I try to open my eyes, but I don't have the energy to. All of my senses have stopped working. It hurts like a bitch.
"Arch. Come on. let's take you to the room."
I put both of my hands on the ground and balance myself. Slowly and steadily I crawl back and sit against a wall and lookup.
I close my heavy eyes and breathe out. I need to get up. Life has knocked me down several times, and each time I have gotten up, I have to get up. I won't let these people win. I'm going to work twice as hard and get the fuck out. I can't just lie here and let them celebrate their win.
"Zoe, try …to…… pull me ..up at.. the ..count of ..three, okay?" I say taking pauses in between and she nods.
Take a deep breath. I can do this. One swift move and all the pain will go away.
"1..2.. and 3." as soon as Zoe says 3, I try to push myself up with all the energy I have, and at the same time Zoe pulls me up.
"AHHHHHHHH" trembling from the pain but Zoe supports me.
"You're doing great Arch. Let's take one step at a time' okay?" she asks, and I nod in agreement.
At last, the great civil war is over!
Zoe opens the door and helps me sit down on bed. It hits me. I locked the door from the outside, so how did she come down? But I don't have the energy to asks questions or pretty much do anything else. I want to lie down, close my eyes and forget the never-ending pain.
"Arch, I will clean the wounds." And I nod.
After 15 minutes of cleaning and dressing, immediately I fall asleep.
** ALARM GOES OFF**
"Ahh, what time is it?" I groan.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" my eyes shot up and land on Zoe. She is sitting beside my bed on the ground. It looks like she hasn't slept all night. Her hair is messy, eyes bloodshot red, lips are chappy, and the marks on her face are more evident.
"Hey. How long have you been sitting there?" I asked sympathetically, knowing the answer.
"All night. I thought you might need something. How are you feeling?" I can see the sadness, anger and agitation in her eyes.
"I'm doing better than yesterday. What time is it?" I try to sound as convincing as possible.
"6'am but don't worry I'm taking off from school today to look after you. My doctor instincts are working at its best" she winks.
"Lol. No offence Zoe. Right now, I need a real doctor and Not Doctor Strange. You go to school, and I will go to the hospital. Don't worry about me."
"You sure?" she asks.
Okay, go take a shower, and I will make some breakfast," she said before getting up and shutting the door behind her.
As the door closes suddenly it felt like the good fortune door closing up on me. No matter how hard I try, In the end, it doesn't even matter. I always end up in the same situation.
All the horrible memories flashback and I can feel tears rolling down on my cheeks.
After 15 minutes of overthinking and crying, time to get my ass out of bed. I walk in the bathroom and stand Infront of the mirror and carefully start to unfolding all the bandages around my back and chest. Son of a bitch. It hurts. I slowly turn around to look, and suddenly my eye is twice the original size.
Wow! I never thought they could give me more scars than they already have over the years, both mentally and physically, but they never fail to amaze me.
My whole back is swollen and has turned blue and black. There are several scars and belt marks, but I can see three long brutal Scars. I guess it's from the buckle of the belt. It was sharp and edgy. He used the buckle end three times on my bare skin. It cut right through my skin like a hot knife through butter.
The wounds are still fresh. The skin around the cuts is redder and more swollen as compared to the other areas.
One cut run from my upper back to the lower back, it's the longest, covering my entire back and most brutal. This one will take almost a month to heal. The second one runs across the back, and the third cut is right at the lower back. I move my hand and try to touch it, but as soon as my fingertip lands on the cut, I jump so hard from the pain almost landing right on my bum. Fuckk.
That's why it hurts so much every time I try to sit or get up. Makes sense. I quickly unfold my wrist bandages.
Time to see the scars given by mommy dearest.
Looking at both of my wrists, there are random 5-6 cuts on both, but none of them is deep, thank god. I take a good look at my whole body before removing my boxers and jumping in the hot shower.
After breakfast, Zoe leaves for school and lie on my bed.
Should I go to a doctor? Ahh. Even if I want to, I can't, I don't have the money, and I don't explain these marks. It's very palpable they are the result of abuse.
My body is still in a horrible shape, but I need to go to school tomorrow plus I need to arrange $200 by the end of this week. Shit. Maybe I can take a loan from someone but who? I don't have any friends, and even if I get a job, they won't pay me $200 every first week. Shit. How can I be so stupid? I should have never let Zoe take the money. That's it—no more stupid decision. I need to be smart; I'm smarter than this.
Thinking about the arrangement makes the migraine ten times worse, but I need to think of something fast.
The next two days quickly pass.
Beep Beep Beep.
My eyes shot open as the alarm goes off. I quickly get ready and leave for school. Shit.