C1: Just Why?
‘Society could be called the devil but I’ve come to realize that the devil isn’t society nor is it the dominant Alpha’s that rule this world but nature itself. If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have changed anything because it was my hard lifestyle that brought to where I am today, being strong, independent and able to take care of what is reliant on me even with the fact that I’m always subjected to prejudice for being an Omega but do you know what? I don’t regret it, I don’t regret by birth, my sub-gender or even the mere fact that I’ve been raped not once not twice but three times. I heard that one of the things that made us human was the will to survive and a point specifically that I am referring to is that of a mother who live for their child.’
Wiping away the tears in my eyes, I raise the hand of my sleeping child before me. Currently, my bunny is asleep on a hospital bed and he has a fever not to mention the many bruises he got over the past few days.
Swallowing the saliva pooling in my mouth, I try my best to not cry but this is scaring me. My son is only seven and he has to suffer like this. He’s so small yet he has a tube up his nose due to lack of oxygen. He was fine this morning when I dropped him off at school but now, after three hours the two of us were in the hospital waiting on the results from his blood tests.
I made sure to take him every month to the clinic to get him checked out, especially two days ago when he fell and was suddenly full of bruises all over his legs and arms. The nurse on duty said that it wasn’t serious but looking at it now, I can’t help but feel that it’s because of me that they did not do a thorough check up on my baby.
I can literally feel my body buzzing and the grief overlaying my body. The doctor’s sudden entrance catches me off guard. I quickly stand up and look at him, with my hands folded together I ask him, “Doctor, please, please tell me what’s wrong with my son,” I say getting all teary-eyed again.
The doctor sighs, “Mr Park, I have to ask you a few questions before I give you the answer to my diagnosis, shall I?” he says motioning for me to sit down in the chair.
I sit down hesitantly because by the looks of it, something is not right, “Sure, please, anything,” I say hurriedly as I sit down.
Looking down at the chart in his hands he asks me, “Does your son catch colds easily?” I nod my head, “Yes he does.”
He nods as he writes something down, “And he has medicine for all the colds? Does his colds disappear easily but return just as easy?”
I nod my head as I recall his health history, “Yes, he had all his childhood illnesses already and caught the chicken pocks twice and when he had measles he got the German measles a week after. I’ve also been trying hard to feed him nutritious meals and supplying him with all the vitamins he needs but it’s not efficient as of recently and he used to do athletics since he loved running but had to stop because his energy levels decreased and he becomes short of breath.”
He continues to take down my words and soon after he says to me, “Is there perhaps any hereditary illnesses that run in your family?”
I shake my head confused, “After my sub-gender was revealed I was kicked out of the house and even when went to stay with my grandmother my uncles they…” I paused before continuing as I look away embarrassed after he opens his mouth. “Anyways, I left for the Omega Welfare Centre when I was thirteen and I don’t recall my family having any genetic problems, Doctor, please tell me, is my Yule going to be okay?” I ask him worriedly.
He sighs and says, “According to the test results your son doesn’t have enough blood cells in his body to produce blood and the blood also carries oxygen to all the organs so that is why he is short of oxygen and gets easily sick but that is just the surface of the diagnostics. In these two hours I’ve come to suspect that your son has leukaemia, if you would permit me, can we do a bone marrow test to clarify my suspicion since we weren’t able to get enough blood samples from your son?”
I sit back in the chair completely speechless… my Yule has leukaemia? What? Why? No one has it that I know of so how did my baby? My baby…? Why him? He did nothing! He didn’t even ask to be born yet I selfishly kept him and even after everything I tried, he still became inflicted of everything, from the shit that happened at school to him because of me and now, because I gave birth to him, his condition his far worse than anything… why is life treating my son so cruelly?
“Mr Park?” The doctor calls me back from my self-loathing. I looked up at him with red eyes and nod my head, “P-please do whatever you can to help my baby please doctor,” I say and he nods his head reassuringly, for some reason I’m so glad that he isn’t biased towards Omega’s.
“In that case Mr Park, I’d like to take a sample of your blood as well to see if it’s a match just in case,” he says and I nod my head in approval. I let him take my blood hoping for the best. When he takes his leave, I look down at my hands and cry.
The drops landing in my palms make me realize how weak I am. As his mother I couldn’t shield him, in kindergarten from those shitty teachers, nor could I from the parents telling their children to stop playing with him because his mother is the whore of society and now this, will I be able to protect my dawn that broke me through the gloom that shadowed my life?