Owning Up to Our Mistakes
When My sister gave us her terms and conditions to even had a remote shot at a relationship I was at a loss for words. As she sat in her hospital bed shaking in fear (knowing that it was somehow my fault because of all the shit I put her through) I knew that nothing I said would ever make up for the pain that I had caused her. so I knew that there was only one thing I could say and I was going to make it good. I looked into her eyes and decided to say my peace.
" In all honesty, I deserved to rot in a cell for the rest of my life. I know that I will deserve anything that you or the moon goddess throw at me. I know I’m a piece of shit and I know that I’m going to hell when I die. I will most definitely get rejected by my mate.” tears started to stream down my face an obvious show of how I feel in this moment.
" I know that nothing I could say will ever make up for all the pain I caused you. I know that I wasn’t the brother or the family that you needed. I know that what I did was wrong and I know that if you give me a chance I can’t promise to not fuck it up. I should have been protecting you from harm. Instead, I was one of the people who harmed you the most.” I said laying it all on the table for her. For the first time in years, I was being real.
I felt this crushing weight on my chest As I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” Just the thought that you felt that you had no one and wanted to die breaks my heart and I know I have no right to feel that way. Seeing you shake under those blankets and knowing it’s my fault hurts. I don’t know why I continued to hurt you after you had proved to not be a threat I should have stopped. Hell, I never should have started hurting you. Mom and dad made you out to be a monster when I was seven and I had no choice but to believe them. I was a stupid kid but I should have known better as an almost adult.”
grief in my voice must have been what broke me because sobs racked my body and I couldn’t stop crying. It shouldn’t have taken my sister trying to kill herself to get me to wake up. It should have never come to that and I should Have been the first to stop it. as her older brother, I was supposed to love and protect her first and show her what love felt like. I know without a doubt I had failed.
I knew that what Axel was saying was what he felt in his heart. But now I was my turn to make my case and I was scared of what her answer would be.” I kind of always knew what mom and dad wanted us to do to you was wrong. I knew that I should have been better as your brother. I failed you when you needed me the most. What I feel has already been saying. just know that I will die trying to gain your forgiveness and I will fight to be your brother again.” I said with more determination than finding out there in a field trip happening at school your parent gave you permission for. She gave me the chance I would not let it go to waste.
Hearing what they had to say made me livid. the only person I felt would ever have a chance at being my brother again was Spencer. as I made my mind up I knew what I would be doing. only one brother would get my forgiveness today and the other would have to die trying.
" Axel you can leave the room. I will have the nurse let you back in when I Am done with Spencer.” I said in a shaky voice. What I was going to say to him was big and he would not like it.
Once he was out of the room I looked at Spencer. He looked a little worried about what I was going to say to him. He was the only one who cleaned me up after every whip. He was the only one who was kind of nice to me when everyone was horrible to me. He was there for me even though he was in and out of my good graces. I always knew he had a good heart and that is why he would be the one I forgave first.
“you were the only one who would clean me up after they would beat me,” I said as he looked at me with tear-soaked eyes.
“I never really understood why you and the others hated me so much as I had never given you guys any reason for it. You gave me the smallest bit of kindness when everyone else failed and for that, you have the biggest chance. The moon goddess said that I will need people to protect me for an up and coming war. If you can swear by oath to never hurt me and to be by my side you will be spared. and I will let you in on a little secret.” I paused giving him some time to adjust to what I just said.
“What is it?” he asked with a worried look on his face.
“I am the moon goddess’s daughter and sperm donor and birth giver were right about one thing. I am destined to become the most powerful wolf in existence but they were wrong about another thing.” I paused for dramatic effect.
“I would have never ever tried to overthrow the goddess damned alpha of this pack. If anyone in the shit pack had half the mind to even look at me and my personality or who I was and am as a person, they would have had no reason to fear.” I paused again giving him more time to digest the second part of what I just said.
“It is only because you showed me that small bit of kindness that you have a chance with me again. Do know that I am showing you mercy. With that said you need to swear to me right now.” I finished looking at him in his eyes. A boy who was a year older then me (Joey and Spencer are twins just so you know. okay back to the story.) held relief in his eyes and a new look of determination and it was then that I knew that I knew that I might be able to trust him, Maybe.
“I swear on my life that I will make sure you never regret giving me this chance. I promise to protect you and give you the support you need and the brother you deserve. from this day forward I am in your service. you may use me as you please.” he said as a jolt of energy surged through us.
I guess I forgot to mention that us werewolves can make pacts with each other that if broken means serious consequences for the one who broke it. this means that if he breaks the oath bad things will happen to him as the moon goddess will punish him. I know that he is telling the truth about wanting a chance with him because he would not have made such an oath with such catastrophic fallback. that is how he will make it up to me.
As for Axel if he wants a chance with me he will have to make the same pact with me but for him, the consequences will be worse if he goes back on it. Because Joey walked out on me he will not get that chance. I will not give him the choice that the others will get today. As for My mate, I hope he has something better to offer. I will not allow him to mark me until after I turn sixteen as his punishment. I don’t care how many time I go into heat during that time I will not allow him to mate with me or mark me. Though I get the feeling that I will not go through heat at all. I don’t know just a feeling.
“now that you have made a pact if you go back on it you know if the consequences will follow. you may now go and with that sends Axel in will you?” I asked and he obliged walking out of the room. Not a minute later Axel walked in with an anxious look on his face. I think he thought that He was in deep shit but I wouldn’t tell him he is.
" You know for a minute I thought of never giving you a chance to repent for what you did to me. For all the beating you lead with sperm donor and birth giver. But I now see you as much a victim as I was. So I will give you the same option I gave Spencer. You will swear an oath to me but for you, if you go back on it you will lose your chance of having your mate and a couple more consequences that will follow. You will lose your bate status and will be demoted to omega too. Are you prepared to make that pact?” I question giving him my most luna expression. It was going to take me a while to adjust to the fact that I was going to become luna when I would finally let Julian mate me.
“I swear on my life that I will make sure you never regret giving me this chance. I promise to protect you and give you the support you need and the brother you deserve. from this day forward I am in your service. you may use me as you please. I swear this on my title and my Mate as a brother scorned that you will not regret this.” he said mirroring what Spencer said and again I knew that he was being true as he was prepared to make the same sacrifice Spencer did to keep a relationship with me.
" you may go I want to sleep now,” I said as he walked out of my room. I wrapped my hospital blankets around me and I slowly started to lose consciousness and blackness surrounded me.
I awoke to the feeling of sparks shooting up my arm and the sound of light snoring and I knew Julian was at my side again. I was about to push him away but then I remembered what the goddess said. That I would need him for the war that was coming. I wasn’t about to let my guards down around him though. he didn’t earn the right to see the real me mate or not.
My wolf was going nuts in my head jumping and wagging her tail. she was happy that our mate was here with us and to be honest I was kind of glad too. But again that didn’t mean that he was forgiven. I raised my hand and landed a smack on his cheek as he was startled awake.
" ouch! What was that for?” he questioned giving me a hurt glance while holding his cheek.
" you were touching me and were in my space,” I said in a cold tone.
“so you slapped me?” he questioned and I glared at him and he backed off.
“do you have your case together as to why I should give you a chance in hell with me?” I questioned really hoping he would and I was surprised with his answer.
“How about a chance to punish your parents in front of the whole pack?” he questioned and my wolf perked up instantly. she of all people was not expecting that and to be honest I wasn’t either.
" you have my attention. explain.” I ordered and what I heard gave me a sense of hope for us and our future.
“well, your parents outed themselves to my parents as abusers and are in the pack prison as we speak. I asked my father if you could be the one to carry out the execution and my father said yes,” he said with a hopeful look on his face.
He really went that far to give me justice? He really would go as far as letting me pass judgment on the people who brought me into this world? My guess was this was his plan to get me back and for some reason, I was willing to take it. I really wanted them to know the feeling of fear and terror I felt while they were abusing me. so I guess I would take his apology and his form of payment. so I looked him in the face and gave him my verdict.
“: you are forgiven but don’t expect the mate with me until I turn sixteen. you also won’t be marking me until I say so. do I make myself clear? I am only accepting you as my mate for Nexus’s sake and no one else got it?” I asked and I was surprised by my tone. It was much more powerful than it once was and that kind of scared me.
" Yes, I understand my little mate. I will shower you with love and affection as I should have eight weeks ago,” he said and my heart swelled a little. It was going to take a while before I could stand up to the pack as I did with my brothers and mate. but I now had all the time in the world.
I would have to train harder than the others too. It felt good to have my mate by my side but I wasn’t about to let him know. I was only doing this for my wolf because I knew she needed to have her mate to become strong and healthy as I would not burden her with weakness ever again. let hope I made the right choice.