Sereia Marinda Hanon
Selene, the water, and Atargatis as well as Marilla. All sitting or floating. Marilla with her beautiful shimmering sky blue tail and I with my crystal whitetail. Flapping gently the cool waters we’re in.
“The water needs you,” Atargatis is the first to break the silence. “You need the water as well, you must be one with it, the time nears for you to return home.” My heart clenches at the thought of home and how I’ll return broken and scarred. The things he placed me through engraved in my skin. A reminder I shall forever hold. A reminder they weren’t with me.
“You weren’t there,” I whisper looking at them all. They didn’t save me. They left me alone with that man. He hurt me and they weren’t there. They forgot about me. They didn’t stop him.
“I’m sorry,” Marilla apologizes with a whisper. Her eyes, full of sorrow and regret. I can see her hurting and aching inside. Her eyes showing an immeasurable love for me but it doesn’t mitigate the fact that she left me alone when I needed her.
“I was alone and scared and you weren’t there,” I repeat with a broken heart as tears stream down from my eyes. I can see the shimmer of my engagement stone glowing in the waters of the Ocean Blue. Marilla’s tears shining bright in her eyes as she looks at me. As she examines what’s left of me.
“I wanted to but I couldn’t,” the water hums softly. Yet my heart hurts too much to comprehend it. I was all alone and scared at the hands of someone whose plan was to enhance humans with my DNA. I was used and corrupted by someone’s twisted mind. And they weren’t there. For the first time in my life, I was all alone and unable to protect myself.
“None of you were there,” I say heartbroken, my soul in an epiphany of pain. “You left me alone with a monster and he hurt me,” my voice breaking with every word that left my mouth and my tone breaking beneath me. I can still hear the faint whisper of his voice in me. I have to live with his ghost because they left me at his mercy. They left me alone.
“I’m sorry,” Marilla utters again heartbroken as she feels my pain. I wasn’t worth saving. She didn’t save me. She didn’t keep me strong, she never showed. Only in our shared memories. I screamed for her day and night hoping she was alright but seeing her here I know she was always fine. I had nothing to worry about, I was just not as important to her as I thought.
“You left me alone and he hurt me, you forgot about me,” I repeat looking at Selene. She left me as well. Free of her voice and warmth. I was her child and was all alone. Where was she when I was hurting and in pain and she wasn’t with me? She didn’t take the pain away or grant me the strength to be free of him. She left me alone! I didn’t have her... I didn’t have anyone...
“I never did my child, I reached at you but were...”
“You forgot about me!” I scream in pain. They don’t get to say sorry when I’m in pain. I’m hurting. I’m breaking. I need them just as much as I did while in captivity. They were my strength and my power. Always motivating me but they weren’t there...
“No, I remember you every day. You’re my soulmate, I would kill for you,” Marilla says as her tears begin to spill out her eyes. She looks to be in just as much pain as me. But she wasn’t there. She doesn’t know the horrors he subjected me through. The pain... the trials... the experiments...
“You left me alone, you forgot about me, you let him hurt me,” my voice falters with each of my words. My soul pulling towards her in aching need yet bleeding out. She’s my soulmate and she hurt me. “Where were you? I needed you, I need you,” I whisper unable to heal without her. “Find me,” I whisper. “Find me, I need you,” I whisper as I’m beginning to be pulled away by the nightmares and demons.
“Sereia, wait! Come back! I love you! You’re my soulmate! Sereia come back, I need you! Please come back,” I hear her scream yet it’s too distant. The demons have already taken hold over me.
“Be one with the water,” Atargatis says as they begin to fade out as well. I’m all alone again.
I stir as I feel the pinch of needles and the current of electricity flow through me. His unfaltering smile as he opens me up for his purposes. My body convulsing to break free from him. To break away from his touch and tools. I don’t want to be here. Marilla where are you.
The pain rippling through me as he breaks through my skin. My breathing fails me as the pain takes on a whole new level of pain. Unreachable amounts of it numbing even my soul. I gasp breathlessly as my heart makes a halting stop. No. Make it stop. Please.
I bolt up from the bed and as I look at my surroundings I come to the realization that I’m not in the lab. I’m somewhere else. Monitors reading my heartbeat. He isn’t here. Just a voice in my head. The tears roll down my eyes in huge amounts unable to cease. They’re endless as I refused to shed one in his presence. I refused to grant him said power. Marilla I need you. Where are you?
I hold myself trying to steady myself as my body shakes uncontrollably from the fear. I need my soulmate more than ever but she isn’t here. She’s nowhere in sight. The slight hum of the watersong lulling me into calmness. But there is a whole swirling storm inside me that it can’t calm. I need water. I need its power to heal me and take away all this pain but I can’t feel the power of the Ocean Blue.
I can’t seem to call it forward or have it come to me. I can’t feel it. I just feel an overwhelming sense of fear and coldness. I feel an emptiness never before felt. The machines recording my racing heart just as the door bursts open. I scream in ache unable to contain myself. I need them yet they still left me alone again.
“Selene,” I call out for her but am met with silence. “Where are you, why aren’t you here?” I scream as someone wraps me in their arms. My racing heart calming down as it hears the person’s heartbeat as a song to calm myself. My breathing still falters but it regulates as the person strokes my hair and my head rests on his chest. He holds me steady as I ache for comfort.
Everyone I thought would catch me nowhere in sight. Just the slight hum of the water song. But here is this stranger consoling me in his arms as my world is falling apart. Far away from my home and broken. I don’t even know him or who I’m with. Yet his heartbeat beats in unison with me. His breathing an example for me to follow but I can’t let my guard down.
I thought I was safe. I thought no one knew what I was and I lowered my guard. I never thought that maniac would be watching me for as long as he did. His memory is imprinted in my brain as well as my skin unable to wash away. It’s as if he were a ghost right next to me, his words ringing in my ear about working with hunters.
My mind refusing to believe such a thing. My mother dead. My sister dead. But what if it wasn’t true. What if she lived? What if they both lived? We never knew what they did with the bodies but what if she lived? Would she be living what I lived at the hands of that sick man? Was she being abused?
I mourned her. My father mourned her. It took him years to move on and now there was a chance that they may both live. I don’t want to believe it but my heat can’t help it. She’s my mother and I love her. I can’t ignore his words, If she’s out there, I have to find her.
My heart hopes for the best despite my brain unable to grasp that reality. As if trying to protect me from the pain it may come if it were a lie but I want to hope. What if she lived? I have to find out and if she lived I could free her of her torment. I could reunite my family and we could be happy once again. I could have my family back.
I need my mother now more than I ever did. I need her to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. Not just to tell me I was making the right choice in getting into an arranged marriage. The horrors lived under that man proved to me just what Marilla always said. We aren’t safe living amongst humans. Our marriage will grant our people that. They won’t have to suffer what I did. They won’t have to undergo the pain I did. They’ll actually have a fighting chance and we can grant the Ocean Blue a renewal of power.
I have to... I’ll marry him but how can I face him after what he subjected me to. How can I be a queen when I wasn’t able to save myself? How can I face them all when I’m broken and lost? I can’t do so, not when my mother may be out there crying tears as well.
I’m hoping with all my heart that she and Meri live. I need them to live. I don’t know what to do with myself if he lied. I want them there the day I walk down the aisle to become the Queen of the Sea. I don’t want to fail them. I don’t want to let anyone down. They all hope for this marriage and I got to see our future if it doesn’t go through. I have to. Who cares of my heart if my people get to live?
Why does everyone else get a happy ending and we have to see our people die and bleed before us? We deserve to have a normal life as well even if it’s beneath the waters of the Ocean Blue where they can’t hurt us. I won’t let them hurt us. I’ll marry the crown prince and live the rest of my days beneath the waves as the queen of the merfolk alongside my family.
I would find my mother if she still lived and grant her the freedom from the hands of the hunters. Her and Meri. I would find them all and free them before slipping beneath the waves. I would marry him with them by my side. I would have my family with me that day. I can’t let them live the rest of their days as prisoners. I would find them and take them home.
“It’s alright, you’re safe,” I hear him whisper through my constant sobbing as my tears begin to cease. To hear confirmation that I’m no longer in that lab or at the mercy of him eases my heart. To know I’m free from him coming to experiment further on me and my people will never have to be placed under the needle. They won’t have to feel as I did.
I cry from the relief of being far away from that place. I won’t have to be placed underneath the needle anymore. I’m free from him even if not from his ghost.
“He’s gone, he’s dead,” he whispers near me and my heart feels the relief of a thousand miracles into one. He can’t hurt anyone anymore where he’s at and that brings me more joy than he will ever know. I just have to find my mother and sister before returning. I would complete my family and Marilla. I would find our parents and our siblings. I would find them. They would celebrate our special day with us.
We would be complete. We would be a family once more and we could be truly happy with no weight of loss reigning in our hearts. We would be a real family again.
Yet the reality hits me. Marilla isn’t the one consoling me. Selene isn’t here. I can hear the water song but can’t call forth of the Ocean Blue. I’m still broken. I’m alone with a stranger. A stranger was the one to free me from my torment, not my soulmate. A stranger cared more about me than Marilla. He was here but she wasn’t. She was nowhere in sight. I couldn’t feel her because she no longer cared.
But my soul does nothing more than call out for her. She hurt and yet I can’t live without her. We swim together, we die together. We were born together and would live our last days in the sea. We would always be together but she wasn’t there then and she isn’t here now. My soul is screaming and bleeding for her, knowing it can only be complete and at peace with her.
The tears begin to flow rapidly again unable to stop as I’m reminded that the ones I need and ache for aren’t here. I would bleed to death for them but they didn’t seem to care and they’re the only ones with the power to heal me. I couldn’t live without them. Why aren’t they here?
The mermaid, within me, silent as she screams for Marilla calling her home but receiving no response. I need to be one with her and the water to heal. I want to heal. I don’t want to feel pain. Yet I’m in a world of pain. Why don’t you care Marilla? You said you did but you aren’t here.
I need you with an aching need. I need my soulmate. Find me. Come to me. I can’t handle this pain. I need you to take the pain away. We... I need you. Marilla! My body is trembling and filled with unwanted marks that I want you to wash away. Why can’t you be here, holding me? Why is it someone else and not you?
My soul contracts from so much pain slipping in darkness and demons unable to pry free. They’re clawing at me trying to take me under their hold but I can’t. I don’t want to. Please help me.
“Make the pain stop, why won’t it stop? Make the demons let go of my mind!”
I scream out trying to break free from their grasp as they begin to pull me under. I don’t want to revisit the lab. I don’t want to be on his table again. I don’t want to see him again. Leave me alone! Go away! I’m beginning to drown, unable to swim against the tidal wave of my memories! I need someone to pull me out and free me from them. I’m not strong enough to do so on my own.
His lips meet mine as if sensing my anguish. My mind goes blank as the demons scare away from his presence. I gasp in surprise allowing him entrance unable to fight the sudden urge to melt into his arms. He’s here. Marilla isn’t. My mind clouded with a sudden passion never before felt. My body igniting in desire as the waves begin to crash heavily flooding reason out.
Our tongues intertwine in a beautiful dance as we seem to mold into one. He pulls us down onto the bed, feeling the same desire I am. His chest bare of imperfections as my hands explore it. He’s granting me release from the hell in my mind. He’s the one that saved me. I hang onto him for dear life unable to fight it. It’s as if something pulls me to him, drawing me in. A feeling I don’t ever want to escape.
I sigh in pleasure as his mouth robs my breath and becomes my oxygen at the same time. I don’t ever want this to end. I am unable to think and allow myself to be free of it all for a second. The weight of hell. The loneliness and the loss of my soulmate. I revel in him allowing him to whisk me away from the pain.
Our kiss deepening and becoming something more as fireworks go off all around. The kiss becoming more explosive and carnal. A whimper of complaint leaves my lips as his lips abandon mine to caress my skin with his tongue. Tracing every curve and exposed skin. I hold onto his hair as his touch washes away the feeling of shame. As his touch replaces the scarring left behind.
His hands granting me heaven as he finds my very core and caresses my every curve. His fingers expertly finding my weaknesses as if we’d known each other all our lives or in an alternate lifetime. I am left defenseless to his power as he dominates me in a way no one ever has. I am left exposed to him and he shows no sign of disgust on him but desires to make me his. Something my body is so desperately craving.
He liberates me from the demons roaming free in my mind. He grants my soul a relief only she could. A lifeline, a connection never before felt. We become one all night long unable to break through the fire and chemistry that seems to be within us. He seems turned on by me. I have an effect on him despite bearing the marks of being nothing more than an experiment.
I let myself get lost in his essence forming something more with his touch. A connection that would always exist. I breathe him as if he were mine. He liberates the mermaid in me despite the chains placed by a mad scientist who thought to bear the power of creating supernatural beings without understanding they couldn’t be made anymore but born. Yet this man changes everything.
He can rid me of my pain so effortlessly and being so alone without my soulmate. I need him. My body needs him. I need to know I’m not alone. A reminder that I can’t be broken. In the end, I’m water and that can’t be broken. Water changes but it doesn’t break. I represent the spirit of the water. I need someone to remind me I’m not broken just wounded.
Something he’s granting me with his touch and lips. He’s granting me more than anyone has since being taken. He’s showing me I’m not alone. My soul connects to his own and resonates as if on the same wavelength. A beauty in it that I crave. My hands reach down to him as with his mouth he spreads my lower lips to find my very center. I’m left astounded and I’m taken to the moon.
He proceeds to wash every imprint that man left on me to leave his own nibbling lightly at my skin. We spend the entire time bringing comfort and taking each other to the moon. I am marveled at the beauty of the act and am left in a gratifying experience that shall forever remain in my soul. My heart swelling for his touch as it saves this moment in its memory replacing the bad left behind.