7.4 And It Begins...Again!
“Are you sure this isn’t a nightmare? And that we won’t just wake up?
Because dreamers always wake up and leave their monsters behind.”
― Alexandra Bracken, In The Afterlight
All I wish for the hearts didn’t have memories; at least then, we’d stand a chance to recover!
Recovery or not, one can stand a chance to start anew. A new turn to make a better present. Holding up a small smile, I agree to accept this chance to make a better today, I vow to make it better.
The eccentric yet familiar taste of vibes hits me hard as I wander around the known corridor; the floor where I spent so many moments lost, utterly baffled to find my way. The walls and closed cabins peeking through their still state at my dilemmas and face-palms as I received few shocks and surprises.
I let out a happy sigh, pressing my lips tight to conceal my grin; people won’t like a maniac around them.
“That we understand Sir, maybe we can change.”
“Oh, no, no. I’ve spent hours on this, please consider.”
Suddenly, out of my reverie, a frown replaces my grin for the argument resonating around. The loud bickering surely distracts and attracts me simultaneously.
“Can you two consider sanity and work?” My mouth fell at the rude remark but hit the ground when I realize the voice.
Quickly passing the long vacant corridor, I follow the voice; finding two women and one known back in a deep discussion. Quickly marching their way, I notice stiffness coiled round the back, which none other than belongs to my Brother.
“But Mr. Revin—”
Oh oh! Furious Revin is dangerous Revin!
An angry vein popping out from his brawny arm as he tightens his grip on the folder in hand, “Both of you two, out!”
The ladies stiffen at his command, unconsciously taking a step back.
My brother growls at my call, enraged as he turns but his anger melts as he witnesses me, cracking a cracked smile.
Oh no! it’s a concealed bemusement coiled in fury wrapped in shredded smile. Seems like, my insanity is coming back to accompany me.
“Niera? What are you doing here?”
You’d have known if you’d stayed at home!
Jerry offers an odd look telling me, the snarky retort wasn’t just in my mind.
I clear my throat, focusing on the two utterly baffled ladies, “Is this Budget report for Prague Project?”
They regard me with guarded expressions before one of them nod, I forward my hand, “Pass it to me.”
Their gaze rush toward my brother, who, with a resigned sigh, nods giving permission and the next moment, the file is in my hand, along with the folder Jerry was holding.
I plaster my professional demeanor, “I believe, you’re from Finance Department, please consider this done, you can continue your finance reports, we’ll be needing them for next meeting.”
When one feels offended, other fidgets to elaborate, “But, its complete. We just need an open-mind consi—”
“Would you ask our client company for an open mind while they consider rejecting our proposal at the first meet for having inadequate information?” I use my professional tone.
She visibly blanches, I can see how she is trying to keep her confident façade but fails.
“Shall I take it, you’re ready to take the entire fault or we can leave it to me and Mr. Revin while you ace your predefined areas.” I pass them a smile and girls turn quiet.
“Ma’am, may I ask, who are you?” the offended one dares to croak folding her hand in front.
I look up to my brother, almost ready to pounce, but I beat him, formally introducing me, “Niera William, newly appointed Manager under Finance Department.”
Facing my brother, I smile delightfully, “I’ll be joining you from today, Mr. Revin. You might get an official call from Authorities regarding this, till then, I can have a general detailing of the project, if you permit.”
I throttle my conscious mind to hide the threatening smile on my brother’s expressions, he nods like a snail, so do the women. I efficiently read their conspiring thoughts through their faces but say nothing.
“Then, we—we’ll take your leave.” They gargle before strutting off to the direction of elevator.
“How and when did it happen?” I sigh at my brother’s eager statement; his tone proclaims his desperation.
I look up at him and another wave of awareness crashes against my conscious, I nod slowly before asking him to take us to his cabin; initiating yesterday’s event in detail.
“And you agreed.” He concludes unlocking the door of his cabin through his palm on scanner.
I enter after an approved click, leaving him behind; the ambience of the cabin tells me to run away, it seems like a—no—several hurricanes have passed this office. The scattered files and dishevel state of the surroundings reminds me the level of stress, my brother has been facing since weeks.
I bit my lips, feeling sorry and utterly worried.
“You could just use this time to rest, you already are so—”
His words melt when I turn around hug him, letting his familiar warmth soak into me, I missed him, missed his worry and now, I won’t let him claw his hair in frustration. Not anymore.
His breath falls on my scalp and I sense relief surges through him, he embraces me in his brotherly embrace, patting my head. Like always! Just like always!
I cover my concern in gibberish, “Without teasing you, there is no fun. I took this offer as a chance to help you. It’s been hectic, I see.”
His resigned breath falls on my scalp, “I can manage it.”
“You can. But I want to help, it’ll be waste, if I can’t help my brother through my knowledge.”
Creating distance, I find Jerry’s adorning smile as my gift, patting my head, he nods.
“If that’s makes you happy.”
I grin before I flop on one of his visitor’s chair while he walks back to his desk. I glance at the scattered papers, reading the headings as I go.
“Coffee and muffins?”
From the papers, I find my attention solely on my brother, “You’ve been wearing yesterday’s clothes.”
Jerry blinks from his file, perhaps the realization just dawns upon him, “Oh! Ah! Yeah!”
Placing my elbows on desk, I lean forward, “You haven’t slept or properly eaten in god knows how many days.”
He steals his attention back on the file, scribbling notes like I pointed an alteration.
I shake my head in chagrin, “It isn’t how things work, in fact, that’s the reason, you—you went mad earlier.”
I don’t wish to make him guiltier, so, choosing the right words become my prime concern. “Jerry, I understand the responsibility on you in absence of Mr. Banerjee and I totally understand your dedication and passion to bring the best, we all do that, giving our best and it’s our raw dedication and interest in our work. But Jerry, not everyone thinks the same way like us.”
I hold up his hand, making him meet my gaze, “Just like you, I believe, they are working day and night on this project, they’re your subordinates, but they may not share same priority.”
Jerry displays his annoyance, “You do see how they work, it’s absurd, Niera. How else shall I deal with them?”
I purse my lips thin, Alright, I guess, we don’t need discussion but rather solution, and quick.
I lean back, “Jerry, if you want to work as team, you need to make amends.”
I find surprise on his face, and without wasting another moment, I continue taking the sight of natural view outside, “It doesn’t matter how efficient and spectacular the plan is, the implement can approve for its success and execution is a group task, subordinates must ensure it happens, and you, ensure they’re dedicated to it.”
Shooting up on my feet, I find my way to the window, shifting the glass to close it, creating a shield between nature and I, “Jerry, you need a break, so must they. Give it a rest today, I’ll go through the files by ni—evening and from tomorrow you can implement.”
I see Jerry is reluctant, his lingering gaze on the scattered files clearly states his dilemma.
“Alright, we’re going home, you’re taking leave, so are the others working under you. I’ll ask Sir Gerard, I’m sure, he won’t mind—”
“No,” from the file, he looks up heaving out a loud exasperated sigh, “I can sanction leave. I’ll head to your advice.”
A large grin forms on my face hearing my brother’s declaration, “You must remember this till we clink the celebration drink of this project’s success.”
Jerry nods, pressing the intercom and sharing his plan—precisely, commanding them to take leave, also reminding them to be on time tomorrow.”
All I heard was a timid ‘Yes’ before he cuts the line and shooting up on his feet.
Taking the file and folder from the desk, he hands the documents to me, “You better deliver results for the promising ideas you claim.”
I return a smirk for my brother’s raised brow, “Rest assured Mr. Boss, you won’t be disappointed.”
The breeze is warm, like a reminder of the hot day just set behind me; long tendrils of mine are dancing with the wind, unaware of the same breeze irritating my skin. I shift my hair to one side, rubbing my bare shoulder, gazing at my shadow on the sand, dark and moving along with my movements, I look ahead, finding only my silhouette as lonely as I’m.
Looking around with the same astound gaze, the wide view of nature under the settling yellow-golden like a beautiful scenery enfolds in front of me. Long coconut trees, few chairs on the white sand, vast ocean trying to reach me through its shore; I see how the eager waves are crashing against each other; creating a playful mood in me.
The scent of ocean, people say is serene—salty but serene. I wish to touch the blue water bubbles in me, I grin, squinting under the glare, shielding my eyes to save them from sunlight.
Then, I realize…
The ocean is so close, yet there is no noise,
It should be coastal aura, why don’t I sense salty air,
When my hair is dancing, why the trees are still,
When the sun is up high in evening, why my shadow is alone?
The sun doesn’t bother me anymore, now, I’m rubbing my ears, pressing my nose in hysteric moves but they don’t work!
How come it’s possible; I’m not deaf, I don’t have such disease. My senses worked really well, always. All this time, they worked, they were with me when I came here—
Suddenly I still, my non-functioning organs don’t bother anymore; only the sensation of sweat formation tickles on my forehead, moving on me—like a part of scenery, I refrain myself to breath—was I breathing?
I don’t dare to find!
How am I here?
Why am I here?
It isn’t a familiar place!
Why don’t I see anyone?
Why am I alone?
Where. Am. I?
Pure petrifaction rolls in my veins, I look around the deserted scenario, moving my legs in hast; standing with a jolt.
A world where there is no sound or noise; even the serenity can bite.
All I hear my own ragged breath, for the first time, my fear consoled me. I look around, keeping my pants loud and hard, like I ran miles—perhaps I did, running away miles to reach this shore.
A gust of wind rush past me and a gasp escapes me; ripples of shiver kiss all over my body when the freezing wind battles the warm ambience. I feel only cold, crawling—coiling around me yet I feel sweat, beads of perspiration now slowly rolling down my back.
No…! This is similar… I can’t be…no! no…this is not!
Trepidation inside my chest tells me the reason, why I’m so disabled, why I’m so alone!
Trembling gaze falls down to the sand around my feet, fear has closed me, cold has frozen me…I’m alone!
No! no! no! don’t be that!
Whispers of prays resonate in my mind, despite being aware of my reality, I wish for it to be a deception. Any nightmare but not that…
Tears never falls, they never appear, not even when a breath falls right behind me…a vague shadow forming just behind me.
I stiffen like lifeless mannequin but didn’t cry as the figure…so familiar and known makes its presence.
I want to run, turn away from the horror but I don’t…I know, it’ll find its way to harm me.
Months of occurrences advise me, I should not!
The watch the stirring of the vague shadow, should not it be firm and dark like mine? Like anyone else’s!
I choke back my thoughts as the silhouette move, I bite back a gasp at the sight of mine joining it.
“Hail High, Oracle!”
June 1, 2021
And where all her fears come true…it’s where nothing is real!
I hope you enjoyed this update! How was it; let me know through your comments.