Approaching Reflections

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Chapter 8

“Are you angry with me?” Blyth shook his head in the reflection, but something inside him led me to believe otherwise. “Do you understand why I had to do it?”

Blyth paced back and forth within the frame scratching his head lightly, “No, not actually.”

“He knew everything. He read my book and knew how much it killed me to love him.” At first I was slightly taken back by my words. This was the first time that I had really admitted to loving Marcus. “He wanted my love in return for all his so I gave it to him. Plus, Blyth, I don’t really love him. I love the man he was in so many of my fates. He was never that man in this life and I don’t believe he ever will be.”

Blyth looked as if he were getting ready to scold me, but then his mood lightened. “You cannot claim him to be guilty of his present crime because of his past endeavors. Although, he must know that he could never hold your whole heart inside that ball of yours. Most of it belongs to me.”

“God, you know I really hate you sometimes.” I turned quickly as Blyth’s image disappeared in the reflection and he was left standing behind me. As he stepped closer to me I pulled the black crystal from the box and let it sit on the bed next to me. “Get into the ball.”

“No.” Blyth didn’t seem alarmed or surprised by my reaction. He never moved back away from the ball or even glance in its direction.

“Blyth, get into the damned ball!” I ordered again.

“No.”

I stood up getting ready to force him into it. “I’m not playing around. I said get into the ball.”

“Why?” Blyth didn’t hesitate as he pushed himself back into the mirror. “Are you beginning to doubt your powers?”

When I turned around to face him again I could see the smug smile across his face. I could only shake my head in defeat. “I would feel better knowing exactly why they want you. They want you because of what you are. You’ve never told me, and I don’t think that I want to spend all of my energy protecting something that I’m not even sure what it is.”

Blyth’s eyes rested on his crystal sitting on my dresser. “The answer is there. All you have to do is break it.”

I took the crystal in my hand and studied the murky center. “Wait, so you don’t even know what you are?”

“Oh, I know what I was. I just don’t remember.” Blyth lowered his head, but his eyes remained fixed on the crystal in my hand. “I’ll tell you the same as what Marcus was told. Once you break it there is no going back. I might once again become what was placed inside.”

“And what was that?”

I watched in the reflection as Blyth took a seat on the edge of my bed and carefully ran his fingers just over the ball. My eyes drifted back to the ball in my hand. Cautiously I sat it down on the blanket. It amazed me how careless I had been with it, taking it from here to there tossing it onto the dresser. Blyth’s reaction led me to believe whatever he locked inside was no good at all. “Blyth, what were you?”

“For every human there is a Heaven and a Hell. The same is for witches and warlocks, an eternity of love or perpetuity of ruin.” Blyth turned from the crystal and looked into the mirror where he already was. I couldn’t imagine what he would have seen being on the other side of the glass. “I am not the same. You protect my soul not truly from them, but from living forever as a nonentity. I know that if I were to die without keeping my soul placed here somehow that I could never enter either one.

That is how I discovered the lives within the cat. I was dying just as I told Violet, but I have to admit now that it wasn’t the first time that I done it. I wasn’t about to risk losing everything that I was since my original life. You must have noticed though that even though I have the lives it is much harder to end my life. However, you took my lives to give them to my son, but I am more grateful that you became my Heaven. I may be trapped inside of this parallel existence, but I am indebted to you for saving me.”

“But if you have a soul then shouldn’t you be able to…”

“No. I have done enough good and held enough love in my life to see the light, but it will not accept me. Also, there was a time that I was so horrid that the darkness would recognize me, but it doesn’t believe in me anymore. I am only as human as the rest of you all, but my soul is different.

In order for you to understand exactly what I am you must break the crystal or look for the meaning of our existence. I know that you have followed your family history back to Merlin, but in order for you to truly understand you must search further.” Without warning my bedroom door opened removing the mirror and Blyth from my sight. Although he was gone from my sight he had no problem being heard. “I was talking!”

Anthony hurried in stepping inside and shutting the door. He turned to face his dad in the mirror, “Sorry, but you really shouldn’t hang around like that.”

“I wouldn’t except I don’t feel safe out there at the moment.” Blyth nodded in my direction, “You see she plans to cast me…”
“Enough!” I butted in so that Anthony wouldn’t know my plans. “What did you need?”

Blyth seemed amused by my interruption which just confused Anthony even more. He kept looking at his dad for clues, but none were given. “I just wanted to let you two know that Trinity was on her way over for dinner. So unless you wish to join us keep your cool and no fighting. It was easier to explain that you were just having another episode to Ben, but Trinity has no idea.”

I nodded agreeing that I would be on my best behavior with his father. Blyth nodded as well, but he held up his hand halting Anthony before he opened the door again. “Anthony, don’t ever mention me to him. Never bring up my name or even let the word father slip from your lips in his presence. Please?”

Anthony looked at me for answers, but he was only given a blank stare. I had no idea how to answer his questions when I had none for myself. “Alright.”

Once Blyth was back in my sight I had to question him again about it. “Why don’t you like Ben?”

“I never said I didn’t like him. I just don’t trust him Ash.” Blyth placed his hands on the frame as if he were studying the sturdiness of it.

I had no intention of pulling him out of the mirror and forcing him into the ball now, at least not until I knew what he was. “Does that mean you don’t trust your son’s judgment?”

Blyth pushed himself back from the frame and further back into my reflected room. “I never said that I did. Each of us is different, but you know as well as I do his views are easily swayed. Then again he is only human.”

“Wait,” I held up my hand as thoughts began running rampant through my mind. “Both Matt and Anthony are your sons. Does that mean that their souls are just the same as yours?”

Blyth eyed up the border of his realm, “If I come out, do you promise to play nicely?”

I nodded and put the black crystal into its box.

Blyth appeared just a few steps away from me as he pulled the chair from me desk over so that he could sit. “Our children have souls, very human souls. They must do as everyone else and work to achieve their position to whatever afterlife they choose. Our choices burdened us only, not our offspring. That would be cruel don’t you think, to punish a child because of their parent’s crime.”

“So there were or are others just like you?”

“You would love that wouldn’t you?” Blyth laughed as he took my hands into his own, “Keep me talking until all the answers are dissolved, but I can’t tell you. I don’t have that much time here, so I will give you something to go on. Genesis, chapter six, verse four.”

I ripped my hands away from Blyth and quickly pulled a bible into them. Blyth tore it from me tossing it across the room. I watched as it landed and slid right into the door below the mirror. “I really hate you sometimes.”

“Do you want to know one of the things I love so much about you?” Blyth smiled and I could see the world being swallowed up inside of his eyes. “Each time you die you change. Every time that you awake you are different, but everything about you remains the same. Tell me though, in this life, will you see me more often? That was quite tormenting not being about to touch you or look into your eyes. You disregarded me for years. I was with you whether you want to believe it or not. I was right there by your side in every moment.”

Blyth’s fingers ran though my hair and down over my back as he appeared right beside me on the bed. They brought with them a sense of ease calming the tension that was building up inside of me. I collapsed into his chest and let his arms surround me with a love that I have longed to feel. This was my Heaven right here inside of him. Tranquility and contentment filled my veins allowing me to finally feel free.

“Why did you push me so far away from you? Especially once you knew that it wasn’t me.” Blyth’s voice was quiet keeping the mood still in the room. “I don’t understand.”

“You did nothing to help me. You left me to face Hell on my own.” My voice echoed inside of his chest. Air was sucked in and released, but it sounded as though his body was just a hollow shell. He was no longer alive or anything resembling a man anymore. His skin was just as soft as it ever was, and everything else about him seemed to remain the same on the surface. “They are more powerful than me in all aspects.”

“They also have Michael.”

“No, he wouldn’t turn against you like that.” I looked up to find him eyeing up the confines of his home. “Blyth?”

His eyes faded and closed. Air filled up his hollow shell as he lay back onto the bed dragging me down with him. I was content just lying there inside of his embrace listening to the silence, but he had broken the stillness of the room. “It is inevitable. Children always rise against their parents. I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“Why you tried to kill him. I can see everything falling into place.” Blyth chuckled at his own amusement. “The seed doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“No,” I sat up out of his arms and stared at him. He never once turned his eyes my way. Instead he kept them keenly on the mirror. “I’ve raised him differently.”

Blyth’s body quivered slightly as he inhaled, “I did everything within my power to never have children. I thought it was a blessing to have Mathieu, but God works in mysterious ways. Does he not?”

“Blyth?”

“He said he would always love us, no matter what we chose. He couldn’t change our minds, but we were all his children.” He was beginning to sound as senseless as I did sometimes. He was deep inside of his own mind and I began wondering if he realized that he was talking aloud.

I reached out for him, but it was too late. His time was over and he was pulled back into the mirror. If he had stayed any longer it would begin having serious effects on Mathieu and his own decaying body. Even though he was gone I could still hear his voice mumbling. Glancing in the direction of his voice he was in the mirror as I had assumed, but he was still lying on the bed in the same exact spot. I began wondering if he realized himself that he had gone back.

With his mind on other thoughts I brought the bible back and flipped through the pages until I found the one he spoke of. ‘There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.’

I read the passage and reread it, but I didn’t understand what he meant by it. I read the entire story, but it didn’t make any sense to me. None of it told me what he was or why he was so damned to an eternity of nothingness when his soul left this world. In order to figure this out I left my room in search of the one person that knew everything, I hoped, about Blyth.

Remembering that Trinity was either on her way over or here already I walked out of my bedroom and down the stairs. With my eyes glued onto the words that Blyth led me to I found my way sufficiently enough to the dining room where everyone was sitting. Matt was at the head of the table, as always, Trinity and Anthony were across from one another, Ben sat across from an empty seat, and Marcus sat at the other end of the table facing Matt.

I read aloud the words that I had been contemplating, and then I paused, waiting for a response from someone. When no one answered I looked around to see everyone’s eyes on me. Marcus, however, kept his eyes firmly placed on the bowl in front of him. He looked as though he were sick or had been sick. His face was pale and a residue of sweat was forming just over his brow. I could see that his hands were trembling slightly as though he was ready to push himself back away from the table to leave.

“Well, does anyone know what it means?” I questioned.

“Are you searching for forgiveness after last night?” Matt asked nodding to the book in my hand, “Or have you just run out of reading material?”

Ben beckoned me over as he was trying to quickly swallow whatever he was drinking. After I handed him the book his fingers followed the words that I wondered about. “The sons of God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them. It is written as plain as day, Ash. What don’t you understand?”

“Sons of God, what else would stump her?” Matt started getting up from his seat, “The rest is easy enough to get.”

I quickly looked over to the window hoping to catch a glimpse of Blyth, but there was no reflection. Outside the sun shown and the wind ran rampantly through the tops of the trees. When I started turning my head back to Ben who started explaining his words were cut off with a shrill scream from Trinity. I had no time to react before I felt it then I saw him.

Marcus’ eyes were filled with pure abhorrence and his hands surrounding my throat were just as clear in their purpose. My hands grasped his wrists hoping to eradicate some of the pain. I was now face to face with him, and I knew that my feet were now several inches from the ground. My head was repeated thrown back into the wall as Marcus growled each of his words.

“You took everything from me. My life, my love, and all you have given me in return is this small token of your love.” Marcus removed one of his hands as he held up the small red orb. His breathing slowed as he glared into me. I couldn’t see it, but I could hear his hand beating against the wall. Finally the crystal shattered once more into a thousand pieces. “I am not one as foolish that I am unable to see that you have broken it then pieced it back together. It was empty from the beginning. I knew that and so did you.

I let you bring my life to an end as well as my love, but I will not let you kill him. I’ve tried to spare your life to show you that I no longer want to harm you. I wanted to love you in this life. I wanted in this life to love you until my final days, and I was in that way foolish enough to start thinking it might happen. In return for your empty love I shall rip him from you as you wish, except you will never see him again.”

I had no strength to fight him off now. Everything in front of me became spotted and faded. Marcus’ face was no longer there or was it? I couldn’t tell. I tried to lift my hands that fell from his wrists, but they lay lifeless beside my body. If Marcus continued talking I couldn’t tell. The only thing my mind could hear in this moment was everything inside my neck crushing under the pressure of Marcus’ hands.

I could see through the reflection Marcus full of intent to end my life and he had succeeded. I turned in the reflection on the glass to find Blyth, but I was sure that it was there my life was truly ending. He was not here and when I turned around again he was there in that life.

My voice screamed and my fists beat against the glass. Nothing would break it. No magic would force it to release me. Blyth touched my face, but he was staring straight at me in the reflection. I immediately stopped fighting to get out. The streams of tears falling down my face did not, however. Blyth inhaled deeply and as he exhaled I watched the blue fade from his eyes. He closed them and time continued once more taking me from the reflection.

The air filled my lungs and the scream filled the silence of the room. It bounced off the walls and back into me. Never before when I came back to life had I felt so much pain. This time was considerably different. Pain bound inside aching for anyway to release itself. Screaming at this moment seemed like the best way to let it all out. It didn’t help as much as my body would have wished.

I wanted it to have been a dream, but I knew different. I had on no account ever dreamed or had anything such as a dream while I was dying or dead. I knew exactly what Marcus wanted in killing me other than getting revenge against the pain that I had caused him to suffer. Now he was going to make me endure a similar pain. I had sought to release myself from Blyth, but I could never part from him like this. Marcus took him from me with the intent to never let me see or feel him again.

The rage inside of me hollowed out leaving me completely vacant. My body felt numb against everything surrounding me. My magic had held nothing and the world around me was just as empty as I was. My thoughts turned as blank as my feelings and I was essentially dead with a heartbeat. Marcus killed me worse than he could have ever known.

It took everything within my power to get up from my bed. One step away from it and I collapsed against the floor. The pain of losing Blyth was excoriating, and I understood now what it felt like to have my soul seized from the body. Where it started or ended I wasn’t sure, but it coursed through my veins pushing me forward.

With each inch that I had gained closer to my goal it felt as though I was dying repetitively. A hole within my chest was opening releasing everything that I was. It was the hole in which Marcus had torn Blyth from me. It continued to grow the closer that I got to my end. There was a firm whipping against my back urging me to stop from getting to him. My skull was splitting in two from the agony of my thoughts and the pain surging within my body.

My destination had come within reach, but the door blocked me from entering. I had stretched for the knob to let me enter, but my hand slipped off refusing my admission. Unable to lift myself up anymore I beat against the wood leaving bloody handprints against the white paint. Once I had seen the red dripping down the door I looked back seeing that my path had been covered with the same pain soaked into the carpet.

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