2 Sharp

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• Sorrow •

“I have shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower waiting for you. Also a random lotion bottle next to the sink. Enjoy your shower. I’ll be waiting in here to make sure that no one bothers you.”

As he walked to the sofa, he disconnected to me and went on his phone. Then pulled out the notepad page that he had written on with all the things we needed to be prepared for the memorial. He had to be researching more to make sure things were getting settled and organized more.

Headed into the bathroom and turned the light on. It was full of similar colors of the bedroom. The cabinets underneath the sink was a continuation of the wood that was present in the bedroom. Same color and rose carvings. The counter top for the sink was just marble white and the inside of the shower shared the same exact marble. The tiles were ruby red diamonds with small white marble diamonds in a popular 1980’s pattern. The towels were a dark brown that closely resembled black. Just like all the wood did as well. The metal accessories were a dark brass that looked like gunmetal.

Above the toilet, there was a singular photo of a rose in a black setting. It looked like something that was bought from a store since the wood didn’t cooperate with the wood features inside of the bathroom. It was no doubt a beautiful picture but I expected a painting, like the rest of the house contained. It was almost oddly suspicious.

Besides that, I proceeded to take my clothes off after shutting the door and turning on the water. The water had no problem adjusting to the desired heat in a quick manner. Unlike my mom’s house.

Thinking about that house almost felt like a distant memory. It no longer felt like my own home, at least not anymore. I couldn’t even count the days it had been since I’ve last been there. I was at the Huntington’s basement for longer than a week, the amount of days was still unknown to me. I’ve been in the Saltzman mansion for about 4 days, I think. Still no one has clarified how long I was in the basement. Time wasn’t mine to be had during that time. Yet, I felt like it had been months since I was last there. My own clothes, my own shoes, my own body wash and lotion.

Tony telling my mom that I was going to boot camp felt like a strange comparison to what I’ve had to deal with lately. Pushed against my boundary and limits. Besides all the difficulty, my life hasn’t held more meaning to me and hasn’t been so adventurous as it has been lately. It feels like my life was where it was meant to be and if felt rewarding.

During my shower, I kept thinking about how I couldn’t imagine my life with Tony. He felt like my soulmate since I first laid my eyes on him. Even though he presents himself as such a bad boy, his heart and personality isn’t full with bad intensions. He’s one of the more caring people I have come to know.

The amount of respect he had for his grandfather was astounding and you could tell her would listen to him with true aspiration. His love for books and reading, it wouldn’t be where it is now without Anxillion. The library he owned is grand and a readers dream. Especially the ancient novelty is unlike any I have ever seen anywhere. Unusually spectacular.

I finished my shower quickly and dressed myself. Black t-shirt and black jeans. No bra and the bikini underwear sat underneath. Even though it wasn’t originally my clothes, it felt as if I picked them from the store for myself personally. They fit perfectly and in a way I would prefer.

I also quickly used the toilet and washed my hands. Afterwards, I slowly opened the bathroom door and Tony was in the same spot doing the same thing. Looking at the notepad page and his phone.

“Looks like you’re researching hard about everything. Need any help?” I walk over and sit close to him. To the point our thighs are touching.

“So far I’ve got everything I need. Just have to do some calls in the morning to get other things settled. I called the funeral home while you were with Tiffany and they said tomorrow they weren’t available to a meeting but the day after they were.”

“Make sense. Did you still need to run some errands tomorrow? Clothes shopping? I’m still in need of some underwear and bras. Also a pair of shoes since I’m still wear the same pair of slippers you gave me. Not very presentable.”

“Certainly, we can do that tomorrow.” He nodded his head. “Actually, would you want Tiffany to take you instead? I need to go outside and take care of the garden and the landscape. Things have been getting a bit out of hand.”

“I’ll ask Tiffany if she’ll take me tomorrow. I’m sure she’d love to go for a girls shopping trip.” I smiled to have him not worry about not wanted to go shopping with me. Since he didn’t seem like a guy who would be walking into a lingerie store with me to get some undergarments.

“Okay. Perfect.” He smiled, then settled his phone and paper on the opposite side of him. Turning to me and giving me a comforting hug.

“Thank you so much. I know life has been a rollercoaster lately but I seriously don’t know how I could be so sane without you. Having you makes life more manageable. With Anxillion now gone, it is difficult for me and I still haven’t come to terms with it. Yet, had you not been here, I would have lost myself from the knowledge of his passing.

“I was having more worried about you and could fathom having you gone. It sounds a bit selfish. I was more worried about your life than Anxillion. He has lived a long life and he was struggling lately. I’m sure he died in a way that gave him satisfaction. Keeping any and all secrets hidden so our enemies couldn’t conquer. I wouldn’t have expect anything less from him.

“Also.” He sighed. “I feel I must be honest with you. I want you to know that I was over hearing you and Tiffany’s conversation. How she saved you and led Anxillion down to his death. I have to be transparent and say that was she had done is completely forgiven. Only because in the end, she saved you and kept you alive. Had she saved herself and not you. I would probably have killed her myself.”

“Oh, That’s frightening. Did you hear the part about how I wanted to talk to you about everything?” I asked him.

“What exactly did you want to talk about?” He seemed curious, but only because there was a possibility that he didn’t know something. I could see in his eyes if he didn’t know to be worried or fill himself with wanting to kill someone.

“Well. I saw Anxillion get taken away. I was trying my best to be their friends. They hit him so hard that he fell to the ground. All I could think about is you. How much that would have hurt you to have him dead. Even though you are glad I’m still alive, I know you have feelings that are bottling up. I’m scared to see when that happens.”

“I promise you, it will be difficult for me. Sorrow is not something I’m familiar with and haven’t had to lose someone I’ve loved dearly. I’m not one to love others so easily. Even family, sadly. Anxillion will be missed and it will be difficult at some point. Yet I stand to what I’ve said. He has lived a life, long and memorable. Being 96 is an accomplishment in itself. Especially in my family and still coming out to be a human. He chose his life. He’s never been
easy geared by others.

“Even though Tiffany told him to check up on the landscape out at the street that day. Knowing him, he would have saw through Tiffany’s lies. Personally, I think he knew what he was getting himself into. I think, he was just ready.” He continued to hug me and squeezed me a little tighter.

I never would have thought that. He had been alive for so long, has seen and done so much. Tony had to be the one person that knew him the most. If he thought that, it must have been his intentions.

“Question. In Anxillion’s journal, did you know about him being depressed? He said that he didn’t suspect you knowing since you were always reading. Did you know?” I asked him as we still held each other firmly.

“Yes, I did. It didn’t seem like my place to intervene. I wasn’t even sure what it was about. Obviously until I read his journal.”

“Does Tiffany know about Anxillion being in love with Eunice?”

“No. She’s never been very interested in reading all the books. My father didn’t even though. Well, he still doesn’t know.”

“What? It’s been a secret the whole time?” I let go of our grasp.

“Pretty much. He wasn’t one to say everything on his mind. He was bitter at times but he wasn’t one to express his emotions with others. His secrets were that, secrets.”

“I’ve never met someone who kept secrets to grave. Quite literally.”

“I’m sure he has more secrets. Those will be the ones that go to the grave since I don’t know them. I’m sure no one else knows. Another reason why I idealized him. He could keep a promise, even if it risked him life doing so. He was honest with himself and showed his true colors to everyone. Not favoring anyone. Except Eunice.”

“I still have to read more in his journal.” I told Tony. I was dying to read more. Figuring out how my grandma died had to be in the journal. It was like a book I couldn’t get myself to put down.

“Read it now. I still have more researching to do. I also could get. Head start on the landscaping that I have planned for tomorrow. Learn how to use everything and also squeeze in a meal too.” I cringed to the thought of him eating blood for a second.

“Okay. Sounds like a deal.” I hugged him once last time before we both got up.

“If anything happens, just scream my name really loud. I’ll hear you. If my parents come into the bedroom, scream my name. Alright?”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise.” I was being honest.

“Alright then. Enjoy reading.” He kissed my lips and off he went in quick speed.

I walked like a normal human being up the step to the 3rd floor loft area. The journal was still waiting for me on the end table next to the rocking chair. Just where I had left it.

I settled into the chair and grabbed the journal. I had a piece of random paper tucked into the page I had left off at. It appeared that I was close to being two-thirds of the way through the journal.


February 1st, 2010
My son has still lingered at the mansion. His wife waits for him to return and it seems as if he just doesn’t want to leave. Richard has been around a lot and they’ve been hangout every time he’s over. Possible without Marionette here, he is able to act like himself without fear of disobeying or making her upset.
Other than that, Eunice seems traumatized by whatever has happened to her. She still isn’t willing to talk about it and I’m not going to force her. The only think she said was that she was close to her death. After that, she had yet to provide any more information with it.
It is clear that she is worried about something. She’s been nose deep into her family book. The exact book she wanted me to keep safe until her granddaughter was of age. Telling me that once she had finished with it, that I must keep it safe once again.
The further she keeps reading her book, the more lost she appears. Richard hasn’t been involved with her and always acts as if they aren’t mother and son. To this very day, my son still knows nothing about them being related. I’ve had to keep this secret longer than I feel I should have. I promised to Eunice and I always keep my promises.

February 13th, 2010
Tomorrow, I plan on presenting a picture I have painted for Eunice. She had always fancied roses. I have decided to paint her a rose. One that will never die.
Sincerely I hope she likes it and keeps it. She doesn’t even need to tell anyone I painted it for her. She could easily say she bought it. Though it would be an honor to have my painting shown off for others to see.
Today, she hadn’t left her room. I do get worried when she does this. Countless times she had warned me to never interrupt her when she does this. The connection she feels with the book could kill someone if interrupted. That alone has had me ridden in my room. Though it doesn’t mean I don’t worry sick about her.

February 14th, 2010
Eunice hasn’t left her room once today. No chance to offer her the painting as a Valentine’s gift. I’ve become extremely worried about her. She hadn’t eaten in days and I haven’t heard. Noise from the room. No toilet flushing, shower taking, walking. I’ve stood in front of the door a few times today debating whether or not I should open it. Every time, I choose against opening it.
I worry something is wrong. Maybe she left while I was sleeping. Though she isn’t one to disappear so suddenly. She was to social to not say goodbye.
For the time being, the painting sits in my loft. Waiting for her presence.

February 16th, 2010
I’ve lightly knocked on Eunice’s door. Yet no answer. Feared she’s dead in her room. I talked to my Grandson, Tony, to see if he could hear a heart beat from her room. He was confused with my request but willingly oblige.
Notifying me that he could in fact hear a heartbeat within the bedroom. The heartbeat was regular and consistent. He described the flow of the blood being healthy and seemed in no danger.
Even though he thinks she’s fine, I believe otherwise. Eunice’s behavior seemed troubling beforehand. Now, she hasn’t been seen for a few days. Hasn’t eaten, unless she has food in her bedroom. Every part of me wants to sneak in a make sure she is certainly alright.

February 28th, 2010
How is it possible that she still lingers in her bedroom with food or water. I suppose she could grab water from the bathroom faucet, but I don’t think it’s ultimately healthy to be drinking the well water. That’s why we have a filtration in the kitchen to make the water cleaner to drink. Just she still hadn’t left her room.
I find myself sitting by her door. Wishing that she would just step on the wooden floor and make it creak with her footstep. The flooring her room still has no rugs to sound proof the loose floor boards. Making it easy to know whether or not someone was stepping around in that particular bedroom. Yet, the whole time she had locked herself inside of the bedroom. I haven’t once heard the floor boards creak and I’m dawning to my wits’ end here.
Everyday, I ask Tony to check up on her since he can hear much clearer than I possibly can. Everyday is the same answer. No change in blood flow and heart is beating at a regular pace.
Is it at all possible that she’s in a coma? A magically induced coma?
I’ve been so overwhelmed about Eunice that I hadn’t even noticed that Andrew had left. Richard was also no where to be seen either. I was going to ask him personally if he could understand what was going on. Since he had already left, I wasn’t going to have him come here on my behalf.
It’s so troubling. I want to open the door to make sure she’s okay. The thought lingering in my head to prevent me from doing so is the time Eunice said I should walk in when she’s dealing with magic in such way. It can severely harm me. At this point, I not caring about the harm it could do to be. Instead, the harm she may be in.

March 5th, 2010
Tony didn’t hear a heart beat today and my heart couldn’t stand the door being closed anymore. I nearly.
Broke the handle on the door getting it open. When I opened the door, she wasn’t anywhere inside the bedroom. Closet, bathroom, under the bed, no where. Tony was already ahead of me checking everywhere else in the home and she was no where to be found.
Deep down, I only had bad feelings about what had happen to her. I called Richard since he and my son found her last and maybe whoever took her the first time was responsible of this again.
Richard took the information I gave him and how she had locked herself in the guest bedroom for over 3 weeks. The last I knew, she was acting strangely depressed while reading the family’s book. He asked if the book was still here. I told him no.
Just now I looked up to the book shelf in my bedroom. That very book sat was on the shelf, being obviously noticeable with its large bind against the other.
It sat in between the empty journal that Tony had given me on Christmas and a journal I haven’t seen before. When I grabbed that very journal, the outside of it was blank. Opening it, the first page had a note from Eunice.
“My Dearest Anxillion, I’m afraid this is farewell.”
The rest of the journal is too much for me to emotionally. Rewriting it will flood my eyes with tears.
She’s won’t be coming back. When I hear of her passing, I shouldn’t be of sadness. Though that isn’t for her to decide. The love I never got to be with, gone forever. The though aches my heart deeper than I’ve ever known.
Physically, my heart hurt and felt broken. If only I could rewind time. We could have been happy together. Had I just been brave enough early on to tell her my feelings towards her.
All I hope is that Richard and my son find her before anything happens.
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