The Day My Heart Shattered
“Get up you pathetic waste of air.′ my sperm donor of a Father said as he was dragging me by my hair. what did I do wrong you may ask? I woke up late to make breakfast that’s what. I was struggling to set myself free to no avail. my father’s grip on my long chestnut hair was too strong to free myself.
this is how it has been for me my whole life in the Dusty Rose Pack. I was never shown love and everyone seem to just hate me. and in case you haven’t guessed it yet I am a werewolf. Another thing you should know, no one knows I have shifted yet. I shifted when I was nine when no one was around. my wolf Nexus told me to hide it because she said it wasn’t safe. “your life will get better soon.” she said in her hopeful voice I had long since stopped believing.
Where’s my mom during this situation? well, she is even worse I just call her birth giver as it seems to be the most deserved title. they have never shown me an ounce of love at all. My brothers on the other hand have always gotten praise and love. they don’t do anything to stop the treatment I get. they laugh while it happens.
“don’t think that way,” Nexus said, she didn’t like me bad-mouthing my parents. She says they all will see the error of their ways and feel like shit about how they treat me soon. yeah right, I don’t believe her.
My pack hates me and I get bullied in school a lot. people push me around and beat me in school. it’s the same thing every day. I wake up get beat go to school get bullied and beat slave around and get beat again. I will be happy when I meet my mate because maybe just maybe I will be saved.
today is the day I turn 15 and today is the day I will meet my mate. Today is the day I will make it out of this hellhole. then again why would my mate want someone as weak as me. I know I shouldn’t think like that but instead of the happy bubbly feelings, I am getting a feeling of doom. My “family” as usual forgot it was my birthday but I am used to it by now.
As I make breakfast my lip is bleeding and my head is pounding and I know I am gonna have to take something to help with that. I load everything on plates and then I hear the sound of my brothers coming down the stairs. they all give me looks of disgust and take their plates and sit and eat at the table.
I was never allowed to sit and eat at the table and I didn’t have the best relationship with my Three brothers Axel, Joey, and Spencer. They didn’t like me and they went out of their way to let me know that every day. I just wish I knew why they all hated me so much. It’s not like I said or did anything to earn the abuse I lived through every single day for as long as I can remember.
Once they were done eating they grabbed their stuff and I heard the car doors shut signaling that they had left for school. if I didn’t get dressed I would be late as well. So I went up to my room if you can even call an old worn-out mattress on the floor and a broken dresser as a room. I picked out a red shirt with ruffles and a denim jacket with black skinny jeans that were ripped in spots that were not thereby style choice.
my sperm donor and Birth giver weren’t kind enough the buy me clothing. So the stuff I do have is stuff I had to steal. I looked in the mirror and applied chapstick to make it look like I didn’t get punched in the mouth. I looked into my dead green eyes the showed no signs of life, and I wonder how I even keep on living.
I dash out of my room and run to school since no one would drive me and by the time I got there the first bell had already rung signaling that first class was about to start. I get to my first class when the smell of apple cider, Vanilla, and musk hit my nose. I feel my wolf perk up and I search the room for the mouth-watering smell.
I make eye contact with packs soon to be alpha and all-time playboy Julian Webster and he gives me and look that helps anger and disgust. ” I knew it was too good the be true,” i thought to myself as he walks up to me and takes my wrist electric currents going up my arm, and into the hallway. I know what’s about to come next.
“How can you be my mate? You’re not strong or beautiful enough to be my luna you can’t even defend yourself at all. you are a waste of air and even worse and omega. for all those reasons I Julian Webster rejects you Neveah Carmikeal as my mate and luna.” he said as my heart felt like it was pulled out of my chest soaked in acid stabbed a million times and put back in my chest. I let out the most gut-wrenching scream as I slowly made my way home.
once I got home the pain had only somewhat gone away. But I felt nothing but broken inside and out. My mate was my last chance at happiness and now I had nothing. My wolf had long since the rejection shut herself away so I really didn’t have her to talk to.
I made my way up to nothing of a bedroom and found some paper and a pen that I had to steal in order to have something to do. at first, I wasn’t going to leave a note because I didn’t think they deserved to know how I felt all these years.
Then I thought why not make them feel like shit for ten years of torture and abuse? they didn’t love me, hell they always went out of their way to hurt me every day. it was time I said something about it before I left this world. my letter went something like this.
you have shown me that I am nothing to the world and that love doesn’t exist and for that I thank you. I am sorry I am such a disappointment and soon I won’t be alive to continue to be one for everyone else. you have made sure to let me know I am not important and that I have no place in your family of Five.
Tell my Brothers that I will always love them but the road to redemption is long and winding. tell them to hold their mates and never let them go like mine did today. I won’t be home when you get this Letter because I will be dead and gone. You won’t have to deal with this burden anymore. Who knew a white wolf could feel so unloved and broken but you did just that.
Goodbye forever you slave
once I was done with Julian’s letter I put both tear-stained letters on my dresser and slipped out the back door. I wondered into the woods till I reached the cliffs that my parents used to bring my siblings and I all the time before I was five those were the only Happy earliest memories I had of my family.
I sat at the edge of the cliff and cried my eyes out for a good six hours. when I was done I thought this is it. I had nothing else to live for and my family doesn’t love me so I made the choice to jump. there wasn’t a second of hesitation in my step as it got closer to the edge.
as I made my last step I muttered one last sentence.“Julian please forgive me.′ and fell to my death. I felt the wind whip against my flesh and the pressure in my head as I hit the ground and everything went black.