8. Dark Dilemmas
There is a life and there is a death, and there are beauty and melancholy between.
— Albert Camus
Whatever colors the sky has to offer,
One can only admire them from afar;
Like the spectrum on dew of dawn,
I can admire it from afar!
The bliss of mine, stands beside me,
Yet, the causticness of my existence,
I can only be at peace, to stare at it from a distance!
“If the destiny can bring it to you, you’ll have it soon one day.”
From the dancing reflections of water on the glass wall, my gaze averts to the open window of the night sky; holding almost equal murk outside just as my home hold inside.
If only one could nullify the pain and melancholy, the patience brings…with it!
Royce’s agitation rings in my mind, and I close my eyes. With Miracle’s return, instead of feeling at ease, we’re more on edge. Should I define it as my possessiveness or worry behind her sudden undefined actions.
She isn’t the same, she was not herself even at her place. And even now, she seems different.
Royce said what my mind is unwilling to accept; indeed, there is something in her that’s hindering us, she has been very different from the Miracle I’d known her.
Fragrance of memory freshens in my conscience, the desperation and pain for her broke all bounds, I had broken the promise to self by reaching for a glimpse of her; how chasing the rhythm, soon, she became the melody herself. The red orchid of mine joining the symphony of beats; had enchanted everyone with her grace. The vow was to satiate the thirst with one glimpse, but like a moth to fire, I was drawn; yet obscured but Miracle had to find me, her eyes reached us before we could withdraw.
Then, she ran to chase the shadows; her despair and sadness, tore me. I showed up. Instead, a strange fragile girl met me, tearing me a little more.
Breaking me a little more.
I’m worried for her.
Wordlessly, I agree with Royce, if meeting me or coming back saddens her, then—
The thought sears my heart like liquid fire, yet I’ll be willing to accept it.
Her smile is more to me then my entire existence.
I’ll. I must!
A heavy sigh resonates through the hall, before atmosphere sinks into eeriness. Removing the traces of emotions on her name, I drag my gaze to the man standing beside open fire-place, folding his hands in front.
Instead of dragging the dwelling of heart, I choose to divert the flow of conversation.
“Miracle is joining the office.” I state assessing the profile of my Guardian in the mild golden illumination. Gerard looks right behind me at the sky before nodding, “She has officially taken the position. I presume, she is already on it.”
“Why she is offered the position at the first place? Why must she be dragged into measly matters now.” For my firm statement, Gerard offers me composed silence.
“Majesty, Luna is soon going to join the legacy of our Royals, she must be well-acquainted and familiar to the subjects around her. This initiative suggests the easiest way to accomplish it.”
I bit back a growl of displeasure, not on his explanation but the astute figure of my Guardian has further motives which he is unwilling to share.
“I understand your worry, Majesty. But I choose this after putting all the plausible alternatives. Also, Niera has her tussles to face.” Efficiently, he breaks off my words, unintentionally raising my ferocity.
“I chose to not to involve her Gerard, I already gave my decision.” I quietly bit out, barely containing my rage. The only thing keeping me sane and not taking ballistic turn is Miracle’s lively face.
“The destined must happen, despite the will of one’s heart accepting it or not.” Gerard swiftly moves away from the fire-place to come near me, his reflection dances over the reflecting water setting.
I take a threatening step, “Gerard, I must—”
Revin’s frantic voice penetrates through the link, halting my fury. My hand still against the glass wall.
‘Majesty, Nier—a, Niera!’
My heart stills, my beats accelerating on their accord.
His broken words raising the level of anxiety in me, I turn toward the balcony, ready to leap but is next set of broken jumble throws me at stupefaction.
Majesty, Niera is ha—ving chest pa—in—pain. She is as—king for you, and you only.’
Just his stuttered words, and I leap from the balcony, Gerard’s frantic calls through link, I turn deaf. My breathing turns heavy, so does the frantic beats of mine making me aware of my Mate’s state.
What is happening to her? I ask Royce, whose concern growing and distance turning into agitation.
She is in pain and shock.
Royce growls quietly before taking command the next moment, I feel the claws coming out of my nails shredding the greenery as I thud on grounds before taking the route of her home.
Reaching at the Revin’s, her hard panting is crystal clear from distance; her struggle for an ounce of air, I can feel through the air.
Royce growls before giving me control before I rush inside, pushing the door open with force, I enter; Tiara jumps at the noise of door and broken vase beside the entrance. The child shivers before her terrified eyes move toward the dining area.
“Alpy, Au—nt Bamb—i...”
Biting back a snarl, I rush inside, Revin’s rapid breathing colliding with Miracle’s.
His wide eyes meet mine; before leaving her shoulders, he takes several steps back, bowing.
Her painful whisper wrenches my heart squeezing it in my chest; in a blink, I reach her; her eyes red; blinking back tears.
“She was sleeping in her room, suddenly I heard her scream, we rushed—ed but she rushed downstairs, and then—en, she explained her pai—n, she requested to call you only. Eve—n denied when I was calling Dr. Baro—n. I don’t—” gust of broken memories reappear in his mind and Revin unintentionally share it with me.
His words dissipated as Miracle squeezes my wrist with the ounce of energy she can muster, before her gasps fill the room and her hand glides me to her chest.
Her erratic heart mirrors the dance of terror she just experienced. A breath leaves me in rush, “Leave us!”
Revin nods quietly taking his leave after bowing.
Need her alone.
I slip my hand in her waist, before quickly lifting her in my arms and taking a swift flight to her room.
Once in the privacy surrounded in darkness, I reluctantly put her down, she whimpers, “Is it—”
Royce growls and she blinks, a lone tear dangling on her eyelid falls making a wet line on her red cheek.
King, go ahead!
Without any further delay, I feel my beast fading into vague mist. I close my eyes, letting my absolute powers to surge, and I feel the surge of my powers crashing against mine, and my eyes snap open.
My Miracle squeals, fidgeting in my hold, and I tighten my grip, crashing her fragile body against mine.
The realization of matter snatches away my remnants of stable calm within me.
Heaving out a sigh, I lower myself, before using myself, I give in to save her pain. Placing my palm on her chest; I allow my energy to travel, losing the link between my beast and I.
Her raged breath falls on my neck before I lower, joining our head. She lets out a sigh, and mine follows; her in relief and mine in exhaustion.
I bite back a groan of tiredness, pulling her to me, hiding out my true state.
Moments pass as I concentrate on our tinkling touch and her calming heart, offering me assurance by calming mine.
Miracle stirs in my embrace, finally getting back her insane demand to create distance, “Gideon!”
My gaze turns steely as I read her concocting an easy escape, she gulps, reading me well.
When she dares to step back, I tighten my hold on her waist, “Niera, what had happened, I won’t repeat.”
Hesitation brinks on her features before she sighs.
“Gideon, I’m having Nightmares.”
She breaks my musing soon enough with another light whisper, “Since a long time.”
Shadow of trepidation looms on her fragile features, in this moment, I see my Miracle so frail…so vulnerable. It shatters something in me.
Her vulnerable gaze seems conflicted between hiding and revealing her true state. I put my instincts above my command, pulling her back in my embrace, leading us to the sofa.
I put us both close, but she defies; placing her head on my lap; she holds my hand in both hers’; proclaiming her unsaid fear to be left alone.
“Jerry! I’m fine. Please go back to sleep and hold Tiger from visiting me…she’ll be upset and worried to see me like this. Also, please rest well. I’m in the safest of embrace.” Attempting her best to smile, she announces it to her brother who is pacing around in the hall. I can distinctly sense his pacing, hearing her his pacing halts, so does Tiara’s silent sobbing. I turn deaf to their wincing and reasoning for not visiting her tonight.
“He was restless, right?” she whispers quietly, gaining my attention back to her.
I look down at her, even in darkness, her sweat covered red face holds the same serenity and beauty which brings me to peace.
I stroke her face, saying nothing, she blinks, her fingers instinctively playing with mine.
“What was it?”
“I made you worried too. I should’ve kept it within.” She steals her eyes, looking away. How innocent of her to think, she can hide from me.
“What did you see?”
She sighs, probably the sternness in my tone weakens her resolves to babble, “A nightmare, which drew all of you in worry.”
Drawing a deep breath, her eyes—from the dark ceiling averts to the partly open window, faint light of nature falling inside. Even of such an ordinary sight, her eyes twinkle admiring true beauty.
In the sight of ordinary, only a few can find true beauty!
“I’ll be with you…you’ll always find me when…you need me.”
My vow revolves in the murk of room before eeriness swallows it.
“It’s late. You should go back.”
“I’ll when I wish too. Now, close your eyes.”
I find a whisper of smile in her frown, but the heat of my gaze defeats her.
“You mustn’t. Pain won’t touch in my presence.”
“I know, you’ll protect me. But for how long?” her incoherent babble slips even in this moment.
Always! I conceal my vow in the confinements of my heart.
Perhaps, fatigue or exhaustion, Miracle slowly drifts back into sleep, closing my eyes, I maintain the barrier between her and the absolute powers but the strong surge of aura defies it.
Opening my eyes, I softly stroke her forehead, removing the teasing hair off her face. Seeking forgiveness, seeking explanations; all lost in the mist of bafflement.
My own powers are defying my mate!
My gift is causing her pain!
The sun seems happy today, after the stormy season has passed taking all the clouds along, now the sky is under the domination of golden ball; a few clouds are dancing in their own glee yet away from the mighty sun, warm and bright day is all one can see and feel looking at the sky.
The birds are happy, as the chirping continues on the path connecting the nature’s haven and man’s home. The trees swinging, their delight can be sensed truly in the dancing shadow hovering all, branches, free to play their own symphony in wind, dangling their leaves.
A warm serene smile whispers on my lips, as I let my eyes roam around freely; taking the sight of surroundings greedily.
After all, it’s been seven days, seven dark days of storm attempting to shred our peaceful life into terrifying hell. However, the present of nature seems unaffected by the terrifying evasion for days; like nature has soaked all the scars of nasty breakdown and has only beauty to offer. I wonder I’ve inherited this nature from the nature or my personal nurturer; my mother who smiles after every scar she has received.
I look down at my feet; swelling has reduced to nothing; I don’t wince at the jitters of pain’s occasional visits, instead embracing the normalcy of life; trying to bring people to life who seems worried sick for me.
The night passed, but not the scars it left. It’s been a week, Tiara still steals worried glances my way, her unsaid despair screams louder in her dull eye, Jerry has dedicated himself to home, staying in, he balances office and home, he has been back to his closed stressed self; perhaps, it was only a few hours of relief, I could give him taking us home that day.
A deeper wound sinks in my chest at Miracle’s absence; since that night, Gideon promised me, I won’t face that pain but he left leaving me in the melancholy of his uninformed absence.
His absence, like a venomous reptile stings me; his parting words—that promise, instead of offering ease has put me to dense concern.
Blinking back into present, I look around. A chance to wander is blissful as for the days of storm, Jerry strictly kept me inside. Only the thundering of sky, falling rain and furious wind knocking on the window accompanied me as I tried to maintain life in home. Since, I can, I must enjoy every moment.
So, I draw a smile…admiring the wonders nature blessed us in.
Nothing and no place in world can take over the serenity of this place; Almighty has blessed the Kingdom Alicia with ethereal beauty which is incomparable; indeed, its magic and magical land.
The roads are familiar, like I’ve been always here and never left. The air carries the same fresh fragrance, like always awaiting my presence.
All the elements make me believe; they awaited me, and welcomed me.
I missed this, every element.
Even the nature accepted me, along with hearts!
The soreness of heart has been forgotten as I continue to move forward in the deserted road; the tsunami of thoughts has found calm in the company of nature. And for a time being I’m glad for that; I know I must face my troubles and clear my turmoil but, perhaps for a moment, a brief moment; I can cheat and relax.
The soothing calm suddenly vanishes, leaving me in pit of framed glimpses of past; my ascending steps falters before coming to an abrupt halt.
The dense layer of fog appears to be my companion, hindering my way; for a normal place, one can shake off the feeling; but standing in Kingdom of Supernatural, the ordinary holds the dense meaning, one shouldn’t over look.
I look around, paying attention this time; realization settles like bud of beginning, I’m near the park.
I’m near Princess’s Park.
I look back at the mist, smiling softly at its presence; looks like you too haven’t forgotten me!
Although, I take a leap of faith in the known direction; I can’t shake off the feeling of indecision; the prompting thought nagging my mind.
We haven’t met since she asked me to—
Should I meet her? After all, I’m back again, after her advice.
There must be a reason for her words, since she knows everything.
But I too had my reason—
The trail of thoughts interrupts when the serene sight of the park knocks at my zone of sight. The iron gate, slightly ajar; allowing me to take decisions if I consider going inside or not. I give a warm look to the place; since day one; it’s taken a place in my heart.
Every time, I couldn’t step away from this enchanting place, for many known-unknown, unexplainable reason, I ended up visiting and eccentrically, they turned out to be the mile stones of change in my path.
Am I still welcomed?
I quietly ask myself before witnessing the fog engulfing the entire surroundings, like a mystery wanting to be concealed. Despite all perplexities, I can’t help but try to peep inside, a ray of hope and spark of curiosity ignites within.
I can’t turn away…!
With a deep breath of determination, my hand wraps around the iron; an instant cold shock seeps into my skin. Staring at my palm, I feel the tinkles before slipping into the park.
The wonder still holds the power to leave me awestruck and spellbound in its ethereal amazement.
From the trees, flowers, soil even stones; greets me smiling in their own glow; the distinct incessant call of the creek dazzles me; I remember, I wanted to look at it once; but never got my chance. The fog is at the corner, like guarding the boundaries of the park, an ardent protector for the mysterious omnipresent aura known to rule the place.
It doesn’t hinder me…doesn’t stop me from moving freely.
A heavy sigh escapes my lips, as I let my eyes meander around the park, letting the beauty seep into my mind; until my eyes find themselves stuck at the vacant bench.
A wave of disappointment crashes on me.
She isn’t here.
A part of me hoped for the Lady, but then even she isn’t here.
No one is here…
“Perhaps, I’m not welcomed here.” A dejected mumble slips my lips; the mud beneath which used to be rich in humidity always is now dry, not an ounce of cool richness is here.
The fact surprises me; I frown before crouching, I touch the dehydrated soil, feeling the roughness it offers.
Has she left this park?
A wave of worry engulfs me as my restless eyes roam around. The layer of fog lurking in the corners, like the shades of trees have been their home since the beginning. Their dominating aura is palpable, the presence of fog somewhere consoles me, she is here.
The vacant bench greets my sight and another sigh sips my lips.
For a moment, I hope, I’d see her, lost in her own thoughts, staring at her sketches.
Her fragile pretty face makes an appearance in my heart and despite myself, I heave out a long sigh.
Every sigh she took with me, the lost look taken as an ornament of nature, I never asked her, why her smiles were so brief.
“Maybe, we’ll not meet again, but I hope now, you are smiling in the arms of life.” I offer a warm smile to the beauty of nature; the silent nature responds in the distinct soft crashing of water from creek.
I shake my head, perhaps, I’ll never see the water beneath…today is not the day and there will be no next time.
Dejection looms in my features, I shoot up on my feet, rubbing my fingers on the remnants of dry soil before passing a glance at the vacant seat, I turn.
Even if I can’t visit, I’ll keep the memories of you and this place…my heart will forever pray for your happiness.
Slowly dragging my feet, I make my way to the park but a sudden gust of wind jostles me. I halt in my step, almost gasping aloud. The path to the iron gates is hindered by the thick layer of white fog, like a guardian, it has been guarding the gate, like denying my wish to walk away.
Befuddled at the sudden change, I stand, a spark of hope explodes as I sense the sweetness of musk dominating the wild aroma of flowers.
Holding up my desperation, I turn, grasping the hem of my dress tight.
Offering the ethereal beauty of surroundings, a blissful look, there she is, sitting on her favorite spot. Lost gaze looking at the far scenery of the nature, hands holding nothing but a piece of sheet neatly resting on her lap, if anywhere, one can read this sight as a girl looking for ideas to draw her next masterpiece. One can misread her as one perplexed girl but the reality is, she is clearer and more lucid than anyone exists in this planet.
Mind erupts in thoughts as I watch her profile from the distance between us.
“You are here.” She declares her presence, assessing her profile, I see no difference since the last visit.
“You asked me to go.” I mumble softly, wondering if my whisper could reach her.
From the view, her warm gaze moves my way.
“But you’re back.” She sighs dejected, yet the twinkling glow of her eyes offers an eccentric zeal.
Has she been upset—elated—no, she can’t be anything but angry, since I’ve crossed her words.
The impassive glory of her face startles me, knocking me out of my conscious daunting. Alicia was closed earlier, not letting anyone approach her territory, now she seems almost inaccessible.
Her words, like angry hail from sky, falling into my conscious; her words simply spoken yet the command of heaven was descended with them. Unintentionally, I take a step forward, watching her stone stance staring at me with sheer nothingness, but her gaze is daunting dominant.
I take a step toward her impassive form, like a floating cloud of mist, she has been submerged into the fog, yet standing out in her ethereal pure charisma, “Have I done something wrong?”
The wonder of nature glows when her impassive face forms a soft almost insignificant smile, “Why ask, when change will made presence with time.”
“Alicia, please tell me, should I go back?” I reach her in instant, keeping a safe distance to save her discomfort.
Her warm brown eyes move up, meeting my gaze, I blink at their surreal intensity.
I ask myself, can I?
From her enchanting innocent face, I look down at her blank paper, “I can, but I don’t want to.” I declare in a shameless mumble.
Silence prevails, even the noise of creek disdain in our dense dilemmas, then, she speaks, “The will of heart and courage of brave can conquer the fate.”
Deep lines of frown form on my forehead, I tilt my head to get closer to her, “Is something, going to happen?”
A shiver of fear and regret shuns me as I watch her gazing at the view leisurely.
She shakes her head, “You can’t know.”
The thundering organ in my chest, I feel slows or perhaps stops, because I can’t notice. I don’t notice anything, my entire attention roaming around the young girl holding the secrets which can build or ruin the world for me…but she is just…quiet.
She could have said, I can’t tell, but she said I can’t know. Is it about me, or is it going to happen because of me?
A shaky breath slips through me, “Does it relate to Gideon?”
“It doesn’t matter, how many queries you ask, future never speaks in present. It’s a mystery of tomorrow, one can’t decipher in today.”
The warm sun is forbidden in the cold foggy aura yet I feel sweat forming in my fists as I dig my nail into my palms.
“Have faith and hope, you’ll find your path soon.” She breaks off my speech efficiently.
And fog engulfs her completely.
I watch her and her haze. It doesn’t affect me, I know, the pure smog is her guard, her trusted ally.
My mind reels under the words she spoken before fading in mist.
Repeating the words, she said when we first met, I was lost and she told me the way.
I look around and wonder; am I lost again?
I want to write you in a poem,
A poem of life of mine,
In which I’ll draw you as mine,
I’ll keep you close and cherish you in every line,
I won’t let you get hurt…
So, you won’t be sad,
I’ll write you memories…where we’ll fall for each other in every line,
I’ll write you in my poem,
Where the stanza of our love will never end,
I’ll bring you beauty and rhythm, in which sun and moon will envy us.
I’ll be the breeze awaiting your scent,
I’ll make more love and life for you,
But the world will never know,
Because, the poem in you, I’ll write and will keep under my pillow.
You’re mine…in the poem, I write you in…!
June 20, 2021
So, here we are holding all the emotions in heart and mysteries in mind.
A little peek into our Mr. Majesty’s heart in his POV.
And you met Alicia…!
Our three Royals in one Frame!
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter; just drop your opinions, I’d love to read them.
I’ll try to bring an update next week, but with my exams approaching, I can’t promise, yet I’ll definitely try.