I'll Keep You Safe
Roman helps me to his room, His steps slower as his hands keep me standing. Carefully touching my shoulders as if I was a fragile flower ready to wilt at any moment. And for someone who's just been attacked and almost killed, I feel unnervingly calm about it. In all honesty it's not the first and I doubt it will be the last time someone's tried to kill me.
It just shows me that no matter how safe this place seems they can get to me anywhere and at any time. Roman opens the door and I quietly move into his room. His room is very similar to mine, the same layout with a large carved wooden framed bed pushed against the middle of the wall with a large window just like mine. His dark white and blue silk looking sheets are thrown over the bed from what I would guess his abrupt wake up. His fireplace sits lit with calm flames licking up the chimney giving the room a toasty feel.
"You can sleep in the bed I'll take the floor." He mutters as he moves through the room fixing the blankets. He quickly pulls one of the dozen pillows from the bed and throws it to the floor with a smaller blanket. I don't say much. I guess I don't really have much to say on the matter of what happened. I guess theirs a sobering feeling that comes over someone when they realize that no matter how much they may try, I'll end up losing my life to them.
I crawl into romans bed, laying flat on my back allowing me to keep my eyes on the door and window. Roman settles on the floor between the bed and window. I swallow the rough raw lining of my throat feeling agitated. Roman clicks the lone lamp on the bedside table casting us into darkness.
"Does it matter anymore?" I mutter out into the darkness. I can feel roman move a bit as he hears my whisper.
"What?" He finally speaks up. His voice is that same deep tone but theirs an edge. I'm quiet for a moment, my eyes staring right up at the wooden ceiling.
"They wont stop. They'll keep coming until I'm dead." I finally mutter out in my raw somber voice. Romans quiet for only a moment when he speaks up, his voice more vigorous and filled with surety.
"It wont happen again. I'll keep you safe." He tries to reassure e but before I can stop myself the raw truth slips out.
"It did happen again, and even here on the pack land they got to me." I mutter out. Even though I cant see his face I know I hit roman hard with that harsh truth.
"I should have been more careful, its my fault. From now on we are going to keep you safe at all times." He insists.
"Wouldn't it be better if I just left? You and the pack wouldn't have to risk yourselves." I ask him. I could leave, I could survive out their as a rouge if I needed too. Until they finally found me and killed me but maybe I could just flee into the mountains, join one of those primal packs that live everyday as wolves.
"Don't say that! Don't ever think that any of us would rather you leave then to fight for you. I wont let them take you again, Gaby." He whispers that last part sadly. I swallow again this time to control the feeling of pain in his words. I don't say anything as the silence falls around us.
"You don't hate me for putting the pack in danger?" I ask nervously. Romans silent for another second before he answers.
"No, because I know you don't want the pack in danger. Its not your choice to put them in danger. Your one of us, even if you haven't had a ceremony. The pack cares for you and will walk into battle with a smile to protect you." He comforts me. For a few moments I do feel comforted, the thought of the whole pack caring for me without knowing me is an odd thought. I need to show them I'm worth all that trust they've given me already.
"Roman?" I mutter.
"Yes?" He answers quickly.
"Could you lay next to me...… until I fall asleep?" I mutter nervously and a bit self-consciously. Romans quiet for a moment and I get ready to make an excuse if he doesn't want to when suddenly I hear shuffling and the bed dip from romans weight. He lays down on the right side of the bed an inch or so away from me. A warm comfort fills me and puts me at ease to have him close. Neither of us say anything as we lay their, my eyes growing heavy as I slowly and hesitantly allow my guard down until my eyes force themselves closed. Romans even breathing drumming in my ears as he lays close to me. In the morning I'll probably feel awkward from this experience and closeness but at the moment I feel safe. I haven't felt safe for so many years but when Romans with me I'm not so scared. Even tonight he protected me, he would have killed that man if we hadn't stopped him.
So for tonight I allow myself to trust my old childhood friend with my life. A slight smile kissing my face as I hear my wolf winter purr in contentment. For the first time tonight I fall into a warm comforting sleep, the darkness taking over and nothing but peaceful sleep around me.