Chapter 28: Not Quite Love
He leads me down the hall and pass the commons Area.
Oh Lord, not another make out session. I won’t be able to contain myself after the first time!
I am literally being dragged by him. We caught a few suspect eyes leaving the café. I’m sure in about now, rumors will start circulating the school like a virus.
We finally stop.
At my locker.
What is he-?
“Okay,” Xander announces in the dim and very empty hallway, “Is this better?”
Oh, so that’s what this is about. He may think he went too far with me.
“Xander, I was okay in the cafe, I am just socially awkward.” I cross my arms over my chest, it’s been catching a lot of air today.
He steps closer to me, “You seem to open up more when we’re alone.” He takes my hand, “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
That worried look on his face is literally begging to be kissed. But I will not give in to temptation again!
Although it’s gnawing at me like crazy.
“I’m sorry, it’s just-” I use my free hand to tuck my falling hair behind my ear, “I have never done anything with anyone, so I didn’t know how to talk to you after -um last night.”
Xander looks up from the ground and into my eyes, “Really?”
It’s a bold statement, I’m sure, Mr. Suave, “I don’t think so, not that I remember.”
A pleased expression washes over his face, “No wonder,” His grip on my hand tightens, “I thought, maybe, at least you and As-”
“Don’t,” I push a finger to his mouth, “Please, I mean, don’t say his name,” He removes my finger slowly, “Please.”
He chuckles then lowers his face to mine, “I find it hard to control myself when you beg like that.”
I flush, “Xander Endo,” His hands go to my sleeves, before pulling me against him, “We’re at school.”
“I don’t care.”
“Have some shame!” I chuckle trying to unravel from his grip. He only turns me around and begins tickling me, leaning us onto my locker. I attempt to control my laughter, but the way he’s pressing his fingers into my sides makes it impossible. He stops, allowing me to breathe.
“Do you feel better now?” He bellows into my ear, taking me back to last night.
“Yes,” I answer. He brushes his face against mine. It’s prickly with after shave. The sensation makes my hairs stand on end.
Even through all the pleasure, I am still pained with the fact that I haven’t told him about Ezra. Or Aster...Asteroth.
And that, I feel isn’t going to end as smoothly as I would hope.
A lot less desire and a lot more resentment.
“Xander.” I say, well, whisper, because I didn’t want to say it. Sooner or later, we are going to have to talk about it.
“Saphyre,” He mumbles into my neck, planting skin rising kisses to it.
I wish he would quit. Teasing. Me!
I sigh craning my neck, “I need tuh-” A horrible warmth flows throughout my entire body. “We need...” I cannot talk and listen to the sound of his lips on my skin at the same time. It’s just not working.
“We need to leave.”
“No,” I manage to chuckle, “You need to stop.”
He pauses, planting one last kiss, “Alright, what is it?”
I turn in his arms, he doesn’t let me loose from his grip, “I need to talk to you tonight, somewhere private, not my house or yours.”
Xander gives me a concerned look, “Okay, I can do that, is everything okay?”
I nod placing both hands on his shoulders, “I’m okay,” I think, “We just need to talk.”
He smiles then tips my chin up, “Whatever you want,” He then lowers his lips to mine. Somehow the gesture isn’t so much in lust, but care. Not quite love.
It’s close enough.
He releases from me slowly. “You name a time and a place and I’ll be there.”
The cold air of the hallway swallows me away from the warmth I was once in.
Yes, you may be there, Xander. Although you may not like what you will hear.
In fact, you may never feel the same about me again.