It was more than time for my son to know of his mother and why he never knew her. It was my sin and my burden. Now it would be known to both Soren and Aio. They would know what I did. They would know how I killed the only good thing in my life.
A knock on the study door let me know they were there, “Enter.” I called to them as they came in with Kojiro, my grandson.
He looked so much like Aio it hurt. If only his father had been born with his mother’s traits it wouldn’t have been so hard to accept my sins. Soren had been born looking like me however, and I had to face that I would never see the face of my love ever again. Adriana was lost to me forever.
“What’s going pop?” Soren questioned as he and Aio came into the study. Aio was actually carrying Kojiro for some reason but I was not going to say anything about it. If they were talking and being happy together, I was not going to disrupt that harmony. Again.
I wanted to let them know more about me not about how I ruined their happiness.
“I wanted to talk to you both about something important.” I said seriously as Kojiro wandered off among the many old tombs of books. It was like he already knew he was not really meant to hear what I had to say.
Soren pulled out a seat for Aio before taking one of his own, very close to her, their eyes intent on me. “What’s wrong dad? You don’t seem yourself” Soren said a look of worry on his face.
His words actually brought a smile to my face, if only he really knew the real me. “I’m as good as I’ll ever be, I suppose.” I said as I leaned back in my own chair. “For as long as you have lived son there has been something, I have kept from you. I’m not proud of it but it is something that you need to know.” I said getting Soren’s full attention.
“When you brought Aio to me, not only was I beyond surprised I was reminded of my own heartbreak. ” I said knowing that I was about to open my greatest sadness for my son to see.
They looked at me with curious eyes, “What do you mean pop?” Soren asked taking Aio’s hand in his.
“My True Mate was a Nekojin female by the name of Adriana. She was the only other being aside from you Soren that I ever loved.” I answered getting a shocked gasp from both of them, as Aio covered her mouth.
Soren was looking at me with wide eyes he was watching me closely. Like he always does, like he always has. “Why are you telling us this now?” he asked me his voice low.
“It is your right to know what happened to her Soren. She was your mother.” I said seriously.
I can see the look of total shock on my son's face. I knew he was trying to put everything together. I had told him about his mother once before when he asked me about how to change Aio, but I didn't tell him everything.
"M-my m-mother?" Soren questioned softly as Aio reached out to him with deft fingers. Her actions were automatic for her and it warmed my heart even more just by looking at them. They were the pair I had hoped to be with my own kitten.
"Yes, son. Your mother was one of the very first Nekojin to be saved by our people. She was the brightest star in my life until the day you came. I was so happy to have a son of my own." I said as he looked at me. He heard me but it was taking his brain a little to put everything together.
"B-but you said Adriana had died." Soren replied in a dazed voice.
"She did. I was the one to kill her and it broke my very spirit when she drew her last breath." I said sadness coming to my eyes as I looked down at the table in shame.
Soren could not speak, as he stared at me in shock. My words were settling in his head and he was trying to figure out how it was truly possible. He looked nothing like his own son, rather Soren was an identical version of myself.
"But, I-I have no Nekojin traits how is that even possible?" Soren questioned demanding an answer from me and it was the reason I had brought him here to begin with.
Now that he was King, he needed to know his heritage a little better than he did. "Soren, you were cured with dominant Vampire genes. The only part of you that is your mother is the color of your eyes. It was one of the reasons you got away with so much when you were younger. You would look up at me with her eyes and I would crumble with my own sadness." I replied seriously. "I was so angry with you for not looking more like you mother that I put a distance between us. I regret the distance I put between us. I miss her every day and I fear it only gets worse with each day. She was my everything and I lost her because I was too foolish to realize what my mistake was." I said slumping in my chair. I had been lost that day and I don't think I ever found my way back out of the darkness.
I had lost the one thing I should have protected better than anything else in the world. Addy was my everything the moment I saw that unruly black hair of hers.
"W-What happened?" came Aio's soft voice. She was a soothing presence in my life, much like my own Addy but Aio was not mine and I knew that as well.
"I wanted her to live forever with me. I was more than excited to know that she had wanted the same thing. We had been enjoying the outdoors when she had become ill. Morning sickness was a bitch for her. We had found out that she was carrying my child. You Soren and I panicked. I didn't want her to become more ill from anything and I had spoken to a few of the Elders about changing her. They had told me that because she was part of a manufactured species that the only problem would be the pain. I was afraid that my child and Mate would die because we had not been more careful. Addy was already very sick and unable to keep much sustenance down. She agreed to me biting her. She didn't want to leave her child and Mate as much as I never wanted her to leave. Soren was not due for another week and Addy was slowly slipping away from me when I bit her. I had only wanted to save her, not cause her death." I explained softly. Tears I didn't know were there running down my face in waves. Adriana had been my very air and when she died in childbirth because of my haste I lost so much of my soul I had never thought to even try to pull myself back out of the hole I had fallen into.
"That's why you had asked me about why Aio was so withdrawn." Soren stated as he looked to his own breath.
"Yes, I didn't want a repeat of my own mistakes. I didn't want you to suffer the same way I have. You told me that you fell in love the moment you saw her face. It was the same with me and Addy. I was more in love with her by the end of our first conversation. I knew you had found your True Mate when you spoke of Aio. She is all the Goddess can give to you. There will be times when you don't always agree but Soren you must not forget to talk to her about things." I said thoughtfully.
I had never wanted to hurt their relationship and I am glad that they have settled on this difference but I will forever miss my own Nekojin. We had planned out our entire lives together but I had been too caught up in my own needs to care for hers.
"You must take care of your little Nekojin, my son. She will forever be your guiding light in everything. Without her you will become far colder than I have ever been," I added softly as I finally looked up to my son.
I smiled as I saw him with Aio already in his lap and his face buried in her neck, inhaling her scent. He had seen me cry for the first time in his life and I knew he was going to not only take my words to heart but keep them in the forefront of his mind.
I knew that my son would probably hate me in the end for taking his mother from him but I had needed to tell him before I left this world. I knew I was not long for it now. After giving him the abilities of the Kings long past I have lost the will to continue to live. I want to be with Adriana now. I want to see my love again.