I wish things were so simple. I wish i could fall into his arms and have him make it all feel better. Instead I stand rigid waiting for Riley to arrive. Dimitri's eyes don't leave me. My face or the roundness of our growing children. I turn away looking at anything but his face. He looks tired and messy in a way I've never seen him. I want to touch his stubbled cheek. I want to take away the line between his brows of worry but I won't. This soulmate thing is messed up. Creating a person so they have another equal out there to them.
I am not his equal nor is he mine. We do not complete each other. He hurt me in a way Dustin had never been capable. I knew it was coming but rather than run from it i found myself being the one to go to him. To find him so he could give me pleasure in a way I could have only dreamed of.
I remember going to his study and finding him sitting at his desk typing away on his keyboard. His eyes shot to mine the minute I entered. I had been so bold I barely recognised myself. I walked towards him lifting the long t-shirt of his, I was wearing and dropping it to the floor. His eyes had gone savage almost as they would when stalking a prey. He hadn't done as I expected. I thought he would come to me. Instead he had pushed his chair back and pushed his trousers and boxers down to his knees. Sitting in his chair. Fist around his length he had just watched me. Waited no demands or speaking. So I moved towards him. That invisible line pulling me home. I had straddled his lap and sank down onto him. Welcoming him into me in a way that I had found amazing each time. He had let me take the lead until I had seen stars. Then he had taken over, pulling my hair until my back arched right over and I had to brace myself on the desk.
"Princess." Riley walks into the room with a bright smile and a small incline of his head. "You called?"
"Riley why am i here?" I ask looking only at him. He looks towards Dimitri in confusion.
"She doesn't want to hear from me." Dimitri sounds annoyed and hurt all at the same time. I don't turn to look at his face though moving around the bed to be stood near Riley.
"Your father asked us to bring you here Emery. Once Dimitri told him of your pregnancy. Cadence doesn't believe risking your safety or that of the babies is worth having you come home."
O. I hadn't considered the fact that if i went into labour or had a bleed which i read is normal in a pregnancy. A human one anyway many have a small bleed that means nothing. If that had happened in our home full of vampires. I feel myself going pale at the idea of what they would do. Not to me but my babies. Placing protective hands on my bump. I look to Riley again.
"I have been thinking whilst I was gone. I would like to try something Riley."
"What is it princess?"
"I would like to try testing if you can grow an immunity to wanting my blood." I hear Dimitri rapid movement to my side. A growl from his lips. "Dimitri. Riley will play a large part in the life of our children will he not? You are his sire."
"Of course but that doesn't …"
I put a hand up interrupting him. "He would not be able to harm them as they carry your blood but what about me? Should Riley forever be at risk if i ever was hurt that he would kill me?"
They both go silent. I have no idea if this will work. But if we could try maybe it will. That way I can do the same when it comes to my father and the babies. He is my father so he can harm me but I on the other hand would find it difficult to go against an order. Something within us doesn't allow us to do that.
"I think we should try. So what is your plan?" Riley finally says looking at me with a wink and a grin.
Thank you in advance. "I believe if we are to give you my blood. I haven't got enough information whether it is best a drop orally or to inject you with some."
What I do know after a lot of reading and research is that fea blood is not only special to vampires because of the addictive taste, and the ability to walk in sunlight of course. Even if for a short time. But we have powers of our own. Our blood enhances those that drink it.
"I would prefer an injection." Riley speaks and I understand why. He cares for me and doesn't want the blood lust. But there is no promise that injecting my blood will stop that. Only thing we can do now is try. "I can see the idea behind it, princess. You think if i am injected daily i will grow an immunity to the wanting."
"He would become addicted. The power he would feel being injected with your blood. An old vampire and fea. You could turn him worse. A blood lusting feral." Dimitri demands.
Of course he is seeing the worst of this but if it goes the other way and he is able to then withstand my blood. Then I have a best friend and a father to my children that won't lust for my blood. I will not be at risk here. I could find happiness. Not with Dimitri. I try to tell myself.
"I say we go ahead. It would be nice not to try to eat you." Riley says playfully, extending his fangs and making a fake growling noise as he comes towards me.
Dimitri of course steps between us pushing Riley back with force.
"Dimitri." I shout, slapping his arm as I move around him helping Riley off the ground. "I understand I carry your children but remember the last time you hurt him. I will do to you whatever you do to him."
"Yeah. I got princess as back up." Riley says cheekily over my head. Dimitri's eyes move to him giving him a deadly glare before back down to my face softening.
"I didn't do that because of the babies. I did that because as my mate it will happen automatically. A protective instinct is something that we feel without wanting it. Just as you did that night when you took a bullet for me. You didn't even like me very much at the time Emery. So deny me for as long as your body will allow. But I will be here protecting you. I am not letting you go again."
The next few weeks become a steady routine. Dimitri has been true to his words. He has been following me around and demands I sleep in the same room as him because he has been in touch with vampires that have carried. Our babies are very different. Even to how I grew. I was part fairy which means my steady yearly aging is not the same as the babies. They are mostly vampires and if they do have any of the fea genes it will be smaller than mine. The likelihood is as the vampires have informed Dimitri. These babies could come any time. They will then grow at an unnatural rate until finally stopping.
Truth be told I hate it but i want to be beside him. I don't let him touch me but every morning I wake up with his arm hung over me, his hand on my stomach. For the few minutes I pretend to still be asleep I take in his body against my back. His steady breathing against my neck. His protective large hand over me and our children. I allow in the weakness of wanting him so much. Then each day I push him as far away as possible. Using the experiment with Riley as even more of an excuse.
"Game day princess. Are you ready for this?" Riley says putting an arm around my shoulder. "You are not feeling great today?"
"I'm fine. Just massive." I try to smile but my low back is killing me. A throbbing pain that shoots around to my stomach. I keep moving down the many steps to the cells below. It feels like it takes me forever but Riley stays at my side taking the steps slow and steady with me.
"You sure you want to do this today? You look like you should be sitting down."
"Honestly it's fine. It's time." Riley nods in agreement. He has learnt to inject himself but the first few times he ripped at everything. He ended up stark naked and I had to turn to not see his man hood. Hanging proud between his legs.
He didn't lust for me but said he felt so powerful and hulk like it was just a reaction. So now wisely he has gym shorts and no top on. Taking off his watch and emptying his pockets onto a bench in the far corner. Close to where I stand holding the wall to steady myself. I take a few good breaths as my back throbs that bit more. Putting my free hand over my stomach. Beasty baby as i have nicknamed the one that rarely stops kicking. Even as I assume they sleep. It's like a light tapping against my side.
"Princess?" RIley says from inside the cell. I nod, taking a breath and pressing the button to close his cell. Putting the remote down on the chair next to his top and belongings.
I walk towards his cell keeping myself firmly in the middle of the room and out of his reach. My nails are not sharp enough as I have cut them back ready for the babies. I use the small kitchen knife to prick a small hole into my index finger. I turn it watching the large drop of blood fall to the floor. Funny, the floors wet.
"Riley?" I say as another moment of pain stings through my back and this time circles fully around to the front. It feels as though my hip bones are being crushed. I fall to the floor, dropping the knife along the way and landing painfully on my knees and hands bracing the bump away from the impact.
"Emery." Riley gasps. "Shit, princess you need to get the remote."
"Can't." I say through heavy breathing. How long has my back hurt now? Well it hurt most the pregnancy but really felt intense? Well most of yesterday. I remember thinking how uncomfortable I was after lunch. Has this been labour? How the hell did I not know? We feel pain but i have found i have a good fresh hold for the amount i can take. "Babies."
"No you don't. Emery listen to me. Breath."
"I am breathing." I say back with a stronger tone than I have ever used with Riley.
"Good fight princess. You've got this but you cannot do this alone."
"My blood …. You are not lusting after it." I feel a surge of relief that the experiment has worked. That my now great friend wont want to suck me dry if anything was to happen. Well it's happening so I hope Riley can handle the amount of blood that is about to happen.
Riley chuckles. "Yeah it worked princess but now sort your shit out and we need to get you some help."
The pain isn't even completely passing now. Just less intense for a minute maybe two before it starts up again. With this one I feel like I am baring down. Nope, I feel like my body is pushing.
"They are coming."
"O hell no they aint. Keep them in there. You are not having me locked in this cell and doing this without help. Where the fuck is Dimitri?" Riley is pulling at the bars even as the smell and noise of his hands sizzling against them. He must let go because he is bent down on the floor now. Eye level with me if i lift my head. My vision blurry through water building in my eyes and the pain. "Emery. Princess. Get me out. I can help you."
I grind my teeth and slow my breathing that wants to build rapidly. A scream wants to rip my throat and leave it raw. I hold it all in shaking my head at him. When the pain turns manageable I turn myself over slowly. Positioning as i lower my underwear below my dress so Riley, poor man doesn't have to see this.
"Babies coming." I say before the next one and this time. As my body pushes I do too. Why is it my chest aches for Dimitri more than ever before. So this time I allow the cry to escape me. The tears fell down my face because I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for him to hold onto the first time. He told me he loved me and by god I love the man. I love the man who kidnapped me but I have to be enough. I wasn't and I can't feel that again.
These babies I am everything. Not a toy, a captive or a daughter to show off. I am their mother and I will do everything in my power to be the best I can. Yet right now I know Dimitri would hold me. His words of love would ease some of the pain. Even if I am not enough it is what I yearn for in this moment of weakness. Us sharing this precious moment with each. Each agonising holding of breath I push down. I scream his name out and it comes as a demanding roar. Even though I haven't cried out much, it leaves my throat painfully sore and tight.
Riley continues to speak words of how I can do this. In between hurting himself trying to get out of the cell. His shouting for help. He sounds desperate and I want to ease him between pushing but I have to catch my breath and stop the heavy drumming of my heart in my ears.
"Dimitri." I whisper so faintly even my ears barely hear it this time. My voice is so hoarse and dry.
Beasty baby kicks my side and reminds me it's time to push again. Let's get you babies out. We've got this. Just us three. Yet I want it to be four.