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Chapter 12

Nope! I'm definitely about to die!

There was a kinda twisted smile on his face as I leapt up after hearing his voice. How will I explain myself, my cheeks burned hotter than they ever did before, my ears were filled with the noise from my pounding heart. The words I thought earlier ringing true. 'Perpetual embarrassment! Or death from humiliation! That's what I thought!, oh how right I was.

"Alpha maybe give us a heads up before you interupt some girlie chat next time." Quinn seethed out. I know she's as annoyed as me but probably for different reasons.

"Well not being an ass or anything but you should have caught on to my presence being a great Alpha and all, don't you think!" He dragged out the word great as he jibed Quinn getting to the real root of her annoyance his smirk of satisfaction growing.

"Though its understandable, after all its me, and there's not too many who can catch me, I'd say... none!." He said, his male bravado shinning through.

I was cringing so badly, these two were at it again, though I know it was just friendly banter between them. I was just dying to know how much he had overheard, wishing I was anywhere but here and hoping that it was nothing but knew well things had a way of not working in my favour.

Somehow, so far I have not made eye contact with him.

OK you can do this!

"Alpha." I said in a soft timid voice my cheeks glowing. Both Alpha's looked at me again. Then when I thought of his reason for being here fear clutched onto me again. "Do they wish to see me now?" I questioned, afraid of the answer.

"No not till tomorrow, there was a delay in their arrival and obviously its too late to get into anything now." His eyes trailed over me like I was a piece of meat ready and willing for him to devour. As he spoke my traitorous body did the usual and reacted to his presence, it was lit up. I tensed then, hoping that the feeling would dissipate and I could walk away from this without any more embarrassing moments, wishful thinking!

That sardonic smile on his face made me shiver and my body shook with the intensity, his smile grew with satisfaction. He knew my reaction was towards him and even Quinn raised an eyebrow.

What is this? I could cry now from shame.

"Relax, I will come get you tomorrow before you speak to them. Before I forget Nathaniel should be back shortly he's been on boarder duty, awaiting the important guests arrival. You can stay here until then. Quinn will stay with you, ok?" He looked to Quinn and she agreed.

"Of course there is nowhere I would rather be." She replied.

"Great! Then I will see you tomorrow ladies." He winked at me and the stupid buttflies went dancing in my tummy, again! . I swear its like I'm a hormonal teenager around him. I couldn't even help myself when I smiled at his cheeky behaviour. So I pursed my lips trying to hide it and looked away.

The next thing I knew he was right beside me his hands on my face, sending shocks through me. With a thumb to one cheek and fingers to another and he squeezed gently making my lips pop out. "Dont do that." He said with fervour and I looked up into those heated eyes of his, I could really get lost in them.

Quinn cleared her throat and I jumped away from him, my heart pounding even more if thats possible. Then my whole body turned to the window and I stared out like my life depended on it. He laughed that beast laughed, I really need a rock to hide under. I thought a whole house would have been enough to hide in but no! No no no, here I am mortified again in my own house, I can't call it a home no, but even my house wasn't enough to hide me away, fantastic!

"Night Quinn." He says and turns to leave, relief washing over me.

"Yup." Quinn replies.

"GOODNIGHT BUNNY!." He shouts then laughs as he shuts the front door.

I slump down on the sofa pulling a cushion to my face and scream into it letting out my frustrations. The next minute Quinn drops down beside me laughing her heart out, when I say laugh I mean a fit of laughter. When she finally gets a breath, about five minutes later she tries to get something out.

"Oh my -- G- Godess!" She mumbles between breaths, then starts rolling around laughing again, honestly I could kill her right now, if looks could kill she'd be in trouble, as I glare at her. Everyone always said I had a sweet sunny disposition but after this I might just have resting bitch face permanently burned into my face!

"Are you done yet? Or am I in for another show?" I asked so annoyed.

"OK, ok I'm sorry!" She puts her hands up gives me a wink then a hug and sits back breathing deeply.

"Do you think he heard any of our conversation? Omg Quinn, I'm gonna die! This is so embarrassing, like the worst kind." I squish the cushion to my face and scream out again.

"You really do need to learn to control your blush though, your a bit obvious." She says grabbing the spilled bowl of popcorn and fishing for any left, then pops one in her mouth and continues. I can agree on that much. "But yeah, I do think he overheard some, if not all of it." She replied with amusement lasing her voice.

"Yeah yeah! I know! Now thats enough of that subject, ok! I can't sit through any more torcher and Nathaniel could be back any minute. Like, what if it was him who overheard our conversation. That would be another kind of awful." I shuddered at the
thought, fear latching onto me again, memories of him backhanding me littered my mind.

My thoughts went to the dark side of my relationship, I was deep in the fear when Quinn shook me.

"Your afraid of him aren't you? Paloma?"
She shook me to get a reaction, after a few nudges I eventually acknowledged her.

"What? The Alpha no, why would I fear him. Well apart from the obvious that he's an Alpha and all but no I'm not afraid of him."

"No Quinn! I do not mean the Alpha I mean Nathaniel, your afraid of Nathaniel! Aren't you! Don't lie to me. I can smell yor fear, it went skyrocketing the second you mentioned Nate." She stands up outraged and hovers over me.

I look up, "What! No, no no no no no!" Then I lower my head and look away.

"Certan things you can't hide from an Alpha Paloma, fear is one of the most potent and obvious smells to me, and you reek of it!"

"Of course I'm afraid, can you imagine if it was Nathaniel that walked in on that conversation. Where would we be now? Where would I be?" Anger got the better of me and my voice rose a few octaves. "How could I explain any of that?." I questioned almost putting all the blame on Quinn like it was somehow her fault, the reality was it was mine and I didn't want to face it. It was easier to push the blame to someone else so I could ease my anger, I know its wrong, I just can't help it.

"Don't bring the Alpha up again Quinn! I know you can beat my ass any second but as my friend please, I'm living in my mates house after joining his pack. Its wrong! And disrespectful, and I don't want to do it again. I feel sick from guilt as it is." I looked at my friend her anger had gone replaced by worry and understanding. It made me really feel sick with guilt, because I just wanted to deflect from the actual problem of her noticing my fear towards Nathaniel.

She would help me, I know it and when I'm ready I will seek out that help from her. But right now -- I can't face that harsh reality, it may be foolish and one day I may regret this decision but as of right now, I just can't face it, I just can't!

"I'm gona head to bed now, don't worry bout the mess I'll sort it in the morning. Your rooms the one next to mine and I'm sorry for getting angry I am just a little emotional right now. Can you forgive me." I flutter my eyelashes fanning my face, giving her the sweetest look I can muster.

"No worries babe, I love you. I know its late but I'm gonna let my wolf out for a run its been a long day and we need to stretch our legs and get some fresh air. I might be a few hours, sweet dreams and forget about all this crap, tomorrow's another day." We hug and she sets off.

After I climbed the stairs to my room, changing into some nightwear I stood staring at the empty bed, the alarm clock said 2.02 am. Nathaniel could be home any minute, I was glad about his absence all day, I'm not looking forward to seeing him. Especially now I know he can flip into the raging animal.

I hop in my side curling into the fetal position and pray for sleep to take me away.

The dreams came easily as I drifted into REM sleep.

The woman was there again chasing away from me, her long flowing locks fluttering in the breeze. She looks back smiling, her face has become more clear. There is something so familiar but I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

She begins to say something, her voice is like a song but the words sound foreign. I don't understand and call out asking for her to tell me but still I cannot reach her.

She's closer now... I nearly touched her but she escapes me until she stands atop the dune. The sand overwhelms my feet no matter how I try, I cannot progress further up the dune to reach her. I run and climb, pull and tug anything trying to claw my way up to her. But like always the sand gives way and I'm frozen making no progress.

The voice that sings the melody of my soul stops and finally I here her speak, her voice becomes clear.

'Dont worry, you'll meet me soon.' She reaches out with her hand, a smile on her face as the butterfly floats about her till it perched on her shoulder.

Streching out my hand I try to reach but its of no use and I feel the pull as I'm slowly dragged backward. Pain beginning to burst through my body like a pulsing nightmare.

I awake to an empty bed, sweat covering my body and the memories of the burning pain in my dreams. Trying to sit up I roll to my back push my elbows into the mattress but fall back down as burning pain envelops my body, the dream coming to reality. I let out a scream and tears begin to flood my eyes.

I know what this is! The sick knowledge making me hurt even more. My body shaking from the sheer force of the pain, trembling all over I writhe with agony. Curling back in a ball I cling to my knees and stuff my face in the pillow as the pain continues to batter me. My screams are muffled by the pillow. I don't want Quinn to hear or witness this, its painful enough.

I can feel every thrust, but I feel agony while my mate enjoys his betrayal, he is with her right now. In her bed doing unspeakable things, while I burn from the pain of my mate fucking another woman.

Why do I deserve this?

What fate has brought me here to live in pain?

Was I truly that awful?

My throat is hacked and dry, sore from all the screams. My body weakened further by the never ending onslaught of pain. Till it gives in and I fade into the darkness, plagued by nightmares, while I collapse into unconsciousness.

My soul destroyed...

My heart crushed...

My hope taken...

My body broken...

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