Suicidal in Heaven – A Journey of Choices

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54

LIV

Teleporting wasn’t difficult, I just had to think about sloth as something positive, as something desirable and here I am: in the Circle of Sloth. I want to take the GPS to see who’s its ruler, but I’m too lazy to do so. I just lay there, try to turn my head to see where I’m laying down, but, again, I feel too lazy. Even thinking is hard.

What do I know about the place I laid down? It’s soft, which makes me think I’m not on the floor of hell. The black-red soot isn’t soft. Besides, there’s no heat on this floor. Which is another characteristic of hell’s floor. The third missing element, which guarantees I’m not on hell’s floor, is the lack of clarity emanating from the floor. The light of hell comes out of the floor, from the wall and ceiling. But my resting place doesn’t make my eyes notice any source of clarity.

Maybe I’m in a mattress, but it’s too irregular. Sure, it could be a mattress filled with lumps to make resting less pleasant, but the irregular parts aren’t so hard. Maybe it’s just an old mattress, with some parts with more fillings than others, or, in some cases, with no fillings at all. It would make sense, if the place where I’m laying wasn’t moving.

I begin to think about what it could be, but laziness attacks and I stop. I begin to breathe, and even this involuntary act stops because of pure laziness. Then, my heart stops beating ’cause it feels lazy. My brain shuts down, because of laziness.

And I’m just there, half-dead.

And I’m just there, half-dead.

And I’m just there, half-dead.

And I’m just there, half-dead.

And I’m just there, half…

And I’m just there, half…

And I’m just there, half…

And I’m just there, half…

And I’m just there…

And I’m just there…

And I’m just there…

And I’m just there…

And I’m just…

And I’m just…

And I’m just…

And I’m just…

And I…

And I…

And I…

And I…

And…

And…

And…

And…

Something falls on me. Something heavy, something that makes me expel the air that didn’t exist in my body. I think it was so painful that took me out of the lethargic state I was in. I almost screamed, but my laziness was stronger than my will to scream. It didn’t matter, what mattered is that I was awake. I had to use that to my advantage, I didn’t know how long it would last. I needed to escape, needed to focus on some sin. I needed to teleport away from there, or it would be impossible to define when I’d have another opportunity to leave that place. But I could feel the laziness taking over me, I fought against it, but it was smart. The laziness directed my thoughts, I couldn’t focus on any sin. I could only focus on what had fell on top of me.

My arms answered to my commands, I began to touch what the sky (the sky is something that doesn’t exist in hell, I’m just a human imagining that anything that’s way above my head it’s the sky. When you’re in hell there’s no sky, there’re only ceilings. Even if, sometimes, it’s so high you can’t even see it. There’s no sky, just ceiling) had presented me with. Firstly, I felt a moment of heat, the temperature was similar to mine. That intrigued me. I continued to touch it, the thing seemed to have hair and arms. I continued to investigate and just stopped when I felt something I knew very well. It was a penis, I tried to drop it, but laziness didn’t let me. There was a man on top of me and, worse than that, I had my hands on his penis. And what’s even worse, I feel too lazy to take them away from it.

I felt like screaming, but felt too lazy. I felt like despairing, but also felt too lazy. All I could do was to observe my situation. To know what was happening and there was nothing I could do to change it. I wished for two things: 1 – That I was laid on top of a woman, ’cause I didn’t want the ruler of the Circle of Sloth to release the cerebral and nerve activity of whoever was serving as support for me just to punish me…; 2- That someone else fell on me to break, again, the state of laziness I was in.

I wished that with all my strength…

I wished that with all my strength…

I wished that with all my strength…

I wished that with all my strength…

I wished that with all my…

I wished that with all my…

I wished that with all my…

I wished that with all my…

I wished that with all…

I wished that with all…

I wished that with all…

I wished that with all…

I wished that with…

I wished that with…

I wished that with…

I wished that with…

I wished that…

I wished that…

I wished that…

I wished that…

I wished…

I wished…

I wished…

I wished…

I…

I…

I…

I…

I began to feel pain, not the same pain when the body had fallen. It was a more deep and intense pain. That shook me up, I opened my eyes right on time to catch a thorn coming towards me. Half my body was destroyed. I made a gigantic effort to get the half that was left up. I saw what had hit me, it was a demon. He (could be she, I have no idea if demons have gender. I say this ’cause my mother tongue is extremely sexist) was just a ball with thorns. Actually, it was a ball of thorns. I looked down, and since I only had one eye it was hard to measure the pile of bodies I was on top of, all I could say is that it was extremely high. I focused on what was near me, and saw that (fortunately) I was on top of a woman. As soon as I realized that, I quickly took my hand away from her, specially ’cause I was on top of her breasts. As I fell on her lap again I saw the bubble demon coming back, I tried concentrating on feeling hungry, ’cause I thought I could get away from there and go to another Circle, but then the GPS told me:

You can‘t teleport when you’re being tortured by a demon. You may leave the place you’re in after the conclusion of the punishment.

It made sense. Hell is a place of punishment, how efficient it would be if people could simply escape suffering just by concentrating on other sins? I just kept hunger in my mind, and I waited for the demon to finish destroying me. I felt a lot of pain, but the worst torture was not being able to scream because of my laziness. When he was finished, before I felt the laziness taking over my mind, I felt hungry. I reconstructed myself away from the Circle of Sloth.

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