The house was silent when I woke and I quickly got dressed in my normal attire. Black jeans, white tank top and a checked flannel shirt. I slipped my feet into lace-up block-heels and made my way across the hallway.
As I walked by each room, I smelt who was inside. As a wolf, my senses were heightened and even behind closed doors, I knew who each member of the family it was. My room was closest to Willow and her mate. She had asked Xander to find a clean room near her just in case I needed her. I thought it was nice but she had forgotten that I didn’t need anyone.
I was a lone wolf for a reason.
I didn’t need anyone.
I didn’t want anyone.
I was better off alone.
I moved silently through the house and made my way to the kitchen. I sniffed the air and sighed when the smell of vanilla tickled my nose. I walked into the kitchen and Dylan looked up at me. It was hard to read his expression but I ignored him and headed for the back door.
“Wait,” He said as I opened the door “I want to talk to you,”
He sighed “I want to apologise for my behaviour. I shouldn’t have been like that towards you and I’m sorry,”
I turned to look at him “You meant what you said,”
Dylan rubbed the back of his neck “I did, but I’ve had a bad experience with a werewolf. A group almost killed me and I think that all wolves are bad,”
“Maybe so, but I still have vampire blood,”
“I know,” He said, “Leila, I know that I’ve not welcomed you into this house but please don’t think that I’m a bad guy. It’s tense knowing that we have a wolf living under our roof but as Xander said, I can’t keep thinking that you are like the other wolves,”
I closed the door and I moved towards him “You fear me,”
“You can’t fool this nose,” I said tapping my nose “There is nothing to be afraid of. I’m not on the werewolf side and not on the vampire side. I’m neutral,”
“Leila, why did you come here for help?” He asked, “Why not ask others for help?”
“Because I don’t trust anyone but Willow,” I said, “And before you ask, I’m not telling you anything. I trust Willow. That is all,”
“You will have to learn to trust us,”
“And you will have to learn to trust me,” I said, almost snapping and I quickly calmed myself down, “I asked Willow for help. Not you. She only suggested that you help me stop this war but that doesn’t mean I want your help,”
“If Willow trusts you then fine,” I said, “But I have no reason to trust you. I have no reason to trust anyone but her and myself,”
Dylan lifted his eyebrow “If you want us to help, then you will need to trust us,”
“I never asked for your help,” I said, “What can you do that Willow can’t? I don’t trust anyone and I don’t trust those who fear me,”
“Why can’t you trust me if I’m scared of you?”
“Have a good day, Dylan,” I said stepping away from him, “I won’t be back till gone noon. Tell Xander not to worry about feeding me tonight,”
I stepped out into the cool air without letting Dylan talk back to me, and I walked through the garden towards the forest. I pulled my bag further onto my back and breathed in the fresh air. Air that wasn’t tainted with vampire scents or the scent of passion and lust. It didn’t take a genius to work out which vampires were being passionate during the night, and the sweetness of strawberry and coconut was becoming sickly, and I wasn’t used to it.
They always had some sort of contact. Emily had washed the dishes after a meal and Theo stood with her, helping her dry the dishes. When she washed them, he was pressed against her back, his arms wrapped around her waist. He didn’t care that his brothers were laughing at him. His mate was more important than anything else in the world. They were deeply in love and it was a beautiful thing to witness.
Willow and Leo were like teenagers in love. It was cute because I had seen my friend go through heartbreak and she was on the brink of ending her life. But seeing her with Leo made me believe that there was love for everyone.
Willow had been gaming with Theo, and Leo always had a hand on her. Whether it be her lower back or thigh. It went to one stage where he wasn’t getting enough attention and used her lap as a pillow, telling her he needed more attention. It was a beautiful relationship and it was meant to be. They understood each other more than most. Their deepest darkest secrets made them stronger as a couple.
I jumped up onto a large rock and sat down, staring at the gap in the trees. I pulled a drawing pad from my bag and began to sketch the landscape in front of me. Drawing for me was something that calmed me to the core. I was able to let my frustrations out and express how I felt. It wasn’t often that I used dark colours.
Light and gentle were my go-to colours. If I turned to dark colours, then it was obvious that my head needed to be cleared. It happened after a fight or if I hadn’t changed into my wolf form for a while or even if I was stressed.
I could change on demand which wasn’t the case with other werewolves. If there was a full moon I would have to change so my inner wolf could let go of her pain and stresses. I often changed into my wolf form when I needed to escape.
The only issue with being half-werewolf was that if I was under a lot of stress or my anger gage reached a certain point, I’d change into a wolf and I had no control over it. I’d hurt people because of how angry I was. I had killed before when that happened so in heated debates or arguments, I’d force myself to walk away. I’d draw or take myself so far away from the situation to allow myself to calm down.
It had taken years for me to be able to calm the inner wolf inside and it clashed with my vampire side a lot. I was beginning to gain control of myself, but I knew that living with the vampires would test my control.
I may not have trusted them but I didn’t want to kill them.