The bitter December air began to smother me as a demonic cry broke through. My mind was absent of thought when all at once I fell forward, my whole body in motion, but instinct told me I would not be lucky enough to hit the earth bellow. I would fall for an age. My life it seemed was not real but a reflection of my thoughts.
Ten long years had been spent prior to this dream state wishing that my life was simple and as tranquil as my dreams. To me it had always been a fantasy to live as I had dreamed and to elope to the distant land of a reality where fantasy could flourish, like a beautiful creature, unafraid to grow.
The ways of fantasy are unknown to reality; which is all but an ominous land containing an array of cold, grey-looking buildings. However, when sleep attacks the human mind it is possible to combine this solemn world with a world of excessive perfection, a place in which it is possible indulge on the situations and sights of a world only ever in existence in the wishful mind of a human being. It was my life, adapted in exactly the way I had hoped. To me then this was the only way to live and thus it occurred. The fated day occurred! After that very day my life was never to be the same again. I remember the last time I saw, smelt, felt harsh reality and I miss it as anyone does when pain leaves you cold and weak.
No matter how indifferent I become now I will never regret leaving my real life behind and I know that it is still possible to visit that distant world. But only when my dreams become less frequent and I have a moment to compel myself to sleep. You see, reality only exists when I sleep and dreams have become my reality. It is very complex but I can only explain it by saying dreams and reality are now in place of each other. I wake to reality when I sleep and when I am awake I live my dreams. Neither is in any other way altered. My mind would orientate around the best of my memories and combine fantasy to make it entirely perfect. And so, after years of complex relationships, debts and loveless marriage, I turned to this. In a haze, I cannot recall how it occurred but I know I became stuck in this situation.
As I continued to fall I thought as hard as I could to wish that I was asleep so that I might escape this horrid eternal notion. As I did so I felt my body clash with a soft surface that sprung back. I was in bed at home. I rolled over onto my back to find a cream room with a wicker chair beside the bed. I lay in a sweat. I knew I was back and with some joy leapt out the bed, took a quick glance at the familiar chest of draws before me and bounded down the stairs like a child at Christmas time.
Once I had descended the steep stairs, I looked in front of me. There stood my tattered, oak door. I was home! I had no concept of time but I felt young. I knew that when I had left my life I had been twenty-two and this had been my home for five years. I had lived here since I got married, that was just after I began this peculiar transformation. I stood a little dazed. When all at once I felt a warm hand caress my arm. I turned sharply and at once leapt back. It was when I realised it was my husband Fred, that a warm smile came to me. Here he was, my protector! The man I had not loved in reality, but due to the distance I had now grown to miss. The thing was that I rarely dreamt of him and so, I had not seen him properly for five whole years. I was relived to see him and at once rushed to him for an embrace.
“Is everything ok, Darling? You saw me, just yesterday. You’re not having one of your strange turns again are you?” He asked, concerned.
With my head leant on his chest, I tore myself from him. Inside I was crying but some part of me had never left him, some part of me didn't see this moment as a dream but it was and I knew soon I would wake up not to reality, but to a dream that had and perhaps always would be my life.
“I am fine. I just missed you whilst I was away, that’s all.” I replied, reassuringly.
“Away? But you were here last night? I love you, you know that?”
“I know, Fred, I know.”