I could hear someone calling in the distance, was it me they were looking for? Searching around I couldn't see anyone, and panic gripped me. I could feel my body shake in fear, then I heard their voice again.
I felt paralyzed--
I knew they were calling me now but I couldn't reply. My mouth wouldn't speak, my body wouldn't move. Panic grew to an overwhelming amount, I could hear everything, but still, I was stuck, my body heavy, still like a corpse. My brain sent out all the signals to my synapses, telling them to move. In my head it felt like my body should be thrashing around yet I was, still... and stiff.
I screamed but no sound left my lips nor no movement. I was frozen, I was suffocating, terrifyingly frightened. Then their voice called out again, a soft touch to my head, their warm hand grasped my own.
I gasped for air and shot up in the bed awakening. I gulped down air and a tear went rolling down my cheek. My head lowered to see the hand grasping my own and I followed it up to see the concerned face of Quinn. Relieved I pulled her in for a hug and just held her there.
It was a dream...
No, a nightmare!
"I love you." I blurted out, my friend, my light that calls me from the dark, my person. Who needs a mate! No, not me all they do is cause you excruciating, mind fucking pain!
"What happened babe your wringing wet, covered in sweat. Have the nightmares returned? I haven't seen you like this in years. Godess Paloma speak to me, are you ok?."
"I'm ok." Pulling her closer I lay my head on her shoulder. "Now that your here."
I've made my mind up, I'm going back to Quinn's pack with her, I can't do this anymore. Why should I stay. Nathaniel proved to me last night that he doesn't care, the pain was unbearable, I don't deserve it, once I see the council and find out about my marking I'll return with her.
"Come on let's get you up, everyone's down stairs waiting." Quinn said in a soft voice.
"What! Who's down stairs." I jumped at her words.
"Calm down bunny, everything is going to be alright. Its just your mate, the Alpha and the Nabi. Nothing to worry about, their here to collect you and for support. Now hop in that shower cause ya stink and then join us down stairs for some breakfast." Quinn places a kiss on my forehead pulls me to my feet and ushers me into the bathroom."
I take a quick look at the mirror. My bodys is damp with sweat, dark circles grace my eyes, my muscles still ache from the burning pain of last night. I'm a mess, I look terrible and worse than I ever have. Stripping off I get clean returning to my room I pull out a long white maxi dress, that has a low back and halter neck. I'm going to be prodded and pocked today so I may aswell leave the marking uncovered. That way I won't have to strip off anything to show my marks. I grab my largest cream pashmina shawl wrapping it around me, like a shield, hugging it close to myself.
It was now or never... the idea of running popped into my head, I'd be crazy not to have such thoughts but knew they were fruitless, so I only momentarily entertained them. Grabbing a hairbrush I pull my hair into a high ponytail and left my face bare. No amount of makeup would hide my emotions and I could care less about my appearance right now.
Taking a deep breath working up my strength from my aching body I made my way down stair. The smell of bacon, pancakes and coffee stirred my senses. Mmh coffee I need a boost for my worn out body! My eyes closed enjoying the aromas, my taste buds were salivating even though I just felt sick to my stomach.
When I open my eyes I was faced with a kitchen full, Nabi was here slaving over a hot stove. Alpha Atreus was sat at the breakfast counter with a mouthful of bacon. Quinn was stood close by, coffee in hand and then there was my ever absent, cheating pig of a mate stood by the open patio doors his back to me, it looked as though he was chatting to someone.
That sick feeling returned, like I knew I was going to experience something bad but I kept my head high and entered the kitchen. Everyone noticed and looked in my direction, but it was only Nathaniel that had my attention. All the emotions I have suffered the last while, what he did last night hurt the most, both physically and emotionally. He has cut me down thrown away anything we had. Even Oriel has gone silent, like she's fading away not just shut me out.
When he finally turned he looked blank faced but beautiful, no emotions were there. It made me wonder was I always so blind to his behavior that I had ignored his true self?
His gaze grew intense then. "Did you sleep well Lolo, nothing keeping you up I hope." He lowered his head slightly, his eyes hooded the look made a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way. I knew straight away he was trying to get a rise as his words were filled with hidden messages, his mouth curved up into a crooked sardonic smile. He wanted to revelle in my pain.
Why? What did I do to deserve this?
I know I've said it before but why? I just don't understand it...
There's times in your life that are so memorable you'll never forget them like your first kiss, your sweet sixteenth, your first drink. Honestly it could be a day spent with your family at a theme park or the beach. But they were happy and unforgettable and then there is the flip side of that, like the time a guy broke your heart, or for me it was loosing my family, though I never could recall the image's of that day I could always recall the pain, the helplessness and fear of being deserted, abandoned and left alone.
I would have never believed that my Nathaniel would bring that kind of feeling and memory to me but here I am, stood in my kitchen, the one that was supposedly going to be our families hearth, watching as that bitch Caroline steps out from behind him. Every step with the intent to demean me, to enjoy my pain to bask in it. The sick scornful looks they both gave me as she wraps her arm around his waist leaning her head on his shoulder, not once taking her eyes off me.
"Oh I hope you didn't wait up for this guy too late." She says as she rubs her hand on his chest. Everthing in me wants to rip that smug smile off her face and slap her into next week. But I just won't give those pieces of shit that kind of satisfaction! I've said it before I may be weak in strength but I'm strong of mind. I won't let them beat me this way! Not now, not ever!
"We were so caught up in pack business that we didn't notice the time when we went for a run.
He always needs a good workout you know! Especially after a hard day's work, don't you -- Nate!
I've been under him for so long now, I found it hard to keep up, though... I gave him a run for his money. I think I'm still running hot from how hard he worked me, my thighs are aching." Drawing out the word hard as she smirks up at him then winks at me and laughs.
Oh fuck that!
I want to tear them to shreds!
There was a pregnant pause before anyone reacted, I just turned away they wanted to get a reaction -- well they will be waiting on it because I want to give them the opposite of their desires, even if my own desire was to beat both there ass's
It obviously wasn't only me who noticed the innuendo in whore-faces words because everyone else present had either shocked or disgusted looks on their faces.
Nathaniel and whore-face didn't even notice how the room went silent all attention centered on them, they were so caught up in each other.
I walked to the breakfast bar ignoring everyone, grabbed a seat beside the Alpha, sipping my coffee while enjoying a tasteless bagel. I'm sure it tasted good but to me everything tasted like shit, especially my life!
"You ok?" Alpha Atreus asks.
"Yup!" I say in a short curt answer but turn my head and lock eyes with him. His deep blue eyes enraptured me like always, the whore-faced slut fades, my scum of a mate fades away along with everyone else in the room, till all I can see is Atreus.
He smiles, I return in kind a smile, the emotional pain fades, my heart ache fades, my physical pain fades...
There's just those mesmerising eyes, and the soft yet strong and smooth....
Nabi coughs and clears her throat, and I'm suddenly super aware. I'm staring into Alpha Atreus' eyes, Godess what am I doing? He has the smugest smile on as he raises a brow and looks down. Its then I realise I am holding onto his biceps, rubbing my hand up and down his arms.
I could die right now!
Omg what the heck am I doing!
On queue my cheeks flare to a hot red, Quinn spits out a mouthful of coffee, honestly I'm not far behind I begin to choke on some.
"PALOMA!" Nathaniel screams and all our heads turn to him as he storms over to me grabbing my wrist pulling it away from Alpha Atreus' biceps, like what the fuck? Why was I still holding them and what is this asshole at now!
I can feel the anger rolling off Nathaniel, the sparks of his touch burn me with disgust for myself and for him. It annoys me to no end, but I push those feelings away. I guess its easier now that Oriel is silent, though I miss her, and that part of myself. I guess its another emptiness I have to come to term's with, my broken soul.
He pulls me from my seat, pushes me behind him, its ridiculous! Acting all territorial now yet moments ago he was taunting his mistress and affair in front of me while I'm still hurting from the pain of their rendezvous.
"Alpha, I'm taking Paloma, we need to talk." He says with a domineering voice.
"No Nate, your not." Alpha Atreus says then pulls me from behind Nathaniel like a rag doll.
I'm now stuck between both towering colossus, quivering with both men clutching onto a separate arm.
"Dont start this shit again Nathaniel, I've warned you before, Pack first. Everything else come in second and as of right now, the Council are on their way to the meeting hall awaiting our arrival. Theres no time for your male bravado, get your act together. You can both have it out later, on your own time.
But honestly man, I'm disappointed in you why the fuck did you not come home to support your mate last night. That's what you should be doing, now aswell! Instead we've all had to painfully watch your carry on with Caroline. Come on man, you don't do that shit to your mate, even more so in times of crisis." I can feel the anger brew in Alpha Atreus, his power is overwhelming with each word the volume of his voice increases.
"Do you know what I would give to see my...." His voice is booming now but he trails off.
Everyone is stunned into silence, it dawns on me that he's obviously lost his mate. Im shocked momentarily, it just never entered my line of thought, that he would have experienced such heartbreak. The look in his eyes is of deep anguish and pain, I can only imagine how difficult that would be, and my heart aches for his loss.
Yet he still holds onto me as does Nathaniel, but Nathaniel's grip has become even tighter his nails begin to dig into my skin cutting it as a drops of blood dip down my arm.
"ENOUGH! LET HER GO!" Quinn roars out in her Alpha Voice, I'm startled but so proud of her, as both males losen their grip and my arms drop to the side. Then I place my hands on their chest.
"This is not the time, we'll talk later." I say in as calming voice as I can, and its as if I'm drawing them of their anger, we then both calm down. Not sure if it was me or Quinn, I'd say a bit of both. But glad that episodes over.
Alpha Atreus is clenching is jaw still staring at Nathaniel and Nathaniel fists are clenched. But I haven't got time for this right now there's more important things on my mind.
"This isn't over Nathaniel, there's consequences for your actions." Alpha Atreus says with venom.
"Come on Quinn let's go." I turn and walk to the front door.
"Coming babe." She says while walking past both pent up frustrated men. "You both need to get your shit together, she deserves better than this!" She hisses walking up behind me and taking my arm in hers.
We walk out the door arm in arm. I thank the Godess for at least gracing Quinn in my life. I once heard a quote, it went something like *'Things are never quite as scary, when you've got a best friend.' How apt that is in this very moment.
We leave behind a stunned group, I take a quick look back, Nabi is now smiling, she even winked in a mischievous way. Both men don't look happy and are storming out the house. And then there's Caroline, gods I even hate thinking her name, though I'm kinda satisfied when I see her raging face as she runs after them. Another point to the Omega, who had two men fight over her, ha! In your face bitch!!
So here we stand, outside the Pack house, more like complex and im working up the courage to enter. The others have gone inside to greet the elders and council members.
Quinn pulls me in for one last hug and ensures me that I can do this there's nothing to worry about, then she kisses my forehead and I feel ready...
"You can do this babe. Do you mind if I make a phone call I can feel somethings up in the pack link and just want to check in? If you want me to, I can wait" She says, there is unease in her voice.
"No, you go ahead. This is something I have to do alone anyways, so don't worry. You have been my rock, you got me here thank you." Kissing her on the cheek I walk up and into the meeting hall.
The double doors creek open, the smell of old wood, sweat and sandlewood hit me, as do the gazes of everyone in the room. There's muffled chatting going on then when they continue what they were doing.
I can't see much at the front, so I grab a seat in the back row, figuring I'll be on display for everyone soon enough.
Taking my seat I close my eyes, calming myself, with happy thoughts as best I can. I can feel a presence beside me, but decide to ignore it, hugging my pashmina close when they take a seat.
"Hello trouble!" They say.
It couldn't be him?
My eyes pop open turning to that male voice.
Fuck my life!
*Quote by Bill Waterson