Marilla Hali Conway
I wake up feeling completely alone. Empty and weak. An unknown feeling. For the first time, I can’t feel Sereia. I can’t feel the mermaid within me. Nor the ocean blue.
Tears prick my eyes as I feel darkness and cold. Sereia. Oh, my goddess. I can’t feel her or draw power from the Ocean Blue. I can’t even feel my mermaid. And that can only mean one single thing. She’s gone. Sereia is dead and it’s all my fault. If I can’t feel them it’s because they’re in mourning.
I lost her. I lost my best friend. My soulmate. My other half. My better half. She’s gone. The only person who truly knew me is gone forever. My sister is dead. The fate of the merfolk relies solely on me. Tears begin to pour out as my sobs break through the room.
It can’t be true it has to be a lie. She can’t be dead. Sereia couldn’t have left me. Even the comforter can’t keep me warm. Pain is flowing through my veins without a single injury. Screams begin to rip out through my throat as I’m sucked into an endless void of despair.
Had I just listened to her, I could have saved her! It’s my fault she’s dead. I killed her by being so reckless. I placed the merfolk in the gravest danger and now they have lost a queen but for me, I’ve lost everything. She was my everything and now I only have memories.
Never again will I get to swim with her. Never again will I see her parading her sarcastic self. Never again will I hear her witty banter and stupid jokes. Never again will I see her fantasizing over some unattainable romance. I won’t see her get married or have kids. I’ll never see her do anything new only what remains in my memories. Memories that would one day fade.
How can I get married without her there? How can I do anything if she’s no longer here, even breathe? She was the one true person who knew me and understood me. She knew what I was thinking before even I knew.
I can hear myself crashing, breaking except she isn’t here to catch me. Not because she’s somewhere else but rather because she can’t. She no longer lives and breathes. She’s a corpse somewhere that I am unaware of. And I don’t even know the horrors she lived or saw before her last living breaths.
My hand goes to my neck in search of some comfort to find it gone. The one thing allowing me to remember her missing just like her. If I felt her departing did everyone else did too or just me for being so powerful? My body begins to tremble as I stumble out of the bed. Sereia. You can’t be dead, you said you would never leave me.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. Screams leave my lips as the despair grows even further. I attempt to raise to my feet but fail miserably. I try to do so again with a shaky breath grabbing onto a dresser nearby but I fall again along with the dresser. My heart constricts as the air seems scarce.
I can hear the bedroom door open but I’m too devastated to pay it any mind. My vision clouded by tears unable to see clearly. My hand goes to my heart as the most intense pain ever felt shatters it. It feels as if I’m dying and I’m okay with that if it means I get to be with her. Yet I’m not.
“Breathe,” I hear his voice amidst the chaos in me. The turbulence wreaking havoc inside me. His voice an anchor of light. Yet her memory is greater than it. She was my everything and I lost her. “I’m right here, just breathe,” he whispers calmly into my ear. Sending tingles through me but not strong enough to break me free.
I crumble even further unable to let the oxygen enter my lungs. My heart and soul aching only for her. I feel incomplete. As if missing myself. She was me as much as I was her. I just can’t shake the feeling that I lost her. My best friend is gone. My sister, my other half.
Sereia! I’m screaming for you, I want to be there for you. I want to be with you but you can no longer hear my cries, you’ve gone to a better place in Selene’s realm.
“Focus on my voice,” he calls out while holding me and stroking my hair. I feel his lips on my temple lingering for a moment. Yet even being in his arms, I’m cold. It doesn’t compare to Sereia. I would kill for her. I would have killed for her. My lips tremble as I have to correct myself.
She’s gone. I’ll never see her again other than in dreams. I have to live a life without her in it and I don’t want to. I want to live a life with her next to me. We were meant to get married together, we were each other’s ride or die. We entered this world together and were meant to leave it together when we were old not separately.
I gasp for air as she was mine. She was the one true thing in my life. My greatest treasure, one I never thought I would lose. I’ve always thought if I lost her to death, I would be next to her. Never this scenario. Not this reality. I want to turn back time and see her once more.
Everyone always lives under the impression that your greatest love is to be the love of your life. That one person that ignites you like no other and the only one you want to be with. They believe it to be a boyfriend or a husband, perhaps a girlfriend or wife but that wasn’t my case. Sereia was that person for me. Even if I fall head over heels for anyone she was the love of my life. My soulmate even if we were just friends. More than that we were sisters.
And my soulmate is gone. The love of my life isn’t going to rise from the dead like in the movies. She’s just gone. Just like my father and my brother. They’re never coming back. A reality I have evaded for so long that just tumbles onto me like a million bricks.
I hear a faint humming as I feel inescapable darkness around me. I cling to it as if it were the water song playing in my head. It grants a sliver of peace from the pain of losing Sereia. It hurts so much and it mends it slightly even if not wholly. But right now I don’t care. I just lost her. I need anything to hold me together and remind me of her.
I let it lull me to sleep as I have faith to see her in my dreams. Of living a life with her through dreams. I’m not disappointed as I see her swimming carelessly through the Ocean Blue.
“Marilla come on don’t be a slowpoke! The hunters can’t find us this deep in the water, not even water fairies can dive this deep,” she yells as her tail impulses even further. I smile and do so with mine. Following her with a smile on my face.
Racing as we always did. But she won’t win today. I don’t plan on letting her. I flap my tail even faster breezing by her as I leave a trail of bubbles. I laugh as I hear her try to catch up with me. And I get there first while she’s a close second behind me.
“Cheater!” She exclaims as she reaches me and I laugh.
“Oh please, you’re just upset that I won,” I answer her as I pride myself on winning.
“I’ll let you have this win seeing how you rarely win,” she says flipping her hair to the side. I gape at her in surprise. Oh no she didn’t! I grab a handful of sand and throw it at her. She looks at me in surprise before throwing a ball of sand in my direction. Oh, this means war.
I hide behind a rock as I begin to prepare my artillery and raise my head to see where Sereia is. Just as she throws a ball of sand towards me. Barely escaping it as I hide behind my rock. I use my magic to raise all my balls of sand as I gaze out again and send them towards Sereia.
We keep doing so for hours until we both end up exhausted and just throw ourselves on the ocean floor in a banter of laughter just gazing up and seeing all the sea creatures swimming freely.
“Marilla do you think the world will ever accept our kind?” Sereia asks after a few moments and I am unable to provide a clear answer. Would they? Could the merfolk one day live freely among the humans?
“Maybe, but if they never do we’ll provide them the chance to forever live in the sea like we all once did before driven out,” I answer her and she looks up contemplating my answer.
“Well at least we’ll always have each other if they don’t,” she says after a few minutes.
“Of course we’re each other’s ride and die or in our case ripple or die,” I say and we burst out laughing.
“Don’t forget me,” Sereia says and I sit up to show her the seriousness of my next words.
“Never your my soulmate,” I say with an even tone looking at her straight into her eyes.
I’ll never forget you Sereia. Were one till the end of times. She begins to disappear before my eyes becoming one with the sand as someone takes me away. What? No, I want to stay and be with her.
“It’s time to open your eyes,” a woman says as my eyes flutter open. Sereia, where is she? I sit up on the bed faster than light ready to go find her until I feel the void sucking me whole. She’s gone. I was just dreaming. My best friend is gone.
“It’s nice to see you’ve joined the world of the living,” he says from the other side of the bed with a smile on his lips. He looks a little rugged and unkempt but he stole me from her.
“Why? Why would you take me away from the only thing I have left of her,” I ask him as tears begin to flourish out. His eyes break my heart yet not as much as Sereia’s death does. He woke me up from the only place I still had her. The only place I can see her and she isn’t dead.
My question seems to break him yet I can’t find it in myself to feel remorseful for it. Sereia’s dead. My soulmate is dead and it’s partly his fault. If not completely but then again I was the one that ignored the water song for about two weeks for human trivialities. And that cost Sereia her life, had I actually gone with her at nights, I wouldn’t have been with him. I would have been able to save her.
“You need to eat, you’ve been sleeping for over twenty-four hours,” he says after a second regaining a cold nature. I don’t want to eat. I want to dive back into sleep and live alongside Sereia in a place she isn’t dead.
“So, let me sleep,” I say pulling the comforter over me as I settle into bed ready to dream again with her. Closing my eyes ready to see her once more but sleep doesn’t find me.
“Sleeping won’t change anything and the fate of the merfolk relies on you,” the water whispers upon me. “We just have to accept she’s gone despite it hurting, she wouldn’t like to see you like this,” it sings to me and I break down unable to go into slumber once again.
Even the water won’t let me see her. It stands in between me and the one place I can be with her. I need her. She’s my other half and without her I am incomplete. Unable to obtain my destiny. A destiny that will be left open because I can’t do it without her.
“No,” I hear him say as he pulls the covers off me leaving me even colder than before. “I may not know a thing about you but I’m not about to let you starve yourself to death,” he states forcing me to look back onto him. Who does he think he is? He’s part of the reason I lost my soulmate and now he won’t let me see her.
“You’re the reason I can no longer feel her. You’re the reason I lost her and you want to tell me what the hell I can and can’t do? Who in the goddess name do you think you are to tell me what I can and can’t do?”
I scream at him with all the pain and anger bubbling inside me. I just lost the most important person to me and he wants to dictate how I’m allowed to grieve? I’m not having it. Only Sereia could do such a thing. Only she held any power over me to have me succumb to her will when she truly wanted. She was my soulmate.
“Darling it would be wise to watch your words,” he warns me.
“And why is that?” I ask unable to contain myself ready to unleash the fury held within me,
“Because he’s your mate,” the woman answers. My mate? What am I an animal? I’m a mermaid, not a damn werewolf.
“I don’t have a mate, I’m not an animal,” I spit out at her.
“Child you should be wise with your words and tone towards me, keep in mind I am still a quite powerful witch even if you are unwilling to accept the truth,” she threatens me. But all of her couldn’t compare to the power held in a mermaid. Because I can crush her in an instant. I bear the power of the water.
“Is that a threat?” I say through gritted teeth ready to hurt her and bring her to her knees with the power of the ocean blue.
“No, a friendly warning,” she says with cold eyes.
“Then save it if you truly value your life,” I inform her gripping tightly to the pillow.
“Calista,” he warns her as she prepares to attack and she places her arm to her sides.
“Only for you Ascelin but it would do you wise to teach your mate how to act,” she says ignoring me to place her sole focus on him.
“I am not a dog and I am no one’s mate,” I scream now on my knees yet still on the bed.
“You should be lucky to have one of the most powerful vampires as your soulmate,” she says with a reproachful look in her eyes.
“He is not my soulmate!” That title belongs only to Sereia. Whether dead or alive only she holds that place in my heart. A romantic love isn’t always your soulmate, your best friend can be it too.
“And that’s where you’re wrong and you know it, deep within you know you’re meant to be together for eternity. You just happen to be mated to a vampire so it isn’t as primal as a werewolf. Vampires are much gentler creatures when it comes to mating.”
I’m to be wed to the future King of the Merfolk. He is not my mate. I am not a wolf. I’m not like them. I do not abide by their rules or laws. I break them to survive.
“But you are my child,” I hear Selene’s voice whisper to me. I’m mated to a vampire? But, why? What about the merfolk. I’m there only hope at a peaceful and normal life away from harm’s way. But he might be the only one that can help mend me after losing Sereia.