Where Am I?
We pull up to a small cabin, it’s not what I expected. There’s flowers and plants dotted around the outside. I don’t see him being the green finger type, so I wonder if he has a gardener go in and do things for him. Although there isn’t really a garden of sorts. It’s just trees and wood. I can’t see any other cabins or houses; I can’t hear any other people. I don’t feel like I do when I’m at the pack house.
There I feel trapped, caged in. If I wanted to run, I would’ve been outrun in seconds, if one of those wolves decided to attack, I would have no chance there. I suppose here is the same though; Shawn would catch me in less than a second, but I don’t t feel enclosed here. I feel safe. However, I’m not sure if that’s the location or because of who I’m with.
“You just gonna stand there, or you actually coming in?” I look up to find Shawn had already taken both my bags inside and was stood in the doorway just watching. I headed over and squeezed past him when he didn’t move out of the way.
I took a look around and noticed little things that seemed out of place for him. Paintings on the wall, scatter cushions and throws on the sofa. Scented candles. I went over and smelt one, it was unlit, but it was an actual scented candle.
I glanced back over to him, to find him watching me again. I pick up the candle and hold it out, twisting it this way and that.
“It’s a candle Amber. You’ve never seen one before?” He asks sounding amused, and finally closing the door.
“I know what it is Shawn; what are you doing with it? Several of them in fact. Is this really your place?” He chuckles, picks both the bags back up and carries them out the open plan lounge area and down a hall, which I assume leads to the spare room I will be staying in, so I follow him.
“It’s been mine for the last six or seven years. Am I not allowed to have a candle?” I feel a little embarrassed now for mentioning the candles, but I am really intrigued, I can’t see him living here for six years.
“Yeah, of course, it’s just… scented candles, scatter cushions, potted plants? You just don’t seem like that type of guy.” He opens a door at the end of the hall and steps inside, allowing me more room to pass this time.
It’s neatly decorated, actually it looks like it came straight from a Good Homes magazine, I’m scared I’ll mess it up.
“Okay, no this isn’t your house. Where am I? The truth Shawn.” I look him square in the eye, so he knows I’m not just messing around this time.
“Amber this is my place. The truth is… when Vicky died, I went a little crazy and wrecked most of everything. While I was away Logan’s mom and some of the other pack members put it all back together and added a few things. Candles… scatter cushions. One of the old ladies comes and waters the plants outside. This is my house Amber. I wouldn’t lie to you. I just haven’t lived here that much in the past six months. I don’t think there’s anything that me or Vicky actually bought, here anymore.” He drops the bags at the bottom of the bed and opens the wardrobe doors, showing me the inside. I feel really bad now, and wish I hadn’t said anything now, but it does make more sense now. I stay quiet while I look around the room more and walk over to the window, taking in the view of the beautiful woods beyond.
“The wardrobes empty so just unpack and make yourself at home. The bathroom is just the next door down and the door after that is mine. It’s small but I didn’t think you would mind that. Just remember that we are on pack land, so sometimes pack members do run past while they are out but I’ll tell them to all keep a wide berth.” I nod my head not really knowing what to say.
“Right then, I’ll go fix us some food, there’s a fresh deer hanging out back…” I spin around quickly to see him smiling at me.
“Kidding, it’s already in the fridge. Just come out when you’re ready.” He hesitates at the door, seeming like he wants to say more but is unsure, so I beat him to it.
“Thanks Shawn, for inviting me here. You have a beautiful home.” He only taps the door frame and bends his head towards me, before turning and walking back down the hall towards the lounge and kitchen area.
I take my time unpacking my bags, not that I actually bought that much, I was unsure of how long Shawn was expecting me to have to stay here for. I didn’t know how long it would take for them to get the rogue problem under control, of how long he thought I would be in danger for. Eventually I would have to go home though, my parents would never just except that that I was staying with Alex for weeks on end.
I was hesitant to leave the room though, we were friends and I knew I was safe with him here, but he knew I had feelings for him; I had laid them out for him to see, however I had also said I needed time away from him, to move on. But where am I now? Living in his house with him. My heart had dared to hope a few times with his reaction to certain things, Ryan being one of them, his worrying over the guy at school, him wanting me safe, but I knew better.
I just needed to remember… He wasn’t mine, he had belonged someone else and I was someone else’s too.
Both of our fated destinies, ruined forever.
Maybe we were just two souls destined to be alone.