I don’t know how long I have been in my coma-like state, but I know that it must have been for a long time. My eyelids were just now starting to feel light and I knew I would be able to open them. Attempt after attempt failed but I knew not to give up as I tried again. They were heaver the I thought they were but I managed to open them. I was instantly blinded as I looked around with my eyes opening and closing them giving them time to adjust.
Everything was so bright I quickly came to realize I am in a hospital room. My attention is brought to the electric current running up my arm. It brought absolute pleasure to me as my wolf purred. Only one person could do the to me and I knew that if I looked to my left I would see the face of my ex-mate. I don’t know if I could never forget all the bullying that he was a part of when it came to me. I didn’t want anything to do with him at all.
I tried to move a little bit but I was very weak and I was struggling greatly. My ex-mate seemed to notice that I had woken up as he brought me into his arms. I wrestled trying to get out of his arms as I didn’t want to be anywhere near him at all. He didn’t seem to understand that and he held on tighter.
“goddess I thought you were never going to wake up. You can’t imagine how awful I feel about what happened and how much I regret rejecting you,” he said as I was still trying to get out of his hold. He by now caught on that I didn’t want to be held as he let go of me. He had a look of hurt as my wolf cried at the loss of contact from our mate.
“Why am I alive? I wanted to die. Why couldn’t you just let me die? Do you really feel the need to keep me here to continue to torture me? I wanted to die.” I cried in hysterics as I heard the Heart monitor go wild. My ex-mate grabbed my hand and said eleven words the calmed my heart completely but also made me mad .“I Julian Webster accepts Neveah Carmikeal as my mate and luna.”
I wanted to punch him in the face but I couldn’t because I was still so weak I was still skin and bones so I had no muscle. I am guessing the only thing keeping me alive was the IV in my arm as no one can sleep and eat at the same time. I looked at him with tired eyes tears brewing as a wave of fiery anger formed in my heart as I said the words that I had been waiting to say for a long time.” I don”t accept you in fact I don’t even want to see you. Why would you want a weak pathetic mate? get out of my sight.” I said with authority in my voice that seemed to surprise me. Pride beaming in my heart and mind.
My voice had never sounded like that and I knew that What to moon goddess had said was true. But how could that be? None of what was happening to me was supposed to be real. I mean How could I be the moon goddess daughter? The look of absolute horror must have been on my face because he again was holding my hand tears starting to run down his cheek.
“Please don’t say that Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry I rejected you. I didn’t know what we were going through I’m sorry.” he said all in a rush. I was hard to look at him because he looked so sincere, I knew I couldn’t trust him and that he would have to earn my trust. I knew I didn’t love him as no one can love someone who hurt them. I knew that I was going to make him make me fall in love with him. I was going to take no short cuts, it was going to be like a normal human relationship and he would have to gain all of that in time. he would really have to work for anything from me as I was not going to become a cliche. Everyone in the goddess damned pack would work for my forgiveness.
My family however would not get that chance as they were the ones who knew who I was and that I was demi-Goddess and they still had the audacity to try and weaken me. They would pay with fire and brimstone pleading for mercy. I was not going to be so forgiving after all those years of mental, physical, and emotional abuse. My brothers would pay for how they treated me and how they didn’t defend me when I was being abused.
Just as my thought finished the three assholes walked right into my room with anguished looks on their faces. I knew it was fake as fuck and I wasn’t going to fall for that. I must have been shaking really hard, my heart palpitating as the heart monitor went wild again. Because they looked at me clearly guilt raked couldn’t even look at me in the face. “look at me, you cowards. You don’t get to have those looks on your faces after what you put me through.” I said venom dripping from my voice. they were not allowed to look like that until they had earned it. After so many years of being neglected, I was going to be the one to make them feel pain. to let them know how much I had suffered for a decade.
they looked shocked at my sudden harshness as they should be. I was going to make it known that I was not to be fucked with. I was going to become their worst nightmare. Axel looks at me and I can tell he hasn’t slept in days maybe even weeks.
That thought made me question out loud “wait how long have I been out?” I ask with genuine curiosity probably displayed on my face.
“eight weeks why would you try to kill yourself are you that fucking stupid?” Joey asks tears of anger starting to run down his face. his remark made my blood boil as I looked at him and said what I said to my mate not too long ago.
" you should have let me die you three clearly never gave a shit about me before and you shouldn’t start now. you should have had the respect to let me die it’s what I wanted and I deserved at least that. Now get THE FUCK OUT of MY hospital room before I get security here to do it for you.” Resentment mixed with venom lacing my tone.
Joey looked at me with a mix of emotions pain, anger, sadness, regret, determination and the last emotion was unreadable. Axel was shocked as he now got a look at what I had become. He knew that he fucked up with how he treated me and looked genuinely looked sad and remorseful. I wasn’t having it I wanted them gone. Spencer took the time to come out of his speechless funk to finally say something that was very intelligent but somehow made my heart soften for him a bit.
“Guys you know it’s our fault that she tried to kill herself. We were the ones who abandoned her and treated her like a slave. We were the ones who constantly starved and beat her for no reason other than what our mother said to us when we were younger. We treated her like a monster for no reason because we feared her and she never gave us a real reason to. We were the ones who chose the belief mother and be turned against her. We are to blame and if she doesn’t want us here we need to honor that now let’s go.” he said and for some reason, I didn’t want him to go.
Spencer was the least bad one out of all of three of them. He would bring me food when I was locked in my room and after my beatings, he would be there to clean me up. he used to tell me stories after he grew cold to me, I always knew deep down he cared about me. I knew that he would be the first I forgave out of all my siblings. but something he said made my ears perk up and I knew it was the secret that they had withheld from me so long ago.
“What did birth giver say that made you guys hate me so much? and if its’ to say what I think I already know you will all pay for how you treated me,” I exclaimed with my head held high raging anger evident on my face. I know saying this stuff out loud and so openly should make me scared shitless but for some reason, it didn’t and I was okay with it. For so goddess damned reason I felt safe to say what I had wanted to say for so long. I felt some of the pent up anger that I held on to for years leave my body and it felt so good. but what he said next made it all come back tenfold.
“she said you were not her real daughter and that we didn’t need to treat you like family because you were different from us. She told us to make you weak so you couldn’t overpower us and the pack. She said you would be too dangerous if you knew the potential you had.” Axel replied in a remorseful tone as he paused for a second.
" I will forever regret hurting you to the point of you trying to kill yourself and I know that nothing we do will ever make up for it ever. we just ask that you have mercy on us for all the pain we caused you.” he finished grief-stricken with absolute sorrow on his face.
I guess what the goddess said was right that it will be better to forgive them than to fight the sibling bond and I felt all the anger I had for them leave my body and I said four words that surprised everyone even me.
“come here you three.” I paused for a minute so they could reach my bedside to continue what I wanted to say.
" If you can give me a very reasonable reason as to why you went along with sperm donor and birth giver’s abuse and played along with it right now on the spot, your sins will be forgiven. However, if you can’t then you will have to work hard for my forgiveness and it won’t be easy.” I snapped my head to my mate and future alpha.
" The same goes for you Julian If you can come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you did what you did I will consider bumping you up to friend status.” once I was finished They all looked at me with hopeful expressions as they all contemplated what they were going to say. I heard Joey utter a “Fuck this.” and promptly walk right out of the door as I waved him a goodbye with a smile on my face. I knew what I was asking was a bit much but I knew I deserved what I was asking for. I was still shaking under my blanket as the three men in the room still looked deep in thought.
I took the time to curl myself in my blanket as I was starting to get cold and could you blame me? I hand no fat in my bones to naturally keep me warm and I was shaking from everything I just said. I knew my wolf had something to do with my sudden bravery. she purred as an indication that I was right.
“Goddess I love you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I said to my wolf as she nodded her head in appreciation.
“I love you to my beautiful human. keep your head up things are about to get better for us. I know this as the moon goddess said so. I know and feel that things will be rough and tumultuous in the years coming and we will need to be strong. Not that you aren’t strong you went through all that abuse and you’re still standing even if you tried to kill yourself, in turn, killing me.” she paused to let me think about what she was saying but the next things she said made my heart swell.
" I forgive you for that I know living has been hard. Just never forget you have me to talk to even when no one else will. Always remember that my beautiful human. I must rest now and regain my strength.” she said as she sank into the back of my mind again.
It had been a long time since she had talked to me and I know now that it must have been because of all the beating I had gotten and I know it must have weakened her. She who was in no moral reason to protect me, to have absorbed most of my pain to stop me from feeling it. I would forever be grateful for the sacrifices she had made for me. I knew that there was no word that could be said for all that she had done for me. I looked at my brothers and mate again as they were all deep in thought before one spoke up. this is going to be a long day...