Today just keeps getting worse. I haven't felt this broken since my parents were ripped from us. Lisa's face says it all, she knows.
"Lisa dont tell Emmett," I whisper staring into her eyes. She nods wordlessly at me. Her eyes are hard and angry.
Lisa is the strongest woman I have ever met. The reason my innocence was not ripped from me today. I smile at her, I need her to think I'm strong too. That having my mate in my own home with another woman won't break me.
"I'm gonna go take a shower. You can take one is Emmett's. I will get some more of mom's clothes out," I say trying to ignore the loud moans and the beautiful deep voice coming from our guest room.
Lisa and I walk to our separate rooms. I immediately rip the oversized shirt off of me and run to my large shower. I can still smell them on my skin. Their lingering filth disgusts me. I grab my apple cinnamon body wash and cover my loofu. The water is still cold but I dont care. I need to be clean now. I scrub my skin mercilessly. I had to have removed the top five layers of skin.
Their lifeless eyes are burned into my memory. The sound of my clothes being torn from my body is deafening in my ears still. They looked at me with no true emotion. It was as if they were already dead long before Lisa tore their heads from their bodies. I shiver involuntarily. They would have used me if Lisa hadnt been there.
I sink down to the cold tile floor and sob. I feel so dirty. I am happy my mate is with someone because now that I am alone, I realize one thing. I dont want another man to ever touch me. I dont ever want to be used to fill a man's desire.
Molly- our mate would love us.
Not use us. I'm so sorry I couldnt help Moira.
Moira- it wasnt your fault molly. If I was stronger I could have done more. We are so lucky Lisa was with us.
Molly whimpers and lays back down she is still drained. The only reason she is making herself known at all is because she smelled our mate.
Our mate. He must be Lisa's brother. He smelled human and had a similar scent to hers. Wood and warm maple syrup. The other scent was Amanda. A very sweet wolf who was rejected a couple years ago.
Molly- that omega. We are of Alpha blood. Why would he choose her?
Moira- he is human molly.
Molly-he cant be, Emmetts mate shifted.
I freeze. She did shift and she mind linked. I will have to ask her about it. After today I feel very close to Lisa. I no longer need to get to know her because no matter what she is my friend, my allie. I will have her back against anything.
Molly nods her big wolf head in our mind agreeing with me. Lisa was the Luna in title the minute Emmett marked her but now she is my Luna far past a title.
Thinking of Lisa reminds me, I still need to get her some clothes. I turn of my shower and grab my towel. I dry off and put on Emmetts old pjs. He wore them when he was 13 and they are still big on me. These are my safest feeling clothes. I lived in them when Mom and dad died.
I hurry to the storage closet and grab some of moms sweats and tshirt. My mom had loved comfort. She didnt care that a Luna was supposed to look regal and untouchable.
I go to Emmet's room and forgo knocking. Lisa and I are way passed the naked barrier after today. Lisa is wrapped in a towel sitting on Emmets big bed.
"Here you go. Sorry I didnt think to grab undies but you probably didnt want those anyways," I say giving her the best smile I have.
Lisa returns my smile and heads back to the bathroom. I decide to wait. I dont want to go downstairs. Emmett is probably home now and he will want Dr. King to look at me. I just cant. I cant have a man examine my body right now.
Lisa comes out quietly. She inspects my face with a sharp eye. I feel like she can read my soul.
"I'm sorry about Scott," she says lowly taking a seat next to me on the bed.
Scott. I like it. Simple but strong.
"Honestly Lisa I am okay with it. After today.....I dont think I could handle a mate. I know that sounds weird........" I start to explain.
"That is not weird Moira. I know wolves are expected to jump all over their mates the minute they meet them but you were literally just assaulted," Lisa says harshly with venom in her voice. I can tell she is replaying what happened to me.
I smile at her. She is so strong. She saved us. One more moment and I would have been used. Even Emmett would have been too late. I was useless. I had just cried. I hadnt even tried to fight them.
"Dont you dare," she growls at me and I whimper at her unexpected growl.
"You think you are weak, dont you? I can see your face Moira. Dont you ever think that. I was so proud of you," Lisa says with an honest voice.
I drop my eyes to my hands. "I didnt do anything to be proud of," I whisper.
"Are you kidding me. You were chained to a wall, disconnected from your wolf, and being attacked by two huge men and you didnt beg them for mercy once. You closed your eyes and prepared yourself like a warrior," Lisa says with pride dripping from every word.
She grabbed my shoulder and I meet her intense gaze. "You are strong Moira. Yes your body might be small but your heart, your soul, and your mind are strong. Dont you dare doubt that for one moment," Lisa says slowly like she needs me to deeply understand every word.
Molly- (howls) listen to our Luna Moira. She is correct. You acted like a true warrior. One who excepted an awful fate.
A smile breaks across my face. A small flame of pride flickers in my chest.
"From now on you are going to the gym with me. We are going to make your outside match your inside. And you will help me learn how to connect with my new wolf," Lisa says instantly making a plan for our future.
"I was going to ask you about that. You have always smelled like a human. But you know....you shifted. I dont understand," I say truly curious.
"Long story short, my mom was apparently a wolf. So while Scott and I are mostly human we have dormant wolf traits. Being marked by our mates activates them. The moons goddess gifted me my mother wolf to kind of, make up for my rough future. And before you ask, I dont think Scott will be receiving a wolf but I dont truly know for sure," lisa explains in almost a bored tone.
I'm shocked silently. Half wolf. Most kids of mixed parents are wolves. Their father must have been a strong human. I nod my head at her explanation as I process the information.
Emmett- Moira are you going to come down? Dr. King is waiting.
Moira- We are coming. We wanted to get clean first.
Emmett- I figured baby sister. I just have to make sure you are okay. Then you can rest I promise.
Emmett sounds so worried and small, not like a big strong Alpha at all.
"Emmett wants us downstairs the doctor is here," I say looking at Lisa. Who nods quickly.
"He told me, I just ignored him. Which I plan on ignoring him for a very long time," she says crossing her toned arms.
"I knew it. What did he do," I ask remembering her puffy face the night we were kidnapped.
"Let's save that talk for tomorrow. Let's go get you checked okay," Lisa says looking me over with concerned almost motherly eyes.
"I really dont want an old guy touching me right now. I would much rather hear you dish about Emmett," I mutter.
"Are there no female physicians," Lisa asks with a creased forehead.
"A couple of nurses," I say shrugging.
"Dont worry, I will handle it come on," she says striding to the door waiting for me to follow. I sigh and follow her down the stairs.
Emmett, Mike, Clint, Dr. King, Lance, Amanda and my mate are sitting in the living room as Lisa marches in like she owns the place.
The living room is missing our pictures and the walls have holes in them but everything else looks back to normal. I stand close to Lisa after she stops moving and look at the floor. I dont want to see my mate cuddled up next to another female. Even if I dont currently want him, it would still hurt my wolf and I.
"Moira needs a female physician," Lisa says loudly and directly.
"Why? Did they... did they...," Emmett asks unable to say the words.
"She can discuss the events that took place when she is ready and without an audience," Lisa growls loudly at my big brother and the room gasps.
Lisa is new to being a full wolf but she is so natural at it and she shows no fear when talking to an Alpha.
Emmett meets my eye and gives me an apologetic look. He understands what Lisa is communicating. I was assaulted. I'm different now. I sink into Lisa's side feeling like I'm ready to faint. He thinks I'm weak. He pities me.
Lisa wraps a strong arm around me.
Lisa- Stand up Moira. Dont you dare forget what I told you.
I jump when I hear Lisa in my head. But I instantly stand up tall. I meet my brothers eyes with fake confidence. If lisa believes in me then that is all I need. She is my new role model. I will push to match her strength, her boldness, and her kindness.
"Brother I would like a female to examine me. Nothing against Dr. King but that is what I am currently comfortable with," I say with my chin up. I glance at Lisa out of the corner of my eye. I want to continue to make her proud.
Lisa- that's my girl.
Moira- thank you lisa.
"Um okay Moira. No problem," Emmet says while his eyes unfocus linking one of the female nurses.
"Well I'm going to head out then. Take care," Dr. Kings says with a smile and head nod in my direction.
I did it. I stood up and spoke my feelings. It feels so good. The wait for the nurse was short. She took me to my room and looked at all my bruises. She asked me if Molly is back and then said I am on the mend.
I watch Moira go up the stairs with a straight back and instantly feel pride. If it was me that was assaulted I wouldnt have left my room. She doesnt even realize how strong she is.
Emmett breaks my gaze with his massive body. I've missed him so much. But I refuse to be the damsel in distress that needs her mate. He acted like I didnt exist before he left and just because I was kidnapped he now wants to be interested.
I turn my face away from his perfect shoulders and meet my brothers eyes. He hasnt hugged me or even asked if I'm okay. He has his arm slung over the she-wolf from thursday night. She must be the one he was just humping.
"Really Scott. I'm missing and you are in someone else's house going to town," I yell not caring if I embarrass little miss home wrecker. My new wolf aggression is making me irrational.
She is in the dark about what they are doing to Moira but I dont care. Scott shouldn't be having loud sex in someone else's home no matter what and he should at least act like he cares for his twin sister.
"Lisa I was celebrating. This amazing woman had just told me you had been rescued," Scott says while planting kisses all over his new fling.
My growl rips from my chest. Protectiveness for Moira and anger over my brothers lack of caring explodes through me. The she-wolf stands immediately bowing her head and runs from the house.
"What the hell was that," Scott says staring at me then the door.
"You would know if you had come and spoke to me after I returned from being fucking KIDNAPPED," I yell.
"Lisa, calm down love," Emmett says placing a hand on my arm. I feel calm flood me but I yank away.
"What? Now I fucking exist to you? Fuck me. Mark me. Leave. THEN BOOM YOU CARE AGAIN. ALL THE SUDDEN. YOU BOTH ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY ROCKS. MY SECURITY. GO TO HELL. OH AND SCOTT, I GROWLED BECAUSE IM A FULL FUCKING WEREWOLF NOW. AND BOTH OF YOU CAN KISS MY NEW FURRY ASS," I shout and the men all shrink a little.
Lance, Clint, and Mike look like they want to run and hide.
Linda/momma wolf- Lisa calm down. Calm down now. We will make our mate pay for abandoning you dear. As for my other pup he needs an ass whooping. His sister and mate need him. But we must respect her wishes child. Dont make me pull the momma wolf card.
My mom's wolf pulls me back from going on a punching parade. She is right we will make Emmett pay and we will let Moira tell Scott when she is ready. But it still hurts that my brother was screwing instead of caring about my wellbeing.
I turn my attention to the only person in the room that I am worried about. I walk towards him slowly meeting his brown eyes the whole way.
"Mike, I am so sorry. I obviously hated your sister with a passion after what she did but I am sorry. I am sorry you had to see me kill her and I am sorry you had to see her body afterwards," I apologize as I search his eyes. I dont want Mike to hate me. He is so fun. So happy.
"Its okay Luna. I loved my sister but she betrayed her pack. She left you with no choice," Mike says looking at the ground trying to hide his tears.
"Do you hate me? Will you resent me," I whisper trying to gain his gaze again.
"Never Luna," Mike says as he snaps his head back up. A few tears slide down his sad face.
I move closer and hug him to me tightly. He buries his face into my neck and cries. I ignore Emmets low growl. I dont care if he is jealous or not. All I care about is making sure I didnt kill a kind heart. I'm already a murderer. I dont want to be a soulless monster also.