Old feelings, New Memories
I walked alone towards their booth, swerving in and out of the sea of people that started to back away once they realized who I was. The music was loud, the lights were swerving in each and every direction, and by the looks of the intoxicated crowd, it was the fucking party of the year.
I couldn’t see James sitting at his booth, but I could smell him nearby. I was sure he was watching me.
I slowly approached Xanos and Marcus’s booth. I saw Christian first on the perimeter of security men surrounding the brothers. He was looking good tonight, and I’m sure he was trying to impress a woman he could take home later. He wore a dark button-down shirt, black pants, and Italian leather shoes, like he was trying to push down the formal side of himself. As I looked to him, he immediately turned his head like he didn’t see me walking by.
I’m sure Marcus would wring his neck if he spoke to me before he got the chance to. The old me would sour at the level of possession, but now I understood why. I was a Lycan, but I was still technically a wolf. I understood the way they thought now, the way they acted, all their impulses. I understood the pure rage and emotional outbursts of Marcus, and the dark and quiet nature of Xanos.
I understood them like I was reading a book.
I swayed my hips side to side, showing off my new body. I was stronger, taller, leaner, but still held my shape I had before. My breasts were a full cup larger, and I didn’t mind at all. I wasn’t expecting my body to change in the way it did, but I suppose it was something I would never figure out, and I wasn’t going to start complaining about it now.
I was going to embrace it.
Xanos and Marcus had their drinks in hand. They were subtly talking with one another, and not a step further, I caught the attention of Xanos.
He tapped Marcus’s shoulder and we all caught view of one another.
They were casual, and dressed similarly, but with different colours. Xanos, with his button-down white shirt, dark pants, and a leather watch. Marcus wore a black button-down shirt, black denim jeans, and a large gold Rolex watch. I looked to Marcus’s bare forearms for a brief moment, watching the tattoos that climbed down his arm.
I paused, and my heart fluttered for a moment, but I immediately turned my attention back to their faces.
They were both neatly groomed, Marcus, with his usual tousled hair, and Xanos, with an almost similar hair style that was neater at the sides.
The tea was still in full effect, but something in the back of my mind was telling me to get closer. I had a sneaking suspicion it was her, my other half, the Lycan that I had kept hidden away for so long. She wanted me to go for my mates, but I was in control of my body, and I wasn’t going to let her dictate what was right for me.
Tonight was all a show, a tease, a display of my control and power that I held now. I was planning on getting close to Marcus and Xanos, maybe even closer than I originally planned. I wanted to show them that I could get close to them and still have the strength to pull away.
No matter what happened I was going to pull away eventually. This was my game plan, and I was going to stick to it.
James’s pull wasn’t as strong for me, but he was probably feeling the same addictive side effects that Marcus and Xanos felt, and I was going to capitalize on the situation.
I held an empty glass in one hand while holding the bottle of whiskey in the other.
Johnnie Walker Black Label
Just like when Marcus and I first got together. The night that changed me.
The night I fell in love with Marcus.
I was finally in front of their booth, mere feet away.
This was it. I inhaled their scents like I was smelling fresh laundry. They were both frozen. Their eyes completely blackened. They both stood from their seats as I approached. They signaled for their entourage to back away, and the circle of men that once surrounded them disappeared into the crowd.
I planted the bottle hard onto the table. “Drink?” I smiled and looked to both of them.
They didn’t reply, and their eyes remained fixed on me.
“I suppose I’ll drink myself then.” I sat down, not giving them another look as I poured myself a drink in an empty glass sitting on the table.
As soon as I started to pour, Xanos sat down, followed by Marcus. I kept my focus on the glass, trying to figure out how this was going to go down. I planned for this night, but what I wasn’t planning on was how our first meeting would play out.
I’m sure they had a million questions for me.
I pulled two empty glasses from the middle of the table and began to pour. I could feel their heat emanating from their bodies, and their eyes, trailing me up and down, but not a word was spoken.
Just as I was about to pour, Xanos placed his hand on mine.
I froze because I wasn’t expecting it. I immediately brought my eyes to him. Feeling his touch brought back a lot of memories, a reminiscent of a time where I thought we could all be together. He looked tired, his eyes were drawn in, like he hasn’t slept a good night for a while, but his dark orbs still looked to me in the same way they did the last time I saw him. That night, at Derek’s, the basement. Now I was wondering if Marcus knew, but he must of, because his mark was visible on his neck.
I pulled my hand away and we all exchanged different looks. They must have been pissed it was me. I was the Alpha they wanted to kill, and I was the Alpha that was slowly taking back all of Hiro’s lost territories.
“Please.” Xanos’s deep voice almost brought goosebumps to my skin, but I kept my composure.
He pulled in the glass and started to top up my drink, then poured two drinks for himself and Marcus. He then firmly placed the bottle on the middle of the table.
“To the new Alpha.” Hearing Marcus’s voice, just like Xanos, brought more goosebumps to my skin. He lifted his glass and looked to Xanos, then me. I could tell he was holding himself back with the questions as we were littered with enemies and other packs. It was difficult for Marcus to control himself then it was for his brother, and I was surprised how well he was doing under the pressure of me being here.
“To us.” I brought my drink up, briefly looking to both of them. They were dumbfounded, but remained silent, their expressions blank, unable to show their emotion in front of others.
This was fun, and I was only getting started.
I pursed my drink to my lips, and slowly, opened my throat, tilting myself sideways to give them just the right angle. The right angle to imagine me in whatever way they wanted to imagine me. I wanted them to fantasize, I wanted them to drool over me, all while I drank straight whiskey without giving the slightest flinch to its burning sensation.
I closed my eyes as I emptied the entire contents down my throat, slightly grazing the outer edge of the cup as I finished. I wiped a droplet for my lip with my finger and gave a small smile.
“That was refreshing.” I placed the empty glass on the table and leaned back into the booth, allowing my upper body to be in full view above the table.
I could hear their hearts beating, then I could feel one of their legs vibrating under the table.
They were frozen, and they didn’t bother to join me on the cheers as they were too infatuated with their new reality.
Xanos started drinking first as he kept eye contact with me, then Marcus followed suit. I raised my eyebrows curiously as they raced each other to finish their drinks. Not surprisingly, Marcus was the first one to finish.
He slammed his empty glass down to the table. “We were hoping to sit down with Alpha Hiyori.”
I lightly played with my empty glass on the table and raised my eyebrows, “Oh, were you now?”
Xanos placed his glass onto the table, “You’ve been creating quite the-”
“PROBLEM.” Marcus forcefully pushed his glass to the middle of the table, almost knocking over the whiskey bottle.
“So does me being your problematic Alpha change anything?” I asked.
Both of them paused as they looked to each other.
“We need to talk,” Marcus’s face dropped, and I realized that he was looking tired himself, just like his brother.
“Privately.” Xanos started to pour another drink in his glass.
“Can’t you see, I’m busy entertaining my guests. I’m just here to introduce myself. Maybe I can get my Beta to pencil you in. You must remember her Marcus? She said it was quite the meeting you had.” I tilted my head to Marcus who went wide eyed.
His jaw clenched tightly as he reached for the bottle and empty glass. He started to pour another drink for himself.
“Any manners?” I pushed my empty glass to him in the same fashion he did, and with enough force to catch his attention with my fast reflexes. He caught it just in time and growled to me menacingly.
Regardless of how he was feeling, he began pouring me another drink. He was doing what he was told, and I was loving every minute of it.
What a good boy.
“He’s right, we need to talk,” Xanos remarked.
“NO.” I grabbed my glass from Marcus and down the entire drink in a matter of seconds. The old me would whimper and start to feel the effects of alcohol, but it took a lot for me now to become intoxicated. My metabolism was on another level since my Lycan appeared and downing entire drinks in short periods of time was child’s play at most.
I slammed my glass hard onto the table. “You listen to me. I’m Alpha. I’m not a fucking toy to be passed around. This is my party, and my territory. I’m not having this conversation with you now. If you don’t like it, you can go on home. Maybe I’ll find other allies I can trust better then the two of you. Besides, you both were lying out of your asses the day we met.”
Xanos clenched his hand hard onto the table but remained silent.
“So tell me, ‘Alpha Hiyori’, what the hell was that little show you put on up there? A new boyfriend I see?” Marcus growled and looked up to DJ Rage still busy playing his set on the balcony above.
I clenched my jaw hard, “None of your god damn business.”
They both looked to each other with smug expressions.
“Is this a game to you?” Xanos asked.
“In fact, yes, a game, I like that. Aren’t we all fighting to dominate one another?” I replied.
Marcus smirked, “So tell me ALPHA. Is this a team or a solo game?”
“I’m not sure, I’m still writing the rules.”
“You don’t have enough power to write the rules,” Xanos replied.
I looked to the busy club then back to Xanos and Marcus. “No, your right, not quite yet…”
“And what’s the prize of this game?” Marcus asked.
I leaned in closer to the table, “Elysium City.”
“But at what price?” Marcus started to pour another drink and placed the bottle back down onto the table.
I let out a small smile, “More territories of course. Something every Alpha desires.”
“NO,” Xanos poured another drink, downed the entire contents, and slammed the glass hard back onto the table. “The price is your morality, and what you will do to get what you want. Everything has a price, not just a monetary one.”
I pause for a moment and thought about what he said. I haven’t been Alpha for a long time, but I got the gist of what he was saying. I remember Kai giving me the ultimatum the day he tried to kill me.
It was kill or be killed.
I looked Xanos dead in the eye. His face deepened as he stared back to me. It was like he was trying to tell me something but didn’t have the right words to formulate it into a sentence.
“We pay for that price everyday. You will see over time.” Xanos looked to Marcus and nodded. It was almost as if they were speaking telepathically to one another.
“There is always another way of doing business,” I interjected.
“I used to think the same way, but really, if its not us, its someone else that is ten times worse then ourselves. Imagine the city being run by James? What do you think that would be like? Call it the hard truth.” Marcus replied.
“I’ll call it making yourself sleep better at night. Justifying greed and evil is just as bad as doing it, but I’m single now, I got my own pack to take care of, and I suppose we can all have our separate opinions.”
Xanos face dropped as he rubbed his mark. I felt like I was staring back at a reflection. A piece of me was connected to both of them. I still wore Marcus’s mark, and Xanos wore my mark, but we weren’t fully connected. It was like an unfinished piece of art, and it was so damn tempting sometimes to just pick up the paint brush to finish the canvas.
“Just be careful. We can help you…We can help each other,” Xanos remarked.
I scoffed and filled my drink once again, “I’m far from needing help.”
“That asshole is going to come for you. You think he has more control than us? He is the opposite of control and its only a matter of time until we all go manic. Now that you are here, the pull will only get worse.” Marcus looked around and I knew instantly who he was referring to. It was James. I could smell him but wasn’t sure where he was.
“I can take care of myself. Just like when Andrew was there for me, after James raped me. He was there, but you chose not to help. Remember that?” I didn’t want to bring the topic up here, but I couldn’t help myself. It was on my mind, and I was going to tell Marcus the truth about how I felt.
Xanos head turned away when I mentioned the word rape, and Marcus’s eyes went full blown, like he was mentally cringing at the thought.
“I didn’t know,” Marcus muttered.
“You didn’t care.”
Marcus’s voice dropped, “I DIDN’T KNOW, and now I do, and it is fucking eating away at me everyday.”
“Don’t victimize yourself Marcus. What your feeling is only a taste of the nightmares I experience every time I go to sleep at night. I still remember James’s face, his expression, the way he talked down to me as he fucked me in my own bed.”
Xanos slammed his hand on the table, his eyes full of emotion. “There are too many ears in this place to be talking so openly about the past, don’t you think? You’re an Alpha now, your image to others whether you like it or not will dictate future alliances. I’m not saying that we should forget about what our little friend did to you, but now is not the time to be recollecting in front of strangers, or possibly enemies.”
I took a moment and looked to the security detail and guests walking by. In a way, he was right, and I was allowing my emotions to get the best of me. In some ways I was just like Marcus.
Xanos’s hand came onto mine suddenly, “I’m sorry for what happened. I just wished we could have known earlier, but I know you had your reasons. Just promise us you will be careful. There is still much you do not know about the other Alphas.”
For a moment, I felt a light spark. My body warmed up as I looked to his hand touching mine, then, Marcus’s hand came onto my other hand resting on the table. I looked to both of them.
I wanted to look past everything, the betrayal, the mistrust, the back handed deals, and honestly, I could look past some of it because I was caught up in my own lies too, but one thing would always linger in my mind.
He was gone and it was all because of them.
I had control, and this was just a test. Just like the countless tests Alpha Hiro put me through, hoping I would be able to subside my Lycan side and make rational decisions.
I whipped my hand back immediately as the thoughts started to flood my head.
“You don’t deserve me,” I whispered softly and got up from the booth, not giving them another look.
As I started walking towards the dance floor something in me sparked with joy, and for once, I felt like I had control of my life.
I was accomplished, I was free, and I was unstoppable.
And now, it was time to dance the night away.