Vampire Street Walkers

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It's the early 2000's, it's the technical revolution. The world is changing, but the vampires refuse to move with the times. They are willing to accept My Space and cell phones, but stand firm when Agnes advocates for changing the name of her order.

Fantasy / Humor
Age Rating:

Catch Death

The young man blinked and looked up. She was standing above him, large canvass tote bag slung over one shoulder and holding a rather large orange.

He gasped as she opened her mouth and he treated to a toothless grin.

"That's the last one." she told him triumphantly.

Confused, he swiped at his neck, there was no pain there and when he checked his finger tips they were clean of blood.

The young man looked at the ederly lady, short and squatty, tiny wrinkled prune hands and a puff of blue permed hair and her grin was fangless.

He looked perplexed as he attempted to recall what had really happened a few moments ago when he had stopped to help the ederly lady recollect the fruit that had sprung from her bag and had rolled in every direction in the alley.

He could have sworn that she had sprung fangs and had gone for his neck and he had recoiled in terror, but all of the evidence was suggesting otherwise and already he was beginning to convince himself that he had been mistaken.

"That was quite the spill you took there young fella." she told him kindly "I would help you up, but bad knees..." she said in the unhelpful tone the ederly used when they wanted to appear to care, but really didn't.

He nodded in understanding and began to get to his feet, but the time he was upright his mind had already rewritten the last few moments of his life and now all we remebered was reaching for a rolling orange and taking a tumble.

He was a couple heads taller and decades younger than the tiny lady that approached him now and he felt a bit sheepish as he regarded her with some caution.

She used both hands to lift the orange up in offering. "Here, for your trouble." she explained.

Not wanting to look rude, the young man accepted the gift. "Thank you ma'am." he said politly.

He stood there watching her as she withdrew her umbrella and opened it up and held it up high above her head.

She pointed at the street behind him "You better run along now." she advised him "It's starting to rain and you don't want to catch your death."

He seemed to find his feet then and without further argument he turned tail and booked it out of there so fast that his white sneakers were no more than a blur a few minutes later.

I stood by the street lamp and watched the entire scene in disgust. Edna was still standing by the mouth of the alley as she watched her latest victim escape her grasps.

"Edna, if we don't get moving soon; we will be soaked." I called out to her. We were only half a block away from her, but that "light rain" that the weather man had called for was quickly turning into flood conditions.

Edna seemed to remeber herself as her snapped back and she was forced to let the handsome man go and she was forced to rejoin reality.

She held her umbrella with both hands as she hurried to join me, she was attempting to jog, but this only resulted in her waddling at a very quick pace.

"Sorry Agnes." she said and just then her body betrayed her and let out a small burb against her will "I had forgotten to fortify this month."

It was a lie and a bad one. If I hadn't known Edna better then I would have accused her of insulting my intelligence, she and eye I had fed together just a week ago, but I was willing to bet my last dollar that she had already forgotten that we had decided to team up for saftey reasons this last time.

I sighed and shook my head "You just couldn't help yourself." I scolded her as I shook my head "Sinking your teeth into any young hunk who will give you the time of day."

The fact that I agreed that the young man was good looking seemed to delight Edna "He was dreamy; wasn't he?" she swooned and gave her umbrella a little twirl to empahsize he point.

I rolled my eyes to the sky then turned, offering her my arm. "Let's go." I insisted gently as her fingers curled around the crook of my elbow.

Up ahead they saw two other vampires from a diffrent coven, both dressed in black and looking like hovering crows underneth their black umbrellas.

They seemed to be blocking the path of a young pedestrian and when she attempted to dodge them, they matched her in speed as they stepped to the side to block her escape.

They were part of the Hollie Rollie Order, vampires had to be careful to be seen without being looked at. This is one of the reason why vampires were old, most people were kind to the ederly and were always quick to help them out while averting their lonely eyes.

This was only one reason, the other being that in opposition to popular belief, vampires actually moved at a regular speed. Most people didn't put their guard up when they saw and ederly person approaching them and they certainly never see it coming when one suddenly leaps upon them with razor sharp fangs.

People also liked predictable, so long ago the vampires had began to form orders, each one was assigned a duty and expected to play their role and do their part.

This was how stereotypes had begun and just like the vampires they plagued the mind of humanity and didn't show any sign of dying out soon.

I sighed as the Hollie Rollies finally let the woman they had been harassing pass by and I sighed. "Why can't we join the Hollie Rollies?" I asked Edna.

Edna made a face "Harassing people for not attending church even though you don't bother to show up yourself?" she shook her head "I'm all for bugging people unprovoked, but that is just wrong." she regarded the two women, who had decided to pack it up for the day due to the rain.

"It does look like fun when they yell at the sinners outside of the sex shops though..." Edna mused.

I raised a brow, I supposed that did seem like a bit of fun, but I doubted that yelling at the sinners was what Edna had in mind. On second thought maybe we wouldn't make very good Hollie Rollies.

"What's wrong with the order we are a part of now?" I asked her.

I shrugged "The work is hard and let's not forget the name." I told her.

Just then we turned onto our street, known to humans as Oakwood Avenue and dubbed Vampire Row by the werewolfs and the witches.

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