I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the dark walls surrounding me. I wanted the darkness to consume me and as I played with the lighter, I was tempted to set my room alight and let the fire take me.
Why did I say that? Why did I have to take the smile from her face?
I threw the lighter across the room and fell back onto my bed, covering my face with my arm not wanting to face reality. Willow didn’t deserve those words but I still said them. What was wrong with me? I didn’t hate her, but I still managed to make her hate me.
It was probably better this way. I was better off alone. I always pushed the ones I loved away, and Emily chose my brother. Not that I was ever on her radar, but it still hurt to watch the one I love get with my youngest brother.
No one was ever going to love me. I kept pushing Willow away from me but every time she got near me I panicked and couldn’t control myself. I sighed. I put it down to hunger. It had been a while since I had fed. I had no feelings of love for Willow...
“Fuck!” I yelled and got to my feet to pace. Then why the fuck did I act like a fucking bonded male when someone put their hands on her?
Shit. It had to be because I owed her one for saving me. I didn’t like her that way. I was still in love with Emily. I loved Emily. Not Willow. I shouldn’t have called her a low-class vampire because she wasn’t low class...I just had to make her hate me...right?
I didn’t love Willow. I couldn’t. Really, I wasn’t capable of love. I wasn’t the type of vampire to just fall in love or have anyone love me back.
“Shit. What is wrong with me?” I yelled again and put my fist through my bedroom door “Fuck this!”
I kicked my door open and ignored my two brothers who came to see what the noise was. I pushed Jimin away from me and ran downstairs into the kitchen. I yanked the cupboard door open, almost pulling it from its hinges.
“Xander!” I shouted and stormed into the main room, where everyone was “Where the fuck is the blood?”
“Hello to you to brother,” Xander scowled at me “I didn’t realise that we were still on talking terms after that stunt you pulled.”
“Fuck. I’m hungry” I snarled “That is why I’m angry. Where is the damn blood?”
Xander shrugged at me “I don’t know. You tell me”
“What is wrong with you?” Dylan asked, “Why are you so angry?”
“I’m fucking hungry!” I snapped “You were supposed to stock up on blood, so where is it?”
“It’s where it always is,” Xander said, with a small shrug “The restaurant.”
I spun on my heel and headed towards the front door. Before I reached it, it opened and Willow came in with Emily. I froze and stared at her. I gulped and tried to figure out what I should say, but Willow wasn’t looking at me and I couldn’t read her emotions. It was like they were dead and Emily was the only one I could read.
She was disappointed and that made me feel even worse.
“Oh, hello Leo,” Emily said and I took my eyes away from Willow to look at Emily. But my eyes soon found their way back to the girl standing next to her.
“Hi Willow,” I said quietly.
She ignored me, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as the scent of raspberry tickled my nose. I felt my fangs grow and my eyes flicked to my crotch. Holy shit. I was getting a hard-on.
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Um...” I stepped back, crashing into one of my brothers “I...I-I have to go”
Xander grabbed hold of my throat and kept me in place “You aren’t going anywhere until you apologise to Willow.”
“I c-can’t” I choked out “I have to go!”
Xander growled at me and tightened his grip on my throat “You will fucking say sorry to her or I will take your god damn fangs!” He shouted. I knew I was in trouble.
Xander rarely got angry. He also never shouted because he was always the calm brother. I guess I deserved his anger. I deserved all their anger because I acted like a fucking idiot once again.
This was why I didn’t want to be around them. I always upset the ones that loved me.
“Don’t bother,” Willow said “Someone as low class as me, doesn’t deserve an apology from a vampire with royal blood. After all, I am below him and he doesn’t want nor need my feelings for him. I’m sure I can get over him. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.”
I closed my eyes and my heart missed a beat. “Willow, I’m...I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology because I know you are just going to be a fucking asshole again. Forget it” Willow said walking away “I won’t bother you with my low-class presence”
“W-wait!” I said pushing my brother away and I chased after her “Wait! Willow stop walking away! Please stop”
Willow ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door in my face “Stay away from me Leo!”
“No!” I said hitting the door “Willow, open the fucking door or I will kick it down.”
“I fucking dare you!” She hissed “Because when you do I am going to put you on your fucking ass!”
“Willow,” I whispered, “Please...please just let me explain myself.”
“You have nothing to explain,” Willow said “I know where I stand with you. I’m sure I can get over you with ease if you carry on being a complete dick head.”
“I...” I swallowed the lump in my throat “I-I don’t want you to get over me. Please let me in.”