“Alaïa! Wake up it’s time for school!”
I already knew that, I’ve been awake trying to prepare myself for my last day of school. I’ve been struggling with trying to control myself and not get another panic attack. High school is not sunshine and rainbows like they portray in movies. Why can’t I just get my diploma and leave that place forever.
“Alaïa, come on you’ll be late.” My mom said entering my room.
“Can I just stay, please.” She just gave me the same pitied face she’s been giving me since middle school.
“You know you can’t, it’s your last day, and they made an exception that you don’t have to attend the graduation ceremony. Also that today is your last day of school and not tomorrow like the others.”
“Ok, I’ll leave right now.” I said.
“Things will get better Alaïa, I promise.” She said and walked out of my room. I sighed and walked downstairs to leave. That’s what you always say.
My life hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows neither. My dad died before I was born, and I think that is the most tragic thing that has ever happened to me. Even though I never met him something inside feels so dead inside when I think of him. Another thing is that I’m not a normal person. I have these weird abilities no one should have and that makes me a freak. I mean I’ve been told that almost my whole life.
As I’m walking to school I can’t help but wonder, do you ever feel like you’re being watched. You can feel that hard stare that makes you aware of your surroundings. Maybe it’s just my disorders, the reason why they call me a freak. I have heightened smell, hearing, eyesight, and better stamina. I say it’s a blessing and a curse honestly. The blessing because I can do a lot with my disabilities, but the problems are bigger. Like for hearing, my poor ears hurt when the school bell rings or when there’s loud things in general.
They all make me flinch and I always have to cover my ears. You can only imagine what happens with the other ones. The smell is ok when something smells good, but when something smells bad it’s awful. My eyesight is very good, I love that I can see with so much clarity and I can spot the slightest movement. Then there is my stamina I’m stronger than the kids in school, and the guys don’t like that. To add another thing, let’s not forget about me being allergic to silver.
It burns me and it also weakens me, I find that very weird. My favorite one is that I can heal really fast, it’s amazing, I can get hurt and then it will completely heal. It’s like magic, but all of these “disorders” have consequences. I’ve been bullied all my life and I’ve never had one friend. I just wish I was a normal kid, what I would give to be normal. I’ve asked my mother to take me to doctors to see the problem but she just ignores me. She says that they don’t have a name for them because they haven’t been discovered.
She gets nervous when I asked about them, now I don’t even bother because I know she will say the exact same thing over and over again. “Alaïa, how many times do I have to tell you that they haven’t been discovered.” Now I just go on with my “disorders”. As I get closer to my school I always feel like someone’s watching me but I can’t see or hear anything. Maybe I’m losing my mind. I get in my hell on Earth which is school I turn one last time but again there’s nothing. I’ve been doing this for 3 months, I know there’s someone watching me I can feel it.
“Hey FREAK!! What are you looking at!” Mathew shouted.
Yes all my life has been hell thanks to this specific person that never leaves me alone. Good thing today is the last day of school. I don’t want to start any fights so I’m just going to walk away. Today is your last day, you’re getting your diploma and you’re leaving… just breathe. I always tell my self this because one day I stood up for myself and my eyes changed to gold, and things got bad. My eyes turn gold when I get really mad or when I feel an emotion strong, so I just keep my cool now and stay away from trouble. The name calling never stopped but at least people stopped trying to fight me.
Sadly I have to attend all my classes today and then pick up my diploma at the end of school. I’m not graduating with my class, they graduate tomorrow. Today is my last day because I didn’t want to be part of their celebration, I don’t want to celebrate anything with them. All my life I’ve suffered and the teachers pretend they don’t see anything, I hate this town and they hate me. They let me do this because not only I have perfect grades but they understand the “situation”. The situation was that everyone treats me like crap and they don’t do anything about it. I shouldn’t have to do this, I should be graduating.
As much as I want to be normal I’m not, but at-least the teachers should defend me or discipline the other students. I mean even my step-sister thinks I’m a freak, she doesn’t walk with me to school or she doesn’t hang out with me. I don’t take it at heart though, I know she doesn’t want to be called the freaks sister. I mean nobody knows we’re step-sisters, because we have different last names. My mom married my step-dad when I was 3 and he already had a daughter,Laila, she was one. Then they had my little sister Madison.I have my dad’s last name, I wish I met him, but of course he died in a car accident. Tragic I know, just like my whole life. I wish you were still with me dad, I love you.
“Ms. Sanders you’re here early.” My favorite teachers says as I walk in her class.
“Good Morning, Mrs. Geist.” I say feeling cheery.
Mrs. Geist has always been the nicest teacher. I met her my freshman year and I’ve always hung out with her since then. She’s the only one that likes me, she’s never made me feel like I don’t belong. Every time someone makes fun of me she yells at them, she even yells at the teachers.
I’m going to miss her, she’s like a grandma to me. She’s retiring though, she told me when I left she would leave too. She’s my only friend, but that’s ok I like her company. I’m going to miss her dark red hair, and her funny jokes. For a lady her age she doesn’t care what you say about her, she takes all the risks.That’s why I love her, she’s like my fairy god-mother. She’s always there when I need her.
“How’s it feel to be graduating.” she said making air quotes.
“It feels great you know, I’m finally going to get out of the place that made my life hell.” She just looks at me and nods.
“Oh dear, I feel like I could’ve done more to help you have good time.” She said tearing up. I go up to her and hug her tightly, she’s the only reason why I’m still here and that’s because of her.
“Oh Mrs. Geist, don’t cry. You did everything right, because of you I had a friend. You made high school great for me, I appreciate that so much.” I say as I pull away, I meant every word from the bottom of my heart. I smiled at her, this will be the last time I’ll see her.
“Ahhh!!” I covered my ears as tight as I can with my hands. At least this is going to be the last day I hear those stupid bells.
“Alaïa are you ok.” Mrs. Geist said with concern in her voice.
“Yes I’m ok, don’t worry, I’ll see you during lunch.”
“Ok, have a good day sweetheart. Don’t let those fuckers get to you, flip ’em off.” She tells me.
“Will do Mrs. Geist.” I say, maybe I should take her advice.
Time for class, hopefully today goes by fast and I don’t get into any problems. I have 4 classes only, because I’m advanced. That means after lunch I get to go home. The bad thing about going to class is that I have Mathew in 3 classes. He makes my life a living hell in all 3, but if he tries anything today I will punch him. I won’t hold back anymore, I should’ve stood my ground since day one and I will today. Mathew was your typical bad boy, he had black hair and blue eyes so all the girls would fall at his feet. Although he would just break their hearts, they would still fall for him.
My first period is Math, I hate it even though it’s easy but I think everyone hates math. I go inside trying to ignore the whispers even though I can hear them clearly. The only thing I hate from my hearing is that I can hear the disgusting things they whisper about me. The things they whisper are so dirty and sickening.
That is what the whispers always consist of, my body and all the things they would do to me. I feel dirty and disgusting because I always hear what they want to do to me and how they want to do it. They know I can hear them, they do it on purpose.
That’s why I wear baggy clothes, hoodies, t-shirts and pants. I guess it doesn’t work, because they started doing it more. I try to ignore them but I feel so dirty afterwards, the way they talk about my body and the way they call me slut. Today is the last day… just breathe I say to myself. Then the biggest jerk of them all comes in...Mathew.
“What up Sanders, or should I say Freak.” he emphasized. I just try to ignore him I mean what’s the point the teachers never tell him anything because his dad is the principal. Yup lucky me, he’s a little daddies boy.
“Are you ignoring me Sanders, you’re breaking my heart.” He said clutching his chest. I just look down to my desk and try not to run, come on today is the last day.
”Maybe this will help you listen.” I looked up and he pulled out an air horn and blew it in my face. “AAHHHHH!” I covered my ears and yelled, the pain I felt was nothing compared I’ve ever felt it hurt so bad that my ears are ringing. I dropped to the ground and cried.
Why me, have I not had enough, why me. Everyone was in there seats either quiet and staring at me or laughing. The teacher was completely oblivious of what was going on, it was always this way. Always me but this will be the last time, they’re going to wish they never talked about me or made fun of me.
This time it will be different. I got up and went straight to Mathew and I wiped the tears from my face. Standing right in front of him was very intimidating, he was super tall, I mean I’m 5′7 but he looks like he’s 6′0. His eyes just pierce through me but I’ve had enough, I’ll show him who’s boss now.
“What are you going to do Sanders...cry.” He started to laugh but then I punched him right in the face, right in the nose to be exact. All you heard were gasps, but I heard his nose break I mean I was shocked as hell in the inside but in the outside I was smirking. No more nice girl.
“What are you going to do Mathew...cry to your daddy. Don’t ever mess with me again.” He was a bloody mess. My hand was fine it didn’t even hurt. With that I grabbed my stuff and left the class. Well I should just demand my diploma and get the fuck out of this hell hole, and that’s exactly what I did. Fuck this whole fucking town of course with the exception of Mrs. Geist.
“What a jerk!” My mom said. I told her all about today, she was proud that I stood up for myself. I was pretty surprised myself. What a great way to finish high school.
“Oooooo Alaïa is strong.” Maddy said with a twinkle in her eyes. She was always so nice to me. She has my mom’s hazel eyes and her hair was dark brown like me. Laila was more like her dad light brown hair with blue eyes.
“No Alaïa is not strong, what she did was pathetic.” Laila said walking in to the kitchen. “You know you could’ve ruined my reputation.” She said pointing at me.
“Laila! What have I said in treating your sister like that. You’re going to apologize and go to your room you’re grounded.” My mom said. Wow, she has never spoken to me like that. Was I really that disappointing.
“She’s my step sister, ok let’s get that clear. Why is she always the perfect one!” She left yelling to her room.
“It’s ok mom, I know she didn’t mean it. I’m going to go to my room.” I told her walking out of the kitchen and heading towards my room. I feel like a disappointment, I made my sister feel bad. I’m not perfect though, I seem to ruin her life at home and in school. I know she’s my step-sister but I’ve always treated her like we’re real siblings, I guess she doesn’t want that anymore.
My room has always been my safe place. Ever since I was young I was treated very poorly so I made my room my safe place. It was fairly simple, white walls, white drawers, and well everything white. I just like being organized, I love to read here especially at night when the moon is shining down on me. It makes me feel safe…and at peace.
“Come in.” I shout.
“Hi Lai, can I hang out with you.” Maddy said. I love when she calls me Lai, she used to call me that when she couldn’t pronounce my name. Then of course Laila said that I didn’t have “Lai” in my name and she did. I guess she’s been slowly adding all this anger towards me.
“Of course, you never have to ask.“I smiled. “What do you want to watch?”
“Mmmmmm Moana!! I love that movie.”
“Ok, Moana it is.”
I sat up on my bed and spread my legs, then as usual she goes in between my legs and she does the same thing. Her back is against my stomach, and her head is on my chest. The rest of the day consisted of her giggles, which made my day. She was already asleep so I tucked her in, and as for me I got up to read. I sat by my window and I admired the beautiful moon it’s like she’s smiling down at me. She looked perfect the way she was shining in the night sky. I look at her and pray that she hears me, “Please tell me my life is going to get better.” That’s all I really wish for, a better life…and well it did…for a while.