} Chapter 66 | Suicidal In Heaven – A Journey Of Choices by giovanicesconetto at Inkitt

Suicidal in Heaven – A Journey of Choices

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66

LXVI

Outside the restaurant, with the GPS on my pocket saying options of places to visit, looking around in wonder with the impossible size of Gabriel’s kingdom. There was so much to see, so much to know, I could barely imagine everything that “city” had to offer. Its unbelievable size could hide infinite secrets, secrets that wouldn’t be discovered not even having all eternity to search for. The city throbbed, and not from the excess of movement that originated from the high number of people (souls). But from the fact that it was in constant expansion. The expansion was visible to the naked eye, it was possible to see its limits expanding, becoming even more distant on the horizon. It was an extremely accelerated growth; the city grew at a much higher rate than the number of dead people.

I was amazed with that growth, I watched with my mouth open the way the limits of the city (that were invisible, at the same time were clearly visible) disappear on the horizon. It was magical to see the expansion. But, after some time, it wasn’t. Death imitates life, and if even in life it’s possible to get used to something to the point you don’t see it with the same eyes, with the same fascination as the first times, the same happened in death. That which seemed so magical became ordinary. I don’t know how long has been, but I feel grateful for the fantastic becoming regular. It was thanks that transformation that I was free to feel amazed again. And I knew I’d be amazed many times more; in such perfect, fantastic and big place as Gabriel’s kingdom, there was no doubt that many more things waited me, there was a lot of opportunities to contemplate something with open mouth something my mundane mind thought impossible.

I began to walk, I needed to feel the city with my feet. To take the GPS and teleport myself somewhere would give me time and a destination, but in life I never took chances, I always only left home with clear objectives. I never enjoyed adventures, never liked getting lost (in every possible sense of the word), so in death it had finally come the time to do what I never did. If I had taken that risk in hell, where I was completely at the mercy of demons, why wouldn’t I do it in heaven? A place where the worst that could happen was… absolutely nothing! Sure, in the beginning of my passage through hell I didn’t have the GPS to guide me, and here in heaven I have had it since the beginning, but that doesn’t matter. And regarding time… Well, I have eternity at my disposal, I don’t need to worry with wasting or saving it.

Walking, feeling amazed, with my mouth opened, I begin to notice everything that existed. The city was extremely organized, luxury cars respected pedestrians, cyclists and everyone who chose as mean of transportation their own bodies and some non-pollutant machinery and that is healthy. Opposite to Earth, where big cars think they have more rights than others and disrespect those who they consider inferiors, here everyone treats one another with extreme respect. The traffic is exemplary, just like life. There’s no competition, and there is help, camaraderie, there is respect for life. There’s no better way to define it. People (souls) respect one another, and respect is everything society needs to be perfect.

The streets and sidewalks are extremely wide, even with more than 52 billion people, there’s no traffic-jams, there’s no confusion, no one bumps into anyone for lacking of space. It’s just amazing to walk beside so many people and being able to open your arms and spin (just like a spinning top) without worrying about hitting anyone. Even increasing the area it occupies, and even if everyone did the same (it would be funny), no one would hit anyone. Actually, there would still be space left. The size of the sidewalks is just unbelievable. Walking so undisturbedly is beautiful, specially for someone like me, that has never enjoyed human touch too much. Specially accidental human touch (or not, blasted perverts. Although probably there are no perverts in heaven, at least, not anymore…) and someone completely unknown. Maybe that’s why there are no buses in heaven, or public transportation in general. That’s why, ’cause they’re unnecessary. Who would use a bus, or subway, or cabs, when you can have any motorized vehicle for free and knowing you won’t pollute the environment, or that you won’t feel tired if you choose a vehicle that the engine is yourself?

Probably at some point I’ll get a car and a bike for myself, but now is not the time. Firstly because being in any of these means of transportation I’d be depriving myself from the details of Gabriel’s kingdom. Walking is the only way of really seeing everything there is to be seen in a landscape, whether it’s urban or not. Besides, I don’t have a house, which would generate the second problem of not having where keeping my belongings. Of course, getting a house in heaven probably isn’t more complicated than breathing, or being able to eat, but first I have to know what heaven has to offer. I need to know the vicinities, see the houses, see what’s near (specially restaurants), study everything that needs to be studied, only then I could have a home (house, apartment, flat, room and kitchen…). A lot to do, and that eventually will be made. Walking through Gabriel’s whole kingdom, I’ll eventually do that, even if by accident. So I don’t worry about none of that, I just worry about walking and seeing all the wonders that heaven offers at, you might say, each step.

I see people talking, there’s no hostility. It doesn’t seem much, but for someone who has just died (I can’t shake the feeling that I literally just died, even after I’d been through) and lived in a country with such hostility, specially between social classes, due to political inclinations, seeing people just talking without any sign of animosity is fantastic. Conversations don’t turn into arguments, even different points of view don’t seem to bother those who are having the conversation. There’s tolerance, they can understand that different opinions don’t turn them into enemies, and that the fact doesn’t need to create heated discussions with increasingly louder voices and the feeling that at any moment a physical assault might happen. When two opposite points are exposed in a conversation, each part speaks their minds, while the other listens, and after that they change the subject. There’s no reply, rejoinder, there’s nothing beyond the exposition of the opinion. Because, if there was, maybe arguments would happen. Everyone sweeps opposite opinions under an invisible rug and talk about what they agree; so, everyone’s happy.

There’s no ego, no fear of defeat. That’s why it’s so easy to let go. No one forces their idea on others, ’cause no one sees the other as being wrong, and don’t see themselves as being right. Everyone just see each other as different from one another, and accept that such thing is possible. Diversity is a common concept, a concept that no one finds weird. There’s no one who thinks (or has an internal certainty) that they are better than the others. They see themselves as they are: humans. And, being humans, they are all the same, specially ’cause they were in heaven. Being there, everyone knows they’re good. And I believe that’s a direct influence of the angels that fly above the city, but that also walk among humans. If they, who are more evolved creatures (at least in the human sense of the word), don’t behave as superiors, actually, they are humbler (and I don’t know how that’s possible) than the dead themselves, so why should humans think they are better than the others? If those who are indeed better don’t behave as such, what right does anyone has of behaving as if they were?

Tolerance and respect are amazing. But, again, the fantastic becomes ordinary. And, when that happens, the cracks appear.

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