Yesterday we celebrated Christmas in our company. And this is only the beginning of the month, more holidays to come. No wonder they say that September is a “short month”, although the word itself is long.
We ate and drank in a designated place. When everyone left and only two of my friends remained in the room, apart from me, I poured myself the last shot of vodka, deftly threw it into my mouth, but for some reason I was in no hurry to swallow. I probably wanted to delay the moment of truth. We went out and locked the glass door behind us. Suddenly, I realized that I was breaking one of the corporate rules. Drinking alcohol on premises was strictly prohibited, with the exception of this special room, designed for celebrations. In my hand was the empty shot — the instrument of crime. And in my mouth — the substance of crime. I quietly placed the shot in a recess in the wall. The cleaners will find it later, and no one would think about me. Nobody knows about the fact that I walk around the company with vodka in my mouth, except for me. But what about conscience? No, I can’t be silent and keep it all inside.
“Do you understand that at the moment I am violating the ‘Corporate Book’, because vodka is still in my mouth.” I solemnly informed my comrades, following a narrow corporate passage.
“So swallow it quickly!”
“It’s too late, there has been a violation and you must report it to HR“.
“What if we go back to the room?”
“This will not nullify the incident”.
“But one way of thinking about it: while holding alcohol in your mouth, you are cleansing your mouth, which is commendable because it shows the employee’s care about his health, and your health is corporate property.”
When I swallowed, I felt the bitterness of vodka mixed with the sweetness of breaking corporate rules. After that following our custom I got on all fours and crawled into my office.