Making my way down the street I swept my eyes left and right trying to see if I recognized anything around me but nothing seemed familiar. With it being dark out didn't help with matters. Everything looked the same.
Shit, I thought just now realizing I’m lost and the only person who could help I just cussed out.
I mean can you blame me he kidnapped me, more than likely drugged me and brought me to an unknown location with other dudes there. I hoped and prayed he didn't do anything to me.
I was still a virgin and was saving myself for when Kevin got his mind right. We was going through a rough patch right now but I had no doubt things will get back to how it was, he was just stressed trying to provide for us.
“Yea keep telling yourself that bullshit if you want” my annoying conscience said, telling me something that deep down inside I knew was true but refused to acknowledge it.
Kevin loved me, if he didn't he wouldn't have been with me for as long as he has or brought me home with him. If he didn't care he would've left me back home but he didn't and was even ready to fight my dad for me . If that wasn't love I didn't know what was.
“Yea ok keeping thinking that if you want but you and I both know that ain’t true. He did that so he could get you here and control you, don't be a fool.”
Whatever I thought deciding to ignore my conscience, it's just my own doubts about the situation coming back. I at first doubted that he wanted to be with me foreal, him being older than me plus me not giving it up to him I knew he could have anybody he wanted. Somebody older and more experienced, I still didn't know what he saw in me.
I wasn't all that, I was one of those slim thick chicks. I had thighs and ass even if it wasn't the fattest of asses I still had some that was nice and round fitting my small 5'4 frame perfectly.
However, when it comes to breast, I was apart of the iddy bitty titty committee. I just started filling out an A cup. To me, I was average so the fact he was on me the way he was had me from jump street. Now I was love sick determined to keep him.
Pulling out my phone I just remembered I had, I unlocked it seeing I had 30 missed calls and 40 texts all from Kevin. Not wanting to worry him any longer and not really being in the mood to argue I called him back.
"You got 20 fucking mintues to get here or that's yo ass" was all he said before hanging up in my face.
I let go of the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. He could be worse I thought. The conversation was over so quickly I didn't even get a chance to ask for directions from him.
I wished more now than ever that he would've got me a better phone, the little cheap phone I had wouldn't even pull GPS up. Fearing calling him back will make things worst I decided to ask people along the way as I walked.
Finally making it to our little beat up apartment I took a couple of deep breathes preparing mysef for whatever Kevin had coming my way. I was way over the 20 minute limit having to stop and ask multiple people for directions along they way that 20 minutes turned into 45 minutes easily. Knowing he was probably pissed over what happened earlier, I decided to slow my roll. No sense in rushing into the unknown plus it gave Ke some time to think.
After today do I really want to keep doing this. I love him and I know he love me but he can’t keep putting his hands on me. I just couldn’t find the strength to leave him or even think about leaving him. We can work this out I know we can.
Walking up the stairs I could hear music blasting meaning Kevin was having another party, already knew it was mad people in here fucking up what little bit we did have, they are always down to party.
I knew they all had they own places but they insisted on coming to theirs and fucking shit up. I didn't like any of his friends. They were a bunch of rude sons of bitches, all of them. Every time they came over it was always some shit.
Always, either they was fighting each other, breaking shit, or starting some bullshit between me and Kevin. It's never a dull moment with them around and I hated it, sometimes I want to be alone with just me and Kevin. Picture that I thought, pushing my nerves aside I walked in the house, the door unlocked again after I keep telling him a thousand times to keep the door locked.
I could've been a stickup kid running up in there to take everybody for everything including their lives. Shaking my head dismissing it not wanting to cause a scene knowing I was already in hot water I walked in locking the door behind me. Turning making my way to the frontroom I was heart broken at what I seen.
Here I was worried about him when it was clear he wasn’t thinking about me.
What the fuck is this shit I thought, looking at the scene before me. Stepping more into the room I couldn't believe what I saw but then again I could. The house was trashed like college party trashed. There were chairs face down on the floor, and so many red cups laid scattered around the room. In the corner, there was a pile of blunt guts like nobody thought of using the garbage can.
I didn't even want to go in the rest of the house knowing it will be just as bad if not worse. He never watched what his people was doing around the house, the shit was so annoying. I was so busy looking at the damage I didn't notice the couple on the couch, that was so close to each other you couldn't see their faces. It was like they were one but the moment they separated I saw red.
There was Kevin with some bitch on his lap just chilling like shit is cool. Does he not see me standing there? Do he not care? I thought as tears welled up in my eyes.
“See I told you, he is not for you.” My conscience said to me as I stood there waiting for him to acknowledge my presence. Most dudes when they caught cheating they tried to explain themselves, a This not what it looks like would go a long way right now. He didn’t even give a fuck I was right there watching. Pissing me off.
"Kevin, what is this? Who the fuck is this?" I asked raising my voice every sentence feeling brave, and not giving a fuck. As loud as I was a crowd came to see what was happening. Nosy fucking people.
“It’s time for y’all to go NOW” I said bucking up. I was sick of them being here anyways.
The last person I wanted to see came and stood front in the center of the forming crowd but at that point, I didn't give a fuck. Here I was stressing about getting back to him and he in our house with the next bitch.
I swear I hated all his friends and some of his family like Mac for example. He is one of the main ones always in Kevin's ear instigating saying whatever to get Kevin going. It's like he gets off on watching us go at it. Then when things get physical he never try to break it up he just adds fuel to the fire.
From the looks of it, tonight is going to be one of those nights. I really fucking hate this dude I thought rolling my eyes.
"You gone let her talk to you like that cus?" Mac said not being able to mind his own fucking business. See this is what I'm talking about always have to say something like what does this have to do with you? Everybody in there knew was together yet was cool with the fuckery that was happening on the couch. I hated all of them bad.
"Chill Mac I got this. Baby this not what it look like we was just talking" he said unconvincing, he didn't even move the girl off his lap. Now that the words was coming out of his mouth it just pissed me even more. Making my face screw up instantly.
"Just talking? Just talking with her in your lap? Get the fuck outta here with that. WHY IS SHE ON YOUR LAP?" I screaming not caring at this point. I felt myself moving closer and closer to them.
The love of my life was hugged up with some bust down all lovey-dovey on the couch in front of everybody embarrassing me all while telling me it's not what it looked like. Did I look like boo boo the fool?
"Aww, cus she screaming at you like you a bitch," Mac said busting out laughing causing a few people in the crowd to laugh too. Clowning him making a few more jokes drawing more laughter from the crowd that had gotten bigger cause now everybody wants to know whats going on, some even pulled out their phones like I gave a fuck.
I don’t know what came over me but before I could stop myself I had my hands in the girl hair dragging her off his lap. These muthafuckas had me all the way fucked up.
I could tell Kevin was pissed but so was I. I didn’t care about screaming on him in front of everybody or acting a fool. Standing to he feet he pushed making me loose my balance and falling back on my ass. That didn’t mean shit to me cause I was back on my feet ready for whatever. All my anger seemed to come bursting out as I watched him help her up, unable to stop myself I jumped on his back making him falling over, knocking her back down with him throwing wild punches. Only after becoming out of breath did I stop. Backing up I was ready for whatever he had coming my way.
This wouldn't be the first time I caught him in some bitch face or some bitch in his. Every time, we was out and about so it could've been a just "in passing" meet like Kevin said they was. He had friends before me and I didn't have a reason not to believe him but this right here is a way different situation. It was right in my face.
Kevin who was just got back up was giving me a look that I knew all to well. I fucked up but I didn't know how nor did I care. He embarrassed me so I did the same to him. Plus he was sitting up in here with some other bitch and Im the wrong one?
Leaning over he whispered something in the bitch ear that was on his lap which made her nod her head and stand up. Without thinking twice I broke out running trying to make it to her but the crowd blocked me. Turning around I seen Kevin coming towards me, without thinking twice I made a mad dash for the stairs. I could not and would not take two ass whoopings in one day. It was all good when I was mad but now hell no.
I still had dry blood on my face as it was my small frame might not be able to take that.
“PSs bet we could beat him” my conscious spoke. Ignoring it I kept moving. I knew what was in store for me.
I was running as fast as my short legs could carry me but I could hear Kevin footsteps right behind me. With my heart damn near beating out of my chest, I made it upstairs running in any room just in time to slam the door in his face.
I hurried and locked the door, standing there with my hand on my heart trying to calm down, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t catch my breath for nothing in the world.
Next thing I heard was a loud boom up against the door like the sound you would hear when somebody is slamming their body up against it.
"Open up the door Sash I just want to talk I promise," he said now just knocking lighting on the door once he realized it was locked.
"Please baby open the door I'm not gone do nothing," he said in the sweetest voice. I didn't know what to do, half of me wanted to open the door wanting to get an explanation that I could believe but on the other hand, everything in me is telling me not to open the door.
That dude was right I am a fucking fool. What am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. I thought going over to the window seeing how high up it is. It was way too high for my taste, backing up I ran my hands through my hair and held them on top of my head pulling my hair back completely panicked at this point.
The only way out was the door but at the door was Kevin and I wasn't risking it.
"You know I love you right? You still love me?" he asked through the door. I did still love him but my fear of an ass whooping outweighed all of that.
"Oh, so you not gone answer? So you don't love me no more?" without waiting for me to answer he continued
"huh Sasha you don't love me? You got somebody else or something. Speaking of who the fuck was that nigga from earlier? Are you fucking that nigga? Huh Sasha?" he said now screaming fired up all over again.
"No I'm not I love you, but it’s clear you don’t love me. Who was that bitch you was just with” I said feeling a little brave.
"open up the door so we could talk about it," Kevin said all of a sudden calm again. Completely ignoring my question.
"Kevin I don't know.." I started but was cut off
"you don't know what? Open the door that's all you have to do." he said trying to persuade me, but I wasn’t convinced.
“Promise you not going to hurt me” I said trying to plan my next move.
“I promise now open the door”