Forty five minutes later... my skin is red from the shower, scrubbing my sinful thoughts away. What is wrong with me. I have waited almost two years to be with Nathaniel, yes I agreed to our long distance relationship but Godess it was painful and not just emotionally it was physically painful during my heat.
Those nights spent alone in pain, I always wondered did he realise how painful it was for me. Did he ever consider me in his insistence to stick to an outdated rarely done tradition. Honestly I dont know anyone who waited as long as us, I know my friends didn't agree with it, during my heat cycles it became very evident. I fought through it though, I made it hear now, so why is my mind filled with thoughts of another, I am beginning to hate myself, a feeling I have never once entertained or thought before.
Everyone and I repeat everyone speaks of the unbreakable bond between mates and yet I feel so drawn to Alpha Atreus at the minute. It's like he secretly gave me a drug and now I am addicted to him and his scent. Oh godess his soft velvet lips brushing across my skin. Oriel Stop it now! You keep on doing this he is not our mate.
I indulged in my self hatred for long enough then pull myself together. The day went by at a snail's pace, all the enjoyment I had this morning overshadowed by that misshap, then when you include the fact of the ceremony, ugh my stomach churns at the thought. I am not one to be put on display, I usually avoid any situation that would entail me being centre stage. I would almost say I am allergic to it because it really doesn't agree with me.
Though I have yet to hear from Nate, honestly he drops the Alpha here, then does a disappearing act. I get it, he has his job to do, a simple goodbye would suffice but I have the feeling he's just avoiding the confrontation from me. He is digging himself a bigger hole, I may not be as physically strong as him but my stubbornness has a power all of it's own.
The hours passed at a slower pace with the thought of tonight, meeting everyone becoming more overwhelming with no sign of Nathaniel. Its six fifty now ten minutes till Alpha Atreus is to call. I wanted to go with Nate, he should be the one to introduce me, hold my hand when my nerves are getting the better of me. I have this awful feeling he ain't gonna show, how could he.
When the knock comes I grab my denim cropped jacket and head for the door. What's the point in waiting any longer, calling so many times now I must seem like a crazy person, and not one time did Nate pick up, no text, nothing.
Opening the door to Atreus, he's looking hot in a black button down shirt that looks as if its moulded to his body, black Jean's his hair slicked back, his deep blue eyes stuck on mine while he clenches his jaw, I feel like he wants to say something but he stays quiet.
Slipping into my white gladiator sandals I grab my keys, hoping the green spaghetti strapped maxi dress is appropriate, not like I had anyone to ask for advice, and for the first time in years I feel an ache of loneliness taking a grip on my heart. The one glaring fact cutting deep, Nate should be here. I take one last glance in the mirror, noting how faint my mark is, is that a sign? Wiping away that one stray tear that escaped. I can do this.
We can do this, your strong and beautiful. Oriel chimes in, her support gives me hope and I head out the door.
"So where to, is it far?" I asked, curious about his reaction when a large smile grew on his face.
"You look beautiful, by the way" his comment took me off gaurd and I swiped my head in his direction. Is he fucking with me now? Is that it. I scan my eyes over him looking for something hidden in his words or actions but when I meet with his own eyes all I see is sincerity. It was there and gone in a flash, its then I take note of where we are walking to, I find myself on the driveway to the large Masion next door, of course this makes sense.
"Welcome to my home."
The energy was high when the reached the crowd, people chatting with lots of laughter to be heard. Most were outside and Atreus generously introduced me to alot of people before he had been called away. I couldn't help but notice that once the Alpha left people began to ease off, until I was left alone in the middle of the crowd. I looked around for anyone to talk to but everyone seemed so emersed in their own conversations I didn't know what to do. Oriel chimes in, a little bunny surrounded by wolves.
Hearing a womans voice I turn to be faced with the woman who I had seen the Alpha with, outside the clubhouse on my first day here. Honestly I hadn't payed to much heed to her then, she's striking though and strong. Her powerful aura flows off her in waves. Dressed like most here in dark clothing that's very revealing with a dangerous and sexy vibe, though she stands out amongst the crowd.
"So what's your name." She says giving me a hard dose of stink eye.
"Paloma, I am pleased to meet you." I can feel the hostility towards me nonetheless I hold out my had in greeting and smile.
"Well Paula don't think your little pitiful act will work on the Alpha, I know you some how managed to do a job on Nate, but no one else will fall for that shit." Her disgusted tone was obvious, clearly she didn't like me for some reason. I couldn't care less though I'm no virgin to a bitchy woman I have delt with a fair few over the years.
Something she didn't know was I may be physically week but mentally I am so strong willed. This bitch ain't gona fuck with my head! No Sirree!
I could hear the crowds hum getting lower as they tuned into what was being said. Maybe that's it, maybe its some kind of test for me.
"It's Paloma and honestly I have no idea what your taking about but I will make something clear. Nate is my mate, there is no act between us, we love each other." She cackles hearing my words, bitch!
Secondly I have no claim or desire to claim the Alpha. I believe in true mates clearly your not his so I'm sure he'll find her one day." A collective gasp comes from the crowd.
"Maybe you should worry more about yourself then me." My voice is firm and clear, honestly it sounded more than just an omega's, I guess that is my superpower. Though the collective gasping I could hear when I mentioned the Alfpha's mate, left me slightly unsettled.
"Your weak, so are your weak ass words... And everyone knows it!" She taunted strutting away her sardonic laughter being carried by the light evening breeze.
As much as her words were supposed to be cutting, they don't have the desired effect on me that she wishes. All my thoughts are consumed by Nate I couldn't care less what some bitchy shewolf had to say. My heart wishes he was here, a tender embrace from him would soothe the lonely isolation that is undulating within. My head fights with those feelings demanding me to bear this, it will only strengthen me Oriel says and as usual my head wins even if my heart aches.
Lost in my thoughts I stand unmoved as the crowd go about, no one else approached after the slutty club bitch. The soothing breeze blows on my side, turning to cool my back, there is a break in the crowd and in the distance I notice an old lady sat alone.
Sadness surrounded her aura and I notice how no one approaches her or even speaks to her. It's an odd feeling but for some reason I sense a kindred spirit within. Crossing the garden I take a seat by her and introduce myself.
"Hi my names Paloma." I smiled and held out my hand in greeting, she smiles, her aged beauty shinning through. I imagine she was once a great beauty, she still is. Taking my hand in hers we shake and a warm feeling emanates from her, it is so welcoming, I feel at home with her.
"Call me Nabi." We hit it off straight away she had a cheeky sense of humor, and we laughed alot. I could see the side eyes people were giving me but I didn't care. To me she was just another pack member, someone who's company I enjoyed. I didn't ask why she was alone, I didn't need know the reason unless she willingly wanted to share. I just know I like her and to me, that is all that matters.
The sound of someone clearing their throat grabs my attention and the shadowy figure of Alpha Atreus stands above me.
"It's time." He says and reaches out to take my hand...
I ignore it but stand my eyes darting about searching the crowd. My heart starts to race with nerves and fear.
"Where's Nathaniel Alpha? I can't do this until he arrives." Theres a look of pity on his face but I wont accept it, not from him, no no way, no fucking way.
"Nathaniel is very devoted to the position of my Beta. I am sure he told you how much work he put in to be promoted and it was well deserved..." he trails off looking away dodging any eye contact.
"I know all this, but I'm not sure how relevant it is to me, now!" My eyebrows raise, my mouth is pursed to a thin line. " I just want a straight answer Aloha, I'm asking you sincerely, please."
"He finished work just after six, we spoke not in person but through mindlink. He never mentioned what he was doing after, I honestly thought he would be there with you when I went to pick you up."
"If that's true then why would you come to pick me up, huh? I think you forgot that little nugget." Anger began to surge within me, it has been nothing but tricks and games since I landed here, is that what this is another game to entertain the pack at my expense.
"No actually I certainly didn't, picking the new member up walking them to the ceremony is a tradition for the Alpha of this pack. It is a private welcoming for the new member and helps with the bond between them and the pack. I would normally speak about all this on the walk but we live so close together the walk was over nearly before it started."
Oh shit! Its official I am so fucking stupid. How could I push the blame onto Atreus its Nate that I'm pissed with, he is the one who has let me down. And the one person that showed up who set up this whole event for me, I am being a bitch too. He really didn't deserve it. Yes he's been overly friendly but I have a feeling that's just who he is, a flirt.
I go to kneel and ask for his forgiveness, the Omega in me calling for submission and forgiveness, but he takes a firm grip of my arm shaking his head. "Don't" one word, that's all it takes for him to command my compliance.
"I'm sorry, forgive me.. Please."
"Look I said that is unnecessary. Have you spoken to Nathaniel?"
I shook my head. "No, I've been trying all day, calling and I sent texts, but he hasn't replied." I pulled out my phone bringing his number on screen and dialled. The sound of the rings as they continued unanswered left me reeling.
A soothing sensation came from my hand and I looked to see Nabi holding it in hers, giving me support when I needed it. I noted a strange look on Atreus face his gaze on mine and Nabi's hand, what that's about I have no idea. Then it hits me an idea that might get me through this, I know I can't hold off the ceremony for much longer, it's the whole reason we are here.
My pleading eyes look at Alpha Atreus he is still looking to mine and Nabi's hands he seems lost in thought as if he were seeing something I couldn't.
"Alpha." I try to grab his attention and call his name again. When he looks at me there is an emotion there I hadn't seen in him before.
"Yes Paloma, what can I do for you."
"Call him... Not by mindlink by phone, please I need to know." He looks uncomfortable with my request and turns away his gaze back on my clasped hand. He looks to Nabi and she nods to him.
"Ok, but I am not happy about this. You can thank Nabi without her I wouldn't do it."
Seconds pass, Alpha Atreus has put his phone on loudspeaker and places it on the table as we stood around it. The rings feel like an ignition to my heart as it beat hard with every passing ring.
"Nate, The ceremony for your mate is about to begin. Is everything secure on our boarders, will you be making the ceremony or will I go ahead?."
I can hear a little snigger coming through the line. "No, go ahead me and the boys are having an extra training session then heading to the club house for a few. Dont forget to join us later." Then silence
"What should I tell Paloma you know she's been asking about you, it's kinda awkward."
I didn't think the Alpha would ask this but I too want to know what his answer will be.
"She will be fine, she's a big girl don't worry about it. Oh, actually do me a favour if she asks, tell her I'm out on patrol, you know how clingy women can be, she's already called and text countless times. It's not like this is important anyways." He laughs then hangs up.
In all the time I've known Nate he has never sounded like that. It was as if another person was on the phone. His words cut into me and a stark truth was revealed, Nate is not the person I thought him to be...