One Night In Michigan
She knew that young women should never venture into dark isolated forests at night, and that thought brought a smile to her face. The night was dark, the sky a deep purplish black, and the background of the dark sky allowed the clusters of stars to twinkle brightly. If she were a star, she would like to be a deep purplish black star, because on nights like this, no-one would see her. Although sometimes she liked to be seen, because she knew that she could attract many admiring glances. Her desire to be seen flared frequently, and on many occasions she would look in the mirror and say, Wow, you are nice to look at! So she understood why many admiring glances were directed towards her, and she also understood why nights were dark. Monsters and villains who had evil intentions on their mind operated more effectively under the cover of darkness.
And so did she.
Darkness extinguished light, yet to her, darkness could be so illuminating.
Darkness sang a song, and Darkness told a tale, the song and the tale being eerie and threatening, and the young woman knew that she was a Child Of The Darkness, because while a miniscule portion of her soul sprinkled light, the majority of her soul was blanketed by a heavy cover of Darkness. And she was happy about that. Very happy.
It would be no fun at all to be her if she wasn’t a Child Of The Darkness, for if she was a Child Of The Light, she would moan, Ohhh come on, this is so boring and I want to do something naughty! Or if not naughty, she would want to do something dangerous. Or scary. Or deadly.
Being a Child Of The Darkness sat comfortably with her, for she was the Daughter Of Darkness. She thought that being called the Daughter Of Darkness sounded more interesting and intriguing than being called That Nice Girl Next Door. She could live with being called that girl next door; although she would want an arousing adjective placed before the word girl, so that the description would become; that NAUGHTY girl next door … or that DANGEROUS girl next door … or that DEADLY girl next door. Maybe it didn’t matter, for when her Angelic and Demonic parents had named her, they called her Filia ab Tenebris, so unless she decided to change her name at the Registry where people change their names, the Daughter of Darkness it would be. And that was cool, because her name suggested that she was naughty, dangerous and deadly.
And she was. She was naughty, dangerous and deadly because… well, she was naughty, dangerous and deadly because it was so much fun.
She gazed into the sky, and for a moment, she wondered how dark it would be if the moon didn’t glow and the stars didn’t twinkle. She focussed on a small twinkling star, and she whispered, “Hello twinkling star, my wish is that it would be dark all the time.” In a moment of sombre reflection, she assumed that if it was dark all the time, people would very quickly be confused about whether it was am or pm, and most of the clocks in the world would have to be changed to twenty-four-hour clocks. She liked good old-fashioned round wall clocks that featured twelve black English numerals on a white background, although she suspected that if a round wall clock had twenty-four black English numerals on it, she wouldn’t like it as much. Plus, if it was dark all the time, she may well feel deprived, because she always felt a swell of excitement as a new dark night slowly settled in. As well, if it was dark all the time, people probably wouldn’t go to the beach and swim in the ocean, except of course, for those people who went skinny-dipping. One night she wanted to go skinny-dipping, because she would love to take her clothes off and dive into the ocean, or maybe not the ocean, because she was scared of jelly-fish; but maybe go skinny-dipping in a pool, although she would only skinny-dip in a pool if the pool was clean. She assumed that if people had a swimming pool in their back yard, they would be rich, and they should be able to afford a pool cleaner, although she had seen a few back yard swimming pools that were anything but clean. She had seen back yard swimming pools where the water was green in winter, and algae and fungus flourished, and she imagined that these neglected back yard swimming pools were the ones that migrating jelly-fish would be attracted to. Maybe she would never go skinny-dipping, because jelly-fish lived in the ocean and neglected back yard swimming pools might attract jelly-fish. In a moment of rational deduction, she understood that she would only go skinny-dipping if she was dressed in full scuba-diving gear, and also she would need to carry a spear-gun to shoot the jelly-fish. And effectively, if she was dressed from head to toe in a full scuba-diving outfit, it couldn’t really be classified as skinny-dipping. She experienced a moment of severe aggrievement, because she would love to go skinny-dipping, although the places where one normally skinny-dipped, were the places that jelly-fish called home. Because of the creature she was, she feared no man, although she did harbour an unhealthy fear of jelly-fish. To an evil man, she could roar, I am going to rip your heart out! Although to an evil jelly-fish, she wouldn’t know what to say, because the little buggers were fully transparent, and their transparency seemed to suggest that there was nothing worth ripping out. She made a mental note to buy a spear-gun, and maybe also buy another round wall clock. Maybe it didn’t really matter right now, because she wasn’t at the beach, she was standing at the edge of a dark forest, plus, she didn’t have a towel with her. Or a spear-gun. She gazed at the twinkling star again, then she whispered, “Hello twinkling star, just forget about my previous wish, because while I really enjoy the dark nights, having both days and nights is working for me at the moment.”
She looked at her watch; 10.41 pm. The watch was a nice round watch with a slim black band, and the watch featured black English numerals on a white background, and that meant that you could see what time it was even on the darkest of nights. Many watches only had the hour and minute arms, although she had bought this watch because it had a slim second arm as well. She always thought that if you were going to the trouble of making a wrist-watch, it shouldn’t be too much extra work to add the second arm. She drew in a breath, because after looking at the watch, she knew that it was time to get this show on the road. To get from Point A to Point B, one must begin at Point A. Before beginning, she was aggrieved enough to gaze again at the Heavens, and she muttered discontentedly, “Hello God, a question if I may …” She pursed her lips in annoyance, then asked, “Jelly-fish? I mean why did you create them?” She waited for a moment, which was stupid really, because God doesn’t answer random questions from creatures (or DemGels) who lived on the planet Earth; He just does more important stuff in Heaven. She remembered God saying once, All manner of creatures have a purpose in the overall scheme of things … yet she, she who was her, was aggrieved and annoyed enough to pontificate, “Jelly-fish don’t serve any useful purpose, and they’re existence or extinction is not vital to the survival of the planet, so can’t you just, I dunno, wipe the creepy little fuckers out?” God didn’t answer, and she knew that He wouldn’t, because He was probably dicking around in Heaven; although soberly, she wondered if God had created jelly-fish for the sole purpose of scaring the shit out of DemGels. The young woman made a mental note to buy a really good speargun, and next time she went to Heaven, she would shoot God in the foot, or the calf, or maybe just threaten him by pointing the spear gun at him. Although if she did go to Heaven, her Angelic side would worship Him, because that’s what Angels did.
Her aggrievement subsided, for to get from Point A to Point B, one must set aside their unhealthy fear of jelly-fish, and the young woman knew that there would be no jelly-fish in a forest. If jelly-fish ever evolved to the point where they could scutter around on dry land on their squiggly little leg things, she knew that would be a sign to throw the towel in, and she would stomp away and throw her arms up in exasperation as she huffed; Okay, I give up, and I don’t want to play this game anymore!
Although at 10.44pm, standing on the edge of the forest, she did want to play.
Standing behind a tree, she peered into the forest, and she saw a light, a flickering light, and she knew that the flickering light was Point A. If she walked towards the light, she would be exposed, and those that she sought may subject her to unpleasant abuses. She was used to it though, because getting from Point A to Point B was often riddled with unpleasant experiences, and importantly, she knew that her own Dark Demons danced most wickedly when they were provoked or abused. Destiny was a strange journey, and even though her next few hours could prove to be quite a chore, destiny was a persuasive master, and the Daughter Of Darkness wanted her Dark Demons to dance for her on this dark and eerie night.
She crept stealthily towards the flickering light, her heartbeat ticking over more rapidly as she thought about her immediate future.
The clearing was visible, and she hid behind a tree, peeking out to look at them.
Three men and a woman, young men and a young woman, the men all upright, the woman lying motionless on a table. Four young people before her, none of them knowing what this night had in store for them.
She saw the hastily constructed open fire, the sound of the burning branches crackling in the noiseless night. Before moving, she did a quick mental check-list, then she tip-toed into the clearing. “Hi, hello.” she said brightly.
The three men seemed startled as they looked at her.
All men had long, dark hair, one of them had a beard, and all their faces seemed unusually pale. All were dressed the same, black clothes covered by long black jackets.
She looked at the table where the young woman was, then she looked back at the men. The smallest man saw her gazing at the table, and he mumbled, “Ummm, ummm, this isn’t what it looks like.”
She looked at the table again, then turned around as the chubbiest of the men said, “No, yes dude, this ain’t what it looks like.”
“Hmmm, funny,” she mused, “Because to me, what it looks like seems to be what it is.”
The man with the beard said, “No, what you think it looks like, is not what it is.”
“It’s not what it looks like, because it’s something else.” the small man said.
The chubby man said, “Dude, arrhh man, the something else is also completely different to what it looks like.”
The man with the beard said, “The something else and the completely different thing are also not related to what this looks like.”
The small man saw her looking at the table again, so he said, “What you see, is not what we see.”
The chubby man said, “Dude, listen, we don’t see what you see, unless you don’t see it too.”
The man with the beard asked, “Are you a cop?”
She put her hands on her hips and frowned, then she asked, “Do I look like a cop?”
They stared at her, and even though nobody spoke, the answer was clearly, no. She had wavy blond hair, and even though her eyes looked dark in the dim light, the eyes were large, and she had a very pretty face, while her figure was just about to attract a few comments.
The chubby man said, “Whoa dude, you look more like a model!”
The small man said apologetically, “He doesn’t mean like a model in a fashion magazine, you know, not like a model with no tits and skinny legs.”
The man with the beard said, “He means you look like a model from a Men’s magazine.”
The small man asked, “Are you a model?”
“Well I would describe myself as a model citizen,” she began, and then she turned back to the girl on the table. “And I must say, I’m concerned by what appears to be happening here.”
The small man said, “No, what is happening here, is not what is actually happening.”
The chubby man said, “The thing that is not happening here dude, is also not what you think, man.”
The man with the beard asked, “Have you ever done any modelling?”
She strolled across to the table, looked at the girl, then she faced the small man. “Excuse me, can I ask a question?”
The small man asked, “What is your question in relation to?”
She pointed at the table and replied, “My question is in relation to this unconscious, naked girl tied to the table.”
The chubby man shook his head as he advised, “Nahhh, sorry dude, nahhh, you cannot ask a question.”
“Really?” she asked in surprise.
“We will answer most questions, unless of course the questions are the ones we don’t wish to answer.” the man with the beard said.
“Can I ask you a question?” the small man asked.
“Yes you may.”
“What is an attractive young woman doing in an isolated forest in the middle of the night?”
“I got lost and then I felt the urge to have a wee, so I was looking for a suitable spot.”
“Here is a suitable spot!” the small man declared.
“Dude sick bro, you can piss right here!” the chubby man agreed.
“Can we assist you in anyway?” the man with the beard asked.
“No thank-you; I’m quite capable of urinating without any assistance.”
“Let us know if we can help.” the man with the beard offered.
She screwed up her face and clutched her groin as she shivered, “Ohhh, busting, I better go!”
She tip-toed across and went behind a tree, and before pulling her tight track pants down, she noticed the men all moving to their left and looking at her.
“Excuse me boys, no peeking!” she advised. She shuffled to her right, although she noticed them shuffling to the right as well. “Excuse me boys, a girl needs a little privacy!”
“Do you need some assistance?” one of them called out.
“No thank-you, I’m fine.” she replied as she scurried further away from them, then squatted behind a large tree, and she closed her eyes and sighed with relief at the release.
A voice called out, “Do you need our assistance?”
“No,” she replied, “I’m actually very good at taking a piss.”
Two minutes later, she strolled back into the clearing, her hands in her pockets, and she whistled a merry tune, she now comfortable and relaxed, she looking like someone who had dealt with all urgent urinary matters.
With her hands still in her pockets, she smiled as she asked, “So, what are your names?”
“My name is Phillip, although I call my alter-ego DeathStalker.” the small man replied.
“Me the dudester, my name is Robert, and I call my alter-ego HellRaiser.” the chubby man said.
“My name is Edwin, and I haven’t thought up a really scary alter-ego name yet.” the man with the beard said, then he asked, “What is your name?”
“My name is Doddie.”
“That’s an unusual name.” Phillip commented.
“Yes, although not as unusual as DeathStalker or HellRaiser.” she replied.
“Ohhh yes, you see, we have a band, and we needed to create alter-ego names, so that when we play our music, we become our alter-ego’s; we become dark and dangerous creatures of the night.”
“I haven’t thought of my alter-ego name yet, although I’m toying with the idea of calling myself HellStalker, Master of Death and Destruction.” Edwin said.
“We won’t let him use that name though,” Phillip said, “Because it’s too close to mine and Robert’s alter-ego names.”
Doddie looked at Edwin and suggested, “Why don’t you just call yourself the Master of Death and Destruction?”
They all looked at her until Robert nodded, “That’s not a bad idea dude.”
“What kind of music do you play?” Doddie asked.
“Death Metal.” Phillip replied.
“Surprise, surprise.” Doddie smirked as she looked at each of the men. She felt the zings of affirmation tingle her, and she was very pleased. Destiny had guided her here, and these were the men she was seeking. This was Point A, this was the beginning, and her Dark Demons began to stir.
Doddie looked over at the table and said, “So anyway, I was just wondering why you have a naked girl tied to a table.”
“That is not what it appears to be.” Phillip replied.
“Okay, so what is it then?”
All three lowered their gazes to the ground in nefarious embarrassment, until Robert asked, “Hey man, can we get you a drink?”
Doddie thought about her destiny, her journey, then she nodded, “Yes, thank-you.”
Robert leant over to Edwin and nudged him as he whispered, “Get the stuff.”
Edwin was quite taken by the attractive girl, and he mumbled, “The stuff?”
“Ssshhh!” Robert moaned, then he leant in closer and whispered, “The stuff for the drink.”
“Ohhh yeah, sorry.”
Doddie heard the whisper, but her victims didn’t need to know that; so she asked, “What are you boys whispering about?”
“Nothing, we’re just getting your drink organised.” Phillip replied.
Doddie looked at the box in front of her and said, “Ummm, boys, there’s cans of beer in that box right there.”
All three seemed deep in thought, until Phillip said, “Yes, but ladies shouldn’t drink out of cans, so we’ll organise a glass for you.”
Phillip handed Edwin a can of a beer and a glass and then said, “Quick!”
Edwin hurried away, moving out of the glow of the open fire, and when he was a safe distance away from her, he turned his back, opened the can then poured into a glass.
With her enhanced senses, Doddie heard him stirring something into the glass, so she asked curiously, “What is he doing?”
“No, let’s talk about you,” Phillip began, “Where are you from?”
“Ohhh, why are you in Michigan?”
“Hmmm, funny, but I was kind of drawn here.” she replied, then she turned around and looked at Edwin who still had his back to them, the chubby man still stirring furiously.
Phillip wrenched her left shoulder around so that she was facing him again. “Sorry, but yes, do you have friends here?” Phillip asked.
“Relatives?” Robert asked.
“No, I mean I just woke up this morning and I thought, hey, why not go out to Michigan and see what’s happening there.”
Phillip brightened as he asked, “Ohhh, so no-one knows that you’re here?”
“No, I didn’t want anybody knowing where I was.” Doddie replied as she turned back to look at Edwin, the young man still stirring. Hmmm, Doddie pondered, I think in the very near future I’m going to have a headache … then she experienced a moment of uncertainty; I wonder what it is … should I ask them? Hey boys, what’s the drug Edwin’s mixing into my drink?
Robert wrenched her shoulder back, then apologised, “Sorry.”
Edwin scuttled over and handed her the drink.
Doddie looked at it, noting that it was the frothiest beer she had ever seen, liquid still spilling down all sides of the glass. Young women should never accept drinks from strange young men, especially when the drink seemed to be fizzing suspiciously; although Doddie realised that to begin this part of her journey, she would need to accept the drink. Knockout drugs or immobilising drugs tended to make her Dark Demons woozy and disorientated, yet at 10.59pm, the night was still in its infancy, so her Dark Demons would have plenty of time to get their shit together. Doddie did sigh though, and frown, because she didn’t like headaches, but she loved carnage, so she nodded, accepted the drink and said, “Ummm, thanks.”
“Drink it all, you’ll enjoy it!” Edwin said.
“Drink it all down!” Phillip encouraged.
“Good girl sister dude, keep going!” Robert added.
Doddie skulled it all, then with a satisfied sigh, she wiped the froth off her lips with the back of her left wrist. After a dignified burp and an embarrassed giggle, Doddie said, “So boys, let’s talk about the girl on the table.”
Phillip looked at his watch, then said, “Arrhhh, we can’t talk about her now, but we can talk about her in thirty minutes time.”
“I’m sorry? We can’t talk about the girl on the table now, but we can talk about her in thirty minutes time? I don’t understand.” Doddie said innocently, then she wondered, What are the drugs that knock someone out in thirty minutes?
Robert knew that he needed to get her focus off the girl on the table, so he declared, “One day us, yeah man, our band will be world famous, because dude, we write really cool songs.”
Phillip didn’t want the pretty blonds focus on the unconscious girl, so he added, “The first song we wrote together is called, Pound the Fuck Outta Fuckers!”
“Our second song is called Pound the Fuck Outta Rich Kids and Whiny Little Bitches!” Edwin added.
“The song we’re working on at the moment is called Pound the Fuck Outta Everybody Who Isn’t Us!”
“Hmmm, there seems to be a theme running through your material.” Doddie noted.
“We is looking at the problems of the world yeah, and we writing about angst and depression and other cool stuff like that.” Robert advised.
“Our songs are like dark poetry, talking about angst and depression and stuff like that.” Edwin said.
Robert nudged Edwin and stated, “I already said angst and depression man.”
“Well I can say it too, I like saying angst and depression,” Edwin replied snappily, “Especially angst, I love saying angst.”
“Yeah, so we’re trying to relay the message that we should be able to do whatever we want, and everybody else should just shut the fuck up.” Phillip concluded.
“Yeah, and the people who call us losers and loners, they should shut the fuck up the most!” Edwin declared.
“We’re gunna write a song called, Pound the Fuck Outta Anybody Who Calls Us Losers or Loners!” Phillip advised.
“Ohhh, so people call you guys losers and loners?” Doddie asked.
“No, no, no!” they all chorused, all of them furiously shaking their heads, “No, no, no!”
Phillip stopped shaking his head, while Edwin and Robert continued to state firmly, “No, no, no, no!”
“Actually,” Phillip began; “Some people, not many mind you; but some people have called us losers and loners.”
Edwin and Robert subtly changed from shaking their heads to nodding, and Edwin advised grudgingly, “Yeah, the rich kids and the whiny little bitches call us names.”
Robert added, “So dude, that’s why we wrote the song, Pound the Fuck Outta Rich Kids and Whiny Little Bitches.”
“Maybe they call you names because you’re different,” Doddie suggested. “Have you guys ever tried to fit in, like I mean have you tried being nice to everyone?”
“We’re gunna be famous, so we don’t need to be nice!” Phillip declared.
“We is no way man, we don’t want to fit in with them, and us is hey, you should fit the fuck in with us!” Robert agreed.
“The world would be a better place if everybody pounded the fuck outta everybody else!” Edwin concluded.
“Gee, you boys seem angry.”
“We’re not angry!” Edwin replied.
Robert nudged him, then said, “Yes we are dude, we is hostile angry!”
Phillip seemed reflective as he said, “Actually, we’re not angry, but our ambition is to become really angry.”
“Yeah!” Robert agreed, “Our ambition is to be angry and depressed!”
“Yeah, and me, I’m really angst at the moment!” Edwin concluded.
Doddie faced Edwin and said sheepishly, “Ummm, you mean you’re really angry at the moment.”
“No, no, I just like saying angst is all.”
Doddie ran both hands over her face as she puffed out, “Gee, I’m feeling really hot all of a sudden.”
“And sleepy?” Edwin asked.
“Shut up man!” Robert scolded.
“Yes, actually, I am feeling sleepy.” she yawned.
“Well Miss, have a lie down and we will watch over you and protect you.”
“Ohhh that’s nice of you. I’ll have a little nap, and after that, we can talk about the girl on the table.” Doddie said as she lay on the blanket. “I don’t understand why I’m so tired all of a sudden though.”
Having successfully tip-toed across to Point A (east), Doddie closed her eyes, although she acknowledged politely, Sorry Dark Demons, but I think this is going to be a brain-splitter …