Panic Attacks Suck
My heavy gasping barely escapes my mouth as my chest heaves up and down, my body falling into the hallway wall. I slide to the ground as I pull my knees up, I keep trying to tell myself to breathe,to relax, and to just calm down yet my body acts on its own accord. I pull my head down on my knees and close my eyes cursing myself.
Suddenly I hear heavy footsteps rampaging out down the halls. I look up to see Roman just feet away concern and pain written on his face. He moves without a word as his arms pull my small still shaking body into his as we both sit in the hall floor. I'm not sure how he found me in this mass maze of walls or how he knew I was having a terrible moment but for the first time I'm grateful someone was around. I try to calm my speeding heart and put myself back together but for a while I cant help but heave in and out with my heavy breathing.
"It's okey, your fine." Is all roman whispers as he pulls my body into his chest. I can hear his speeding heart rate as my ear presses against his chest. We sit there for what feels like hours as eventually my breathing calms matching romans and my heart rate slowing as does his. My eyes are wedged closed as I take in a deep even breath, exhaustion pulling the strings of my consciousness.
My body feels so weighed down as my eyes refuse to open. I feel roman's body move, his arms wrapping underneath me as he lifts my tired body up from the hall floor. I don't say anything, partly because my body enjoys the tingling feeling from my body being pressed against his chest and arms. Roman moves and I feel my body relaxing into him as we do, every step I lose my thoughts until finally the darkness takes my exhausted body and mind.
When I finally wake up I can't help but feel more refreshed and awake then I had felt ever before. I don't open my eyes as I stretch out my arms over my head as I stretch out my full height in the bed. My mind feels groggy as if the sleep rebooted it. When I finally open my eyes I'm hit witht eh bright rays of morning shining down on my face and body, forcing my eyes shut until they can finally readjust.
When I open my eyes again, it's the first time I get a good look around the room. I lay in my room, in my silk sheeted bed that feels like clouds but when my eyes wander off the right side of my bed I'm surprised at what I see. A few blankets lay on the floor te sleeping figure of roman asleep, his head resting on a small lone pillow.
'Awwww, our mate stayed!!' Winter purrs.
I stare at his tall, well built figure and try to figure out how I felt about him sleeping in my room. It's not like he slept in my bed or anything weird and he did help me with whatever happened to me in the hallway. Roman lays on his side his face settled with the corners of his mouth resting in a slight smile. Part of me can't help but feel a little happy that he stayed yet the other is scared. How can someone be so kind and considerate without an alternative reason to do so?
Every person I've known in the past few years has had an alternate reason for acting kind, some wanted information, and others wanted more but neither got what they wanted. I had promised myself as a child when I had awoken in the dark dusty basement in a cage that no matter what they wouldnt get to me, they could hurt and harm my body but I wouldn't let them break my mind. As time went on, that promise became harder to keep. Even know, roman has only shown me kindness yet I can't help but feel like he will end up hurting me too.
My eyes can't help but settle on his sleeping form for a few moments when I suddenly hear a loud bang on a door outside my room. My body shoots up as fear hits my nerves. I can't help but pull up my blankets as a slight yelp bursts through my lips. I hear roman move the blankets shooting off of him as I turn to look at his still half asleep body shoot up to his feet. Even with my fear from the unexpected noise, the sight of roman slightly wobbly on his feet as his short bed head hair stands up wildly as his eyes look around the room for danger. When his eyes fall on me they are clear and awake, and I hold back as best I can until I can't help it. A laugh explodes from my lips as I smile, roman looks a bit taken back only adding my uncontrollable laugh staring at his wild hair.
He gives me a wide smile as I continue to laugh. Im cut short when a loud knocking sound comes from outside my door once again. I immediately stop laughing and look at my door.
"Its okay, someone's just knocking on my door." He comforts me. Roman moves to the door, giving me a quick glance and a comforting smile as he opens the door. Outside my door sits Tristan his fist raised just about to knock on romans bedroom door. He hears the door open and looks open, surprise on his face from the room roman seems to be in. His eyes look into the room, landing on me as he gives me a warm smile. Then he looks to roman. For a small moment his face sits the same, until his eyes land on romans hair. I watch as he physically tries to restrain the smile and laugh. Until finally he cant hold it as he bursts out laughing bending over as he holds his stomach. His finger point at romans hair. I bite my lip trying to hold in my laugh only to give in as both of us laugh uncontrollably at romans hair.
"Hahahaha, it's like a llama cleaned your hair!" he laughs out as he falls to the ground. I fall hearing tristan's description onto my pillows as I hold my stomach.
"Alright, Alright! " He smiles out with a slight chuckle, his fingers running through his hair until it comes under his control.
Finally tristan and I get control of ourselves as I sit up watching tristand try to breath.
"Mmm, okey, aw." He chuckles as he clears his throat finally standing fully upright.
"What did you need Tristan?" Roman says tilting his head a bit wanting to get to the point.
"Oh, um, its nothing. Some pack members said they didn't see you at breakfast so I was coming to see if you were up." He says waving his hand.
"Well, I'm up now." He shrugs. His eyes glance back at me in bed as he looks back at tristan.
"I'll spend the day doing paperwork, so can you handle overseeing the training with Blair?" He asks tristan. Tristan just smiles and gives him a mock salute.
"Sir, Yes Sir!" He mocks. Roman glares at him only for tristan to take of down the hall like a child. I can't help but smile at his antics, in a way Tristan hasn't changed since he was a child.
Roman shuts the door and looks back at me, he pushes his hands into his pockets. "How are you feeling today?" He asks with concern in his voice.
"Im fine." I say shrugging of the concern. I know roman doesn't believe me but for the moment he just nods his head.
"I'm going to my office to do some paperwork, if you need anything just find me or Tristan, okey?" he asks making sure I know I can ask both of them for help.
I nod as I fold my arms on my bent knees, my chin resting on them. "Okey, I'll go know. Get some rest." He says with a smile. I'm not sure what made me do it or if it was more my wolf then me but I speak up.
"Can I go with you?" I say sitting up. He looks over his shoulder a little surprised by my question. I bite my bottom lip, and try to make this not so uncomfortable.
"I-I just don't want to be in this room anymore but I don't want to be out around the house with so many people. So can I spend the day with you in your office? You don't have to worry I can just sit and read or something?" I try to make it seem like I could just be an invisible fly. Roman squints for a moment and I can't really tell what he's thinking.
"Sure, maybe you can help me with my work!" He says with a nice big smile. I can't help but smile too.