Kira had not realized until she was on the floor that everything she had learned until now had been completely useless. What Nightcore taught was protection; muscle memory to protect 'that person' and 'that person' alone. Everything drilled into her mind was to make her further a slave, to devote herself entirely to 'that person' at least in body. Kira was right every decision she ever made was never hers, but the will of 'that person' and the blood within her.
John threw her to the wall once again, breaking, but not for long, a rib. I'm really not human anymore... Learning an entirely new style of fighting one based on survival, on the preservation of one's own self. Could she do it? That's fine. I have nothing to protect anymore. Deciding for her own, choosing what she wanted: without chains, without doubt; confusion of mind and heart--is her heart clear though? Without facts and knowledge she couldn't be sure, not of anything and she wouldn't want to make the wrong choice and regret it later. Maybe she's over-thinking it, but could it be blamed?
All that Kira has suffered, endured, witness who could blame her for this doubt, even of her own sanity? Just the other day she sat in her living room reading a book and for a moment just a moment she thought Emily passed her. Kira ran to their room, hesitated because she had not been in their since her death, entered and still believed she saw Emily for that moment. PTSD? Kira stood again, though John had had enough of this one-sided fight. No motivation at all. Big talk, but you can't get revenge with a conscious Kira. She attacked again, John threw out his arm and rammed it into Kira sending her to a wall once again.
"Just stop--you're not going to win no matter how many times you come after me. You think you can get strong just because you say so, but without conviction to the act, by whatever mean necessary, its useless."
"II don't want it to be by whatever means necessary!" Kira coughed.
She wants to get revenge against the person who killed Emily! The want is there the hatred and rage for taking away what was precious to her, yet why when she imagines the face of the enemy there is nothing? Kira has no idea who was actually responsible for killing her lover. John walked over to Kira and sat beside her at she caught her breath.
He's seen it before, people die because their wills were too weak and it doesn't even have to do with the action, but what they are feel beforehand. Something is blocking Kira's conscious either in the action or her feelings towards the whoever this person is. He was no different once and in the end he got his revenge and was not miserable, but found a happy life within Octave. Revenge is different for every person, but Kira doesn't seem the type to be capable of killing someone out of hatred, or hating someone for that matter, at least not this person.
"I had a wife once, when I was human." He let out a heavy sigh. "She was killed by Jack the Ripper a vampire, well he was. I would have died of blood loss had a Pureblood not come along."
Explains why the Ripper suddenly stopped actually. Kira was not given a choice, it was taken from her as was the reason she wanted to remain human. It was precious to her, to be mortal, but without a reason without knowing what it meant to be human there was hardly a point. John knows however Kira has a choice as to what to do with this power, however small it is, yet no one can tell her what is right or wrong. At least he knew her killed her, Kira wasn't even sure it was 'that person', only a favorable impression it was.
She doesn't want to make another mistake. A single person is connected to the Nation and knew about her--time to take a trip to Spain. Kira found the house with ease, seeing at Octave knew exactly where she lived (not where she was however). The mansion was a reflection of Catherine's ego: big, luxurious and annoyingly brightly-colored. Top of the biggest hill, in the most expensive city whose name Kira could not pronounce and all the while made it easy to find.
She didn't bother knocking on the front gate, nor greeting the local guardhouse, rather she jumped over the wall and moved instantly to the door itself. Sometimes being half vampire has its privileges--Kira downed another half-dozen blood tablets-- at other times it sucks. She knocked on the door and had it opened to an older butler with a mean expression.
'May I help you?'
He said in three different languages, the only one Kira understood having been Vampiric.
'I'm here for Catherine, tell her Kira is here to see her.'
The butler frowned, what rudeness this child with sunglasses has. Demanding the Duchess in this manner calls for a harsh punishment; nonetheless its strange that this child resembles...Elisabeth called from the top of the stairs then opened the ajar door all the way, knocking Kira over again. She was right all along!
"I'm sorry about our butler." Elisabeth jumps around eagerly, "Mother hired him to make sure any unwelcome-d guests don't come when she's gone."
That answered Kira's first question. There was slight disappointment in the Demi-human's posture, not that she was excited to see Catherine, but there was a hope questions would be answered. Quite frankly Kira expected she'd try to kill Catherine today if the vampire was involved with Emily's death. Now she had to deal with Elisabeth, but unlike her mother she was certainly more pleasant company--actually an exact opposite of her mother.
"I guess I have some explaining to do."
Elisabeth and her were never close before, but maybe it was because one was human and the other vampire. Knowing Jake, he probably told Elisabeth all about Kira since they have been friends since they were kids. How time has changed them both, one more than the other. Elisabeth poured tea and didn't ask why Kira had yet to remove her sunglasses.
The Demi-human began her story from the day she was banished, but Elisabeth had cut her off, stating she wanted to know Kira from the very beginning. Kira began to hate telling about her life--she doesn't want people to pity her, to look at her any differently than what they already do. Horrible things happen to people all the time and Kira knows compared to some she hasn't suffered at all and has no right to complain.
To her honesty, she lived a rather decent life with small pockets of problems, they've made her who she is. A slave becomes a servant, a servant grows into a woman, a woman breaks from the chains that bound her. Is that what she's done? Kira laughed silently to herself, who is she to fool--'that person', continues to have a hold on her. Elisabeth sat quietly, listening to Kira's words; wanting to understand the friend Jake described and see the woman her mother warned against.
She was both: kind-hearted and considerate, yet a reckless and very dark-aura-ed. She wished Kira and her had gotten to know each other before all of this--they would have been great friends because now it seems that may not be possible with what the world is turning to: a friend today could try to kill you tomorrow.
"Why did you want to see my mom today?"
Kira gave a defeated laugh, "You mom is good with information. She may know or have heard about who had killed Emily."
Elisabeth sipped her tea, "I haven't heard anything from her or my dad, maybe he could help you when he gets back."
This information further leads the Demi-human to more questions than answers. Elisabeth stated that until now she had thought she made a mistake with Kira in London therefore it could not have been her either. Catherine was the only sure person to know where I was; Syndicate controls London. Elisabeth leans forward and poked Kira in the forehead to prevent any wrinkles from forming, then she took notice of a section of Kira's roots under her ear.
"You're stressing yourself too much, now you're getting old lady hair; at least that's what I heard happens to humans when they are overworked or stressed."
Kira looked at her quizzically then took out her phone and flipped the camera. Sure enough under her left ear was an entire section of pure white. That can't be good.
"Guess vampires don't have to worry about getting old huh?" Kira laughed.
The Demi-human laughed it off, but inside she was screaming. Her hair, it changed when she stood on the brink and it could only mean one thing: the person who is 'Kira' is soon to disappear. Becoming a vampire would mean becoming something she is not, but hasn't that already happened? Doing anything to get revenge, living for only the reason of killing, is that who she is?
"Hey...what kind of person am I to you?"
Elisabeth frowned, and averted her eyes--just as she thought: Kira is fragile. The vampire set down her tea and leaned forward saying, "I have a gift, it enables me to enter someone's mind and read their memories and thoughts. I can't change anything, but if you let me I can tell you what kind of person you are."
The real answer Kira wants is 'who' she is. Someone whose identity was determined by others, continues to depend on everyone, but herself and is thus lost. Elisabeth does not want to give Kira an answer, but after hearing what has happened it would be horrible to leave her, whether she deserves it or not. Kira shut her already hidden eyes and allowed Elisabeth to press her forehead against her own. She's cold. The vampire felt her conscious dive into Kira's, into a pitch-black void with no light other than what her imaginary body produced.
Normally the owner of the mind is suppose to be here meaning that inside, there is amiss. Elisabeth called out again and was met with a shadow sitting on the ground. She walked around and realized her feet were nearly submerged in water. I must have fallen into the back part of her mind. This was something she would like to leave quickly--a person's inner world, as Elisabeth had named it, is not something an outsider should intrude on.
Its a place where all their fears and doubts, all their reasoning takes places and though a person only reaches it at death, its where 'a person's life flashes before their eyes'--this is where a person dreams. Huh? She was unable to leave. Cautiously Elisabeth approached the shadow that progressed into a figure then distinctly a person with snow-white hair and a crimson scarf. She thought it was Kira, but then again the sinister aura it exhibited made her re-think. Nonetheless the vampire reached, wanting to know just 'what' existed in the depths of Kira's mind.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
The voice was everywhere, a woman's, that carried a warning, but not threat. Other than Elisabeth and this person there was no one else to be seen.
She looked behind, "I suggest you leave quickly, child of Catherine, you don't belong here."
In front of the person was doctor Emily Addy, Kira's deceased lover. How can she be here! Emily is dead, Kira saw it, Kira felt it and yet why is someone whose dead existing in a mind?! This person was not Kira's imagination, she acted on her own and certainly would not be in this 'void' if she was fake. The doctor caressed the head of the person she stood in front of then hugged them with very sad eyes. She stood and walked around the person and stood between the two.
"Who are you?" Lizzy asked cautiously.
Emily smiled sliding her hands into the lab coat. Just the ghost of Christmas past, wondering until acknowledged, if ever acknowledged. Elizabeth glanced towards the person behind and was fixated on the fact their back was as broad as Kira's--that person...
"There are things Kira didn't include when she told you her story, but there are things she also does not know...that was my mistake."
Emily also looked back to the white-haired girl and her gaze dropped even more.
"Its not my place to say too much, however there are things she should not fear from within her. Right now she is very fragile, so please...keep your mother away from her."
Elisabeth wanted to see what this 'ghost' was 'protecting'.
The younger spoke suspicious, "Funny, she told me the same about you too."
Emily continued to wear her smile, a gust of wind followed by flame began to race towards Elisabeth pushing her conscious further and further out. The white-haired figure stood, and turned enough for only a single eye to be seen--it was and was not Kira. It shared her face, yet its persona was nothing like her and if it was her, it reflected something neither human nor vampire.
"I'll say it once: do not come back...I want her to live as peacefully as possible, for as long as she can."