Burned: Chapter 1
I'm staring at an opal and red ribbon envelope with my name on it dreading what's inside. I open the card and in perfect calligraphy says ‘You are invited to the engagement party of Ms. Isidora Bellafonte and Mr. Tobias Jackson at Bella manor, Friday September 21st 2020 7 pm’ My sister would have an engagement party, so she can have even more attention before her bridal shower, bachelorette party and wedding.
I find it funny that if a man is single or married he's addressed as ‘Mr’ but a woman's title all depends on her being married, or not. I find it even funnier that my sister is inviting me to this considering I haven't seen her or my parents in almost 7 years. I'm too much of a hassle to them, no longer a perfect daughter or sibling. The card has a handwritten note,
‘ His family is very big on family values and I want to show them we are a close family too. I know you hate us but for just one evening can you pretend you don’t? Can you please try to be your old self before you changed.’
I laughed hard at the ‘before you changed’ part as if I asked to be traumatized. I RSVP yes last week but now standing outside my old house with the RSVP in my hand I knew it was a mistake. I haven’t been around many people in the last 7 years. I mostly remain inside watching tv, reading or writing. I chose a career which I can do from home. I'm currently a bestselling author under the pseudonym ‘Trixie Pixie’. Some people would laugh at the fact that I write such heavly smutty books considering I get paralizing anxiety around groups of men and havent had sex since I lost my viriginity 7 years ago. I just finished the fifth book in my ‘Night Owl’ series. It’s about a female dominatrix who needs control in sex. She meets a man who wants to wait till marriage to have sex. Daisy shows him all the things they can do without having actual sex. My family knows nothing about my life. I knock on the door take a deep breath and my mother opens up,
“Dio mio Lucrezia have you not been watching yourself, you used to be so petite now look at you! Why are you wearing a pantsuit, you know I hate those? You're 15 minutes late.” My mother spits out disgusted,
“Madre im a size 14 not a fucken hippo, I haven't even been here a minute and you're already insulting me. If you want me to leave just say so, I knew this was a waste of my fucken time” I snap,
“Cara mia, look at you all grown up I've missed you so much, don't listen to your mother we are so happy you're here” my father tries to hug me but I step around him.
The house looks the same, my parents looks the same and even the party they're throwing looks like the dozens of parties we had here while I was growing up,
“Sorella! You're here I'm so glad you're here,” She pulls me into a hug while smiling sweetly,
“Please behave yourself you will not ruin this for me okay” she whispers into my ear as her hold on me gets tighter.
I said I was doing this for her but now I don’t know why, I know she's an actress now but she's becoming more like Ma everyday. I take a calming breathe,
“Oh I wouldn't miss your engagement for anything in the world” I spit out
“Sorella” I fake smiled,
“This is my fiance, Tobias Jackson” she introduced me to a stern looking man who was 6 feet in an armani suit, with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes
“He's a celebrity lawyer, that's actually how we met” she genuinely gushes.
I shake his hand and smile “Lucrezia or Lucy, I hope you are treating my sister well.”
“Nice to meet you Lucrezia, I’ve heard wonderful things about you, and I assure you that I plan to treat her like royalty until I die. Let me introduce you to my family.” Turning to gesture to the people behind him,
“This is my mother Linda, my father Jonathon, My oldest Brother, Joshua, my only sister Nina, my other brother Matthew and my youngest brother Jebadiah isnt here yet but you will be able to recognize him on his own” he says while I finish shaking his family's hands.
Holy shit! I'm already nervous around all these people, I don't fit in here at all, not with my family and certainly not with these picture perfect guests. Now you're telling me the lead singer and guitarist of the punk rock band ‘The Asshats’ will be here. Holy shit I feel my face turning red and I know if I don't calm down I’ll have a huge panic attack, Isidora grabs my arm and pulls me close. She's holding on tightly,
“ Are you alright you look really red” Nina asked concerned,
“Oh me Im fine, its embarrassing actually I have a condition called ‘Idiopathic Craniofacial Erythema’ or as some people call it extreme facial blushing” I blurted out in a rush
Breathe just breathe,
“Oh I totally know what that is thanks to Grey’s Anatomy” she laughs,
“Totally obsessed with that show, I'm just going to grab something to drink” I turn to to everyone,
“It was so nice meeting all of you and I look forward to continually getting to know all of you now that we're family, mi scusi” With that I walked away.
I make my way over to the bar,
“Double whiskey neat and please keep my glass full at all times ” I slid 100 to the bartender. Jebadiah is infatuated with Trixie Pixie, he has asked her on several dates, showed up at more than one book signing and the last one he tried to get me to dinner, he insists we would have amazing sex, hes so foreward I cant deal with him, I shouldnt be worried, the last time he crashed my book signing, we were attacked by a paparazzi mob, we hid behind a dumpster and he kissed me. It was an amazing kiss but I don't date, especially not someone who is such a manwhore and in the spotlight everyday. I know when Jebadiah has walked in not because I see him but because all the girls in the room start going nuts. Jebadiah is beautiful. He has a neon green mohawk and goatee, big piercing hazel eyes, chiseled jaw and high cheekbones. lean but fit and tattooed top to bottom. I love the band's music knowing he writes their songs only adds to his beauty. It's been awhile since grunge and punk rock have been popular, I have no doubt the leader of the band has a lot to do with their sales. My sister makes her way to me,
“Shit sorella, I think you should be an actress too with the performance you put on. Grazie, family means everything to the Jackson’s. I just want them to accept me Lucrezia”
She looked behind me nodding her head,
“Oh look the man whore of the family is finally here” she plastered a fake smile
“Jebadiah so glad you can join us, this is my sister Lucrezia, who is this lovely lady?
I finished my drink quickly and the bartender refilled it before I turned around,
CUZZO, he's too fucken beautiful, I held out my hand to shake his, he looked me up and down and smirked. Then he brought it to his lips, turned my wrist over, kissed the daisy tattoo and winked,
“Beautiful name” I gasped he couldn't know, he turned to his date,
“This is Leila, she’s a fan of mine” he winked at Isidora and she rolled her eyes.
Her fiance came up behind her and said,
“Let's introduce him to your parents, he's the only one they haven't met yet.” Isidora nodded
I felt the heat rise up in my cheeks again while I allowed myself a moment to take in his beautiful fitted 3 piece pinstripe suit we match! I down my second drink and the bartender gave me another refill,
“Good boy” I whispered as I turned around.
“Are you coming Trixie?” Jebadiah whispered in my ear and I dropped the glass with a gasp.
“LUCREZIA!” Isidora whisper screamed,
“CUZZO, Issy it was an accident” I whisper my face redder than a tomato
“ No need to be upset Issy, I knocked into her hand completely my fault” he winked at me again.
Holy shit I think I died and went down to Hell because no way Heaven would have something so wickedly delicious. He knows! How could he know? Did he know when he kissed me? Did he figure it out in 3 seconds when people haven’t figured it out in 5 years,
“Oh sorry Lucre” she muttered
“Shall we” he said to his date
I looked at the bartender and he already had a glass waiting for me. I gulped it down, waited for a refill then followed my sister, her fiance, the rockstar and his date to my sperm donors.
“Ma, Pa, this is Tobias’ youngest brother Jebadiah, his date Leila, these are my parents Leptis and Massimiliano '' They shook hands while my mother briefly looked at me with disgust,
“You have the most beautiful girls Mr and Mrs Bellafonte.” Jebadiah flattered them,
“Oh you're too kind, well she is A list actress.” Leptis responded
“Both of our girls are very beautiful,Thanks Jebadiah.” Massimiliano tried to save her comment.
I laughed, excused myself and walked away. I went by the bar and when no one was looking, I swiped a full bottle of Jack Daniels and headed up to the only safe spot here the treehouse. I went out back and was so glad it was still there, time had been kind to it. I climb the stairs and go inside, pull my lighter and joint out of my purse. I sit on my bean bag chair out my bottle in front of me and am about to light my joint when the door opens,
“Lucrezia” Jebadiah purrs,
“I thought you took me up here to fuck, not follow some other women you kept staring at all night. I'm okay with threesomes just not with ugly plain jane fatties” she snickered.
My body stiffened and I was gonna leave, I hate confrontation,
“Leila, Leave NOW” Jebadiah shouted,
He shoved her towards the door and she descended the stairs crying,
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
I looked up as he smiled at me and I momentarily melted. Im alone in a room with a guy fuck fuck FUCK, not just any guy a rockstar. I start to fidget while my eyes widened and Jebadiahs hand shoot up defensively as he takes a step back,
“My brother said some you’re uncomfortable in groups but you don't seem comfortable with me alone either.” He shifted,
“I just wanted to tell you I understand why the double life, and I won’t spoil your secret, but you have to finally go on a date with me” He looked at my lips and smiled,
“You and your mom dont get along well do you? You had 5 or 6 shots and a bottle of whiskey? Somehow I dont think it's because I know your secret. Its okay imagine being the only person in your family not apart of the family law firm, Tobias is the only supportive one, but since they care so much about family they put on the act” Jebadiah sighed,
“You don’t have to talk right now but I’d find it very rude if you didn’t share that lovely smelling joint with me, don’t worry I don’t have any cooties” he winked, I gasped and turned red again.
I passed him the joint and he smiled accepting it,
“I like your songs, the meaning in your lyrics they're so beautiful” I said meekly
“Thank you coming from a famous writer, that means alot. This is good shit, I think I need your hook up” he took a deep inhale before passing the joint back,
“Uh I have a license to grow personal weed” my voice barely a whisper,
“ You grew this?” he asked shocked
I nodded my head
“Shit beautiful, talented,kinky, you can drink people under a table, and you grow your own pot, women are you're after my heart!” He joked.
I just stood there wide eyes, mouth slightly open and my face burning red
“I like how easily you blush” he smirked he moved closer,
“Um. Uh. Y-You k-know you probably s-shouldn't have sent Leila home, I know it's presumptuous b-because you're you and well I'm a ‘fatty’ but nothing is going to h-happen between us” I stuttered,
“YOU'RE NOT FAT, DON'T EVER CALL YOURSELF THAT” he screamed causing me to shrink and pale,
“Sorry, SORRY,sorry I shouldn't have yelled,I can tell you're jumpy and yelling was not a smart idea but you're so beautiful I knew from the second I met you as Trixie you're the one I wanted to go home with” I passed him the joint
“I... uh... it’s ...um…---”
“ So you're not attracted to me” he moved closer grabbing my hair in between his fingers
“ Dont GASPS lie GASPs to GASPS me GASPS I GASPS saw GASPS the GASPS person GASPS you GASPS brought GASPS to fuck GASPs.” Im full out panicking,
“Shit Lucrezia breathe darling breathe. In with me, out with me, breathe with me, focus on me IN OUT, IN OUT,” he said as he helped me calm down.
Noone has ever helped me through a panic attack. They usually freak out, get upset with me or dont know what to do.
“H-how did you know about me being trixie?” I took a deep breath,
“Well you both like pant suits, have the same eye colours, I’ve dreamed about those lips since we last kissed and you both have a flower on your wrist after the main character.” he stared at my lips,
“I uh-uh you know I’m nothing like her, Daisy, I mean” I looked around nervously
“I can see some difference, but maybe there's some similarities too. When I kissed you, you freaked out, now when I come closer, you get uncomfortable. I can see the way you look at me, so maybe you need to be in charge too, kiss me.” he moved closer and smirked,
“I uh-uh-” he came closer,
“Kiss me” he looked at my lips,
“Uh” he licked his lips and I gasped.
I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him to me, I kissed him hard, our tongues fighting for dominance, he growled and I moaned. He gripped me by the waist and pulled me onto his lap. I felt his hard bulge under me and started to sweat, I can't do this I can’t I thought I could but, I shrieked and jumped off,
“DON'T TOUCH ME!” I screamed and started crying,
“Lucrezia, I'm sorry, I thought you were into it. I'm sorry I won't touch you. I am so sorry I’ll just go” he got up,
I cried harder and grabbed him,
“No I am sorry I'm just a mess” I sobbed,
“A hot mess.” he joked,
“ Would you be upset if I held you till you calmed down?” he inquired,
“I don’t know, I didn’t mean to freak out. I can't control it, it happens everytime a man touches me.” I looked away ashamed,
“Hey , hey look at me, no need to be ashamed, I'm okay with just sitting next to you, I’ll keep my hands to myself” he reassured me.
We sat there for a while as I hiccuped and calmed down, I grabbed his hand,
“7 years ago I was raped by 5 guys” I admitted, Jebadiah stiffened.