boost me up in confidence; I nod at him, smiling before stepping into the awaiting box.
“Second last floor, Golden Hall.”
I nod at Mr. McCoy as the doors close between us.
Like a symphony of nature, with the elevating box, my anxiety hikes to levels; thoughts which had been chaotic until now, have taken a route of dark corners in murk. I’m lost, confusion creating chaos.
I almost wince at Jerry’s idea of sending me alone, realizing only a second later; how they aren’t allowed to step into that floor unless an important matter needs so.
The lift doesn’t allow me to drown in worry as it splits open, revealing the lavishing scenario of the royal floor, heaving out a sigh, a smile slips me.
“Welcome Luna!” a soft voice greets and my smile turns into a delighted grin.
“Mr. Black!” I squeal, before stepping hastily to reach him; he chuckles softly, light wrinkles forming near his eyes proclaiming his delight.
“How have you been?”
“Fine. Let’s take you to the meeting room. Shall we?”
“Welcome back Bambi!” the elated voice and the special name wrapped in it instantly brings me smile, allowing my unease to rest.
I rush toward him, falling into his welcoming arms, a sense of warmth and peace engulfs me; I know these arms and his smile will always welcome me.
Eyes feel the moisture and closing them, I conceal it; it might be easy for them to forgive me, but I can never forgive myself for hurting their warmth and care.
“I’m so glad to see you back.” He mumbles over my scalp and despite the leaking wetness, I grin.
“I’m glad to be back.” I whisper looking up at his warm eyes and a rogue tear slip.
The Good Doctor shakes his head, “No, sad times are over, happiness is back again.”
Another tear falls for his words, as he wipes the traces of first one. Heart swells in warmth and pride for their unconditional love, I’m blessed to have these people!
With the failed attempt to hold back my tears, I nod.
“Let’s take you inside.” A sudden shudder escapes me.
“Is he inside?” Dr. Baron frowns at my mumble, “He, Majesty?”
I nod looking down at our ascending shadows.
“No, he is not. Majesty is handling a conference with Subsidiaries at home.” My ascending steps halt at the declaration.
The Good Doctor ushers me to walk again, “Sir Gerard is here. I heard you met Sir Gerard, was it—”
“My Office—work place, coincidently we met.”
He nods, a constant look of soft intrigue-ness glows on his sharp features. “Your Boss.”
“Yes, actually Mr. Wilson was the reason we could met.”
Keeping a firm gaze on The Good Doctor, I could find the ease to move ahead, “Wilson…then it is.”
I can only frown at his intrigued tone; is he also an acquainted with my Teacher?
“Seems like I’m.” I bit into my inner cheek as he looks lost at the declaration.
“Bambi, I must leave. I believe, an urgent situation needs me.” And before I know, he is turning and leaving with his smile and a baffled me behind.
I look up, finding the door adorned in gold so close. Jitters bursting under my skin as I reach closer to the golden hall.
Taking a deep breath, I place my hand on the golden knob; the cold surface feels so contradicting against my cold skin.
The doors don’t need me to open them, as they split open; my curious gaze invades the hall before they permission, the sight familiar decors open the dusty lane of memories.
My words break the calm serenity of the hall, from the golden glory the hall exhibits, the Guardian of the Supernatural Realm turns. His eyes calm and composed, a bit of satisfied happiness also gleams behind the sharp demeanour.
I step forward, the charm of the hall almost snatching away my attention; I glance around and smile warmly. The memories wrapped in mist of time comes to visit me in leisure bliss.
“Child, I knew, you’ll come.”
My gaze snaps back at him, his smile twinkling, saying so much in silence, “You knew, I’ll come back.”
Head tilt a little, hoping I can see underneath the mature astuteness, “How were you so sure, that I’ll return?”
The corner of the eyes crinkle as the lips bloom into a warm smile, instead of answer, only silence comforts me.
He moves toward the lavish golden sofa set, taking a place in centre, “Have a seat, child.”
Too impatient and curious, I choose to comply eagerly; taking a seat opposite to him.
Silence prevails as far as I can see and feel, Sir Gerard busies himself sighing in his thoughts while my legs fidget to distract impatience.
“Your Mentor, how is he doing?”
My fidgeting stills as I consider his words; the Royal Guardian asking for someone, sure it’s not something can be heard on routine. After all, they are just acquaintance, why would he be so interested—
I blink, throwing off thoughts which can lead me to preposterous concepts. Instead, I sigh, “Yes, he is doing well, I guess.”
“Are you still upset?”
I take my time, certainly unable to define my emotional turmoil toward my Teacher, “I’m sure, he had reasons. I just hope, he could’ve shared them.”
“Not everything can be explained, even if they are; sometimes, we couldn’t understand them.” His gaze shifts and colliding mine, “Perhaps, his reasons were too much for you to comprehend at that time—rather too much.”
I let out a sigh, almost shaking my head, no one can win over his reasoning!
“Neither over your surprises.”
I afford a smile; I won’t be back…never! And you’re here, take that on face Dumb!
“What made you change your decision?” his words take me back to the alley of time, when I was torn apart in my dilemma, past and future had been ruining the present of what I had left.
“You missed the wedding.”
A sudden wave of awareness crashes over me, waking me up from my thoughts. Kavya moves to the balcony continuing with her work in hand.
“Be prepared to hear it from Harsha.” She continues coming back to room.
“I’ve decided, I’m going back.” I announce; her steps falters before she faces me.
I can read the look in her face; not an option, not a choice but a decision.
A resigned sigh escapes me as I nod, “Mr. Wilson told me, my vocation hasn’t completed yet. There is something, that’s I need to do.”
“Are you—do you want to Niera?”
I can’t help but look away from her worried face; acknowledged to the fact, I can’t hide my heart from her.
“I’m afraid.” I confess.
“Last time, I had a few visits of death before life rescued me; what if I’m not at luck this time.” Instinctively, my fingers find my chest; the warm reminder of my breaths; I touch as reassurance.
“You want to go Niera.” Kavya repeats my words; indirectly reminding me my decision.
I nod, “After all, I’m needed there.”
A scoff escapes me, “Isn’t it pathetic, I’m special, someone significant for Supernatural realm,” I grasp her arm in desperation, “Kavya, I hate being special. I was so happy being ordinary; this special seems like a curse.”
The wrecked emotions torn through my chest, before Kavya embraces me.
“Don’t go then. It’s your choice Niera, it should be your decision.”
Pulling myself away, I look at her torn features; her face just mirrors the pain of mine.
“The problem is; if I don’t go, I’ll forever be worrying over them—him. Despite all the problems, all the terrifying promises and perils; I can’t look away, Kavya, I can’t turn my back. I’ll curse myself my entire life.”
Closing my eyes, I lean back against the wall, “Giving away my life bit by bit; I’ll rather live it with a satisfaction of nothing holding back. Rather than regret, I choose peace.”
A tired sigh escapes me, “Mr. Wilson says, I’m needed there, but this time, it’s going to be personal.”
He raises his brow in sheer intrigue, and I let a resigned sigh slip, “Yes, this time. It’s personal, I’ve...no official work this time.”
I draw a plastic smile, which the shrewd gaze caught and deciphered.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
Silence starts to settle before I crush it, “You still haven’t answered me, Sir.”
I leap forward, “How were you so sure of my returning?”
The golden settings suddenly turn golden fury of flames for me as I wait.
“Cutting ties isn’t easy. Hardest, when one is deeply involved.” He mumbles, like asking me to understand in few words rather than explaining the dense philosophy for my query. I stick to being quiet, not accepting his word web.
“But they must be cut, one has to; some ties are meant to be broken and burnt.” Ashes of which must be carried in heart forever.
Crossing his one knee on another, he regards me, “But you couldn’t.”
His words stunk, like thousands of needles as I nod slowly looking down.
“Why I couldn’t?”
The turmoil of mine lingers in the depth of my eyes, and he honors me with smile in silence.
“Why? I was sent to a place where I wasn’t supposed to enter, I faced the darkest and most forbidden mysteries and secrets yet I…every peril, just touched me and—”
Shooting up on feet, I cross the distance of a center table between us which seems like miles of desert in the crucial moment of our conversation, “What’s my vocation, Sir Gerard?”
He frowns, but it shoots off in micro second, “Do you believe in fate?”
I can’t even nod.
Sir Gerard draws his attention towards crystal artifact resting in the corner, “Fate is something above our comprehension level, while we believe our perception and decisions are correct, fate prepares us for better.”
He gets on his feet as well, asserting me in his calm gaze, “I believe you’ve to wait, until fate allows you to know and unveil your destiny.”
“Do you know, what is my destiny?”
Despite the heaviness in the air and stiffness in my back, he smiles, “Perhaps, if look closely, all answers are yours to know.”
The commotion of the room breaks the thread of my words, I snap my gaze, knowing perhaps, the shrewd Guardian already knows about the intruder. The force of air suddenly changes, from the mild aura of power, an intense gust of command hits me. I blink through it and a known sigh of relief passes my lips; it’s him.
Sir Gerard, from my peripheral view bows as I watch him taking confident strides towards us.
My name, never sound so complete before.
Is love this powerful, that it can make simple sound so special?
A small movement on his face gains back my thoughts, I blink twice, “Gideon…I’ve been—”
“Let’s talk in my cabin, come!” he cuts me off before coming closer, he brings forward his hand.
I look up at his casual stance, his warm blazed brown orbs, Miracle!
The realization itself ease me up and I place my palm over his; casting a glance at Sir Gerard how seems satisfied being a non-active audience.
The firework of tinkles ignites, so does the rumble of emotions asleep long back; my body reacts faster than I could ever comprehend as I willingly fall when Gideon tugs onto me.
Like an obedient doll, I follow him, as he passes the corridor, the bowing figures of Dr. Baron and Mr. Black, I witness, as we reach the imperial metal box. Gideon stares at the awaiting metal box, like trying to read the invisible lines time left upon it before he turns to face me, my eyes stretch a little.
“Do you trust me?”
My lips purse into a thin line, don’t you know already?
Instead, I nod slowly.
“Close your eyes.”
I comply only to snap open my eyes when his warm hand wraps around my waist; pulling me closer to him.
A gasp ripples out of my mouth as I witness the color play of Mr. Gorgeous Saviour’s and realization settles next.
He is teleporting…?
“To the cabin.” The gruff tone jerks me out of my thoughts.
Sighing, I close my eyes and soon I feel the change. The cold and warm colliding, engulfing us within before the change begins.
It takes a touch of moment, before the change settles back into ease.
Eyes flutter open seeking him; a little tired. I frown but he quickly blinks away.
My conscious makes a face, nice try but I caught, I always catch you!
From his gorgeous face, I distract my eyes and the surroundings instantly entraps me; the wall size aquarium takes away my breath; the flipping dancing tiny creatures glancing right through the glass barrier; their curiosity unable to be contained for the intruder in their place; I can’t help but feel the twinkles of enthrallment in my eyes as I watch their innocent etiquettes.
They had been mesmerizing, they are breath-taking, nothing has been changed, everything is untouched!
“Yes, everything has been the same, untouched. The way it was…!”
My breath hitches in my throat, somehow, the words inclining deeper meaning which I choose to disdain. Instead facing him, I flaunt a smiling nod.
From the sitting arrangements to the desk setting, things had been untouched, like they’re waiting for someone.
Despite myself, my eyes roam around, until they find the next, apparently the most precious article of the cabin-hall or rather of entire A V Inc.
The old painting of the time…the Royal Siblings…!
The maestro created a piece which has its own spell; despite the knowledge, it will cause me pain, I can’t help but admire the fine lines and blending strokes of depth on the paper adorned in the golden frame.
Majestic art of time, as old as the time!
Staring at the old painting, I know, I’ll be having a shooting headache yet I can’t take my eyes off it, instead, I speak looking at the fine strokes of the colors.
From my statement, eeriness wrapped in the wind comforts me and I release a breath.
“So are you.” The response comes on the wings of whisper just behind me, I bit back the shiver.
Darn this Efficiently Reading Me Man! Always so accurate to read me.
I turn facing his challenging eyes, “I’m not.”
“Lying isn’t your best trait, Niera. You can’t conceal what’s on your face.”
My agitation bursts, unable to cross his assessment or at my failure to conceal my truth, I’m not sure, “Why don’t you confess it?”
His lips almost—like a ghost—crinkle from the corner, yet the hardness persists in those brown orbs, “Instead, I don’t lie.”
I sigh, closing my eyes, I can’t hide myself, I can’t lie; Miracle knows how to catch me! He knows how to read me!
Accept it! He knows you better! A corner of my heart taunts.
A breath escapes me as he slips his fingers around mine, I watch in awe before he tugs me to him. A gasp is all the air fills within as I fall on him.
The proximities of ours, the closeness, I can’t help but get drown in the depth of those soul searing eyes.
Without a word, he leads me toward the sofa; flopping down with grace, he pulls me with him.
Silence embraces us, so does a serene comfort, I peek in his way, he is like a dream. A dream which I never expected to be true but wished it. Now staring at him, our joined hand on his lap and not worrying about the next moment; all this looks like a dream but its true reality.
Sitting here now with him, I can’t help but laugh at my preposterous delusional decisions of never returning; it wasn’t easy yet staying away, I thought I can over come it, the emotions, the pain and…my love.
Now I realize, it was a delusional…a sand castle of false hope which demolished today, now, in this moment.
Today, I realized; loving someone is hard, giving up someone you love is even harder.
Now, sharing the same air with you; I wonder, what was my love; was it, my denial to accept of my love, hoping for us to forget each other and being a distinct memory for you and letting you live your life or was it; hoping for you to remember me, care for me, even from distance like I was doing, keeping our memories, playing them all every day without a worry, hoping you’d think about me…maybe occasionally.
I knew it was an unrequited love yet I can only walk down this path, alone, collect the moments as you grow and watch you from afar; my love is to be with you for a time being as destiny allows.
I’m sorry Gideon; I tried everything, yet I can’t help myself, I tried to unlove you, I tried to forget you, I tried to punish myself, I tried to undo all the mistakes—yet I’m here, my fate or my love, I’m here. I will continue to love, and I’ll continue to betray you, I’ll never tell you my secret and I’ll never allow you to know my heart.
A corner of my eyes flutter in wetness. Looking away, I distract myself with the details of the cabin, nothing seems changed.
His soft breathing is all I can hear, apparently, all I focus upon, “You should rest more.”
I hear his sigh, I purse my lips thin, “Work and Kingdom needs you. So does your health.”
He stares at the lost space, with a dejected sigh, I initiate to pull back my hand from the tinkling join but restrained, when Gideon denies to free it.
A soft corner of my chest shivers in an eccentric delight and unconsciously, I press my fingers tighter around his.
Sometimes you don’t need words…sometimes you need only silence and let wind whisper around you!
The movements beside me gains my attention, shifting to face him, I remove his hand from his neck before reaching to his scalp, massaging it softly.
Given to the fact, Alpha had my hand entrapped in his, I can’t help but blush at our close proximities.
His brown orbs staring at me intently, I mumble, “Close your eyes, you’ll feel better.”
He complies, only the soft breaths accompany us, as I softly caress his scalp, easing off the stress.
Perhaps that’s all you needed.
“Yes, that’s all I ever wanted.” My fingers halt for a second, Gideon shifts, leaping further on the sofa back.
Soon, his breathing is soft, relaxed; our hands still hugging each other, his head resting so close to face…and I, caressing his soft traces in my unrequited love...
Like seasons play during the years,
We try to meet,
Waiting for night to pass and day to bloom,
Upset when rain falls,
When the love is true and pure,
Why is it need to be together every day?
February 24, 2021
I hope you enjoyed. Let me know your view.