What the Eyes Can't See

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Wondering

Playing in the dirt, I find a worm. I love the silky feel. Giggling excitedly, I accidentally grip it too hard and it disappears into the dirt. I wonder if all dirt is made from squished worms.

Mommy makes me wash my hands. It's dirty, she says. Well of course it is, it's dirt. I watch the dirt wash down the drain. I wonder if it gathers in the pipes in bunches and grows grass, giving little pipe people backyards.

Mommy comes home one day with what she calls a "little sister". I think it's a nuisance. I wondered if she liked dirt too, so I brought her some. She ate it, and mommy yelled at me. I wonder if little sisters can be returned to the store.

Time for my snack. If I were to eat a whole box of alphabet crackers, I wonder if the letters would arrange into words in my stomach.

Mommy tells me to feed the fish, saying he needs to eat too. The tiny smelly pellets we give him don't seem appetizing at all. I wonder, if I ate them, would I be able to swim as well as he can? I put a few in my mouth and make a face. Too salty.

They say I'm old enough for school now. They buy me a backpack, books, and new shoes. I'm supposed to ride a big yellow bus to school every day. I wonder how it goes. Maybe the bad children have to hide under the floor and pedal like a bike.

I make some friends in school. Their names are Jake and Noah. They're really cool, and I want to be like them. I wonder if I can.

After a while I go to high school. Mom thinks it's a big deal or something. I make new friends there, much cooler friends than Jake and Noah. They show me things adults use, like beer and "weed". Mom wasn't happy when she found out. I just wondered what it was like.

I meet a girl. Her name is Anna. She's so pretty, my heart stops whenever I look at her. Well, not really, but still. Of course I can jump over all three of these desks! I wonder if Anna is watching?

I bring Anna home to meet mom. They talk about stupid things like clothes, but they seem to be having fun. Anna catches me watching her and winks. I wonder if she's the one.

Mother watches as I say "I do". She has tears in her eyes, but applauds louder than anyone else. My bride throws the flowers, and my little sister catches them. She sticks her tongue out at me. I roll my eyes and grab my new wife around the waist to draw her in for a kiss. I wonder if this is heaven.

On Mother's Day we visit. Anna makes an announcement. Mother starts crying again. She cries a lot. She asks if we know if it's a boy or a girl. Anna says she hopes it's twins. They start talking about potential names. I wonder if it would be rude to go get a beer.

My son just turned two. He plays on the floor with his truck toys while I watch TV beside him. Anna sings in the kitchen while she fixes us both lunch. She asks me a question and I am distracted. When I turn back, my son is staring out the window at the sky, eyes wide.

"I wonder why it's blue," he says. I shrug.

I wonder, too.

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