He felt lonely. He rarely felt lonely. He would wander all day around to find something to eat and his mother was with him all the time to instruct, to teach, to love and to make him warm. He remembered his days with his mother. Even though, his mother called him a genius, to him she was a real genius. She taught him everything, he knew. She taught him how to hunt, what to eat and what not to eat from the lizard and Kappa. She told him that when the biggest and brightest star in the sky appears again, the day has passed and 1 year had 365 days. She told him not to go to the Land of ghosts, the land from where huge explosive and screeching sounds were heard occasionally. That land erupted deadly gases. They could smell them even from far away. She told him these were the sounds that ground made when it farted. Whenever these gases erupted his Mother would cough heavily. She was in pain.
“Mother” He wondered. He always wondered what “Mother” meant. Even now, when he had grown a lot, he could not understand. He could never ask his mother what her name was or how he was born to her or for that matter, what being born meant.
“Now, I think about it, I could not ask mother many things.” He thought to himself staring in the dark space.
“I wanted to ask: How come we are all alone?; Why don’t you like Kappa-they are tasty?; Why do you cough?; Why Land farts are dangerous-I don’t feel anything breathing in them?; How come Mother can see me and I can’t see her?; what is pain?; and most importantly, What is a sun?”
Whenever he was happy, he would laugh and when he laughed, she would kiss him. He would laugh more, and she would kiss again and again and again. He would laugh until he was tired laughing, until his eyes cried laughing, until his heart gave out laughing. If he could, he would laugh forever and make her kiss him forever. He chuckled reminiscing.
As much as her kisses made him happy, they made him wonder how she knows where his forehead was. She would always kiss him on his forehead. He sometimes asked wondering how she knows, and she would say “Because I am your Mother”. He believed Mother was some God, like the one she told him about. He believed so until she died because his mother told him: gods do not die. He wished she were a god.
He remembered; he would cry all the time when he was very young because of hunger. But he heard his mother rarely crying. Three times only. One time she cried, when he tried to catch a lizard. He was only two years old. They were hungry for days and he could not resist. He heard it and ran after it. Lizard was fast. He could not catch it. He lost it and returned to where his mother was and heard her crying out loud and screaming his name, repeatedly. He could feel, she was going in other direction. He ran after her and grabbed her by her leg. She sat down on her knees, took him in her warm embrace and cried for a long time. After that, she made him promise that he will never leave her alone again.
Second time was, when he just turned four. They were not able to catch any Lizards for a long time. He knew His mother did not like eating Kappa. She would eat very little from every hunt. She got very weak. So weak that she could not walk a hundred steps straight. They would walk a little, rest and walk again. Sitting in one place meant certain death. He would wait for his mother to sleep every day and wander around to find a Lizard. After months, he was able to catch one. He killed the Lizard, cleaned it, made pieces like his mother told him to, ran back and sat beside his mother waiting for her to wake up. She woke up after a little while. He happily presented the food to her. She sat there and called his name.
“Yes Mother! I am here.” He replied eagerly.
“Why are you standing there? Give your mother a warm hug.” She spread her arms.
“She does not know about the lizard?” He wondered.
“What? Come Here!” She said. He gave her a hug and told her that he had hunted a Lizard.
“What? What did you say? You alone hunted a lizard? How? Can you run that fast? Was it weak? You . . . You are not hurt. Are you? Come here! Let me see.” She sounded surprised happy and concerned at the same time.
She checked his body for any wounds. It was hard to make her believe that he had hunted the lizard, all alone. After that she did not say anything. She just cried and ate. It was the only time when she finished the whole Lizard herself.
“It must be very tasty” He had thought to himself.
The third time she cried, she created so many mysteries. She was the person who never said or did anything that she could not explain to Lee Sai, except for that one time. It was when he was about to turn eight. She had been coughing and sleeping for a few days. She could not eat properly. He remembered, She would even vomit. There was a land fart outside, and they were in a small cave. Unlike other times, Mother was lying on the ground with her head towards the mouth of the cave. She did not give him her warm hugs. He was a little disappointed. Her head was resting in his lap and he was trying to close the mouth of cave with his back. It had been a while, since mother had been sleeping after lots of coughing. She was not coughing anymore.