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Chapter 8: A year after ...


It’s been a year since I rejected Tobias. It had been hard, real hard. At first he didn’t want to accept my rejection. I had to beg him to let me go so I could live my life. Eventually, after a week of begging from me and my brother, he accepted it. Our bond broke.

The pain was ... excruciating. I never felt anything like that. What made it worst, was that everytime he was with her ... I felt it. Especially the first few months. Eventually it stopped after 3 months. But everytime I saw one of them, it was like someone ripped the bandage of my metaphorically wound. I couldn’t bare to see one of them, let alone to see them together.

What was worse, is that I lost my wolf. She was angry because I rejected our mate. So first she gave me the silent treatment, but then the pain came whenever he was with her. My wolf howled and cried, it was worse for her I think. Because one day I woke up with a headache and my wolf was gone. It felt like a piece from my soul went missing and I was left with a shell. No mate, no wolf.

I tried to stay strong for my brother, helping him as much as I could since he became Gamma. Of course he had my dad to help him, but sometimes my brother just needed me. So I was there.

I got a teaching job. I couldn’t be a warrior like I wanted because I didn't have my wolf anymore. I didn’t want to be looked at as weak, so I never told anyone. I didn’t need their pity.
There was also the issue that I would have to live in the packhouse if I were to gain back my wolf and become a warrior Which would mean that I would see the happy family everyday. Which wasn't an option.

Everytime I think I am getting better, I see them or their baby and everything comes rushing back. I hate it! I feel weak because of it. It doesn’t seem to affect him as much. Maybe he never cared, maybe it's because he has Dana, maybe he is just stronger ... who knows.

Today we are celebrating my brother’s first year as a Gamma. We are all very proud of him and wanted to congratulate him on surviving his first year as Gamma. My parents invited friends and family. I help decorating and making the food.

As it was a surprise party, we are all hiding in the garden, until my brother gets home. Vicky would mindlink when they were almost home. So for now we can just talk with our family and friends.

“Hi Squeeky, is that you?”

I turn around to find my cousin Will standing behind me, with a big smirk on his face. Since we were little he called me squeeky because I fell out a tree. Due to the impact I could only squeek the first few minutes. When I was okay, Will found it hilarious, so he called me Squeeky ever since.

“Hi Will, or should I say Beta Will?” I tease him

“As long as I can say Squeeky, you can say Will” he smiles

“And what if I want you to call me Maddy?”

“Pffft, where is the fun in that?” We laugh together.

Just like that I realise how much I missed my cousin. I didn’t see him much, he lived in another pack. But he used to come over in the summer and he would acted like my brother’s twin. Only he had blond hair, like my aunt.

“How have you been?” He asks me, I can see the compassion in his eyes.

I know my mom told his mom, I mean they are still sisters. And his mom probably told him.

“I’m fine”

“Liar, I have seen what a rejection can do to a wolf. You don’t need to be all strong around me” he tells me while putting a hand on my shoulder.

Just then we get a mindlink that James and Vicky will arrive in a minute. We all hide ourselves in the forest, behind the tables ... just anywhere.

I am sitting behind the shed with Will close behind me. He is giggling like a school girl. Which is hilarious, concidering how tall he is. James and Will would always pull pranks on me, so it was fun to turn the tables.

After a minute, the back door opens, we all jump forward and scream “SURPRISE”

I open my eyes and see a very surprised and happy James with Vicky at his side. I walk up to them and hug my brother.

“Good job on surviving your first year” I say while pulling him in a tigh hug.

When the hug loosens he looks at me: “I couldn’t have done it without you” he smiles at me.

After our hug, James gets a lot attention from other packmembers, friends and family. But a minute later, I see someone else appearing from the house.

“Hey Gamma, congrats” ... it’s the happy family, Tobias, Dana and Jenny, their bundle of joy.

I wasn’t prepared to see them. I didn’t want to see them, not in my house. Why were they in my house? My safe place didn’t feel safe anymore.

Without saying anything I turn around and walked in high speed to the forest. I don’t want to ruin the party with my tears. My route to my bedroom is being blocked by them so my only escape is the forest.


I am confused, to say the least. A second ago my cousin was happy and smiling. But then these people walk in and she just leaves... wait! I get it

These must be her ex mate and ex best friend. But who in there right mind comes to the house where your ex lives?! Weird ...

Apparently James is handling it. He is arguing with them, but the girl screams that he must be respectful to the Beta ... pfffft. A real Beta doesn’t ask for respect, he gets it by proving himself.

I don’t have time for these people, I am following my cousin Madeleine into the forest. She looked so broken, it reminded me of Alex. His mate died in front of him, he was never the same.

The scent of Maddy leads me to a clearing. She is sitting on some kind of stone. Looks like she isn’t crying. But she does look broken. The smile I saw earlier is completely wiped away.

“You didn’t need to come after me” she spoke. Impressive, I was doing my best to be silent. But she still heard me.

“I know, I don’t NEED to. You are more badass than most of my warriors” I tell here while getting closer.

“Than you probably need to find better warriors”

I laugh at her comment. She is always underestimating herself. Always trying to be better, always training.

But her comment gives me an idea...

“Maybe your right. Why don’t you come with me so you can help me”

She looks up at me, just staring at me. There is confusion in her eyes, and a trace of hope. I just need to push a little harder.

“Look Maddy, it doesn’t take a genius to see you are not happy here. So why don’t you take a break from this place. Come with me to the Moonlight pack for a few weeks. See it as a vacation”

Her brows knot together. She is thinking this over...

“Come on Squeeky, I have a spare bedroom and a pregnant mate. I could use an extra pair of hands”

She looks up and slightly nods her head. I smile. I know taking a break from this place is the right thing to do. Now we only need the permission of her Alpha and we can go.

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